Page Title

Village Events

Monday
Hoop Soup!
Join Ramona Mayhem & Camp Mystic for a hoopjam on Monday from 4-6pm. Hoops will be provided (or
bring your own) and a yummy treat to share--as in the stone soup idea--we all contribute and we all feast! Don't
know how to hoop but want to? Worry not--RM is a fabulous teacher and will provide instruction. Come
Storm or Shine, baby, the hoop knows not the difference.

The Admiral's Monday Night Mash-up
Admiral Painjoy will be spinning a wide mix of "mash-ups" spanning all decades
and musical genres. Don't know what a mash-up is? It's a "vulcan mind-meld" of
two or more songs into one. Ever heard Herb Albert and the Tijauana Brass combined
with Jurrasic 5? The Beatles blended into Guns and Roses? The Safaris mixed with RunDMC?
You will, on Monday night at 9pm

Tuesday
St Tropez Beach Party
Tuesday at 11:30am... For two hours Spankys will be all class!! For all the celebs on the playa who want their
dose of St Tropez - join us for some magnums of Rose and St-Tropez beats. Wear pink/white - and don't forget
your oversized Sunglasses!

The Weird Underwear Brigade
Underwear! Underwear! Drop your pants, do a dance, Underwear! Tuesday afternoon at 5pm
The famous Burning Band will lead the village in our 4th annual Weird Underwear Brigade.
Be sure to bring your wildest undies! And if you have a musical instrument, bring it! You don't need
to be an expert to play with us.

Wednesday
The Second Annual "Shirt-Cocker's Ball and Contest"
THE INFO IN BLUE (below) ARE THE INVITES WE WILL GIVE OUT TO ALL THE
SHIRT-COCKERS WE SEE ON THE PLAYA

Hey Mr. Shirt-Cocker!
You are cordially invited to attend Burningman’s second annual…“Shirt-Cocker’s Ball”... For people who truly
love balls. Wednesday at 5pm at Spanky’s Wine Bar
<Insert playa address>
This event will be nuts! Two hours of fun and light hearted humor. We organized this ball as both a
celebration and a condemnation of the elusive playa-beast known as the “shirt-cocker”. Whether you stand tall
or just hang out with us, you may win one of many prizes awarded in different categories (Best Shirt, Best Cock,
Funniest Overall Appearance, etc). So join us! Represent! Show your pride! Show us you’ve got balls! There
will be a myriad of lovely ladies in attendance as admirers (and mockers) of shirt-cockers. This event was a
raging success last year, so now we host one every year… and collectively, they are know as “the shirt-cocker’s
balls”! There will be music and dancing. Limited beer, wine and cocktail wieners will be served (feel free to
BYOB). And be sure to wear sunglasses (and maybe a nice ribbon for the little guy) for plausible deniability as
there will be a group photo taken for the Burningman archives. Be a part of Burningman history… or you’re
just another dick!

THE INFO IN PURPLE (below) IS THE INVITE WE WILL GIVE TO ANY FEMALES WE
WANT TO ATTEND THE SHIRT-COCKERS BALL
Would you like to attend (or possibly be a judge at) the most reee-dick-ulous event on the playa?!?!?
You know those dorky guys who parade around the playa wearing a shirt... and NOTHING else???
Well ladies, Wednesday is their day to shine (and your day to smile, smirk, giggle and point)… at the second
annual…“Shirt-Cocker’s Ball”
Are you a mocker of shirt-cockers?
This event is both a celebration and a condemnation. And four of these shirt-cockers will win a prize! Show
your support for the men with no support. The “shirt-cockers” will be proudly displaying the long (and not-so-
long) standing tradition of shirt-cocking and celebrating the (questionable) beauty of the male sex organs... While
at the same time, they stand the chance of being mocked and ridiculed by females. All ladies in attendance are
welcomed to be judges for this most hysterical and reee-dick-ulous of events.
Have you ever wanted to openly ridicule these wagging willies of the playa? Does the thought of pointing and
laughing without fear of reprisal sound devilishly fun? Or do you just enjoy having a crowd of captive male
organs hanging around like fresh (or possibly dried) fruit waiting to be plucked? Wanna turn the tables on those
ogling guys that gawk during Critical Tits? Then be at Spanky's on Wednesday evening and have a ball (or
several)! We will provide score cards, rulers and magnifying glasses to the judges.
Contestants will be judged in the following categories: (and the guys, just by being there, are entered into ALL
categories!) Best Shirt, Best Cock, Funniest overall appearance and Smallest Wiener on the Playa (extra points
awarded for shirt-cockin’ with sockin’) Limited beer, wine and cocktail wieners will be served.
WEDNESDAY 5pm at SPANKY’S WINE BAR <Insert Playa Address>
And please remember to follow our strict “no touching” policy… oh, wait, we don’t have one!

Sunset Deep Playa Art Tour
Wednesday at sunset... For all you Spankers who have been working hard and haven't left Spankys yet - here is
our gift back to you. Please join us on the Naughtibus for a sunset deep playa art cruise. Head up onto the roof
for second story viewing or join us in the VIP lounge for a drink while listening to music being randomly
shuffled on our ipods. Hosted by Jack Trash, Phil and Stoke - space is limited to the first 50 people who board
the bus as the sun hits the mountains on Wednesday late afternoon. 10 additional spots will be reserved for
those with good bribes.

Thursday
The Bad Boyz and Babes of Burningman
Best Buttz Contest
On Thursday afternoon at 5pm, Spanky's will host the cheekiest event of the week. Contestants from all corners
of BRC will be in our camp to compete for the coveted title of "Best Butt at Burningman". Prizes will be
awarded in the following categories:
* Nicest Butt * * Reddest Butt * * Most Artistic Butt * * Best Ass Shankin *
Members of the village can volunteer to be judges!

