Spanky's Wine Bar
“We tried so hard to be adults, but just look at us... just fucking look!!!"
The Paddler
The monthly newsletter for Spanky's Wine Bar
The Paddler
January 2018
The Monthly Newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
(All the news that fits, we print)

In this issue
…which should be read while listening to this Bootie Mashup- “Here Comes the Light” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5ywBl2YA5Y

-        The Admiral’s Rave
-        A Year of Considerable Loss
-        Plans for SWB 2018
-        2018 Burning Man Tickets/Passes (The DGS)
-        The “Spankier Than Thou” game… just for fun
-        LoveBurn! (upcoming event January 26-28)
-        SWB Staph

ADMIRAL’S RAVE
Looking back on what we did last year, all I can say is, Wow… we “knocked it out of the park”!  Our 10th Anniversary was fantastic.  My
thanks go out to everyone.  

The Devil Lives in the Details:
I specifically want to thank Elisha (Mafesto), who created our beautiful, 10th Anniversary namebadges (as I forgot to mention her
herculean efforts during my opening speech on the playa).  Most of you would be surprised at how much effort goes into the details of
Spanky’s (details like a seemingly-simple namebadge).  Being that a standard work-week is 40 hours, how many hours would you
guess goes into the namebadges?  20?  40?  100?  Nope.  Between the conceptualizing, graphic design work, collection of data and
photos, templating and layout, cross-checking, printing and laminating, trimming, adding clasps, shipping, insertion into welcome packs,
and distribution… the namebadge project for 300ish people takes upwards of 200 man/hours (and this work is done in July/Aug… when
we’re all scrambling to get our shit together for the playa).  So the next time you see Mafesto, give her a hug and a Spanky’s High-Five ;)

And the namebadges are but one small detail that made up the dozens and dozens of memorable details in our village this year.  
Everybody who helped create the best Spanky’s yet should give themselves a big pat-on-the-back.  What started as an idea in my twisted
mind, back in 2007 has evolved into a renowned, beloved Burning Man institution.  Thank you all for making my kinky-dream into a
fantastic reality!

Our SWB events filled the BASS to capacity and kicked ass this past year.  I recall, during Spank-dat-Bootie, it was a wind-less night… but
SWB was a huge dust storm, unto itself, from all the dust that was kicked up from all the dancing!  The Festival of Bubastis was a rager
too.  Did anyone else see that pink-pantied-pervert being forced to do unspeakable things on the center stage?  Wild.


A YEAR OF CONSIDERABLE LOSS
Sadly though, 2016/2017 was also a year of mourning for our village.  Homage was paid to many of our fallen playa-compatriots and
family members.  Most notably, fellow Spanker Mungo, our friend Ranger Bourbon, my Step Dad (SWB accountant), and Alex Steneck
(PlayaQ founder, Soss Boss).  The PlayaQ camp came back together to honor Alex with one final Rock Star Dinner, one final Carne
Armada attack, and massive food give-aways.  Thanks to all who worked on the food, the infrastructure, and those events.   The Bman
Founders and other members of First Camp are still singing the praises of PlayaQ and The Carne Armada!  And personally, I have never
seen the PlayaQ do a better, more elaborate Rock Star Dinner.  All hail the Q!  (and fuck you, Soss Boss ;)  Even in death, you’re still
creating new friendships – and making us work our asses off!)  

And, as most of you saw on FB, we lost our dear friend (and Spanker) Sheri LaFurge last month.  Sheri finally succumb to cancer.  Sheri’s
cousin, Lady Victoria, will be organizing a service for Sheri at The Temple this year.  Our hearts are aching.


PLANS FOR SWB 2018
Many rumors have been floating about.  I know this because I started quite a few of them ;)
Two camps (Nothing Camp & Spanky’s) is no longer an option… too hard to get enough Bman tix for Nothing Camp.
So here’s the final game-plan for SWB 2018…

Our 10th Anniversary endeavors yielded more than I’d hoped for in 2017, but it was also a technically difficult and physically laborsome
undertaking for most of us.  Most of us were utterly exhausted by the end.  So this year, we will return to our roots.  We are going to scale-
back in 2018.  I’m sure you’ll all agree that we’ve earned a break in 2018.  We need to shrug the yoke of oppressive responsibility this
year.  Therefore, I will be leading a very simple version of Spanky’s this summer (similar to “Spanky’s Mini-Bar” in 2011).

We will request to be a “placed village”, as usual.  We will still have our BASS, our bar, a small sound-system, and a couple of kink toys.  
We will have our existing power grid (not the huge one from last year), one generator (not four), one rental truck (not four), and a shower.  
We will be doing what we do best.  We’ll be an eclectic, fun, kinky bar.  There will be no set “work-shift” schedule.  There will be no
appetizer program.  No camp kitchen/sanctuary.  No DJ booth.  No kink tent.  No Tunnel of Glove.  Early build and break-down/mooping
will be a breeze (compared to recent years).  Camp dues will go down a bit.  Labor requirements will also go down.  And there will be no
senior-management team… just me.

But that is NOT to say that 2018 will be a lazy free-for-all.  We are not “resting on our laurels”… just scaling back.  There WILL still be work
to do.  There will be project leaders (just not senior management).  Spanky’s will still be entertaining, wine-ing, and abusing the masses
;)  We will all still abide the core values of Spanky’s and Burning Man.  And everyone will still need to “sign up” and pay camp dues.

Sub-camps within Spanky’s are still welcomed to be a part of the village.  They can have some limited power, from the grid.  But aside
from that, they will be completely self-sufficient… doing their own set-up, staffing, break-down, and MOOPing.

P.S. – Don’t get complacent this year… I have grandiose plans for SWB2019!  ;)


2018 BURNING MAN TICKETS/PASSES (THE DGS)
Burning Man Tickets/Passes go on sale soon.   Every year, some of you screw up in the ticket sales.  I’m not sure if you’re ignorant or
apathetic… frankly, I don’t know and I don’t care ;)
Point is… READ ALL THE INFO!  I’m not bailing people out this year.  Fail to prepare = prepare to fail

IMPORTANT TICKET INFO…
1-        You MUST update your Burner Profile (on the Bman website) in order to buy tix in ANY sale.  Do it now, so you don’t forget.  https:
//profiles.burningman.org/
2-        DGS (Directed Group Sale) tickets will probably be available to Spanker’s again this year.  They are reserved for those who are
important to the creation of Spanky’s, running Spanky’s during Bman, breaking-down and MOOPing the village at the end, attending
work/party weekends, etc.
3-        SWB will be applying for DGS tickets/passes (no guarantees that we get them, or how many)
4-        If you want to buy a DGS ticket/pass through Spanky’s, you will need to let me know ASAP… between now and February 12th, via
email: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com  
5-        You can buy up to 2 tickets and 1 car pass in the DGS.  I will be pairing-up those who aren’t paired-up already, as usual, so that
DGS tix don’t go to waste.  If you’re buying 2 tickets, let me know who the 2nd one is for.  Also, let me know if you need a vehicle pass.
6-        Tickets in the DGS (and Main Sale) cost $425.00.  Vehicle passes cost $80.00
7-        You DON’T need to register with Bman for DGS tickets… I (Admiral Painjoy) register you for the DGS with Bman.  (You do need to
register for Bman tix in the Pre Sale and the Main Sale though.)
8-        To get a DGS ticket, you must have already signed up to camp with Spanky’s, on the SWB website:  www.spankyswinebar.com  Go
to the “Sign Up” page.
9-        And priority on DGS tickets goes to those who have already paid Camp Dues

The three other ticket sales that concern us soon are:
1-        The Pre-Sale (Registration is Jan 24-26 – The Sale Date is Jan 31st).  These are the super-expensive tickets that help fund Bman
stuff ($990.00 or $1200.00 each).  If you can afford these… great.  You’re helping Bman and easing the ticket-burden for SWB.
2-        The Main Sale (Registration is March 21 – 23 – The Sale Date is March 28th).  
3-        The Low Income Ticket Program (Registration is Feb 14th – April 16th)
PLEASE READ all the info about Bman ticket sales here:  https://tickets.burningman.org/


