Spanky's Wine Bar
“We tried so hard to be adults, but just look at us... just fucking look!!!"
The Paddler
The monthly newsletter for Spanky's Wine Bar
The Paddler
January 2018
The Monthly Newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
(All the news that fits, we print)

In this issue
…which should be read while listening to this Bootie Mashup- “Here Comes the Light” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5ywBl2YA5Y

-        The Admiral’s Rave
-        A Year of Considerable Loss
-        Plans for SWB 2018
-        2018 Burning Man Tickets/Passes (The DGS)
-        The “Spankier Than Thou” game… just for fun
-        LoveBurn! (upcoming event January 26-28)
-        SWB Staph

ADMIRAL’S RAVE
Looking back on what we did last year, all I can say is, Wow… we “knocked it out of the park”!  Our 10th Anniversary was fantastic.  My
thanks go out to everyone.  

The Devil Lives in the Details:
I specifically want to thank Elisha (Mafesto), who created our beautiful, 10th Anniversary namebadges (as I forgot to mention her
herculean efforts during my opening speech on the playa).  Most of you would be surprised at how much effort goes into the details of
Spanky’s (details like a seemingly-simple namebadge).  Being that a standard work-week is 40 hours, how many hours would you
guess goes into the namebadges?  20?  40?  100?  Nope.  Between the conceptualizing, graphic design work, collection of data and
photos, templating and layout, cross-checking, printing and laminating, trimming, adding clasps, shipping, insertion into welcome packs,
and distribution… the namebadge project for 300ish people takes upwards of 200 man/hours (and this work is done in July/Aug… when
we’re all scrambling to get our shit together for the playa).  So the next time you see Mafesto, give her a hug and a Spanky’s High-Five ;)

And the namebadges are but one small detail that made up the dozens and dozens of memorable details in our village this year.  
Everybody who helped create the best Spanky’s yet should give themselves a big pat-on-the-back.  What started as an idea in my twisted
mind, back in 2007 has evolved into a renowned, beloved Burning Man institution.  Thank you all for making my kinky-dream into a
fantastic reality!

Our SWB events filled the BASS to capacity and kicked ass this past year.  I recall, during Spank-dat-Bootie, it was a wind-less night… but
SWB was a huge dust storm, unto itself, from all the dust that was kicked up from all the dancing!  The Festival of Bubastis was a rager
too.  Did anyone else see that pink-pantied-pervert being forced to do unspeakable things on the center stage?  Wild.


A YEAR OF CONSIDERABLE LOSS
Sadly though, 2016/2017 was also a year of mourning for our village.  Homage was paid to many of our fallen playa-compatriots and
family members.  Most notably, fellow Spanker Mungo, our friend Ranger Bourbon, my Step Dad (SWB accountant), and Alex Steneck
(PlayaQ founder, Soss Boss).  The PlayaQ camp came back together to honor Alex with one final Rock Star Dinner, one final Carne
Armada attack, and massive food give-aways.  Thanks to all who worked on the food, the infrastructure, and those events.   The Bman
Founders and other members of First Camp are still singing the praises of PlayaQ and The Carne Armada!  And personally, I have never
seen the PlayaQ do a better, more elaborate Rock Star Dinner.  All hail the Q!  (and fuck you, Soss Boss ;)  Even in death, you’re still
creating new friendships – and making us work our asses off!)  

And, as most of you saw on FB, we lost our dear friend (and Spanker) Sheri LaFurge last month.  Sheri finally succumb to cancer.  Sheri’s
cousin, Lady Victoria, will be organizing a service for Sheri at The Temple this year.  Our hearts are aching.


PLANS FOR SWB 2018
Many rumors have been floating about.  I know this because I started quite a few of them ;)
Two camps (Nothing Camp & Spanky’s) is no longer an option… too hard to get enough Bman tix for Nothing Camp.
So here’s the final game-plan for SWB 2018…

Our 10th Anniversary endeavors yielded more than I’d hoped for in 2017, but it was also a technically difficult and physically laborsome
undertaking for most of us.  Most of us were utterly exhausted by the end.  So this year, we will return to our roots.  We are going to scale-
back in 2018.  I’m sure you’ll all agree that we’ve earned a break in 2018.  We need to shrug the yoke of oppressive responsibility this
year.  Therefore, I will be leading a very simple version of Spanky’s this summer (similar to “Spanky’s Mini-Bar” in 2011).

We will request to be a “placed village”, as usual.  We will still have our BASS, our bar, a small sound-system, and a couple of kink toys.  
We will have our existing power grid (not the huge one from last year), one generator (not four), one rental truck (not four), and a shower.  
We will be doing what we do best.  We’ll be an eclectic, fun, kinky bar.  There will be no set “work-shift” schedule.  There will be no
appetizer program.  No camp kitchen/sanctuary.  No DJ booth.  No kink tent.  No Tunnel of Glove.  Early build and break-down/mooping
will be a breeze (compared to recent years).  Camp dues will go down a bit.  Labor requirements will also go down.  And there will be no
senior-management team… just me.

But that is NOT to say that 2018 will be a lazy free-for-all.  We are not “resting on our laurels”… just scaling back.  There WILL still be work
to do.  There will be project leaders (just not senior management).  Spanky’s will still be entertaining, wine-ing, and abusing the masses
;)  We will all still abide the core values of Spanky’s and Burning Man.  And everyone will still need to “sign up” and pay camp dues.

Sub-camps within Spanky’s are still welcomed to be a part of the village.  They can have some limited power, from the grid.  But aside
from that, they will be completely self-sufficient… doing their own set-up, staffing, break-down, and MOOPing.

P.S. – Don’t get complacent this year… I have grandiose plans for SWB2019!  ;)


2018 BURNING MAN TICKETS/PASSES (THE DGS)
Burning Man Tickets/Passes go on sale soon.   Every year, some of you screw up in the ticket sales.  I’m not sure if you’re ignorant or
apathetic… frankly, I don’t know and I don’t care ;)
Point is… READ ALL THE INFO!  I’m not bailing people out this year.  Fail to prepare = prepare to fail

IMPORTANT TICKET INFO…
1-        You MUST update your Burner Profile (on the Bman website) in order to buy tix in ANY sale.  Do it now, so you don’t forget.  https:
//profiles.burningman.org/
2-        DGS (Directed Group Sale) tickets will probably be available to Spanker’s again this year.  They are reserved for those who are
important to the creation of Spanky’s, running Spanky’s during Bman, breaking-down and MOOPing the village at the end, attending
work/party weekends, etc.
3-        SWB will be applying for DGS tickets/passes (no guarantees that we get them, or how many)
4-        If you want to buy a DGS ticket/pass through Spanky’s, you will need to let me know ASAP… between now and February 12th, via
email: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com  
5-        You can buy up to 2 tickets and 1 car pass in the DGS.  I will be pairing-up those who aren’t paired-up already, as usual, so that
DGS tix don’t go to waste.  If you’re buying 2 tickets, let me know who the 2nd one is for.  Also, let me know if you need a vehicle pass.
6-        Tickets in the DGS (and Main Sale) cost $425.00.  Vehicle passes cost $80.00
7-        You DON’T need to register with Bman for DGS tickets… I (Admiral Painjoy) register you for the DGS with Bman.  (You do need to
register for Bman tix in the Pre Sale and the Main Sale though.)
8-        To get a DGS ticket, you must have already signed up to camp with Spanky’s, on the SWB website:  www.spankyswinebar.com  Go
to the “Sign Up” page.
9-        And priority on DGS tickets goes to those who have already paid Camp Dues

The three other ticket sales that concern us soon are:
1-        The Pre-Sale (Registration is Jan 24-26 – The Sale Date is Jan 31st).  These are the super-expensive tickets that help fund Bman
stuff ($990.00 or $1200.00 each).  If you can afford these… great.  You’re helping Bman and easing the ticket-burden for SWB.
2-        The Main Sale (Registration is March 21 – 23 – The Sale Date is March 28th).  
3-        The Low Income Ticket Program (Registration is Feb 14th – April 16th)
PLEASE READ all the info about Bman ticket sales here:  https://tickets.burningman.org/


