Village Events

Monday


The Admiral's Monday Night Mash-up
Admiral Painjoy will be spinning a wide mix of "mash-ups" spanning all decades
and musical genres.  Don't know what a mash-up is?  It's a "vulcan mind-meld" of
two or more songs into one.  Ever heard Herb Albert and the Tijauana Brass combined
with Jurrasic 5?  The Beatles blended into Guns and Roses?  The Safaris mixed with RunDMC?
You will, on Monday night at 9pm



Tuesday

The Weird Underwear Brigade
Underwear!  Underwear!  Drop your pants, do a dance, Underwear!  Tuesday afternoon at 5pm
The famous Burning Band will lead the village in our 4th annual  Weird Underwear Brigade.
Be sure to bring your wildest undies!  And if you have a musical instrument, bring it!  You don't need
to be an expert to play with us.


Wednesday

Burning Band Party
???

The Second Annual "Shirt-Cocker's Ball and Contest"
THE INFO IN BLUE (below) ARE THE INVITES WE WILL GIVE OUT TO ALL THE
SHIRT-COCKERS WE SEE ON THE PLAYA

Hey Mr. Shirt-Cocker!
You are cordially invited to attend Burningman’s second annual…“Shirt-Cocker’s Ball”... For People who truly
love balls.  Wednesday at 5pm at Spanky’s Wine Bar
<Insert playa address>
This event will be nuts!  Two hours of fun and light hearted humor.  We organized this ball as both a
celebration and a condemnation of the elusive playa-beast known as the “shirt-cocker”.  Whether you stand tall
or just hang out with us, you may win one of many prizes awarded in different categories (Best Shirt, Best Cock,
Funniest Overall Appearance, etc).  So join us!  Represent!  Show your pride!  Show us you’ve got balls!  There
will be a myriad of lovely ladies in attendance as admirers (and mockers) of shirt-cockers.  If this event is the
raging success we think it will be, we will host one every year… and collectively, they will be know as “the
shirt-cocker’s balls”!There will be music and dancing.  Limited beer, wine and cocktail wieners will be served
(feel free to BYOB).  And be sure to wear sunglasses (and maybe a nice ribbon for the little guy) for plausible
deniability as there will be a group photo taken for the Burningman archives.  Be a part of Burningman
history… or you’re just another dick!

THE INFO IN PURPLE (below) IS THE INVITE WE WILL GIVE TO ANY FEMALES WE
WANT TO ATTEND THE SHIRT-COCKERS BALL
Would you like to attend (or possibly be a judge at) the most reee-dick-ulous event on the playa?!?!?
You know those dorky guys who parade around the playa wearing a shirt... and NOTHING else???  
Well ladies, Wednesday is their day to shine (and your day to smile, smirk, giggle and point)… at the second
annual…“Shirt-Cocker’s Ball”
Are you a mocker of shirt-cockers?
This event is both a celebration and a condemnation. And four of these shirt-cockers will win a prize! Show
your support for the men with no support.  The “shirt-cockers” will be proudly displaying the long (and not-so-
long) standing tradition of shirt-cocking and celebrating the (questionable) beauty of the male sex organs... While
at the same time, they stand the chance of being mocked and ridiculed by females.  All ladies in attendance are
welcomed to be judges for this most hysterical and reee-dick-ulous of events.  
Have you ever wanted to openly ridicule these wagging willies of the playa? Does the thought of pointing and
laughing without fear of reprisal sound devilishly fun? Or do you just enjoy having a crowd of captive male
organs hanging around like fresh (or possibly dried) fruit waiting to be plucked?  Wanna turn the tables on those
ogling guys that gawk during Critical Tits?  Then be at Spanky's on Wednesday evening and have a ball (or
several)!  We will provide score cards, rulers and magnifying glasses to the judges.  
Contestants will be judged in the following categories:  (and the guys, just by being there, are entered into ALL
categories!)  Best Shirt, Best Cock, Funniest overall appearance and Smallest Wiener on the Playa (extra points
awarded for shirt-cockin’ with sockin’)  Limited beer, wine and cocktail wieners will be served.
WEDNESDAY 5pm at SPANKY’S WINE BAR <Insert Playa Address>
And please remember to follow our strict “no touching” policy… oh, wait, we don’t have one!



Thursday

Villains and Virgins / Camp Mystic Party
???

The Bad Boyz and Babes of Burningman
Best Buttz Contest
On Thursday afternoon at 5pm, Spanky's will host the cheekiest event of the week.  Contestants from all corners
of BRC will be in our camp to compete for the coveted title of "Best Butt at Burningman".  Prizes will be
awarded in the following categories:
* Nicest Butt *   * Reddest Butt *   * Most Artistic Butt *   * Best Ass Shankin *
Members of the village can volunteer to be judges!




Friday

The 8th Annual LBD (Little Black Dress Parade)
The long standing Tradition continues again in 2008.
Friday afternoon at 5pm, Spanky's Wine Bar and the famous Burning Band will host LBD.  Males and females
alike will don thier wildest, most elaborate, sexiest and/or skimpiest little black dresses and follow and sing
with the greatest marching band on the playa, through the streets of Burningman to Center Camp and back.
Those with marching band instruments (yes, kazoos count) are welcomed to "join the band"
Rumors are in the air that there will be quite a few Burning Band members in camp this year!  Huzzah!!!!!
This is a long standing playa tradition, so be sure to include an LBD in your Burningman packing list this year.





Recurring Events

Morning Train
Description and explanation forthcoming...


M.P.R.
(Morning Painjoy Radio)
Each morning, after 11am, Admiral Painjoy will be hosting MPR.  A radio variety show featuring music, games,
phoney commercials, interviews, skits and guest performers.  The show starts with light, eclectic music and, of
course, goes downhill from there.



Hello Camp
Bored?  Lonely?  Want to meet new and interesting burners?
Want to strip them of their given names and replace them with dirty names?
I know you do.
Hello Camp will be making it's 9th appearance on the playa this year.
There is no set time or day to give out name badges... just find Admiral Painjoy and ask him for a few sheets of
name badges and a quick lesson on how to attack... errr... approach people, and you're on your way to having
some superhappyfuncool times!



Fizz-Ball
Description forthcoming



Inappropriate Yoga Classes
Description forthcoming
JimHillas.Org                          Spanky's Village
                "We won't do anything to you that you won't beg for again tomorrow"