THE “SPANKIER THAN THOU” GAME… JUST FOR FUN
No need to reply with results.  This is just for fun.  (Taken from the SWB FB page)… LOL
(one point for each “yes” answer)
___  I have camped with SWB for more than 5 years
___  I have attended Juplaya with SWB
___  I know the correct response to, “Your heart may belong to the man….. “
___  I have been a guest at 3 (or more) other Spankers homes, in the default world
___  I have (at least) one piece of Lucky Bastard’s art on my wall at home
___  I have been to work/party weekends at all 3 Skunkworks… Joey’s, Donny’s, AND Liam’s
___  I know eLeM’s real last name AND how to spell it
___  I have ridden the Orgasmator (for males, I have helped build or break-down the Orgasmator)
___  I camped at the conGLOMerate village (the precursor village to SWB)
___  I have helped set up the BASS
___  I have been fondled (or fondled somebody else) at the Groping Booth (or Tunnel of Glove)
___  I have DJ’d at Spanky’s
___  I have been an eyewitness to an APJ orgasm
___  I have administered spankings with the Spank-O-Matic
___  I have ridden the Teeter Totter of Death AND the Chairway to Heaven tower
___  I have helped APJ with SWB paperwork or SWB projects at his house
___  I have been shackled to the bondage wall at SWB
___  I have danced on one of the SWB stages
___  I have been one of the first 12 Spankers on-playa for Early Build
___  I have been one of the last 12 Spankers on-playa for Break-down and MOOPing
___  I have (or have had) an SWB bumper-sticker on my vehicle
___  I have received a compliment (or other positive feedback) from Mayor Joey
___  I have been an SWB driver (drove an SWB truck… or left the playa to run an SWB errand)
___  I have given an honest description of SWB to my default-world biological family
___  I have served as Camp Bitch at SWB
___  I have argued with Major-D
___  I have had sex with a fellow Spanker, and loved it
___  I have had sex with a fellow Spanker, and regretted it
___  I have ridden on (at least) one of SWB’s art cars
___  I have been on an SWB art car when it broke-down on the playa
___  I have participated in a Carne Armada attack
___  I have given somebody a “Spanky’s High-Five”… off-playa
___  I have dog-eared a copy of the What/Where/When guide, to mark SWB events
___  I have had a full-blown “playa meltdown” at SWB
___  I have helped a fellow Spanker get through a “playa meltdown”
___  I have done an ice-run for SWB
___  I have helped to create art-work for SWB (artistic painting, graphic-design, swag, etc.)
___  I own sex toys that I consider “too nice to bring to Spanky’s”
___  There is a picture of me on the internet wearing an SWB medallion/necklace
___  I feel that “butt plug” is an acceptable answer to most questions
___  I have been personally mentioned in an issue of The Paddler
___  My picture (or my art/project) is on the SWB website
___  I know the two foods that APJ doesn’t like
___  I know two of the foods that Lucky Bastard does like
___  I sometimes think of a fellow Spanker when I masturbate
___  More than half of my current friends are Spankers
___  I have more pics of Spankers on my computer (FB included) than my biological family
___  I can recite (at least) 3 of SWB’s mottos from memory
___  I have had a problem solved for me by either Naked Larry, Gunny, or Fergus
___  I know what Painjoy’s title was before he was “Admiral”


LOVE BURN!
Love Burn is the Florida Regional Burning Man Event.  It’s coming up VERY soon, but it’s not too late to get tix and go!  I believe that
Scooter still has some tix available:  samedaysignssouth@gmail.com or you can get them through the LoveBurn website:
https://theloveburn.com/
Love Burn was created by (and is run by) Spankers Quantum Glen & Prosperity Angel.  It’s held on an island just off Miami.  It’s amazing.  
Myself and other Spankers will be there (but we’re not creating Spanky’s Wine Bar there).  However, Scooter sets up The Buffer Zone
there (this year it will be a full-on spa!)


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – Camp Engineer
dougl@fed-specs.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee
lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Burning Man Ticket Maven
ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Master Fucking Amazing (aka Liam) – Lead Builder
wmsmith1962@yahoo.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Nima – Bar Managers
rachel.hundley@gmail.com
nimashemirani@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD
srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird – RV Services Manager (with Amethyst)
mwharri01@gmail.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
lightupwire@gmail.com
Scooter – BufferZone Manager & SWB Marketing Director
samedaysignssouth@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler

February 2018 – Directed Ticket Edition
(We won’t do anything to you today… that you won’t beg for again tomorrow)

Special issue…
…which should be read while listening to this hauntingly beautiful cover of- “Creep” (Radiohead), by Julia Westlin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSxi-1Oz1aw

2018 BURNING MAN TICKETS/PASSES (THE DGS)
The DGS (Directed Group Sale) of Bman Tickets (aka Directed Tickets) will be happening VERY soon.  I have been compiling a list of
Spankers who are interested in being considered for these tickets.  The absolute deadline for signing up for DGS tix is Thursday.  
Then this list will be submitted to the Bman Org.  The Actual DGS “SALE” will begin on Wednesday, February 28.

For those who don’t know, “Directed Tickets” are tickets to Burning Man that are allocated to theme camps (and villages), art cars, and
art projects… but not just any theme camps, etc.  They are only offered to those that have a great track-record at Bman (and a good
moop rating).  And these Directed Tix are reserved for key members of the camp/village.  Those people without whom, the camp
wouldn’t be able to be built/function.  As in past years, the Bman Org. has allocated a healthy amount of DGS tickets to Spanky’s… yay!

If you (and/or your partner, friend, wife, husband, mate, b/f, g/f, slave, master, mistress, etc.) want to be considered for Directed Tix to
Bman, let me know NOW!  Keep in mind the following;
READ ALL OF THIS!!!
1-        You must email me (if you haven’t already) to let me know that you want to be considered for a DGS ticket: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.
com
2-        You need to sign-up on the Spanky’s website to be considered for a Spanky’s DGS ticket www.spankyswinebar.com
3-        You must have an up-to-date “burner profile” on the Bman website.  I won’t be able to enter you into the DGS sale if you don’t do
this!  https://profiles.burningman.org/
4-        You must also have an up-to-date account with “Ticketfly” (the Bman ticket vendor).  
http://www.ticketfly.com/
5-        All DGS ticket purchasers must also pay camp dues.  You don’t have to pay dues now… but if we don’t have enough DGS tix, I
give preference to those kick-ass Spankers who have already paid camp dues.  http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html
6-        Asking for a Directed Ticket doesn’t guarantee you will get one.  Directed Tickets are for members of Spanky’s who are
committed to working hard to make our village a success!  But if you DON’T ask me for one by this coming Thursday… you’ll surely
miss the boat.
7-        If you aren’t going to camp at Spanky’s Village, you can’t buy a Spanky’s DGS ticket.
8-        You need to be able to pay for the Bman tickets (and car passes) at the time of the sale.  The DGS begins on Wednesday, Feb.
28th.
9-        Tickets cost $425.00 (plus tax, fees, etc).  Car passes are still $80.00 each.  Make sure you have enough money available on
your credit/debit card to make the purchase!
10-        DGS tickets are offered in pairs.  If you are not purchasing two (one for you, and one for your mate), you will be partnered-up
with another Spanker.  We do this so that we can maximize the number of Directed Tix we get each year.
11-        When Spankers are “paired-up”, one of the pair will purchase the 2 tickets and 1 car pass (the purchaser), and the other (the
partner) will pay the purchaser for their ticket
12-        The “purchaser” can only buy 2 tix and 1 car pass.  This often causes a problem- not enough car passes.  Don’t worry.  We
always get our hands on enough car passes for everyone come summertime.  Every purchaser must buy a car pass (if you don’t need
it, another Spanker will buy it from you).  We need all the car passes we can get our hands on.
13-        If you buy a Directed Ticket through SWB, then decide later that you can’t go to Bman… your ticket MUST be sold to another
Spanker.  Directed Tix HAVE TO BE USED BY THE CAMP TO WHICH THEY WERE ALLOCATED!  Selling your Directed Ticket to
somebody outside of Spanky’s runs the SERIOUS risk of having ALL of Spanky’s Directed tix VOIDED by Bman!  No Shit.  For Realz.  
Not even kidding.
14-        Each year, we have some important Spankers who are “cash poor” at this time of year (seasonal income, tax season, etc), but
always have money in April/May/June.  With that in mind, we are looking for Spankers who can purchase a spare DGS ticket and hang
on to it, until those (presently) cash-poor Spankers can buy the ticket from you.  Please email me if you’re in a position to do this for us.
15-        If you’re selected for the Spanky’s DGS… I will be submitting your name to “Bman Ticketing”.  Then Bman Tickketing will
contact you by email, a few days later, with the final info about the DGS.  Be sure to check the email inbox from the email address that
you used in your Bman “Burner Profile”!
More info about ALL Bman ticket sales here:  https://tickets.burningman.org/

COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE… Further info and clarification about what Spanky’s Village will be this year.  It’s going to be fan-freakin-
tastic.  Trust your Admiral.  He is good.  He is wise.  ;)
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
February 2018 – Part 2
(We would love to serve you… but we’re all tied up right now)

In this issue…
…which should be read while listening to Moby’s remix of OMD’s “Souvenir”:
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHJLX_hctsg

LAST CHANCE TO REQUEST TICKETS IN THE DGS
FURTHER CLARIFICATION ON WHAT SPANKY’S VILLAGE WILL BE THIS YEAR
SWB STAPH
***********************  

LAST CHANCE TO REQUESST TICKETS IN THE DGS
Tomorrow is the deadline Spankers!  If you want to get guaranteed Bman tix, and you’re willing to be a productive member of the village, ya
gotta lemme know… NOW.