THE “SPANKIER THAN THOU” GAME… JUST FOR FUN
No need to reply with results.  This is just for fun.  (Taken from the SWB FB page)… LOL
(one point for each “yes” answer)
___  I have camped with SWB for more than 5 years
___  I have attended Juplaya with SWB
___  I know the correct response to, “Your heart may belong to the man….. “
___  I have been a guest at 3 (or more) other Spankers homes, in the default world
___  I have (at least) one piece of Lucky Bastard’s art on my wall at home
___  I have been to work/party weekends at all 3 Skunkworks… Joey’s, Donny’s, AND Liam’s
___  I know eLeM’s real last name AND how to spell it
___  I have ridden the Orgasmator (for males, I have helped build or break-down the Orgasmator)
___  I camped at the conGLOMerate village (the precursor village to SWB)
___  I have helped set up the BASS
___  I have been fondled (or fondled somebody else) at the Groping Booth (or Tunnel of Glove)
___  I have DJ’d at Spanky’s
___  I have been an eyewitness to an APJ orgasm
___  I have administered spankings with the Spank-O-Matic
___  I have ridden the Teeter Totter of Death AND the Chairway to Heaven tower
___  I have helped APJ with SWB paperwork or SWB projects at his house
___  I have been shackled to the bondage wall at SWB
___  I have danced on one of the SWB stages
___  I have been one of the first 12 Spankers on-playa for Early Build
___  I have been one of the last 12 Spankers on-playa for Break-down and MOOPing
___  I have (or have had) an SWB bumper-sticker on my vehicle
___  I have received a compliment (or other positive feedback) from Mayor Joey
___  I have been an SWB driver (drove an SWB truck… or left the playa to run an SWB errand)
___  I have given an honest description of SWB to my default-world biological family
___  I have served as Camp Bitch at SWB
___  I have argued with Major-D
___  I have had sex with a fellow Spanker, and loved it
___  I have had sex with a fellow Spanker, and regretted it
___  I have ridden on (at least) one of SWB’s art cars
___  I have been on an SWB art car when it broke-down on the playa
___  I have participated in a Carne Armada attack
___  I have given somebody a “Spanky’s High-Five”… off-playa
___  I have dog-eared a copy of the What/Where/When guide, to mark SWB events
___  I have had a full-blown “playa meltdown” at SWB
___  I have helped a fellow Spanker get through a “playa meltdown”
___  I have done an ice-run for SWB
___  I have helped to create art-work for SWB (artistic painting, graphic-design, swag, etc.)
___  I own sex toys that I consider “too nice to bring to Spanky’s”
___  There is a picture of me on the internet wearing an SWB medallion/necklace
___  I feel that “butt plug” is an acceptable answer to most questions
___  I have been personally mentioned in an issue of The Paddler
___  My picture (or my art/project) is on the SWB website
___  I know the two foods that APJ doesn’t like
___  I know two of the foods that Lucky Bastard does like
___  I sometimes think of a fellow Spanker when I masturbate
___  More than half of my current friends are Spankers
___  I have more pics of Spankers on my computer (FB included) than my biological family
___  I can recite (at least) 3 of SWB’s mottos from memory
___  I have had a problem solved for me by either Naked Larry, Gunny, or Fergus
___  I know what Painjoy’s title was before he was “Admiral”


LOVE BURN!
Love Burn is the Florida Regional Burning Man Event.  It’s coming up VERY soon, but it’s not too late to get tix and go!  I believe that
Scooter still has some tix available:  samedaysignssouth@gmail.com or you can get them through the LoveBurn website:
https://theloveburn.com/
Love Burn was created by (and is run by) Spankers Quantum Glen & Prosperity Angel.  It’s held on an island just off Miami.  It’s amazing.  
Myself and other Spankers will be there (but we’re not creating Spanky’s Wine Bar there).  However, Scooter sets up The Buffer Zone
there (this year it will be a full-on spa!)


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – Camp Engineer
dougl@fed-specs.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee
lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Burning Man Ticket Maven
ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Master Fucking Amazing (aka Liam) – Lead Builder
wmsmith1962@yahoo.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Nima – Bar Managers
rachel.hundley@gmail.com
nimashemirani@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD
srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird – RV Services Manager (with Amethyst)
mwharri01@gmail.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
lightupwire@gmail.com
Scooter – BufferZone Manager & SWB Marketing Director
samedaysignssouth@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
January 2019

In this issue……which should be read while listening to this interesting new version of “Only You” by Yazoo:  https://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=7Oa62sU4ONA

        HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
        SWB 2019 GAMEPLAN
        SIGN-UP TO CAMP AT SPANKY’S – WEBSITE OPEN
        BURNING MAN TICKET SALE (The DGS)
        WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS FOR 2019
        CAMP DUES & RV SERVICES
        LOVE BURN – MIAMI - JAN 24-27
        SWB STAPH





HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
As Burners/Spankers we get to celebrate the New Year twice… we’re greedy bastards ;)  

(For those who don’t get it… many of us consider “burn night” on the playa as New Years)
Happy (calendar) New Year Spankers!

I was very happy with our camp/village last year.  We did ourselves proud.  And I was actually able to get out of camp a few times… woot!  A
big thank you to everyone who worked hard and made Spanky’s fun and safe for everyone.  I’d like to thank all of you individually, but I’m a
bit drunk right now and I can’t remember any of your names… *hic*

We lightened the load a bit in 2018 (less attractions, less bells and whistles, no workshift schedule, less work, more fun, more free time).  
One of the main reasons for this was… 2018 was supposed to be my “year off” from running Spanky’s for 10 consecutive years.  But one
thing lead to another, and I was kinda forced to jump back in and run everything again (long story that I don’t wanna go into).  But doing a
smaller version of SWB was a compromise that worked for everyone.

2018 was a year of great loss for SWB, so I am putting a moratorium on dying this year… mkay?  I want to see all of your happy, smiling,
dusty faces on the playa this year dammit.  Take good care of yourselves (and each other) this year.

Now… onward to SWB 2019!!!
HugKissSpank,
Admiral Painjoy


SWB 2019 GAMEPLAN
SWB 2019 will be similar to last year, but with a bit more.  We’re bringing back the camp namebadges (Red Queen has volunteered to
handle the logistics, computer creation, and physical creation of the badges… but we need the artwork).  So, if any of you are artistically
inclined, please email me your artwork for our namebadge background at jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

We are also bringing back most of the toys/structures this year.  We will have all our dancer stages, new seating, the Tunnel of Glove
(groping booth), new latex Vac-U-Bed, and all the kink toys!  All the camps from last year will be with us, plus the Playa Penthouse will be
back (possibly with flame effects… yay!).  We’ll have T-shirts again this year. And the nifty medallion/necklaces available too, yippee!  

We will probably have a new BASS this year, ideas/designs are being batted around right now.  And we will be buying a brand new sound
system (seeing as how will murdered all the speakers last year… oops).

And… I’ll be asking the Bman Placement Team to give us Esplanade this year!  I have a game-plan to make it work well.


SIGN-UP TO CAMP AT SPANKY’S – WEBSITE NOW OPEN
The SWB website is (mostly) updated for 2019.  Everyone MUST sign-up, even if you signed up to camp with us last year.  This is an every-
year thing.
Sign up here:  http://www.jimhillas.org/signup.html

Also, we are doing camp namebadges again this year.  So after signing up, email a pic for your namebadge to me at jimhillas_gc@yahoo.
com  It can be a pic of you (that’s what most of us do), or a pic of, well, anything really.  But send a pic right away please.


BURNING MAN TICKET SALE (The Directed Group Sale)
The DGS (Directed Group Sale) of Bman Tickets (aka Directed Tickets) will be happening soon.  I am compiling a list of Spankers who are
interested in being considered for these tickets.  

For those who don’t know, “Directed Tickets” are tickets to Burning Man that are allocated to theme camps (and villages), art cars, and art
projects… but not just any theme camps, etc.  They are only offered to those that have a great track-record at Bman (and a good moop
rating).  And these Directed Tix are reserved for key members of the camp/village.  Those people without whom, the camp wouldn’t be
able to be built/function.  As in past years, the Bman Org. has allocated a healthy amount of DGS tickets to Spanky’s… yay!

If you (and/or your partner, friend, wife, husband, mate, b/f, g/f, slave, master, mistress, etc.) want to be considered for Directed Tix to
Bman, let me know NOW!  Keep in mind the following;
READ ALL OF THIS!!!
1-        You must email me (if you haven’t already) to let me know that you want to be considered for a DGS ticket: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.
com   Please put “SWB DGS” in the subject line.
2-        You need to sign-up on the Spanky’s website to be considered for a Spanky’s DGS ticket www.spankyswinebar.com   Yes, even if
you’ve camped with us before.  Everyone signs up to camp with SWB every year.
3-        You must have an up-to-date “burner profile” on the Bman website.  I won’t be able to enter you into the DGS sale if you don’t do
this!  https://profiles.burningman.org
4-        You must also have an up-to-date account with “Ticketfly” (the Bman ticket vendor).  
http://www.ticketfly.com/
5-        All DGS ticket purchasers must also pay camp dues.  You don’t have to pay dues now… but if we don’t have enough DGS tix, I give
preference to those kick-ass Spankers who have already paid camp dues.  http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html
6-        Asking for a Directed Ticket doesn’t guarantee you will get one.  Directed Tickets are for members of Spanky’s who are committed
to working hard to make our village a success!  But if you DON’T ask me for one soon, you’ll surely miss the boat.
7-        If you aren’t going to camp at Spanky’s Village, you can’t buy a Spanky’s DGS ticket.
8-        You need to be able to pay for the Bman tickets (and car passes) at the time of the sale.
9-        Last year, tickets cost $425.00 (plus tax, fees, etc).  Car passes were $80.00 each.  I don’t know yet if the prices are going up this
year, but if they do, it shouldn’t be much more.  Make sure you have enough money available on your credit/debit card to make the
purchase!
10-        DGS tickets are offered in pairs.  If you are not purchasing two (one for you, and one for your mate), you will be partnered-up with
another Spanker.  We do this so that we can maximize the number of Directed Tix we get each year.
11-        When Spankers are “paired-up”, one of the pair will purchase the 2 tickets and 1 car pass (the purchaser), and the other (the
partner) will pay the purchaser for their ticket
12-        The “purchaser” can only buy 2 tix and 1 car pass.  This often causes a problem- not enough car passes.  Don’t worry.  We always
get our hands on enough car passes for everyone come summertime.  Every purchaser must buy a car pass (if you don’t need it, another
Spanker will buy it from you).  We need all the car passes we can get our hands on.
13-        If you buy a Directed Ticket through SWB, then decide later that you can’t go to Bman… your ticket MUST be sold to another
Spanker.  Directed Tix HAVE TO BE USED BY THE CAMP TO WHICH THEY WERE ALLOCATED!  Selling your Directed Ticket to somebody
outside of Spanky’s runs the SERIOUS risk of having ALL of Spanky’s Directed tix VOIDED by Bman!  No Shit.  For Realz.  Not even kidding.
14-        Each year, we have some dedicated Spankers with critical skills who are “cash poor” at this time of year (seasonal income, tax
season, etc), but always have money in April/May/June.  With that in mind, we are looking for Spankers who can purchase a spare DGS
ticket and hang on to it, until those (presently) cash-poor Spankers can buy the ticket from you.  Please email me if you’re in a position to
do this for us.
15-        If you’re selected for the Spanky’s DGS… I will be submitting your name to “Bman Ticketing” in early Feb.  Then Bman Tickketing
will contact you by email, a few days later, with the final info about the DGS.  Be sure to check the email inbox from the email address that
you used in your Bman “Burner Profile”!


WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS FOR 2019
Since there’s a lot of construction work to be done, there will be 3 pre-bman “work/party weekends” and 1 post-Bman work/party weekend.  
All will be at the Kinky Mountain Farm (Liam & Donna’s)   More info on the SWB website:  http://www.jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html

Dates below are tentative, but mark your calendars nonetheless;

Weekend #1 - June 28-30 (Fri-Sun)… followed by 4th of Juplaya a few days later
(The 4th of July is on a Thursday this year, so that will make for a very popular Juplaya!)
Weekend #2 - July 26-28 (Fri-Sun)
Weekend #3 – Aug 16-19 (Fri-Mon)…just prior to going to the playa for Early Build

Post Bman Work/Party – Sept 4-8 (Wed-Sun)



CAMP DUES
Camp dues are going up this year.  After three consecutive years of not making our budget, combined with the fact that we have to rebuild
lots of stuff, buy a new sound system/speakers, buy/build a new shade structure, rent two big moving trucks (instead of one, like last year),
build new showers, buy more PBR, etc… camp dues have to increase.  We’ve put it off for too long.

Camp dues are currently $250.00 and can be paid via PayPal on our website, or by check.  The price of camp dues increases in upcoming
months, so pay now if you want to save money.

More info on camp dues and budget can be found on the SWB website:  http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html

Plus, your odds of getting a DGS ticket to Bman increase dramatically if you pay your camp dues now.

If camp dues are TRULY a problem for you, and you are a dedicated Spanker, willing to take on a lot of extra work, we do have a program
to help out.  More info on the SWB Hardship Fund is also on the website.



LOVE BURN – MIAMI – JAN 24-27 (Thur-Sun)
Love Burn is the Miami Bman Regional event, created and hosted by your fellow Spankers, Quantum Glen & Prosperity Angel.  A
“Regional” is kinda like a mini-Bman set somewhere else in the world.  If you’re interested in going, let me know.

In my humble opinion, it’s the best “regional” out there!  The event is held on an island right between Key Biscayne and downtown Miami.  
If you’re on the island, facing the water, you feel like you’re in the Florida Keys… if you face the other way, boom, downtown Miami.  But it’s
also completely secluded.  We have a whole private section of the island to ourselves.  There are lots of theme camps, art, fun toys,
events, toilets/showers, beach, bars, art cars, and kick-ass music.  Check out the site map here:
https://theloveburn.com/directions/

Tickets are on sale now.  Airfares are pretty cheap right now.  The event is an inexpensive Uber/Lyft from the airport.  More info on the Love
Burn website:  https://theloveburn.com/

There will be quite a few Spankers there, and we will have The Buffer Zone at the event.  We’ll need some volunteers to run the Buffer
Zone, keep it clean/organized, and help disassemble it on Sunday.  Please let me know if you wanna camp with us Spankers at the Buffer
Zone.  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com



MORE INFO COMING IN FUTURE NEWSLETTERS REGARDING SWB 2019, such as;
RV Services (Pump-outs, Potable water refills, RV Power), Camp Power, WAPs, Camp Events, Workshifts, Work/Party Weekends, 4th of
Juplaya, DJing, etc.



SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner & Vibes
dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of NameBadges
ashcraaj@yahoo.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Executive Director of All The Things
lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
tahoesherpa@yahoo.com
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (kitchen services)
eve.vargas@farmersinsurance.com
Winter – Ice Queen
winter_woman17@yahoo.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, sharks with lasers attached to their heads, Electro Swing, Eros Tangier
ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
crbooth@martianwind.com
Tripp & Gwyn & JoJo- Bar Managers
tripp3857@comcast.net
gwen@pacific.net
johannes.pauw@gmail.com
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle  – Lead Mistresses (MOD Squad)
oliviarosexxx@yahoo.com
Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… freak… event planner
djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
mwharri01@gmail.com
izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
lightupwire@gmail.com
Dr. Steve & Dr. Dave – Playa Penthouse Guys
queenandco@live.com   &  dd_bay@yahoo.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
February 2019 – Ticket Edition

Special issue…
…which should be read while listening to this remix of The Pixies “Where is My Mind”:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xxsdw6zG1bg

LET ME BEGIN THIS NEWSLETTER BY SAYING THE SAME THING I HAVE SAID EVERY YEAR… Everyone in Spanky’s that wants a Bman
ticket, will get one… eventually.  Don’t panic!

THE ADMIRAL’S RANT
Your procrastination (and failure to read instructions)… hurts my wallet!
There are a few of you that do it right (Thank you soooo much!), but most Spankers procrastinate (or don’t follow instructions).  Here’s
how that affects me;

As most of you know, running Spanky’s takes-up over a thousand hours of my time each year.  In a perfect world, I could do all of the early-
in-the-year administrative work (Jan-May) in the evenings, after work and during the weekends.  But when Spankers wait to do things until
the last minute (sign-up, pay dues, email namebadge pics, etc), then my paperwork amasses right before a deadline (like the DGS ticket
sale).  When that happens, suddenly I have a metric-shit-ton of emailing, texting, phone calls, data entry, etc. that has to be done in a very
short amount of time.   That means I have to take days off from work to get it done!  Financial ouch!  Please don’t put things off til the last
minute!

My battery is running low and it is getting dark.
apj



LATER THIS WEEK, I WILL BE SENDING EMAILS TO THOSE WHO GOT SELECTED FOR THE DGS TICKET SALE
If you have been selected for the DGS, you will be getting an email from me later this week, with “Congratulations – DGS” in the subject
line.  The email will contain info and instructions for the ticket sale next week.  Be sure to read the whole email, and follow all instructions!

If you don’t get an email from me later this week, with “Congratulations – DGS” in the subject line, that means you didn’t get selected for
DGS.  But don’t fret.  You will get a Bman ticket.  You merely need to have some patience, and follow my instructions carefully over the next
few months.

Due to a silly formula that the Bman Placement Team uses, Spanky’s got a significant reduction in DGS ticket invites this year (50 less
than last year).  So I had to make some tough choices.  But your Admiral is on the case.  I have been in touch with the Placement Team
and I have been given some assurance that there will be a second DGS in late May.  I will prevail upon the Placement Team to help us
out during this sale.  

Some reasons you might not have been selected for the DGS;
1-        You didn’t sign-up
2-        You haven’t paid camp dues yet
3-        You have a person(s) coming with you (friend/family) that hasn’t signed up yet
4-        You’re a newbie and haven’t responded to my “vetting letter” yet
5-        Your past “track record” with helping out the camp isn’t stellar
6-        You’re weird… or not weird enough
7-        There just weren’t enough tix (most likely reason)

As I stated, everyone will eventually get a ticket.  Don’t Panic!  This happens every year.  In the meantime…make sure you’ve done all the
things necessary to join Spanky’s!  (see last month’s Paddler for more details - http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html - scroll down)  This
includes emailing pics for your camp namebadges.

Also… There are other Bman ticket sales coming up:

HERE IS THE BURNING MAN TICKET SCHEDULE (and pricing – all vehicle passes are $100.00)
Wed, Feb 13th – Low Income Ticket Applications open - $210.00 tix
       (number of LITs has increased 18% this year)
Wed, Feb 27th – Directed Group Sale starts - $425.00 tix (for those invited)
Wed, Mar 13th – 15th  – FOMO Sale registration (formerly known as Pre-Sale) - $1400.00 tix
Wed, Mar 20th – FOMO Sale starts
Wed, Apr 3rd – 5th – Main Sale registration - $425.00 tix
Wed, Apr 10th – Main Sale starts at exactly noon Pacific-time
TBA – STEP opens (Secure Ticket Exchange Program)
June – Ticket fulfillment begins (Bman starts mailing tix to buyers)
TBA – STEP closes
Wed, Jul 24th – 26th – OMG Sale registration - $550.00 tix
Wed, Jul 31st – OMG Sale starts at exactly noon Pacific-time

WARNING – Don’t try to buy tix on StubHub, Craigslist, or other sites like that.  It’s a scam… always.