The Camp Mystic Production of GODSPELL
On Thursday evening at 6:30pm Camp Mystic and Cosmic Cowboy present a Burning Man Inspired
Evolutionary production of the musical GODSPELL. One of the biggest off-Broadway and Broadway
successes of all time, Godspell is based primarily on the Gospel According to St. Matthew.As the cast of
actor/clowns makes it way through its songs, we, as audience members get to see the parables of Jesus Christ
come humanly and heartening to life. The show also touchingly presents the story of Jesus' last moments
beginning with the Last Supper.

a Small World - Champagne & Caviar Soiree
Thursday evening at 8pm. Many people think they’re better than everyone else, but some of us really are. Call it
a sixth sense, but those of us who are among that elite are also highly skilled at identifying each other. If you
know what A Small World is, then you know what we mean. If you don’t, then you really shouldn’t even be
reading this. All the worthy are invited to join us for Krug Grande Cuvee champagne and Almas Beluga caviar
at sunset.

"Black Rock Bacchanalian Bachelor/Bachelorette Bash"
Hosted by Villains and Virgins & Camp Mystic - Thursday evening at 8pm
Beautiful brides and gallant grooms are bountiful at Black Rock these days, but bodacious bachelors and busty
bachelorettes are much more fun. Weddings are great, but we all know that bachelor and bachelorette parties
are what we really look forward to. It’s time to send off all our soon-to-be-betrothed friends Burner style. So
bring your stripper heels and inflatable boobs, because body shots and lap dances are just the beginning. Its time
Blackrock City had a Bachelor-Bachelorette party that Bacchus himself would be proud of.

Friday
The 8th Annual LBD (Little Black Dress Parade)
The long standing Tradition continues again in 2008.
Friday afternoon at 5pm, Spanky's Wine Bar and the famous Burning Band will host LBD. Males and females
alike will don thier wildest, most elaborate, sexiest and/or skimpiest little black dresses and follow and sing
with the greatest marching band on the playa, through the streets of Burningman to Center Camp and back.
Those with marching band instruments (yes, kazoos count) are welcomed to "join the band"
Rumors are in the air that there will be quite a few Burning Band members in camp this year! Huzzah!!!!!
This is a long standing playa tradition, so be sure to include an LBD in your Burningman packing list this year.

Saturday
Saturday Sunset Psytrance Set
Saturday evening at sunset... Roll on over to the bar for Admiral Painjoy’s “Saturday Sunset Psy-trance Set”
(Ha! see Phil, I can alliterate too!... oh shut up Phil, the P is silent, like in “swimming pool”… think about it
people...) The Admiral will be bustin’ out two hours of the finest psychedelic trance tracks to warm you up for
the burn! The music will bubble in your head like warm sweet acid flowing through a garden of mushrooms,
percolating through your ears like a recklessly over-ambitious Pop Rocks enema.

Recurring Events

Morning Train
Description and explanation forthcoming... or not!

M.P.R.
(Morning Painjoy Radio)
Each morning, after 10am, Admiral Painjoy will be hosting MPR. A radio variety show featuring music, games,
phoney commercials, interviews, skits and guest performers. The show starts with light, eclectic music and, of
course, goes downhill from there.

Hello Camp
Bored? Lonely? Want to meet new and interesting burners?
Want to strip them of their given names and replace them with dirty names?
I know you do.
Hello Camp will be making it's 9th appearance on the playa this year.
There is no set time or day to give out name badges... just find Admiral Painjoy and ask him for a few sheets of
name badges and a quick lesson on how to attack... errr... approach people, and you're on your way to having
some superhappyfuncool times!

Fizz-Ball
DFizzball is on the agenda again this year... pack in an extra 12 pack of the cheapest beer you can
find... the game was introduced to our camp by Doug "Milkman" Cross, tenor sax, a Burning
Bander, several years ago, and has continued as a tradition ever since.

Fizzball is played by a 'pitcher' pitching a can of beer at the 'batter' (who has a real wooden baseball
bat... and hits the beer can (which explodes with a good solid hit).. there is a very loose '3 strikes and
you're out' rule.. The game is played out on the playa in front of our camp, and participants are
fellow campers, and passerbys.... it is alot of fun.. Burning Band could also play some songs during
that event...for some reason, 'Ballgame' comes to mind...

One year several of us (men and women) were dressed as French Maids and passed out appetizers to
the participants and onlookers..
Fizzball isn't a 'scheduled event' because it depends on the weather, and having a quorum...
So keep your eye on the beer sales...

And the following was sent by 'Milkman" Doug Cross (who, unfortunately, isn't able to join us on
the Playa this year)

It takes only 3 people to start a Fizzball game - 2 players and a can shaker. Everybody else joins
out of curiosity or an indignantly misplaced love of Blitz, Blatz, Pabst, or Olde Frothingslosh, "The
Pale Stale Ale with the Foam on the Bottom"... and if any green-type jerks start givin ya lip, tell'em
The Milkman will deliver'em a heavy load of curdled lard!

Inappropriate Yoga Classes
Want to add some more warrior to your downward dog? Well, Na-ma-ste ladies! Our Ogden’s
Yoga Palace certified squad of Inappropriate Yogis will rock your chakras.
Ooooohhhhhhmmmmm-mygod.
Gratuitous adjustments will be given on a discretionary basis to students possessing the required
aptitude for inappropriate yoga.

JimHillas.Org Spanky's Village
"We won't do anything to you that you won't beg for again tomorrow"