The last issue of The Paddler lists the steps you need to take… and explains the DGS.  Click this link and scroll down to the February
“Directed Ticket Edition” of The Paddler:
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html


FURTHER CLARIFICATION ON WHAT SPANKY’S VILLAGE WILL BE THIS YEAR…
After the January Paddler, some people panicked a bit… don’t worry… read on…
        We will still be a placed Theme Camp and Village this year.  But after 10 years, culminating in last years HUGE 10 year anniversary…
Admiral Painjoy needs a bit of a break this year.  So we’re scaling back on some things.
        We will have our original/existing power grid.  See the SWB website (infrastructure page) for more info on power limitations.
        Dragger, Blackbird, and Amethyst plan on organizing additional power for RVs (at extra cost – and separate from Spanky’s power
grid), for those power-hungry brats that need it… or even just want it… sissies ;)  More details on that on the SWB website also.  (Pricing
coming soon)
        Blackbird and Amethyst will still be organizing RV pump-outs and water refills as usual
        We will have a camp shower
        We will have big shade, and our bar, and music (only one bar… and the sound system will be smaller and simpler).
        We will have kink toys… just not ALL of them.  We will have the bondage wall, Spank-O-Matic (rumors abound about a new one, built
by Sky)… maybe more if we can fit them into the truck)
        We will only have one Big-Ass Rental Truck this year… not two… not three.  We want Spanky’s to be easier to set-up and break-down
this year.  So we will be cutting back on the number of structures we bring/build
        There will be no set work-shift schedule this year.  Honor system.  But everyone is still expected to help out with stuff.  
        Everyone is still required (at the end of the week) to help with break-down and MOOP on Sunday/Monday
        Eve will be creating a small kitchen this year… but not nearly as big as last year.  More info on that coming soon.
        We will be cutting back on some of the extras this year (no big welcome packs and complicated placement system, no t-shirts or
medallions or bumper stickers, shortened camp meeting, no namebadges, etc.)   These things are all great… but they consume massive
amounts of my time (and others).  I need a break this year.  We will get back to all those things next year.
        This year, our big shade/bar area will be more like it was in early years.  Here’s what I mean…  

In the early years of Spanky’s, the Big Ass Shade Structure (BASS) was our camp/village’s community space… our kinky living room (if you
will), with a bar, toys, and music.  We would all hang out there (in the shade and breeze) during the day… nurse hangovers, have food and
drinks, tell stories, listen to Morning Painjoy Radio, goof off, have contests, etc.  It was laid back and fun.   At night, we’d turn on the lights,
turn the music a little louder, dance and party, play games, pump up the kink, etc.  

Of course, all burners were welcome in our community space.  But back then, it was like we were sharing OUR space with the citizens of
Black Rock City.  “Welcome to Spanky’s… this is our camp… come join us, want a drink?”… was the vibe.  We would invite passing Burners
into OUR space.  And Spanky’s became a very popular/famous place for Burners to hang out… with Spankers.  This is how we grew our
brand.

Over the years, our BASS and Wine Bar have lost a bit of that vibe.  We now throw BIG parties.  We have BIG events.  We host hot DJs.  It’s
usually pretty loud and raucous.  It’s every night (and many days too).  And it takes a lot of work, planning, money, security, equipment,
supervision, etc. to pull it off.  Don’t get me wrong… this isn’t a bad thing.  I love the big parties.  But we’re starting to lose something…

In recent years, the bar and BASS area has started becoming a place for Burners, where we (Spankers) serve and cater to them… it’s slowly
becoming their space… not OUR shared space.  Spanky’s is becoming a venue.

Nowadays, many Spankers only go to the bar/BASS area when it’s their turn to do their workshifts.  When they want to hang-out, drink, enjoy
themselves, etc., they go to their RV with friends, or Blackbird’s Lair, or my camping area, or, or, or… but they don’t hang out at the BASS/Bar.  
Too hectic, too loud, too chaotic, too many strangers.

This year I’d like to show you all a bit of how it used to be… a glimpse into how it began… and how much fun it is to have our camp be “our
camp”.  You’ll experience more organic events and happenings.  You’ll get to know more Spankers.  You’ll feel a stronger sense of Spanky’s
community, family, and love.  And you’ll be able to meet and interact in a more meaningful way with the Burners that visit Spanky’s.  

And we will still have a couple big events this year.  I know Dragger and Lazer will be hosting The Great Canadian Beaver Eating Contest
again this year… yay!  Lazer will be doing the Electro-Swing Party.  I’ll ask Adrian about doing a slightly more low-key “renegade” MashUp
party (aka Spank Dat Bootie).  But as for the rest of it… well… that’s up to you… to us.  If you have an idea for a fun event, contest, game, etc.
this year, guess what?  The schedule is pretty damn open.  Contact me.  We’ll chat about it.  It’s your camp!  Be part of the creative process.
~Admiral Painjoy~

SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)… knows stuff
  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
  dougl@fed-specs.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee
  lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven
  ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Master Fucking Amazing (aka Liam) – Builds stuff
  wmsmith1962@yahoo.com
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
  agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
  john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, and stuff like that
  ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
  crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp – Bar Managers and lushes
  rachel.hundley@gmail.com
  tripp3857@comcast.net
Dirty Dan – DJ… weirdo
  djdirtydan@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
  srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
  mwharri01@gmail.com
  izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
  lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
April 2018
“Most welcome bondage, thou art, me thinks, a way to liberty”  
William Shakespeare –Cymbeline – Act 5, Scene 4

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: Ya Hey! by Vampire Weekend (Covered by Phosphorescent):  https://www.
youtube.com/watch?v=xZMcbVAxDm8

        WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
        CAMP DUES
        BMAN TICKET INFO
        RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER – if you don’t read this, you’ll die! (if you do read this, you’ll    still die… you should come to
terms with the fact that you’re mortal, and some day… you’ll die.)
        EARLY-BUILD – WORK ACCESS PASSES
        MOOP
        SWB STAPH
***********************  
WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our Work/Party Weekends.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  We will be having 2
or 3 work/party weekends at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka The Skunkworks… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden
Valley, CA 95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many
hands make light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake,
a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property
with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.

SCHEDULE:
1-        The first one is tentatively scheduled for May 18-20 (Thursday-Sunday)… formal announcement/confirmation will be made soon.
2-        The second one will be August 17-20 (Friday-Monday) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sunday/Monday)… then depart
for the playa on Wednesday for Early-Build.
3-        The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the
truck, re-organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the
most fun, and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!

AIRPORT/BARDELLO WORK WEEKENDS
Many of you have noticed that Liam and Donna have been hosting “non-Spanky’s” work weekends as well.  Here’s the story regarding
that;
Liam is working on getting the contract to build a large part of the Burning Man Airport this year (structures, power, a/c, etc).  He and
Donna have a crew that are gearing up for this.  And since the airport is out near the trash fence at Bman (and they will need to maintain
the structures/equipment during the event) they are planning on building a camp out near the airport as well.
These “airport work weekends” are not related to Spanky’s work weekends, but of course, Spankers are welcomed to come help, if so
inclined.