SWB STAPH:
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner & Vibes
dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of NameBadges
ashcraaj@yahoo.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Executive Director of All The Things
lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
tahoesherpa@yahoo.com
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (kitchen services)
eve.vargas@farmersinsurance.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, sharks with lasers attached to their heads, Electro Swing, Eros Tangier
ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
crbooth@martianwind.com
Tripp & Gwyn & JoJo- Bar Managers
tripp3857@comcast.net
gwen@pacific.net
johannes.pauw@gmail.com
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Hudsy & Danielle  – Lead Mistresses (MOD Squad)
oliviarosexxx@yahoo.com
brookewilkes@me.com
daniellemaysmusic@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… freak… event planner
djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
mwharri01@gmail.com
izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
lightupwire@gmail.com
Dr. Steve & Dr. Dave – Playa Penthouse Guys and Stripper Pole
queenandco@live.com   &  dd_bay@yahoo.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
“Your heart may belong to The Man… but your ASS belongs to Spanky’s!”
January 2020

In this issue…
…which should be read while listening to: INXS “Strangest Party”:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8G5-m1PmoM


        Happy New Year Spankers!
        New stuff for SWB 2020
        Some Good News from the Bman Org
        New SWB FB Page
        New Website Under Construction
        Sign Up and Pay Camp Dues Now to Save Money
        SWB Staph



HAPPY NEW YEAR SPANKERS!
I hope you all had a great holiday season.  Mine was jam-packed with lots of driving… le sigh.

I promised you all an answer, after the holidays, about whether-or-not I will be doing SWB at Bman in 2020.  Well, the short answer is…
yes.  But it’s conditional.  Read on dear Spankers…
Oh, also… I’m announcing the SWB Theme for this year too!  “20/20 Hind-sight”.  More on that soon ;)


NEW STUFF FOR SWB 2020
Last year was WAY too difficult for me, as camp leader.  Much of this had to do with some policies and problems within the Bman Org.  
Some had to do with my personal situation on the east coast (mostly work/money stuff).  And the remainder had to do with some of the
Spankers.

First, I’d like to start with an announcement about new SWB rules.  
1-        I’m instituting a new rule about early departure from the playa (i.e. leaving before the final moop sweeps are done on Monday, at
the end of the event).  This problem ENDS THIS YEAR!  If you can’t stay until the bitter end in 2020, you MUST pay an extra $500.00.  This
is on top of your regular camp dues (and on top of your “freeloader dues” if you choose that option).  I will be creating a new
management responsibility in SWB to enforce this… with an iron hand.  It is incredibly unfair that, on Monday morning, there are only
around 20 Spankers left to do the final packing and mooping, when we had a camp of 100-200 people in camp all week!
2-        Interpersonal drama has to end.  It is not my job (or anyone’s in SWB) to be your relationship councilor or psychiatrist, before,
during or after Bman.  As much as I love you all, it takes a tremendous toll on me (and others), both time-wise and mentally.  You know
who you are.  If it happens again this year, this will be your last year with Spanky’s.
3-        Many Spankers need to take better care of themselves on the playa.  Some of you party too hard… despite my warnings.  It’s bad
enough that SWB managers have to deal with customers who are train-wrecks at SWB.  Please make a serious effort to curtail your
partying in 2020.  Be smart and responsible.  Don’t become a burden to the camp.  Again, you know who you are.  If it happens this
year… 2020 will be your last with SWB.
4-        The honor-system for workshifts isn’t working.  We are going back to signing up for workshifts in 2020.  And the Camp Bitches will
be “on it this year.  Don’t flake on your shifts.  More on that soon.
5-        Spankers need to stop procrastinating when it comes to paying dues, signing-up, submitting namebadge pics, etc.  Putting this
stuff off until the summer won’t fly any more.

Secondly, SOME GOOD NEWS FROM THE BMAN ORG
For the past few years, I’ve been telling The Placement Team (and many others at the Bman Org), there needs to be some changes in
the DGS (and many other parts of Bman) in order for it to be sustainable, from the viewpoint of big Theme Camp leaders.  Well, it seem
that they have finally started to listen.  I am pretty confident that the February DGS will yield more (greatly needed) fruit for us.  And many of
the other logistic aspects of Bman may become more streamlined/simplified too.  Hallelujah!

NEW SWB FB PAGE
Many of you noticed that our old SWB Facebook page got “archived”.  I didn’t do this.  The original creator of the page did it.  And because
he created the page, he was the senior admin.  In a fit of anger (too much to explain), he removed all the pages other admins and
archived it.   So my apologies about that.  Just as well anyway… the page needed some purging ;)

I’ve created a new SWB FB page.  If you haven’t already been invited/joined… send me a friend request and ask to be added.

NEW WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Our current website is up and running… but only for paying camp dues.  We are building a new SWB website over the next few weeks.  
The old site served us well for many years, but its functionality is limited and its look is dated.  Time for an upgrade.


PAY CAMP DUES NOW TO SAVE MONEY
Please begin paying camp dues now.
Camp dues are currently $200.00 for early-birds.  And preference in the DGS goes to those who have already paid their camp dues.  The
DGS organizing begins at the end of this month!  But remember not to fill out the SWB “sign-up” info yet.  Just dues at this point.
After you pay camp dues, please follow up with an email to me at jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com to let me know you paid… and I’ll know that
(for example) a payment from “Creative Bondage Floral Arrangements” was actually a payment from you.

Pay dues here:  http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html


SWB STAPH:
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge (and RGOS – Random Guy on Site)
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com  -  Camp Bitches – Ice Runners – Hello Camp – Masseuses
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons &
Cartographer & Civic Planner & Vibes
dougl@fed-specs.com
Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team
colinallerton@hotmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance
moves)
ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Dano – Lead builder (and history professor)  - Floaters/Infrastructure
tahoesherpa@yahoo.com
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretakers
eve.vargas@farmersinsurance.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)
john@luxdynamics.com   Spank-O-Matic Operators
Lazer – Cool Lights, Eros Tangier (and copies APJ’s facial hair)
ryan@newrule.com
For Now & For Later – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators
Bobrdwr@gmail.com
Tripp & Gwyn & JoJo- Bar Managers (and purveyors of dice games) – Bar Tenders and Bar Backs
tripp3857@comcast.net
gwen@pacific.net
johannes.pauw@gmail.com
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle  – Lead Mistresses - MOD Squad (and lovable
Freaks!) – Stage Dancers
oliviarosexxx@yahoo.com
daniellemaysmusic@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) - DJs
djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man impax@comcast.net  – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennie  
(and yogi-bear)
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)
mwharri01@gmail.com
izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)
lightupwire@gmail.com
Dr. Steve & Dr. Dave – Playa Penthouse Guys and Stripper Pole (fans of Nabokov novels)
queenandco@live.com   &  dd_bay@yahoo.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
February 2020 – Ticket Edition

Special issue…
…which should be read while listening to: Pasties and a G-String, by Tom Waits:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH51fbzXg_E

LET ME BEGIN THIS NEWSLETTER BY SAYING THE SAME THING I HAVE SAID EVERY YEAR… Everyone in Spanky’s that wants a
Bman ticket, will get one… eventually.  Don’t panic!

NOTE:  If you want to buy a ticket from the Bman Org, you MUST have an up-to-date “Burner Profile”.  Please go here and create/update it
now:  https://profiles.burningman.org

ALSO NOTE:  My apologies for not having the new website up and running yet.  Sadly, I’ve had several deaths of friends/family that had to
take priority over SWB/Bman stuff.  I’m striving to get caught up.  Once the new SWB website is ready, you may all sign-up and do the
other things needed to join SWB.

VERY SOON, I WILL BE SENDING EMAILS TO THOSE WHO GOT SELECTED FOR THE DGS TICKET SALE
If you have been selected for the DGS, you will be getting an email from me later this week, with “Congratulations – DGS” in the subject
line.  The email will contain info and instructions for the ticket sale later this month.  Be sure to read the whole email, and follow all
instructions!

If you don’t get an email from me later this week, with “Congratulations – DGS” in the subject line, that means you didn’t get selected for
DGS.  But don’t fret.  You will get a Bman ticket.  You merely need to have some patience, and follow my instructions carefully over the
next few months. Your Admiral is on the case.  I have been in touch with the Placement Team and I have been given some assurance
that there will be a second DGS in late May.  I will prevail upon the Placement Team to help us out during this sale.

