| Camp Events "Cooning" After Burningman last year, Admiral Painjoy met a couple in a casino in Reno. They were obvious "burners" who had just left the event. After talking with them a bit, he asked them what their camp did at bman. The said they did a few fun things, but the most fun was "cooning". He had never heard of this in all his years on the playa, so he asked them to explain. They did... and immediately after they did, he knew he had to steal the idea! Cooning is best done in groups of 4-6 late, late at night... While drunk... "Cooning" is dressing up in raccoon costumes (masks) and quietly sneaking into other people's dark camps. Then, all of us "coons" get on all fours and find one of their coolers and begin to root around in there. Once we find their beer, we pop open a couple cans and begin drinking them whilst frolicking a bit (as drunk raccoons do). This is bound to make some noise and awaken the owner of the cooler. If it doesn't, we will make squeeky, screechy raccoon noises until they do wake up. When this happens, they invariably get up and shine a light on us... at which time we all freeze and stare at them with our raccoon faces. Then we slowly back away from them while maintaining eye contact... and resist the temptation to crack up laughing! We will give "Spanky's Wine Bar" drink coupons (that explain the prank) to our victims. Morning Train It has not yet been determined whether or not we will perform the daily "My Baby Takes the Morning Train" hootinanny... This will be determined by a camp vote this summer. M.P.R. (Morning Painjoy Radio) Each morning, after 9am, Admiral Painjoy will be hosting MPR. A radio variety show featuring music, games, phoney commercials, interviews, skits and guest performers. The show starts with light, eclectic music and, of course, goes downhill from there. The Carne Armada The theme for this year Carne Armada attack is: "Swashbuckling Pirates of the High-Playa Seas" Once again, the ships of the infamous Carne Armada have been commissioned to sail the high seas of the playa to attack an unsuspecting, but well deserving camp. Our attack will be on Tuesday afternoon at 5pm as we provide gourmet food, dance, performance and drink for another hard-working group of burners. CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE AND SIGN UP FOR THE CARNE ARMADA The Bad Boyz of Burningman Best Buttz Contest On Thursday afternoon at 5pm, Spanky's will host the cheekiest event of the week on the playa. Contestants from all corners of BRC will be in our camp to compete for the coveted title of "Best Butt at Burningman". Prizes will be awarded in the following catagories: * Nicest Butt * * Reddest Butt * * Most Artistic Butt * * Best Ass Shankin * Wanna be a best buttz judge? You must be a female camper at Spanky's... Fill out the form below: |
JimHillas.Org Spanky's Wine Bar
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| The First Annual "Shirt-Cocker's Ball and Contest" THE INFO IN BLUE (below) ARE THE INVITES WE WILL GIVE OUT TO ALL THE SHIRT-COCKERS WE SEE ON THE PLAYA Hey Mr. Shirt-Cocker! You are cordially invited to attend Burningman’s first ever… “Shirt-Cocker’s Ball” For People who truly love balls Wednesday at 5pm at Spanky’s Wine Bar <Insert playa address> This event will be nuts! Two hours of fun and light hearted humor. We organized his ball as both a celebration and a condemnation of the elusive playa-beast known as the “shirt-cocker”. Whether you stand tall or just hang out with us, you may win one of many prizes awarded in different categories (Best Shirt, Best Cock, Funniest Overall Appearance, etc). So join us! Represent! Show your pride! Show us you’ve got balls! There will be a myriad of lovely ladies in attendance as admirers (and mockers) of shirt- cockers. If this event is the raging success we think it will be, we will host one every year… and collectively, they will be know as “the shirt-cocker’s balls”! There will be music and dancing. Limited beer, wine and cocktail wieners will be served (feel free to BYOB). And be sure to wear sunglasses (and maybe a nice ribbon for the little guy) for plausible deniability as there will be a group photo taken for the Burningman archives. Be a part of Burningman history… or you’re just another dick! THE INFO IN PURPLE (below) IS THE INVITE WE WILL GIVE TO ANY FEMALES WE WANT TO ATTEND THE SHIRT-COCKERS BALL Would you like to attend (or possibly be a judge at) the most reee-dick-ulous event on the playa?!?!? You know those dorky guys who parade around the playa wearing a shirt... and NOTHING else??? Well ladies, Wednesday is their day to shine (and your day to smile, smirk, giggle and point)… at the first annual… “Shirt-Cocker’s Ball” Are you a mocker of shirt-cockers? This event is both a celebration and a condemnation. And four of these shirt- cockers will win a prize! Show your support for the men with no support. The “shirt-cockers” will be proudly displaying the long (and not-so-long) standing tradition of shirt-cocking and celebrating the (questionable) beauty of the male sex organs... While at the same time, they stand the chance of being mocked and ridiculed by females. All ladies in attendance are welcomed to be judges for this most hysterical and reee-dick-ulous of events. Have you ever wanted to openly ridicule these wagging willies of the playa? Does the thought of pointing and laughing without fear of reprisal sound devilishly fun? Or do you just enjoy having a crowd of captive male organs hanging around like fresh (or possibly dried) fruit waiting to be plucked? Wanna turn the tables on those ogling guys that gawk during Critical Tits? Then be at Spanky's on Wednesday evening and have a ball (or several)! We will provide score cards, rulers and magnifying glasses to the judges. Contestants will be judged in the following categories: (and the guys, just by being there, are entered into ALL categories!) Best Shirt, Best Cock, Funniest overall appearance and Smallest Wiener on the Playa (extra points awarded for shirt-cockin’ with sockin’) Limited beer, wine and cocktail wieners will be served. WEDNESDDAY 5pm at SPANKY’S WINE BAR <Insert Playa Address> And please remember to follow our strict “no touching” policy… oh, wait, we don’t have one! The 7th Annual LBD (Little Black Dress Parade) The long standing Tradition continues again in 2008. Friday afternoon at 5pm, Spanky's Wine Bar and the famous Burning Band will host LBD. Males and females alike will don thier wildest, most elaborate, sexiest and/or skimpiest little black dresses and follow and sing with the greatest marching band on the playa, through the streets of Burningman to Center Camp and back. Those with marching band instruments (yes, kazoos count) are welcomed to "join the band" Rumors are in the air that there will be quite a few Burning Band members in camp this year! Huzzah!!!!! This is a long standing playa tradition, so be sure to include an LBD in your Burningman packing list this year. |
| Great Billiard Trick Shot CLICK HERE |
| Pussy Licking Instructional Video CLICK HERE |
| Hello Camp Bored? Lonely? Want to meet new and interesting burners? Want to strip them of their given names and replace them with dirty names? I know you do. Hello Camp will be making it's 9th appearance on the playa this year. There is no set time or day to give out name badges... just find Admiral Painjoy and ask him for a few sheets of name badges and a quick lesson on how to attack... errr... approach people, and you're on your way to having some superhappyfuncool times! |
| Velvet Vixen Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future. Join us for a ceremony of Sanctity and Sin. Vodka infused baptisms and Viagra induced bacchanalianism. There will be de-virginizing in the Bordello, and de-vilifying in the Basilica. After all, we are each of us saints and sinners, creators and destroyers, villains and virgins. This party will be hosted by Villians and Virgins on Thursday... 5pm - 10pm at Spanky's |
JimHillas.Org Spanky's Wine Bar
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