CAMP DUES
Please pay your camp dues ASAP, if you haven’t already.  This is the time of year when we pay for some of the big-ticket items like
generators, rental trucks, construction supplies, etc.  Dues can be paid on the SWB website or you can mail a check.  More info here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html

BMAN TICKET INFO
Still don’t have a Bman ticket?  I may be able to help.  (See the Bman website for more info on tickets, deadlines, and definitions) https:
//tickets.burningman.org/
The DGS ticket sale and the Main Sale are now done.  But all hope is not lost…
1-        You can still purchase the “Limited $1200.00” tickets, directly from Bman, if you’re able to afford them.  
2-        Low Income Tickets are still available (if you qualify).  The deadline for application is April 16th
3-        There is one more general ticket sale in July/August called the “OMG Last Chance” sale
4-        STEP is opening April 25th (Bman’s Secure Ticket Exchange Program)
5-        There may be another DGS ticket sale in the summer for SWB
6-        Spanky’s still has a few DGS tickets available from the first sale, but these are special tickets and are only for certain Spankers…  
•        There are Spankers who qualify for DGS tickets that didn’t have money (or weren’t yet signed-up in Jan/Feb, when the sale
happened).  So a few Spankers graciously purchased a spare ticket for those who weren’t ready.
•        DGS tickets are ONLY for Spankers that are truly committed to helping to build, run, break-down, and MOOP.  Hard workers!
•        DGS tickets are for Spankers ONLY!  You may not camp elsewhere if you purchase a DGS ticket
•        DGS tickets can’t be re-sold outside of SWB.  If for some reason you decide to not go to Bman (or camp elsewhere), your DGS ticket
MUST be sold back to a Spanker-in-need of a ticket
•        Contact me (Admiral Painjoy) if you want to purchase one of these spare DGS tickets: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER
RV Pumping and Fresh Water Re-Fills:
(prices should be close to the same as last year – exact prices coming in next issue)

Mark H (aka Blackbird) and Rod H (his trusty partner, Amethyst) are the Spankers who coordinate the RV pumpings, fresh-water refills,
and dedicated RV Power.  The cut-off date for securing/paying for these services is a couple months out… but these services MUST be
paid in advance.

These services are provided by vendors, for a fee (“United Site Services” does the pump outs – “YoYo Water Supply” does the water
refills, “cAMP-power” does the dedicated RV electricity).  These fees are collected well in advance of Bman.
Pump-outs and fresh-water refill costs will be posted in the next Paddler.  Dedicated RV electric costs vary according to your needs (see
below).

If you are in an RV at Bman, getting these services is a VERY good idea.  It’s really hard to get through the week without at least one
pump-out and water refill, especially if you have more than one person in your RV, or if you’re on-playa for more than seven days.

Email Blackbird now if you need these RV services on the playa:  mwharri01@gmail.com
You will need to know the day(s) you want pumpings/refills, and the approx. size of your holding tanks.  He will give you more info on how
the process works.  You can pay by check or PayPal.

RV Power in SWB:
We do have power in Spanky’s Village, but the primary reason for this is running our bar, sound system, lighting, our many attractions,
sub-camps, etc.  But we will have limited power available for a limited number of RVs, yurts, and tents.  But there are restrictions and
limitations (i.e. not enough power for running your A/C).  Please refer to the website for more details:  http://www.jimhillas.
org/infrastructure.html


Here’s more info (from Dragger) about electrical power options in Spanky’s:
RV "cAMP power" 2018

Option 1:  Camp in the SWB “general camping area” and share 15Amp circuits — fine for charging your cell phone, batteries, (and on
most RVs), powering lights, and other misc. small things (but not Air Conditioners)…. And 100% gluten-free!

Option 2:  Run your own RVs onboard-generator (if it has one) when you want to use the A/C, microwave, or other high-power items

Option 3: Buy dedicated power
For RVs in the "cAMP-power" area, you will have two RV options, which are similar to what you find in an RV park:

A.      30Amp service for $450.00, good for one Air Conditioner RVs (actually a single-pole 30A circuit breaker dedicated to your RV and
appropriate cords and adapters to connect to your RV).
B.     50Amp service for $650.00, good for two Air Conditioner RVs (actually a double-pole, 30A or 50A circuit breaker dedicated to your RV
and appropriate cords and adapters to connect to your RV).

What you need to know about LOLA power:
1.      No guarantees.  This is Burning Man and we spend lots of money just to try to get this together at 4000’ elevation, in high
temperatures, wind, and dust.  You know this, so what you pay for is our best efforts to deliver this power to you—no refunds.  In EVERY
year, we have problems with our generators and most of the time, we are able to fix them.
2.     We plan to operate 18 hours per day, but that may be significantly more or less, depending on what happens (remember, it IS
Burning Man)
3.     Payment must be made in full when you make Pump-Out and Water commitments through Blackbird (the SWB RV-Services
Coordinator)
4.   NOTE: If you sign-up for RV power, you will be placed/camped in the "cAPM power" area, near camp Lola —we don’t plan to run RV
power cables throughout all of Spanky's Village... far too expensive.
5     Questions?  Contact Blackbird at mwharri01@gmail.com.  If he can't answer your question, he'll forward it to me.
~Dragger~   


EARLY BUILD (WORK ACCESS PASSES)
These were called Early Arrival Passes (EAPs) in past years; now they are called Work Access Passes (WAPs).  

The gates to Bman don’t officially open until Sunday, Aug. 26th, but…

Every year, Spanky’s gets a limited number of WAPs from the Bman Org.  You can’t get into Bman before Aug 26th without a WAP.  These
WAPs are for people who want to come early and help build Spanky’s.  I don’t know how many we will be getting this year.  I won’t know
until July… but if you’re interested, and need to know soon, for logistical reasons (booking flights, renting RVs, etc), you can request a
WAP now.

“Early Build” is an honor, and a lot of work… and lots of fun too.  It’s pretty cool being on the playa and watching the city being built.  After
the final pre-burn work/party weekend, we will be loading the big-ass truck on Monday, Aug 20th, then departing The Kinky Mountain
Farm on Wednesday morning, Aug 22nd.  On Wednesday night, we hit the playa running…and we work and build and organize and
decorate and, and, and… until it’s done.  If we have everything built in time (Saturday), we will host a “soft opening party” on Saturday
night, to “work out the kinks” for Bman’s opening the following day.

I select “Early Arrivals” based on a few factors:
1-        Your past track record with SWB
2-        How early can you arrive?  Helping us load and driving out will us nearly assures you a WAP.   (Arriving on Friday or Saturday, just
before Bman opens, isn’t much help)
3-        Your skill set… how handy are you?  Construction skills are great, but we need all types of people to do a multitude of tasks
4-        You are a sexy young female, willing to make all of APJs fantasies come true ;)


MOOP
MOOP (Matter Out Of Place, for you newbies) is the Burning Man term for trash, litter, and well, frankly anything that doesn’t naturally
belong on the playa (i.e. dust, tiny rocks, and the corpses of our enemies).  Playa Restoration and the Placement Team just sent an
email to Christopher Robbin and I, congratulating us on our improved MOOP rating in 2017… so yay!  Good job Spankers!  But there is
still room for improvement in 2018.  So please, take the time to read this:
https://burningman.org/event/preparation/leaving-no-trace/ (click on each bullet point/link at the right side of the webpage, and read away!)


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)… knows stuff
   jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
   dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
   lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
   agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
   john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
   ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
   crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
   rachel.hundley@gmail.com
   tripp3857@comcast.net
   rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak
   djdirtydan@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
   srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
   mwharri01@gmail.com
   izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
   lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
May 2018
“I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation… but never missed it.”   ~Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: Tom Lehrer’s The Masochism Tango: https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=TytGOeiW0aE

        A NOTE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
        WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS (SCHEDULE CHANGE – PLUS VEGAS BABY!)
        CAMP DUES
        DGS BURNING MAN TICKETS (they’re special!)
        RV SERVICES
        SWB STAPH
***********************  

A NOTE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
Bonjour Spankers!
Sorry for any delays in responses to any of you.  Suddenly, I’m swamped with real-world work.  I’m currently in Pennsylvania helping my
Mom get her house ready for sale.  Poor cell signal here… and WiFi problems too.  So I’m at Starbucks now… I’m white, so I probably
won’t get kicked out ;)

I’m doing a short version (lol) of The Paddler today, because I’m pressed for time.  But please know, I have been receiving your Bman
ticket requests and your inquiries regarding other matters.  I’ll be back home (and in my office) later this week, and will get back to all of
you then.

