Spanky's Wine Bar
“We tried so hard to be adults, but just look at us... just fucking look!!!"
The Paddler
The monthly newsletter for Spanky's Wine Bar
The Paddler
January 2018
The Monthly Newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
(All the news that fits, we print)

In this issue
…which should be read while listening to this Bootie Mashup- “Here Comes the Light” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5ywBl2YA5Y

-        The Admiral’s Rave
-        A Year of Considerable Loss
-        Plans for SWB 2018
-        2018 Burning Man Tickets/Passes (The DGS)
-        The “Spankier Than Thou” game… just for fun
-        LoveBurn! (upcoming event January 26-28)
-        SWB Staph

ADMIRAL’S RAVE
Looking back on what we did last year, all I can say is, Wow… we “knocked it out of the park”!  Our 10th Anniversary was fantastic.  My
thanks go out to everyone.  

The Devil Lives in the Details:
I specifically want to thank Elisha (Mafesto), who created our beautiful, 10th Anniversary namebadges (as I forgot to mention her
herculean efforts during my opening speech on the playa).  Most of you would be surprised at how much effort goes into the details of
Spanky’s (details like a seemingly-simple namebadge).  Being that a standard work-week is 40 hours, how many hours would you
guess goes into the namebadges?  20?  40?  100?  Nope.  Between the conceptualizing, graphic design work, collection of data and
photos, templating and layout, cross-checking, printing and laminating, trimming, adding clasps, shipping, insertion into welcome packs,
and distribution… the namebadge project for 300ish people takes upwards of 200 man/hours (and this work is done in July/Aug… when
we’re all scrambling to get our shit together for the playa).  So the next time you see Mafesto, give her a hug and a Spanky’s High-Five ;)

And the namebadges are but one small detail that made up the dozens and dozens of memorable details in our village this year.  
Everybody who helped create the best Spanky’s yet should give themselves a big pat-on-the-back.  What started as an idea in my twisted
mind, back in 2007 has evolved into a renowned, beloved Burning Man institution.  Thank you all for making my kinky-dream into a
fantastic reality!

Our SWB events filled the BASS to capacity and kicked ass this past year.  I recall, during Spank-dat-Bootie, it was a wind-less night… but
SWB was a huge dust storm, unto itself, from all the dust that was kicked up from all the dancing!  The Festival of Bubastis was a rager
too.  Did anyone else see that pink-pantied-pervert being forced to do unspeakable things on the center stage?  Wild.


A YEAR OF CONSIDERABLE LOSS
Sadly though, 2016/2017 was also a year of mourning for our village.  Homage was paid to many of our fallen playa-compatriots and
family members.  Most notably, fellow Spanker Mungo, our friend Ranger Bourbon, my Step Dad (SWB accountant), and Alex Steneck
(PlayaQ founder, Soss Boss).  The PlayaQ camp came back together to honor Alex with one final Rock Star Dinner, one final Carne
Armada attack, and massive food give-aways.  Thanks to all who worked on the food, the infrastructure, and those events.   The Bman
Founders and other members of First Camp are still singing the praises of PlayaQ and The Carne Armada!  And personally, I have never
seen the PlayaQ do a better, more elaborate Rock Star Dinner.  All hail the Q!  (and fuck you, Soss Boss ;)  Even in death, you’re still
creating new friendships – and making us work our asses off!)  

And, as most of you saw on FB, we lost our dear friend (and Spanker) Sheri LaFurge last month.  Sheri finally succumb to cancer.  Sheri’s
cousin, Lady Victoria, will be organizing a service for Sheri at The Temple this year.  Our hearts are aching.


PLANS FOR SWB 2018
Many rumors have been floating about.  I know this because I started quite a few of them ;)
Two camps (Nothing Camp & Spanky’s) is no longer an option… too hard to get enough Bman tix for Nothing Camp.
So here’s the final game-plan for SWB 2018…

Our 10th Anniversary endeavors yielded more than I’d hoped for in 2017, but it was also a technically difficult and physically laborsome
undertaking for most of us.  Most of us were utterly exhausted by the end.  So this year, we will return to our roots.  We are going to scale-
back in 2018.  I’m sure you’ll all agree that we’ve earned a break in 2018.  We need to shrug the yoke of oppressive responsibility this
year.  Therefore, I will be leading a very simple version of Spanky’s this summer (similar to “Spanky’s Mini-Bar” in 2011).