As I stated, everyone will eventually get a ticket.  To quote “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”… Don’t Panic!  This happens every year.  
In the meantime (once the new website is up and running), make sure you’ve done all the things necessary to join Spanky’s

Also… There are other Bman ticket sales coming up:
HERE IS THE BURNING MAN TICKET SCHEDULE (and pricing – all vehicle passes are $140.00)
Wed, Feb 12th – Low Income Ticket Applications open - $210.00 tix  -   (ends April 15th)
Wed, Feb 26th – Directed Group Sale starts at noon pacific time - $475.00 tix (for those invited)
Wed, Mar 11th – 13th – FOMO Sale registration (formerly known as Pre-Sale) - $1400.00 tix
Wed, Mar 18th – FOMO Sale starts
Wed, Apr 1st - 3rd  – Main Sale registration - $425.00 tix
Wed, Apr 8th – Main Sale starts at exactly noon Pacific-time
TBA – STEP opens (Secure Ticket Exchange Program)
June – Ticket fulfillment begins (Bman starts mailing tix to buyers)
TBA – STEP closes
Wed, Jul 29th – 31st – OMG Sale registration - $550.00 tix
Wed, Aug 5th – OMG Sale starts at exactly noon Pacific-time

IMPORTANT:  Please read all the details about buying Bman tickets on the Bman website:  https://tickets.burningman.org

WARNING – Don’t try to buy tix on StubHub, Craigslist, or other sites like that.  It’s a scam… always.


SWB STAPH:
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge (and RGOS – Random Guy on Site)
  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com  -  Camp Bitches – Ice Runners – Hello Camp – Masseuses
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons &
Cartographer & Civic Planner & Vibes
  dougl@fed-specs.com
Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team
  colinallerton@hotmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance
moves)
  ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Dano – Lead builder (and history professor)  - Floaters/Infrastructure
  tahoesherpa@yahoo.com
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretakers
  eve.vargas@farmersinsurance.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)
  john@luxdynamics.com   Spank-O-Matic Operators
Lazer – Cool Lights, Eros Tangier (and copies APJ’s facial hair)
  ryan@newrule.com
For Now & For Later – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators
  Bobrdwr@gmail.com
Tripp & Gwyn & JoJo- Bar Managers (and purveyors of dice games) – Bar Tenders and Bar Backs
  tripp3857@comcast.net
  gwen@pacific.net
  johannes.pauw@gmail.com
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle  – Lead Mistresses - MOD Squad (and lovable
Freaks!) – Stage Dancers
  oliviarosexxx@yahoo.com
  daniellemaysmusic@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) - DJs
  djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man impax@comcast.net  – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennie  
(and yogi-bear)
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)
  mwharri01@gmail.com
  izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)
  lightupwire@gmail.com
Dr. Steve & Dr. Dave – Playa Penthouse Guys and Stripper Pole (fans of Nabokov novels)
   queenandco@live.com   &  dd_bay@yahoo.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet - Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
March 2020

In this issue…
…which should be read while listening to: WIDESPREAD PANIC’s “Ain’t Life Grand”:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulnWqaOJ3yg

        Message from the Admiral
        Things to do during quarantine
        SWB needs people with trucks/towing ability
        New SWB Website
        New Email Addresses for SWB Management
        Bman Tickets
        Work/Party Weekends
        Namebadge Pics
        SWB 2020 T-Shirt art request
        SWB Staph

MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
First of all…congratulations!  We were 100% successful in the DGS ticket sale last month.  Good job Spankers!  There are more Bman
ticket opportunities going on now/soon.  More on that below.

Secondly… The coronavirus/covid19.  I hope you are all healthy, happy and not panicking.  A good percentage of us are in home
quarantine, so if you’re interested, Red Queen is hosting an online Zoom meeting for SWB tonight at 6pm EDT (9pm Pacific).  Click this
link at that time if you want to join:  https://us04web.zoom.us/j/898235033 (chrome or firefox)

As of now, Burning Man is still happening.  It’s approximately 5 months away, so the Bman Org. is probably far from making a final
decision about it.  The same goes for Spanky’s.  I am still planning for an amazing SWB2020.  I’ve already purchased my plane ticket for
the first SWB work/party weekend in June.  Our generators are reserved for the event.  Already begun purchasing things for SWB this
year.  So let’s all use this “quarantine” time to start brainstorming, planning, and getting psyched-up for playa-time at the end of the
summer.  Woot!

My guess is that the worst of the pandemic will happen in the next 4-6 weeks, then begin to subside.  Also, I can’t imagine that a massive
quarantine would last six months without toppling the world’s economy.  In the meantime, let’s do everything possible to not spread this
virus!!!  And don’t spread un-vetted or unfriendly info on social media.  We’re better than that.

In the UNLIKELY event that Bman does get cancelled, here’s how I’m guessing it will shake out;
1-        MY GUESS is that it would probably get cancelled for 2020… not postponed for a few weeks.  Too difficult for all involved to change
plans.  And it’s unlikely that a postponement of a few weeks would be effective.
2-        The Bman Org has not made any announcement yet regarding cancelling the event, or not… nor have they stated that refunds will
take place, or not.  So just be patient and chill.
3-        MY GUESS is that Bman would probably just take 2020 off and honor the tickets that have already been sold this year… in 2021.
4-        The same would apply for Spanky’s.  Camp dues, already paid for this year, would simply be applied to 2021.
5-        MY GUESS is that the Main Sale (registration scheduled for April 1st) will get postponed by a month-or-so.
6-        Plane Tickets and Rental Vehicles -  Airlines are offering free cancellations and rescheduling of flights.  So buying a flight shouldn’
t be a risk… and they’re getting pretty cheap now too (NYC to SF round-trip costs $250.00 as of today… around Bman dates).  As
Rothschild said, “When there’s blood in the streets, buy!”.  Buying airline tickets now also helps bolster the airlines during the crisis.  
This also applies to most rental car companies.
7-        SWB would not attempt to do its own “stand alone event” in 2020 (this has been suggested to me by a few people).  If Bman gets
cancelled for this year, it would probably be because of government restrictions, and any event I tried to pull off would fall into those
restrictions as well.
8-        Many Burners are talking about going camping on the playa (during Bman time) even if Bman is cancelled.  We would NOT do
this.  And please discourage any Burner-friends from considering it.  I’m willing to bet that the BLM wouldn’t allow that to happen.  They
would have BLM rangers stationed at the entrances to the playa (and patrolling the playa) and would turn around any vehicles attempting
to try it.  And the BLM would have the law on their side.  So don’t bother attempting it.  It would do nothing but hurt the event and put you at
risk.

Third… In recent weeks, I’ve been making changes to my e-life.  I’m moving away from all things Yahoo.  I’m also beginning to take
steps to separate my business/vanilla life from my Bman/kink life.  
I still have my old Yahoo email address (jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com) which I will still be checking daily, but slowly phasing out.  My new
business/personal email address is jimhillasgc@gmail.com  And my new email address for SWB/Bman stuff is… well… keep reading

And finally…. Drama.
Last year at SWB there was drama.  Too much drama.  It ain’t happening again this year.  We will be augmenting the SWB Security Staff
this year, to help decrease the number of unruly customers.  Last year we got royally screwed in the DGS, so we were working with a
skeleton staff (including Security).  This year we did better in the DGS and there are probably more tix on the way in upcoming months).
Also…  Nearly all of the Spankers who brought lots of drama to the playa/camp last year, won’t be returning in 2020 (either voluntarily, or
because they were asked not to return).  
Hallelujah, Amen, and pass the bacon please.


SWB THINGS TO DO DURING QUARANTINE
        Brainstorm ideas for SWB events (Best Butt Contest, Shirtcocker’s Ball, Naked Wine and Cheese Party, Festival of Bubastis… are
some we’ve had in the past.  Share your new ideas with me!
        Costume design and creation
        Create set-lists on your computer/phone (or other device) so you can DJ at SWB for an hour or two… could be a themed set
        Clean and organize your Bman bins from last year  Who knows… you might have some spare N95 masks in there that you could
donate to healthcare workers!  Tom Price (Burners Without Borders) is organizing collection of masks, for donation:  tomwprice@gmail.
com
        Work on a design for an SWB T-shirt for this year
        Call a Spanker to say “hi” and catch up
        Host an online SWB party sometime in the upcoming days/weeks
        Make your reservations (airline, rental vehicle, RV, hotel)
        Plan out the appetizer you’ll make at Spanky’s


SWB NEEDS PEOPLE WITH TRUCKS/TOWING ABILITY
For the past few years, MagicMan has towed in our big generator (behind is big RV), but he’s taking a year off this year.  Each year, the
gennie is picked up in Sparks, NV (just off I-80) during early-build.  Then it’s returned on the Tuesday after Bman ends.

This year we’re renting two gennies… so we need 2 Spankers to volunteer to pick up and drop off these gennies.  One will be a 70kVA
and one will be a 110kVA.  They require a heavy duty pick-up truck, big-ass RV, or the like, to tow these monsters.

This is important!!!  Please contact me if you can help; admiralpainjoy@spankys.org



NEW SWB WEBSITE
We (myself and Deryck, mostly) have been plugging away on the new website for weeks now.  (Deryck was with us last year for his first
Bman).  It is a huge and daunting task.  But it will be done soon.   There’s no need to worry…and there’s no huge rush.  We expect that
the site will be completed, beta-tested, tweeked, and unveiled by mid-April.  I’d also like to hear a big round of applause for Deryck, our
new SWB info technology (IT) manager, who has been doing the lion’s-share of this herculean task.  Thanks brother!  I am giving you the
playa-name: “Spank-IT”

Once the site is open, Spankers can officially “sign-up” to camp at SWB.  
NOTE:  None of the sign-ups that happened on the old/existing website are valid.  If you signed-up already, you’ll have to do it again on
the new website.