Again, sorry for the delays.

WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
SCHEDULE CHANGE!!!

Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our Work/Party Weekends.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  We will be having 3
work/party weekends at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka The Skunkworks… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley,
CA 95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands
make light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake,
a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property
with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.

SCHEDULE:
The May 18-20th work/party weekend at Liam & Donna’s has been postponed… APJ has a work conflict.   It is now scheduled for June
29th-July 1st (Fri-Sun)
    HOWEVER – Dragger will be hosting an SWB (& Lola) work/party weekend at the end of this
    Month (Memorial Day weekend… in Vegas baby!)  Here are the details from Dragger:
Work party 25-28 May 2018 – Las Vegas
LOLA/SWB/Peculiar Children – Attend for all or part of the event…

Venue
Dragger’s RV (LOLA) is parked at a farm in Pahrump, NV (an hour-fifteen from Vegas) with 20 chickens, 3 geese (one sitting on an egg),
20 sheep, a goat, 15 pigs (not counting Dragger) 6 horses and some dogs.  Warehouse about 5 miles away is where the work will occur.  

Locations: (text Dragger to find out where they’re currently working upon your arrival 410.353.4976) –
Dragger’s warehouse – 931 Fehrs Way  Pahrump, NV 89060 (Across Hwy 160 from First Souther Baptist Church)
Dragger’s farm – 1311 Mae Road, Pahrump, NV  89060

MAYBE Dragger can assist with air travel.

Friday
Meet up when you can

Saturday
Work our asses off sorting mostly burn stuff, convincing Dragger to part with Burn projects he has coveted for 5 years or more, building
bike racks, rebuilding structures, electrical component layout and refurb (for those of the electrical persuasion) assessing need for new
poles for structures, making runs to Goodwill and the dump.  
Late afternoon:  Load up in the Big Pink bus or its larger cousin if needed and be driven to and around Vegas for debauchery, maybe a
show, sushi and general fun.  Back by midnight to 2PM in Pahrump.  

Sunday
More work at the warehouse.
Evening:  Fresh lamb barbeque at the farm cooked by JC and Tom in LOLA’s yard

Monday AM
Move LOLA into warehouse
Depart

OTHER WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
The next one will be August 17-20 (Fri-Mon) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sun/Mon)… then depart for the playa on
Wednesday for Early-Build.
The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the truck, re-
organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the most fun, and
a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


CAMP DUES
Please pay your camp dues ASAP, if you haven’t already.  This is the time of year when we pay for some of the big-ticket items like
generators, rental trucks, construction supplies, etc.  Dues can be paid on the SWB website or you can mail a check.  More info here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html


DGS BURNING MAN TICKETS – (THEY’RE SPECIAL)
This is mostly for the virgins and newer Burners…
DGS Tickets (Directed Group Sale ticket) are not ordinary Burning Man tickets… they are special… and they are not for everyone.  Here’s a
bit of Bman history;

In 2011, Bman “sold out” (during the Main Sale) for the first time in its history.  When this happened, the Bman Org. was blind-sided by a
serious problem.  As most of you know, Burning Man isn’t like most events/festivals.  Bman is created by those who attend.  

When the event “sold out”, the organizers soon found out that many of the “key people” didn’t get tickets!  Without these key people (who
create art, volunteer to create infrastructure, build/run theme camps, etc), Bman wasn’t going to happen in 2011!!!  And this was the birth-
point of the DGS.

Thankfully, Bman had a few thousand tickets remaining for a second “Last Chance” sale of Bman tickets in 2011.  They made a decision
to sell all of these remaining tickets to those key people.  They called these “Directed Tickets”.  And thus… Bman 2011 was saved.

Every year since then, Bman has had a special tickets sale, called the Directed Group Sale (DGS), to ensure that the key players of the
Bman event are able to plan, build, create, volunteer, etc.  This is a great program.  It ensures that the event happens each year.  Bman
Org volunteers (like DPW, Center Camp, BRC Rangers, etc) are sure to get tix.  So are the builders of fantastic art projects and art cars.  
And so are Theme Camps/Villages… like Spanky’s.

Soooooo… here’s my point.  DGS tickets are special and they are for special Burners.  DGS tix are not a sneaky back-door way to get
Bman tickets.  DGS tix are for those who want to be part of something amazing and wonderful at Bman… and are willing to put in the work
to make that “something” happen.  In this case, it’s Spanky’s Wine Bar.

Since 2011, SWB has always been granted an ample amount of DGS tickets by the Bman Org.  This is because SWB is valued by the
Bman Org and the citizens of Black Rock City.  We work hard.  We do a good job.  We put on a good show.  We clean-up well at the end of
the event.

Those of you who have been asking for tickets… please realize that if you’re selected to purchase DGS tix, they come with a caveat.  You
are expected to help out in a meaningful way.  You are committing to helping build the camp, run the attractions of the camp, maintain the
infrastructure of the camp, break down the camp, and/or clean-up (MOOP) at the very end.  Also, those who are able, are expected to come
to work/party weekends before and after the event.

I will be making my selections this coming weekend for those who will get DGS tix.  Y’all will get emails with info about how to buy your
tickets… and who you’re buying them from.  If you don’t get selected for DGS, don’t fret.  There are still more options.  More on that in the
next issue of The Paddler.

RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER
(info below from Blackbird & Amethyst)
Hello my good Spankers, well it’s that time of year again to get your shit together.
If you have an RV and want your grey/black water pumped… if you want your potable water replenished and NEW this year we are offering
dedicated power for all you power hungry fuckers…
…this can be done, on the playa (at Burning Man)…
                                            ...but it has to be paid for in advance!

Amethyst a.k.a. Rod Hill will again be our beautiful on-site Service Manager to treat you well and will be escorting our vendors to service
your RV’s.

2018 SERVICE PRICES

$110 per pump out of grey/black water.
$1.75 per gallon for potable water fill-up.

Dedicated RV power for the week is our NEW service offered this year
$450 for 30Amp dedicated RV power, good for one Air Conditioner RV’s
$650 for 50Amp dedicated RV power, good for two Air Conditioner RV’s

From Amethyst: All on-site requests for unscheduled / non-prepaid pump-outs are up to you, to be around camp, find and solicit a Service
Technician (pump-out dude) who will accept your cash and gratuitous gifts to provide you service if they have capacity and time.  If you
need to add another pump-out to your existing order while on-site, Blackbird will accept your order and $110 cash. All other on-site pump-
out requests to SWB RV Services can happen if you seductively insist and ask Blackbird very, very nicely, he will accept your cash at the
shitty bargain price of $130 per pump-out to help support the camp budget. Remember, the benefit we provide for you dear RV Spankers
with pre-paid orders, you do not have to be around camp and at your RV to handle services yourself, and so you can enjoy more Burning
Man. Yay!!!

So here how it works:

1) Email Blackbird (Mark Harrison) at mwharri01@gmail.com with SWB RV SERVICES in the subject line if you want these shitty services.
  Orders are being taken now until June 20th.

Include in your email: (copy and paste as needed)
# number of pump-outs you’d like ____
# number of times you want water replenished ____
Date(s) you want a pump out
______________________________________________
Date(s) you want water replenished
 ______________________________________________
# gallon size capacity of your FRESH water tanks(s) _____
# gallon size capacity of your BLACK and GREY water tanks(s)   _____
~ which (if any) power you want _______Amp

2) Blackbird will confirm the total you owe for all services via email and send you an invoice.

3) Promptly send your payment for your invoice by PayPal or Check

Blackbird is set-up to take payments on PayPal with mwharri01@gmail.com
You can also mail a check payable to:          Mark Harrison
                                                                              4432 Bell St.
                                                                              KCMO 64111
Be sure to write SWB RV SERVICES in the subject line of check.

Collecting your payment for RV services starts immediately so payment to our vendors is completed by June 20th.

*** PLEASE DON’T DELAY! Operators are standing by***


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – zarkin’ frood
    Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
    dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
    lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
    agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
    john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
    ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
    crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
    rachel.hundley@gmail.com
    tripp3857@comcast.net
    rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
    djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
    srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
    mwharri01@gmail.com
    izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
    lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
June 2018
“There are no good girls gone bad… just bad girls found out”
~Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: Father Funk’s remix of Ray Charles’ “I got a woman”:  https://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=3H02jYkxSdk

        A NOTE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
        WORK/PARTY WEEKEND – June 29-July 1 (fri-sun)
        4th OF JUPLAYA!
        CAMP DUES
        BURNING MAN TICKETS
        2018 SWB CAMP EVENTS
        RV SERVICES
        SWB STAPH
***********************  

A NOTE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
First… a big THANK YOU to all those who traveled to Vegas to help with Dragger’s work/party weekend.  It looks like y’all got a lot
accomplished.  And the FB pics seem to show that a decent level of debauchery took place as well ;)  Info on the next work/party
weekend is below.