We will request to be a “placed village”, as usual.  We will still have our BASS, our bar, a small sound-system, and a couple of kink toys.  
We will have our existing power grid (not the huge one from last year), one generator (not four), one rental truck (not four), and a shower.  
We will be doing what we do best.  We’ll be an eclectic, fun, kinky bar.  There will be no set “work-shift” schedule.  There will be no
appetizer program.  No camp kitchen/sanctuary.  No DJ booth.  No kink tent.  No Tunnel of Glove.  Early build and break-down/mooping
will be a breeze (compared to recent years).  Camp dues will go down a bit.  Labor requirements will also go down.  And there will be no
senior-management team… just me.

But that is NOT to say that 2018 will be a lazy free-for-all.  We are not “resting on our laurels”… just scaling back.  There WILL still be work
to do.  There will be project leaders (just not senior management).  Spanky’s will still be entertaining, wine-ing, and abusing the masses
;)  We will all still abide the core values of Spanky’s and Burning Man.  And everyone will still need to “sign up” and pay camp dues.

Sub-camps within Spanky’s are still welcomed to be a part of the village.  They can have some limited power, from the grid.  But aside
from that, they will be completely self-sufficient… doing their own set-up, staffing, break-down, and MOOPing.

P.S. – Don’t get complacent this year… I have grandiose plans for SWB2019!  ;)


2018 BURNING MAN TICKETS/PASSES (THE DGS)
Burning Man Tickets/Passes go on sale soon.   Every year, some of you screw up in the ticket sales.  I’m not sure if you’re ignorant or
apathetic… frankly, I don’t know and I don’t care ;)
Point is… READ ALL THE INFO!  I’m not bailing people out this year.  Fail to prepare = prepare to fail

IMPORTANT TICKET INFO…
1-        You MUST update your Burner Profile (on the Bman website) in order to buy tix in ANY sale.  Do it now, so you don’t forget.  https:
//profiles.burningman.org/
2-        DGS (Directed Group Sale) tickets will probably be available to Spanker’s again this year.  They are reserved for those who are
important to the creation of Spanky’s, running Spanky’s during Bman, breaking-down and MOOPing the village at the end, attending
work/party weekends, etc.
3-        SWB will be applying for DGS tickets/passes (no guarantees that we get them, or how many)
4-        If you want to buy a DGS ticket/pass through Spanky’s, you will need to let me know ASAP… between now and February 12th, via
email: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com  
5-        You can buy up to 2 tickets and 1 car pass in the DGS.  I will be pairing-up those who aren’t paired-up already, as usual, so that
DGS tix don’t go to waste.  If you’re buying 2 tickets, let me know who the 2nd one is for.  Also, let me know if you need a vehicle pass.
6-        Tickets in the DGS (and Main Sale) cost $425.00.  Vehicle passes cost $80.00
7-        You DON’T need to register with Bman for DGS tickets… I (Admiral Painjoy) register you for the DGS with Bman.  (You do need to
register for Bman tix in the Pre Sale and the Main Sale though.)
8-        To get a DGS ticket, you must have already signed up to camp with Spanky’s, on the SWB website:  www.spankyswinebar.com  Go
to the “Sign Up” page.
9-        And priority on DGS tickets goes to those who have already paid Camp Dues

The three other ticket sales that concern us soon are:
1-        The Pre-Sale (Registration is Jan 24-26 – The Sale Date is Jan 31st).  These are the super-expensive tickets that help fund Bman
stuff ($990.00 or $1200.00 each).  If you can afford these… great.  You’re helping Bman and easing the ticket-burden for SWB.
2-        The Main Sale (Registration is March 21 – 23 – The Sale Date is March 28th).  
3-        The Low Income Ticket Program (Registration is Feb 14th – April 16th)
PLEASE READ all the info about Bman ticket sales here:  https://tickets.burningman.org/