The website will have most of the same info… and more.  And it will have a newer and more professional look… which is good.  And it
should adjust to conform to most devices (phones, iPads, etc).  But the main improvements will be its functionality and flexibility for future
growth.  Which most of you won’t be able to see, and don’t really need to concern yourself with… but SWB management will enjoy it.  Yay!


NEW EMAIL ADDRESSES FOR SWB MANAGEMENT
Along with our new website, comes a new email platform.  More yay!  
I can now be emailed at: admiralpainjoy@spankys.org
Below (bottom of this newsletter) is the new list of email addresses for the SWB management team.  

NOTE: If you’re part of SWB2020 management, check your regular email for a message from Deryck on how to activate your new email
account.


BURNING MAN TICKETS
If you’re still in need of a Bman ticket (or vehicle pass), email me now at admiralpainjoy@spankys.org
As I say every year… everyone who truly wants a ticket, and follows my (and Red Queen’s) instructions, will get one.

HERE IS THE BURNING MAN TICKET SCHEDULE (and pricing – all vehicle passes are $140.00)
Wed, Feb 12th – Low Income Ticket Applications open - $210.00 tix  -   (ends April 15th)
Wed, Mar 18th – FOMO Sale started (you had to register in advance – March 13th)
Wed, Apr 1st - 3rd  – Main Sale registration - $425.00 tix (MAY BE POSTPONED!)
Wed, Apr 8th – Main Sale starts at exactly noon Pacific-time and it’s first come first served (MAY BE POSTPONED!)
TBA – STEP opens (Secure Ticket Exchange Program)
June/July? – Ticket fulfillment begins (Bman starts mailing tix to buyers)
TBA – STEP closes
Wed, Jul 29th – 31st – OMG Sale registration - $550.00 tix
Wed, Aug 5th – OMG Sale starts at exactly noon Pacific-time

IMPORTANT!  Please make sure you have read/memorized all the info about the ticket sale:
https://tickets.burningman.org/

WARNING – Don’t try to buy tix on StubHub, Craigslist, or other sites like that.  It’s a scam… always.


WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
These weekends are the lifeblood of Spanky’s.  This is where we do most of our construction, organizing, and planning.  Regardless of
your skillset, there’s something for you to do.  Plus, we have a great time!
More info here: http://www.jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html
Our first work/party weekend is scheduled for June 5-7 at the Kinky Mountain Farm (Liam and Donna’s place) at 5111 Marshall Rd. in
Garden Valley, CA 95633
Here’s the full work/party weekend schedule;
June 5-7
July 10-12
Aug 22-25 (just before the early-build team departs for the playa)
Sept 9-13 (clean up and storage – after Bman)


NAMEBADGE PICS
Please begin submitting pics for your SWB namebadges.  Email to admiralpainjoy@spankys.org
Include the following:
1-        Pic for your namebadge  (if you don’t submit a pic, we will select one for you, and you probably won’t like it)  lol
2-        2- Your Playa-name (if you have one, otherwise use your first name – NOTE:  You can’t just make up a playa name… they have to
occur organically)
3-        A quote/title/etc. of some sort (maximum of 30 characters)

Namebadges at SWB are important.  We wear them whenever we are in camp.  It shows that you’re a member of SWB.  If you wander
behind the bar, for example, the bar manager will know that you’re a member of SWB and not some rando.  Also, our customers will
know that you’re a member of SWB and will, perhaps, feel comfortable chatting you up regarding SWB info.

When not in camp, it’s wise to clip your namebadge to your Camelback (or other bag that you bring out with you when exploring Bman).  
The namebadge has your name and playa address on it.  If you lose it, it may find its way back to SWB.  This has happened quite a few
times.

Namebadges are also a memento.  Most Spankers collect them over the years.


SWB 2020 T-SHIRT ART REQUEST
Most years we create SWB T-Shirts.  If you have ideas for the artwork for these T-shirts, please submit your design to me at
admiralpainjoy@spankys.org   Computer graphic design is preferred… but you can also merely do a drawing on paper, take a pic of it,
and email it.

Deadline for submission is May 1st.


SWB STAPH:
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge (and RGOS – Random Guy on Site)
    admiralpainjoy@spankys.org
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons &
Cartographer & Civic Planner & Vibes
   Major-D@spankys.org
Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team
   niloc@spankys.org
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance
moves)
   redqueen@spankys.org
Dano – Lead builder (and history professor)  - Floaters/Infrastructure
   dano@spankys.org
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretakers
   eve@spankys.org
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)
   sky@spankys.org
For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators
fornowandforlater@spankys.org
Tripp - Bar Manager (and purveyors of dice games) – Bar Tenders and Bar Backs
   tripp@spankys.org  
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle  – Lead Mistresses - MOD Squad (and lovable
Freaks!) – Stage Dancers and Spanky’s University (Spank U)
   lazybarslut@spankys.org
   danielle@spankys.org
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)
   blackbird@spankys.org
   amethyst@spankys.org
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)
   quantum@spankys.org
Spank-IT – (Deryck) SWB IT Manager and web designer
   spankIT@spankys.org
Dirty Dan – DJs
   dirtydan@spankys.org

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet - Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
March 2020 – Part 2

In this issue…
…which should be read while listening to this remix of “Eminence Front” by The W.H.O. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDR70yvcOpg

        Message from the Admiral
        SWB Virtual/Viral Parties
        COVID19 - Burners lending a hand
        More things to do during quarantine
        SWB needs people with trucks/towing ability
        SWB Management… set up your new email
        More on Work/Party Weekends
        Namebadge Pics
        SWB Staph

MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
Hello Spankers
I hope you’re all safe and healthy.  Please do your best to maintain the integrity of the quarantine.  Keep doing all the things necessary to
keep from being infected, and infecting others.  Encourage others to do the same.  Like all things… this too shall pass.  You are not
alone.  Together, we will make the best of these scary and difficult times.  We will even have some fun on this strange journey.

This past weekend, Major-D and I attended (virtually) the Burning Man – “Annual Theme Camp Symposium”.  At the beginning of the
symposium, Maid Marion (Bman CEO) made a speech.  She reiterated many of the things she told me from our conversation a couple of
weeks ago, and confirmed many of my guesses from the last Paddler.  There was also much related discussion in the symposium
“break-out sessions”, hosted by Placement and other Bman Managers.

1-        No decision or announcement is being made yet about Burning Man being cancelled for 2020.  The Bman Org. is waiting for a few
weeks to make that determination.
2-        The “Main Sale” for Bman tickets is postponed.  No date has been announced officially, but Maid Marian estimated, May 1st.  
3-        There hasn’t been any formal announcement about refunds on tickets that were already sold in the DGS and FOMO ticket sales…
or honoring 2020 tix in 2021, if the event is cancelled.  Maid Marian did spend some time explaining the serious financial quandary that
the unforeseeable COVID19 crisis has placed on the Bman Org.  It is way more complicated that you’d think.
4-        She and Bman management are exploring many options.  She assured us that they are working tirelessly to “do the right thing”.
5-        I will post a link to Maid Marian’s speech when it becomes available


Also in the symposium, there was much discussion about the new guidelines for Theme Camp approval and placement.  Bman (the
Placement Team) is instituting a stricter set of guidelines for Theme Camps.  Yay!  Music to my ears.  There have been TOO MANY
placed Theme Camps in recent years.  Many/most of them are pretty lame and/or gaming-the-system for DGS tix.  
Here’s more info:  https://burningman.org/event/camps/criteria/

We also learned at the symposium that the BLM has reversed themselves regarding the measures they were trying to start
implementing last year… there will be no dumpsters on the exit road, no concrete barriers around the event, and no federal officers at the
gate searching all vehicles.  So yay… more good news.


SWB VIRTUAL/VIRAL (V/V) PARTIES
Last week, we had two online SWB meetings/parties.  I call them V/V Parties.  And they were so much fun… and very therapeutic.  It’s
great to see all your happy faces…and other body parts ;)  After the first one, I decided to try and have some sort of “performance” for our
future V/V Parties. Last Friday, Spanker Cory Van Valin did around 20 minutes of fun/kinky magic.  It was great!

This Wednesday morning-ish (noon eastern – 9am pacific), we will be doing our 3rd V/V party.  Since we have Spankers all over the
globe, I’m varying the times of each party.  And Wednesday’s V/V will have our very own “Sassy” doing some Aerial Performances for
us… woot!  Can’t wait.  And since this one is a morning V/V… we can all dance to Morning Train.  There are also rumors of a musical
performance by Danielle (aka Naked Bartender… aka Snow Patrol).  Yay!

Feel free to wear Burner attire, or comfy quarantine clothes, or no clothes at all.  REMINDER… there will be NO RECORDING of our V/V
parties allowed.  We want everyone to feel comfortable being their fun/freaky selves.