Also, this weekend marks the unofficial start to summer… yay!  Winter seemed like it wouldn’t end this year (fuckin’ Obama!)  So now is
the time to start getting organized for Burning Man (and Spanky’s!)  Go over the packing list… book your flights… reserve your post-burn
rooms… get your camping gear cleaned and organized… and please… wash those sex toys, dammit ;)  

SWB NEWBIES… make sure you’ve read all the info on the SWB website.  This is très important!  Plus the info in the past issues of
The Paddler.  And if you’re a total newbie to Bman… make sure to read this:  https://burningman.org/event/preparation/first-timers-
guide/


WORK/PARTY WEEKEND (June 29 – July 1) fri-sun
Send me an email if you’ll be attending:  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our “Work/Party Weekends”.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  Our remaining
work/party weekends will be at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley, CA
95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands
make light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a
lake, a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the
property with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.  Leave No Trace!

The next one will be August 17-20 (Fri-Mon) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sun/Mon)… then depart for the playa on
Wednesday for Early-Build.

The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the truck, re-
organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the most fun,
and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


4th OF JUPLAYA -  July 4-8 (wed-sun)
If you’ve never been to the playa when it isn’t Bman, this “non-event” is a real treat.  In my opinion, it’s just a good as Bman.  The vast,
stark, and romantic vastness of the Black Rock Desert is much more vivid and breathtaking when you’re not in the confines of the
Bman trash fence, surrounded by flashy theme camps, loud music, and huge structures.  

“4th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days.  You can drive fast (But be careful!  It’s easy to roll your vehicle
at high speed).  You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs.  You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc).  There
are some small theme camps and art cars.  Very few cops.  Lots of random parties.  Vast open space.  Cool burners.  

You can explore the outer reaches of the playa, the whole Black Rock Desert, High Rock Canyon, the emigrant trails, and Soldier
Meadows.  There’s usually a fireworks show put on by the town of Gerlach.  Those attending Juplaya tend to camp in small groups…
scattered ALL OVER the vast playa.  This makes for interesting party-hopping at night ;)

We will be setting up a very small version of Spanky’s there.  We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator fuel, etc.  
($50-ish per person)

If you want to join us for Juplaya, email me: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

We will probably head up to the playa on Wednesday morning, July 4th… and depart early on Sunday, July 8th.  But you can show up
any time.  Playa location TBD.



CAMP DUES
Please pay your camp dues ASAP, if you haven’t already.  This is the time of year when we pay for some of the big-ticket items like
generators, rental trucks, construction supplies, etc.  Dues can be paid on the SWB website or you can mail a check.  More info here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html


BMAN TICKETS
Let me remind everyone…
Every year so far, all Spankers who wanted Bman tickets… got them.
And another reminder…
Don’t try to buy tix on Craigslist, StubHub, or any other after-market source.  It’s almost always a scam.  Every year, some desperate
Spanker doesn’t heed my advice… and they lose a bunch of money.

I’m nearly finished allocating the first round of DGS tix.  If you still need a ticket, I haven’t forgotten about you (probably).  Those who still
need tix should have already entered STEP.   Also, we may have a second DGS (no guarantees, but they have given us a few more in
past years).  And the OMG Last Chance sale is coming up in July.  And I have an uncanny knack for finding tix.  And sometimes
Spankers bail out, and have to sell their tix.  So you see, there are still lots of options for finding tix.  Don’t panic.

One final thing…
I don’t mind busting my ass finding tix for Spankers.  But I only do that for Spankers who are enthusiastic about being part of the
camp/village.  Those who are willing to help build/run things/break-down/moop/etc.  
Spanky’s isn’t a way to get tix… it’s a way to enhance Bman (and a fine one, at that!)


CAMP EVENTS
We will be toning down the big events this year.  We’re going back to a more organic party scene at SWB, like in our early years.  This
means that we are kinda “reclaiming our party space” under the Big Ass Shade Structure (BASS).

We will be scheduling fewer “well known” DJs, and instead doing a lot of the DJing ourselves.  Everyone in SWB is welcomed to be a
DJ, and you don’t even need experience.  You merely need an iPod, iPhone, computer, or other MP3 player… and a playlist.  DJ Dirty
Dan or DJ Milk can show you how to properly use the system.  If you want to reserve a DJ time slot, send an email to djdirtydan@gmail.
com

If you’re interested in hosting an Event at SWB…. Great!  Just contact me and let me know your idea.  Our BASS area is a great venue
for themed parties, classes, workshops, and other events. NOTE: If you want your event listed in the Bman “WhatWhereWhen Guide”,
you need to let me know in the next two weeks!  Keep in mind, that if you say you’re running an event, you need to DO IT… don’t flake!

Right now, our only scheduled events are “Spank Dat Bootie” with DJ Adrian on Tuesday night (8pm-2am)… and Ryan (aka Lazer) will
be doing our annual “Electro-Swing Soire” on Thursday night.  Aside from that, the schedule is pretty clear.


RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER
(info below from Blackbird & Amethyst)

DEADLINE – June 20th!

Hello my good Spankers, well it’s that time of year again to get your shit together.
If you have an RV and want your grey/black water pumped… if you want your potable water replenished and NEW this year we are
offering dedicated power for all you power hungry fuckers…
…this can be done, on the playa (at Burning Man)…
                                             ...but it has to be paid for in advance!

Amethyst a.k.a. Rod Hill will again be our beautiful on-site Service Manager to treat you well and will be escorting our vendors to service
your RV’s.

2018 SERVICE PRICES

$110 per pump out of grey/black water.
$1.75 per gallon for potable water fill-up.

Dedicated RV power for the week is our NEW service offered this year
$450 for 30Amp dedicated RV power, good for one Air Conditioner RV’s
$650 for 50Amp dedicated RV power, good for two Air Conditioner RV’s

From Amethyst: All on-site requests for unscheduled / non-prepaid pump-outs are up to you, to be around camp, find and solicit a
Service Technician (pump-out dude) who will accept your cash and gratuitous gifts to provide you service if they have capacity and
time.  If you need to add another pump-out to your existing order while on-site, Blackbird will accept your order and $110 cash. All other
on-site pump-out requests to SWB RV Services can happen if you seductively insist and ask Blackbird very, very nicely, he will accept
your cash at the shitty bargain price of $130 per pump-out to help support the camp budget. Remember, the benefit we provide for you
dear RV Spankers with pre-paid orders, you do not have to be around camp and at your RV to handle services yourself, and so you can
enjoy more Burning Man. Yay!!!

So here how it works:

1) Email Blackbird (Mark Harrison) at mwharri01@gmail.com with SWB RV SERVICES in the subject line if you want these shitty
services.
Orders are being taken now until June 20th.

Include in your email: (copy and paste as needed)
# number of pump-outs you’d like ____
# number of times you want water replenished ____
Date(s) you want a pump out
 ______________________________________________
Date(s) you want water replenished
  ______________________________________________
# gallon size capacity of your FRESH water tanks(s) _____
# gallon size capacity of your BLACK and GREY water tanks(s)   _____
~ which (if any) power you want _______Amp

2) Blackbird will confirm the total you owe for all services via email and send you an invoice.

3) Promptly send your payment for your invoice by PayPal or Check

Blackbird is set-up to take payments on PayPal with mwharri01@gmail.com
You can also mail a check payable to:          
Mark Harrison
4432 Bell St.
Kansas City, MO 64111
Be sure to write SWB RV SERVICES in the subject line of check.

Collecting your payment for RV services starts immediately so payment to our vendors is completed by June 20th.

*** PLEASE DON’T DELAY! Operators are standing by***



SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – zarkin’ frood
     Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
     dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
     lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
     agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
     john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
     ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
     crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
     rachel.hundley@gmail.com
     tripp3857@comcast.net
     rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
     djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
     srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
     mwharri01@gmail.com
     izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
     lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
June 2018 – Part 2
“I used to be Snow White…but I drifted”
~yet another QUOTE… by Mae West~

In this MINI-issue……which should be read while listening to: Porter Robinson’s “Sea of Voices” https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=lSooYPG-5Rg

        REMINDER - WORK/PARTY WEEKEND – June 29-July 1 (fri-sun)
        4th OF JUPLAYA! – MORE DETAILS
        WHAT/WHERE/WHEN GUIDE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE

Welcome to summertime Spankers!  I’ll be “out west” starting at the end of this month.  I can’t wait to see a whole bunch of you!  
~Admiral Painjoy~

I’ll be at Liam & Donna’s (The Kinky Mountain Farm) for the work/party weekend (June 29th – July 1st).
Then I’ll be in the Reno area (July 2nd – July 3rd).  
Then at 4th of Juplaya in The Black Rock Desert (July 4th – 8th).  
Then back to Laim & Donna’s (July 8th – 9th)


WORK/PARTY WEEKEND (June 29 – July 1) fri-sun
Send me an email if you’ll be attending:  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our “Work/Party Weekends”.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  Our remaining
work/party weekends will be at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley, CA
95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands make
light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake,
a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property
with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.  Leave No Trace!

The next one (after the June one) will be August 17-20 (Fri-Mon) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sun/Mon)… then depart for
the playa on Wednesday for Early-Build.

The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the truck, re-
organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the most fun,
and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


4th OF JUPLAYA -  July 4-8 (wed-sun)… RSVP now!
I’m trying to get our final head-count, so let me know if you’re coming: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

Some Burners say that, “You’re not a real Burner if you’ve never been to the Black Rock Desert when it’s not Burning Man”.

Our SWB camping location will be at “The spot where they will build The Man” (weeks later).  And we’re limiting our camp-size to 40
people, so RSVP now.

To get there, you’ll drive through Gerlach (keeping right onto Hwy 34 after town).  The playa should now be on your right.  There are
several entrances to the playa.  You should drive onto the playa at the “12 mile” entrance (which is around 4 miles past the playa entrance
that you would normally take to get into Bman).  Then drive ENE (east-northeast… or a little bit left of “directly across the playa”) for
approximately 3 miles, on the open playa.  That’s roughly where we will be.  There is NO CELL SERVICE on the playa, so know where
you’re going ahead of time.

If you’ve never been to the playa when it isn’t Bman, this “non-event” is a real treat.  In my opinion, Juplaya is just a good as Bman (but
different).  The vast, stark, and romantic vastness of the Black Rock Desert is much more vivid and breathtaking when you’re not in the
confines of the Bman trash fence, surrounded by flashy theme camps, loud music, and huge structures.  

“4th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days.  You can drive fast (but be careful!  It’s easy to roll your vehicle at
high speed).  You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs.  There’s a shooting range near Frog Pond (please observe all safety
precautions with firearms!).  You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc).  There are some small theme camps and
art cars.  Very few cops.  Lots of random parties.  Vast open space.  Cool burners.  

You can explore the outer reaches of the playa, the whole Black Rock Desert, High Rock Canyon, the emigrant trails, and Soldier
Meadows.  There’s usually a fireworks show put on by the town of Gerlach.  Those attending Juplaya tend to camp in small groups…
scattered ALL OVER the vast playa.  This makes for interesting party-hopping at night ;)

We will be setting up a small version of Spanky’s there…a small shade structure, small gennie, sound system, some lighting, the bar,
and maybe a toy or two.  We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator fuel, etc.  ($50-ish per person)

NOTE:  RVs are fine, but there are no RV services there (greywater dumps or freshwater refills).
Also, there are no porto-potties, so us tenters… we do this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnwUmjeWfuI

We will probably head up to the playa on Wednesday morning, July 4th… and depart early on Sunday, July 8th.  But you can head up to
join us on Friday, if you can’t get the weekdays off from work.

Questions about Juplaya?… email me!


BURNING MAN WHAT/WHERE/WHEN GUIDE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE
The WWWguide is the booklet you receive at the Greeters Station upon entering Burning Man.  It lists the big events at the Theme Camps
of Bman.  If you want to host an event at SWB, please email me ASAP, so we can go over logistics and details.
NOTE: Just doing a DJ set doesn’t count for the WWWguide (there’s a different Bman listing for that, called The Rockstar Librarian listing,
and that happens in August).

If you’re hosting an significant event at Spanky’s Village this year (Electro-Swing Soire, Beaver Eating Contest, Ice Cream Social, etc.) and
you want it listed in the Bman WWWguide… you must submit it to Bman yourself this year.

You MUST do this at EXACTLY 12pm (noon) Pacific-time, on June 27th.  You do it by logging into your Burner Profile.  Bman only accepts
the first 1500 submissions, so you have to do it at exactly noon, and do it quickly.  The printed version of the WWWguide has a limit of 150
characters for the “description of the event”, so you should have that ready to cut/paste prior to logging on at noon.  You should list your
event location as “Spanky’s Village (and Wine Bar)”

More details here:
https://journal.burningman.org/2018/06/black-rock-city/participate-in-brc/playa-events-whatwherewhen-opens-for-2018-submissions-on-
june-27/


HugKissSpank,
~Admiral Painjoy~
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
July 2018 – Part 1
“she’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success…wrong by wrong”
~yet another QUOTE… by Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: “Hell” by The Tiger Lillies:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGAPhn8YDuw
        STILL NEED BMAN TICKETS & VEHICLE PASSES?
        WAPs (Work Access Passes – aka Early Build)
        WANNA PLAY SOME MUSIC AT SWB?
        MORE SWB EVENTS… YAY!
        AFTER BMAN – THE GSR (The Grand Sierra Resort & Casino)
        SWB STAPH
        RECAP of the PAST ISSUE of the PADDLER….
***REMINDER - WORK/PARTY WEEKEND – June 29-July 1 (fri-sun)
***4th OF JUPLAYA! – MORE DETAILS
***WHAT/WHERE/WHEN GUIDE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE


Shit’s getting’ real now Spankers!  Only 58-ish days until “build week” for Spanky’s/Bman!  
And our first big work/party is coming up this weekend (free orgasms to all who attend… no seriously…help yourself!)  Details below.
And Juplaya is right around the corner too.  Looking like we’ll have a good turn-out!

Bman tickets are starting to arrive in our mailboxes. (BTW – the artwork you see on all the Bman tickets was created by Spanky’s very own
Mark Harrison (Blackbird).  This is the second time that the Bman Org. has selected his artwork for the Bman tickets.  That’s quite an
honor.  Way to go Blackbird!

Reminder:   If you’re buying/selling spare Bman tickets/passes to another Spanker, please make your payments and do the shipping
promptly!  And don’t use regular mail... use a trackable method, like FedEx or UPS.  If you’re having ticket problems, please contact Red
Queen (our SWB Ticket Maven) at: ashcraaj@yahoo.com


STILL NEED BMAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES?
It’s time for me to reconcile the books.  Please email me right now if you still need to purchase a Bman ticket and/or vehicle pass.  Also, let
me know if you found a ticket/pass, and no longer need one, so I can scratch you off my list.  I want to make sure that my records are up-to-
date.  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

Reminder:  Don’t Panic.  Just like every year in the past, everyone that needs a Bman ticket will get one.  This is the time of year when
tickets magically become available for purchase.

Also, there’s on final Bman Ticket Sale coming up at the end of the month… The “OMG Sale”.  Registration for this sale is July 25 (noon) –
July 27 (noon).  And the actual sale is on August 1st (noon Pacific Time).  It’s first-come/first-served, so you need to be at your computer,
ready to buy, at exactly noon, to stand a chance of getting tix.  You can also merely buy a vehicle pass in this sale.  Read all the info here:  
https://tickets.burningman.org/

WAPs (Work Access Passes – aka Early Build)
These were called Early Arrival Passes (EAPs) in past years; now they are called Work Access Passes (WAPs).  