If you’re interested in doing a performance at a future V/V party, send me a pvt message at admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

We do these parties remotely via the “Zoom” app.  You can do it with your smartphone or your computer.  Download the free app here:  
https://zoom.us/download

And here’s the link to the Wednesday SWB V/V Party (don’t click until Wednesday at noon eastern time):  https://us04web.zoom.
us/j/8851339211

P.S.  If you’re friends with Danielle on FB… she and her friends (Roshelle and Larkin) have been livestreaming performances of
classical music on Facebook, from Danielle’s front porch/yard in Kansas City.  They are quite wonderful.  Their next performance is
Friday at 6pm central time – 5pm eastern – 4pm pacific).  This is not a Spanky’s event, so please keep any comments during the
performance, PG rated!)


COVID19 – BURNERS LENDING A HAND
In last month’s Paddler, I mentioned the work that Tom Price and Burners Without Borders is doing.  Here it is again:
“Clean and organize your Bman bins from last year.  Who knows… you might have some spare N95 masks or other PPE that can be
donated to healthcare workers.  Contact Tom Price (Burners Without Borders) for more info:  tomwprice@gmail.com “

And here’s another Burner doing something real and meaningful.  My friend Timothy Phillips and his collaborators have designed a 3-D
Printable splitter for ventilators.  I personally vouch for Timothy and the veracity and integrity of the project.  This is real and they need
help… both physically and financially.  It will save lives.   Read the info in the GoFundMe page… there is a link/form in there that shows all
the ways you can help.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/keep-breathing-nyc-covid-response?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link-
tip&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&fbclid=IwAR0NIsg8JWqcUbFnJocDZp9vw-oKRHuUP4DSXApe2b8Bkg38i18j5kdH7Fo


MORE SWB THINGS TO DO DURING QUARANTINE
        During our first SWB V/V party, we were brainstorming ideas for new events at SWB.  Jojo and Sparkle Boots came up with an
idea… The Kink Olympics!  Head-to-head competitions with timed events (like a decathlon).  The two contestants would have to go from
station-to-station performing submissive tasks such as;  Unlacing and removing a Mistresses thigh-high boots, picking up some trash
from the ground with their buttcheeks and putting it in the trash, bring a Mistress a drink while blindfolded…with panties around their
ankles, etc.  I’d love to hear your ideas.

        Another idea was; Spanky’s BDSM “Mad Libs”.  Anyone wanna take a stab at creating one?  Maybe we’ll test it out at the next V/V
party!

        We still need a T-Shirt design for SWB2020.  Where my creative types at?  Email me your designs/sketches/etc.

        Do some costume crafting


SWB STILL NEEDS PEOPLE WITH TRUCKS/TOWING ABILITY
In the last issue, I failed to mention that we’re trying to bring out the big toys this year (Teeter Totter of Death and the Chairway to
Heaven).  The Chairway may be another thing we’ll need somebody to tow from Fallon, NV to the playa (and back).  Here’s the info from
the last Paddler:
For the past few years, MagicMan has towed in our big generator (behind is big RV), but he’s taking a year off this year.  Each year, the
gennie is picked up in Sparks, NV (just off I-80) during early-build.  Then it’s returned on the Tuesday after Bman ends.

This year we’re renting two gennies… so we need 2 Spankers to volunteer to pick up and drop off these gennies.  One will be a 70kVA
and one will be a 110kVA.  They require a heavy duty pick-up truck, big-ass RV, or the like, to tow these monsters.

This is important.  Please contact me if you can help; admiralpainjoy@spankys.org


SWB MANAGEMENT…SET UP YOUR NEW EMAIL
Members of SWB Management should have received an email from “SpankIT” (aka Deryck, our new SWB Info Tech manager.  Please
follow the instructions in his email, and set up your new email account.
List of SWB managers is at the end of this email.


MORE ON WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
As of today, I haven’t made any changes to the work/party schedule for this year.  There is a possibility that our first one (June 5-7) may be
postponed… but it’s still 2 months away.  Liam and Donna have the Kinky Mountain Farm on STRICT LOCKDOWN until further notice
(good job guys!).  

Hopefully, widespread COVID19 testing will be available to all of us soon.  My guess is that;  1-The national infection rate will have to
have peaked and gone way down, and,  2- We all will need to have proof that we are not infected, in order to safely have/attend the
work/party.  I will give you all as much advance notice of any changes as soon as possible.  Until then, the schedule remains…

These weekends are the lifeblood of Spanky’s.  This is where we do most of our construction, organizing, and planning.  Regardless of
your skillset, there’s something for you to do.  Plus, we have a great time!
More info here: http://www.jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html
Our first work/party weekend is scheduled for June 5-7 at the Kinky Mountain Farm (Liam and Donna’s place) at 5111 Marshall Rd. in
Garden Valley, CA 95633
Here’s the full work/party weekend schedule;
June 5-7
July 10-12
Aug 22-25 (just before the early-build team departs for the playa)
Sept 9-13 (clean up and storage – after Bman)


NAMEBADGE PICS
Please begin submitting pics for your SWB namebadges.  Email to admiralpainjoy@spankys.org
Include the following:
1-        Pic for your namebadge  (if you don’t submit a pic, we will select one for you, and you probably won’t like it)  lol.   The pic can be a
headshot, or anything really… be creative.
2-        2- Your Playa-name (if you have one, otherwise use your first name – NOTE:  You can’t just make up a playa name… they have to
occur organically)
3-        A quote/title/etc. of some sort (maximum of 30 characters)

Namebadges at SWB are important.  We wear them whenever we are in camp.  It shows that you’re a member of SWB.  If you wander
behind the bar, for example, the bar manager will know that you’re a member of SWB and not some rando.  Also, our customers will
know that you’re a member of SWB and will, perhaps, feel comfortable chatting you up regarding SWB info.

When not in camp, it’s wise to clip your namebadge to your Camelback (or other bag that you bring out with you when exploring Bman).  
The namebadge has your name and playa address on it.  If you lose it, it may find its way back to SWB.  This has happened quite a few
times.

Namebadges are also a memento.  Most Spankers collect them over the years.


SWB STAPH:
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge (and RGOS – Random Guy on Site)
     admiralpainjoy@spankys.org
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons &
Cartographer & Civic Planner & Vibes
    Major-D@spankys.org
Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team
    niloc@spankys.org
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance
moves)
    redqueen@spankys.org
Dano – Lead builder (and history professor)  - Floaters/Infrastructure
    dano@spankys.org
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretakers
    eve@spankys.org
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)
    sky@spankys.org
For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators
fornowandforlater@spankys.org
Christopher Robbin- Chairman Emeritus of MOOP
    crb@spankys.org
Tripp - Bar Manager (and purveyors of dice games) – Bar Tenders and Bar Backs
    tripp@spankys.org  
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle  – Lead Mistresses - MOD Squad (and lovable
Freaks!) – Stage Dancers and Spanky’s University (Spank U)
    lazybarslut@spankys.org
    danielle@spankys.org
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)
    blackbird@spankys.org
    amethyst@spankys.org
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)
    quantum@spankys.org
Spank-IT – (Deryck) SWB IT Manager and web designer
    spankIT@spankys.org
Dirty Dan – DJs
    dirtydan@spankys.org

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet - Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
April 2020
The Un-Ticketing Edition

In this issue…
…which should be read while listening to this mashup of Disturbed & Taylor Swift –
“Down With the Sickness” (and “Blank Space”): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obBelA1srtw

        Message from the Admiral
        Bman Tickets – Refunds, Donations, Partial Donations
        SWB Camp Dues
        SWB Virtual/Viral Parties
        SWB Staph

MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
Howdy Spankeroos

I’m getting a lot of questions about what we are going to do, now that Bman is cancelled.  The short answer is… I don’t know.  

There’s talk of Juplaya, or and SWB camping trip, or regional SWB get-togethers this summer.  I know you’re all anxious to see each other
and do fun, crazy, kinky, unspeakable things…. Well, of course!  I am too  ;)   But until we see how all this CO19 crap pans out, I’m unable
to commit to any game-plan.

But rest assured.  If it’s possible (and safe), we’ll do something.  One luxury we have (as opposed to the Bman Org) is that we can put
something together rather quickly.  Probably with one month’s notice.  So there is still (some) hope that we Spankers could all see each
other, late this summer.  We’ll see.  I am keeping in touch with the BLM office to stay abreast (hehehe… I said breast) of playa closures
and camping guidelines… as well as other options/locations.

In the meantime… I hope that you (and your friends and families) are all still healthy and sane.


BURNING MAN TICKETS – REFUNDS, DONATIONS, AND PARTIAL DONATIONS
Here’s the low-down from Red Queen….

Hey Spankers,

Your friendly Spanky's Ticket Maven here. I hope you're staying home, safe from this crazy virus!!

While I know we're all bummed that we don't get to build our village as a part of Black Rock City this year, we understand the BORG's
reasoning and they're just trying to keep us all safe. But since it's not happening, you may be wondering, “So what happens with that
money I spent on my DGS ticket(s)”? Here's the scoop, as we currently know it.