The gates to Bman don’t officially open until Sunday, Aug. 26th, but…

Every year, Spanky’s gets a limited number of WAPs from the Bman Org.  You can’t get into Bman before Aug 26th without a WAP.  These
WAPs are for people who want to come early and help build Spanky’s.  I don’t know how many we will be getting this year.  I won’t know
until July… but if you’re interested, let me know now (if you haven’t already)

“Early Build” is an honor, and a lot of work… and lots of fun too.  It’s pretty cool being on the playa and watching the city being built.  After the
final pre-burn work/party weekend, we will be loading the big-ass truck on Sunday, Aug 19th, then departing The Kinky Mountain Farm on
Tuesday afternoon, Aug 21st (or Wednesday morning, Aug 22nd, if we’re behind schedule.)  Upon arrival, we hit the playa running…and we
work and build and organize and decorate and, and, and… until it’s done.  If we have everything built in time (Saturday), we will host a “soft
opening party” on Saturday night, to “work out the kinks” for Bman’s opening the following day.

I select “Early Arrivals” based on a few factors:
1-        Your past track record with SWB
2-        How early can you arrive?  Helping us load and driving out will us nearly assures you a WAP.   (Arriving on Friday or Saturday, just
before Bman opens, isn’t much help)
3-        Your skill set… how handy are you?  Construction skills are great, but we need all types of people to do a multitude of tasks
4-        You are a sexy young female, willing to make all of APJs fantasies come true ;)


WANNA PLAY SOME MUSIC AT SWB?
Are you an aspiring DJ?  Or do you merely have a playlist on your iPod that you’d like to share with us?  Maybe a recorded, favorite stand-up
comedy bit?  Or 30 minutes of Japanese Polka music?  Or maybe you want to play some music live… on your guitar, harmonica, cello, or
didgeridoo (just kidding, if you bring a didgeridoo I’m gonna beat you with it).  Get in touch with our Lead DJ and Entertainment Coordinator;
DJ Dirty Dan – djdirtydan@gmail.com   He’ll answer your questions and try to find a time-slot for ya!

MORE SWB EVENTS… YAY!
As stated in past issues of The Paddler, we’re scaling back a bit this year, on the BIG events and DJs.  SWB is “taking back our BASS/Bar
area”.  So this is the year for Spankers to shine!

If you’d like to organize/host and event, do it!  It doesn’t need to be a big deal.  It could be as simple as a game of “Truth or Dare”, or “Never
Have I Ever”, or a “Trivia Contest”, or a “Dirty Book Reading”… whatever.  If you have an idea, contact me and we’ll chat about it;  
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

TWO RECENTLY ADDED EVENTS:
1-        The Seattle Crew just added a new event for Thursday at 5pm, called the “Bear/Snake/Eagle Game”.  Kinda like
Rock/Paper/Scissors, but friggin hilarious!

2-        I’m doing an event on Monday evening; Circus Porkus – A Three Hour Tour…  
“Join Admiral Painjoy for a Themed Art Tour of Bman aboard Boss Hogg (and other art cars).  You must be dressed in circus attire to
attend! (Silly Clown, Evil Clown, Lion Tamer, Lion, Tiger, Bear, Trapeze Artist, etc). We will be pumping out APJs Circus (evil clown) music
and Porcine music during the tour (we’ll make that Hogg squeal!)  Sunset departure.”

AFTER BMAN – THE GSR
The GSR (Grand Sierra Resort & Casino) in Reno is the After-Burn hotel of choice for Spanky’s.  On the whole, it’s the best one in Reno
(huge pool, good restaurants/buffet, nice rooms, good gaming, burner-friendly, great parking… and everyone wins money and gets laid –
okay, maybe not the last two, but possibly!)

Rooms are selling out quickly, so act now.  The GSR is offering discounts to Burners.  When making your reservations, use offer code
“BURN18”.  Room rates, with this code, start at $62/night.  Call the GSR at 1-800648-5080 or book online at: https://www.grandsierraresort.
com/

Also, “Thievery Corporation” is performing at the GSR (Burner Show) on Tuesday night.  Tickets start at $29.50: https://www1.ticketmaster.
com/event/170054B8C49F7412

SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – zarkin’ frood
       Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
       dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
       lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
       agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
       john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
       ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
       crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
       rachel.hundley@gmail.com
       tripp3857@comcast.net
       rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
       djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
       srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
       mwharri01@gmail.com
       izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
       lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted


RECAP-RECAP-RECAP-RECAP-RECLAP-RECARP-REPACK-REPENT (the end is near)

WORK/PARTY WEEKEND (June 29 – July 1) fri-sun
Send me an email if you’ll be attending:  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our “Work/Party Weekends”.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  Our remaining
work/party weekends will be at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley, CA
95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands make
light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake, a
river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property with
the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.  Leave No Trace!

The next one (after the June one) will be August 17-20 (Fri-Mon) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sun/Mon)… then depart for the
playa on Wednesday for Early-Build.

IMPORTANT; The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload
the truck, re-organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the
most fun, and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


4th OF JUPLAYA -  July 4-8 (wed-sun)… RSVP now!
I’m trying to get our final head-count, so let me know if you’re coming: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

Some Burners say that, “You’re not a real Burner if you’ve never been to the Black Rock Desert when it’s not Burning Man”.

Our SWB camping location will be at “The spot where they will build The Man” (weeks later).  And we’re limiting our camp-size to 40 people,
so RSVP now.

To get there, you’ll drive through Gerlach (keeping right onto Hwy 34 after town).  The playa should now be on your right.  There are several
entrances to the playa.  You should drive onto the playa at the “12 mile” entrance (which is around 4 miles past the playa entrance that you
would normally take to get into Bman).  Then drive ENE (east-northeast… or a little bit left of “directly across the playa”) for approximately 3
miles, on the open playa.  That’s roughly where we will be.  There is NO CELL SERVICE on the playa, so know where you’re going ahead
of time.  (set your gps before leaving)

If you’ve never been to the playa when it isn’t Bman, this “non-event” is a real treat.  In my opinion, Juplaya is just a good as Bman (but
different).  The vast, stark, and romantic vastness of the Black Rock Desert is much more vivid and breathtaking when you’re not in the
confines of the Bman trash fence, surrounded by flashy theme camps, loud music, and huge structures.  

“4th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days.  You can drive fast (but be careful!  It’s easy to roll your vehicle at
high speed).  You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs.  There’s a shooting range near Frog Pond (please observe all safety
precautions with firearms!).  You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc).  There are some small theme camps and art
cars.  Very few cops.  Lots of random parties.  Vast open space.  Cool burners.  

You can explore the outer reaches of the playa, the whole Black Rock Desert, High Rock Canyon, the emigrant trails, and Soldier
Meadows.  There’s usually a fireworks show put on by the town of Gerlach.  Those attending Juplaya tend to camp in small groups…
scattered ALL OVER the vast playa.  This makes for interesting party-hopping at night ;)

We will be setting up a small version of Spanky’s there…a small shade structure, small gennie, sound system, some lighting, the bar, and
maybe a toy or two.  We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator fuel, etc.  ($50-ish per person)

NOTE:  RVs are fine, but there are no RV services there (greywater dumps or freshwater refills).
Also, there are no porto-potties, so us tenters… we do this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnwUmjeWfuI

We will probably head up to the playa on Wednesday morning, July 4th… and depart early on Sunday, July 8th.  But you can head up to join
us on Friday, if you can’t get the weekdays off from work.

Questions about Juplaya?… email me!



BURNING MAN WHAT/WHERE/WHEN GUIDE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE
This Wednesday!
The WWWguide is the booklet you receive at the Greeters Station upon entering Burning Man.  It lists the big events at the Theme Camps
of Bman.  If you want to host an event at SWB, please email me ASAP, so we can go over logistics and details.
NOTE: Just doing a DJ set doesn’t count for the WWWguide (there’s a different Bman listing for that, called The Rockstar Librarian listing,
and that happens in August).

If you’re hosting an significant event at Spanky’s Village this year (Electro-Swing Soire, Beaver Eating Contest, Ice Cream Social, etc.) and
you want it listed in the Bman WWWguide… you must submit it to Bman yourself this year.

You MUST do this at EXACTLY 12pm (noon) Pacific-time, on June 27th.  You do it by logging into your Burner Profile.  Bman only accepts
the first 1500 submissions, so you have to do it at exactly noon, and do it quickly.  The printed version of the WWWguide has a limit of 150
characters for the “description of the event”, so you should have that ready to cut/paste prior to logging on at noon.  You should list your
event location as “Spanky’s Village (and Wine Bar)”

More details here:
https://journal.burningman.org/2018/06/black-rock-city/participate-in-brc/playa-events-whatwherewhen-opens-for-2018-submissions-on-
june-27/


HugKissSpank,
~Admiral Painjoy~