You have three options of what to do with your tickets:
1. Donate the full value of your ticket to the Burning Man Project - They are going to be facing an almost insurmountable financial shortfall
this year with the loss of the ticket revenue, so if you can, they could definitely use the money from your ticket.
2. Get a partial refund of your ticket and donate part of your ticket to the Burning Man Project - If you need part of your ticket price back, but
can afford to donate some to the Burning Man Project, this is a great option to help out!
3. Get a full refund back for all portions of your ticket/fees that are refundable - Everything is refundable except the Ticket Vendor Service
Fee & Credit Card Processing Fee.

Here is how you can communicate your choice to the BORG. They hope to have the refund tool active in your burner profile (that you
purchased the tickets through - profiles.burningman.org) the week of April 27th. At that point, you will be able to choose from the three
options above. According to the BORG, they hope to have all refunds processed by early June, but they won't have a definite date until they
know who all will be requesting refunds.

NOTE:  Only the Ticket Buyers from the DGS this past February are able to access the refund/donation tool in their Burner Profiles,
soooo…….

TO DO: While we're waiting for the refund/donation tool to be set up, ticket buyers should be contacting their ticket partners (or partners
can reach out to their buyers) and find out which option they would like to do with their ticket. Also, you should get the details for how to
send them back the money, should they want a refund. If you've forgotten who your ticket buyer/partner is, please reach out to APJ or me
and we can remind you!

We'll send more details when we have them and we hope you'll join us on our regular Spanky's Virtual/Viral Parties to be able to connect
and see each other!

Love & Hugs
Red Queen


SWB CAMP DUES
As previously mentioned, we are going to carry-over SWB camp dues (for those who have already paid) to next year (Bman/SWB 2021).  
But if you have a financial emergency, let me know.

The only thing that might affect that, is if we do wind up having some kind of SWB event at the end of this summer.  But we’ll cross that
bridge when we come to it.

SWB VIRTUAL/VIRAL (V/V) PARTIES
They are so much fun… and very therapeutic!  It’s great to see all your happy faces…and other body parts ;)  After the first one, I decided to
try and have some sort of “performance” for our future V/V Parties.  So far, we’ve had a dirty magic show, aerial silk performance, music,
morning train, naked this-and-that, truth or dare, dirty Mad Libs, etc.  If you’re not attending these online parties, you’re missing out.

This Wednesday (tomorrow) at 1pm eastern (10am pacific), we will be doing another V/V party.  Since we have Spankers all over the
globe, I’m varying the times of each party.  

Feel free to wear Burner attire, or comfy quarantine clothes, or no clothes at all.  REMINDER… there will be NO RECORDING of our V/V
parties allowed.  We want everyone to feel comfortable being their fun/freaky selves.

If you’re interested in doing a performance at a future V/V party, send me a pvt message at admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

We do these parties remotely via the “Zoom” app.  You can do it with your smartphone or your computer.  Download the free app here:  
https://zoom.us/download

And here’s the link to the Wednesday SWB V/V Party (don’t click until Wednesday at 1pm eastern):
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81073832006?pwd=M1RJRko1TFZVRXB1cXhQMWlQaVJsUT09

Meeting ID: 810 7383 2006
Password: 030666

10am Pacific
11am Mountain
12pm Central
1pm Eastern
7pm South Africa/Germany
8pm Syria
1am(Thur) Singapore
2am(Thur) Jeju Island
5am(Thur) New Zealand


SWB STAPH:
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge (and RGOS – Random Guy on Site)
       admiralpainjoy@spankys.org
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons &
Cartographer & Civic Planner & Vibes
      Major-D@spankys.org
Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team
      niloc@spankys.org
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance
moves)
      redqueen@spankys.org
Dano – Lead builder (and history professor)  - Floaters/Infrastructure
      dano@spankys.org
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretakers
      eve@spankys.org
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)
      sky@spankys.org
For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators
fornowandforlater@spankys.org
Code Blue (Christopher Robbin)- Chairman Emeritus of MOOP
      crb@spankys.org
Tripp - Bar Manager (and purveyors of dice games) – Bar Tenders and Bar Backs
      tripp@spankys.org  
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle  – Lead Mistresses - MOD Squad (and lovable
Freaks!) – Stage Dancers and Spanky’s University (Spank U)
      lazybarslut@spankys.org
      danielle@spankys.org
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)
      blackbird@spankys.org
      amethyst@spankys.org
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)
      quantum@spankys.org
Spank-IT – (Deryck) SWB IT Manager and web designer
      spankIT@spankys.org
Dirty Dan – DJs
      dirtydan@spankys.org

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet - Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
June 2020


In this issue…
…which should be read while “social distancing” and listening to this fun version of - The Police’s - “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” -  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbZtFKgqXIs

        Next Viral/Virtual SWB Zoom Party
        Bman Ticket refunds
        4th of Juplaya
        Possible SWB Event in late September
        SWB Staph

SWB VIRTUAL/VIRAL (V/V) PARTY
Friday – June 19th  – 9pm (eastern) – 6pm (pacific)

They are so much fun… and very therapeutic!  It’s great to see all your happy faces…and other body parts ;)  Feel free to wear Burner
attire, or comfy quarantine clothes, or no clothes at all.  REMINDER… there will be NO RECORDING of our V/V parties allowed.  We
want everyone to feel comfortable being their fun/freaky selves.

If you’re interested in doing a performance, send me a pvt message on FB, or at admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

We do these parties remotely via the “Zoom” app.  You can do it with your smartphone or your computer.  Download the free app here:  
https://zoom.us/download

And here’s the link to the Sunday SWB V/V Party
(don’t click until Friday, when the party starts, at 9pm eastern):
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83388831075?pwd=SkFMUjVEM0NUU3c3OWlWbmhyUTQzQT09

Meeting ID: 833 8883 1075
Password: 044313

TimeZones:
6pm Pacific
7pm Mountain
8pm Central
9pm Eastern
3am(Sat) South Africa/Germany
4am(Sat) Syria
9am(Sat) Singapore
10am(Sat) Jeju Island
1pm(Sat) New Zealand


BURNING MAN TICKET REFUNDS
By now, Ticket Buyers should have gotten their refunds (or at least gotten a notice from Bman Ticketing).  If you were a Ticket Buyer (not
a Ticket Partner), and you haven’t heard hide-nor-hair from Bman yet, please contact Red Queen right away – redqueen@spankys.org

If you had a Ticket Partner, please do the math and get your partner refunded ASAP please.
Don’t remember who your Ticket Partner was?… email Red Queen.


4TH OF JUPLAYA
Spanky’s WILL NOT be doing 4th of Juplaya this year, because of COVID-19.  

Even though the quarantine is slowly being lifted… even though the playa might be open for camping… even if the number of cases is
going down… we are going to skip it this year.  It’s the right thing to do.  Plus, there are many, many people in the Bman community, the
Juplaya community, the Gerlach community, the local Native American community, and the BLM who are STRONGLY advising against
it.  And I don’t want SWB to be among “the assholes” who went to Juplaya during the pandemic.  I want to protect our good name!

If any of you are planning on going to Juplaya on your own, I strongly discourage it, but… well, it’s a free country.  But as the leader of
SWB, I am issuing a serious order.  DO NOT BRING ANY SWB STUFF WITH YOU!  THIS MEANS T-SHIRTS, MEDALLIONS, ANYTHING
WITH OUR LOGO ON IT!!!  I don’t want there to be any chance of a perception that SWB is on the playa.  Don’t even mention to anyone
that you’re with SWB… PLEASE.


POSSIBLE SWB EVENT IN LATE SEPTEMBER
I’m still working on a possible SWB event for late September.  But keep in mind… if the current situation with CO-19 doesn’t improve
(or if we get a second wave), this might not be an option.

But if things do improve… I’ve been looking into a few options;
One is a house boating trip on Lake Powell in Utah/Arizona.  Another is a playa near Las Vegas.  And another is Rabbit Valley in
western Colorado (with Moab and Arches NP day trips).  And of course, I’m keeping an eye on the situation at the Black Rock Desert.

I don’t have enough info yet to give any specifics, but the next issue of The Paddler should be much more informative.

SWB STAPH:
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge (and RGOS – Random Guy on Site)
        admiralpainjoy@spankys.org
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons &
Cartographer & Civic Planner & Vibes
       Major-D@spankys.org
Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team
       niloc@spankys.org
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance
moves)
       redqueen@spankys.org
Dano – Lead builder (and history professor)  - Floaters/Infrastructure
       dano@spankys.org
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretakers
       eve@spankys.org
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)
       sky@spankys.org
For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators
fornowandforlater@spankys.org
Code Blue (Christopher Robbin)- Chairman Emeritus of MOOP
       crb@spankys.org
Tripp - Bar Manager (and purveyors of dice games) – Bar Tenders and Bar Backs
       tripp@spankys.org  
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle  – Lead Mistresses - MOD Squad (and lovable
Freaks!) – Stage Dancers and Spanky’s University (Spank U)
       lazybarslut@spankys.org
       danielle@spankys.org
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)
       blackbird@spankys.org
       amethyst@spankys.org
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)
       quantum@spankys.org
Spank-IT – (Deryck) SWB IT Manager and web designer
       spankIT@spankys.org
Dirty Dan – DJs
       dirtydan@spankys.org

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet - Twisted