THE “SPANKIER THAN THOU” GAME… JUST FOR FUN
No need to reply with results.  This is just for fun.  (Taken from the SWB FB page)… LOL
(one point for each “yes” answer)
___  I have camped with SWB for more than 5 years
___  I have attended Juplaya with SWB
___  I know the correct response to, “Your heart may belong to the man….. “
___  I have been a guest at 3 (or more) other Spankers homes, in the default world
___  I have (at least) one piece of Lucky Bastard’s art on my wall at home
___  I have been to work/party weekends at all 3 Skunkworks… Joey’s, Donny’s, AND Liam’s
___  I know eLeM’s real last name AND how to spell it
___  I have ridden the Orgasmator (for males, I have helped build or break-down the Orgasmator)
___  I camped at the conGLOMerate village (the precursor village to SWB)
___  I have helped set up the BASS
___  I have been fondled (or fondled somebody else) at the Groping Booth (or Tunnel of Glove)
___  I have DJ’d at Spanky’s
___  I have been an eyewitness to an APJ orgasm
___  I have administered spankings with the Spank-O-Matic
___  I have ridden the Teeter Totter of Death AND the Chairway to Heaven tower
___  I have helped APJ with SWB paperwork or SWB projects at his house
___  I have been shackled to the bondage wall at SWB
___  I have danced on one of the SWB stages
___  I have been one of the first 12 Spankers on-playa for Early Build
___  I have been one of the last 12 Spankers on-playa for Break-down and MOOPing
___  I have (or have had) an SWB bumper-sticker on my vehicle
___  I have received a compliment (or other positive feedback) from Mayor Joey
___  I have been an SWB driver (drove an SWB truck… or left the playa to run an SWB errand)
___  I have given an honest description of SWB to my default-world biological family
___  I have served as Camp Bitch at SWB
___  I have argued with Major-D
___  I have had sex with a fellow Spanker, and loved it
___  I have had sex with a fellow Spanker, and regretted it
___  I have ridden on (at least) one of SWB’s art cars
___  I have been on an SWB art car when it broke-down on the playa
___  I have participated in a Carne Armada attack
___  I have given somebody a “Spanky’s High-Five”… off-playa
___  I have dog-eared a copy of the What/Where/When guide, to mark SWB events
___  I have had a full-blown “playa meltdown” at SWB
___  I have helped a fellow Spanker get through a “playa meltdown”
___  I have done an ice-run for SWB
___  I have helped to create art-work for SWB (artistic painting, graphic-design, swag, etc.)
___  I own sex toys that I consider “too nice to bring to Spanky’s”
___  There is a picture of me on the internet wearing an SWB medallion/necklace
___  I feel that “butt plug” is an acceptable answer to most questions
___  I have been personally mentioned in an issue of The Paddler
___  My picture (or my art/project) is on the SWB website
___  I know the two foods that APJ doesn’t like
___  I know two of the foods that Lucky Bastard does like
___  I sometimes think of a fellow Spanker when I masturbate
___  More than half of my current friends are Spankers
___  I have more pics of Spankers on my computer (FB included) than my biological family
___  I can recite (at least) 3 of SWB’s mottos from memory
___  I have had a problem solved for me by either Naked Larry, Gunny, or Fergus
___  I know what Painjoy’s title was before he was “Admiral”


LOVE BURN!
Love Burn is the Florida Regional Burning Man Event.  It’s coming up VERY soon, but it’s not too late to get tix and go!  I believe that
Scooter still has some tix available:  samedaysignssouth@gmail.com or you can get them through the LoveBurn website:
https://theloveburn.com/
Love Burn was created by (and is run by) Spankers Quantum Glen & Prosperity Angel.  It’s held on an island just off Miami.  It’s amazing.  
Myself and other Spankers will be there (but we’re not creating Spanky’s Wine Bar there).  However, Scooter sets up The Buffer Zone
there (this year it will be a full-on spa!)


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)
    jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – Camp Engineer
    dougl@fed-specs.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee
    lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Burning Man Ticket Maven
    ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Master Fucking Amazing (aka Liam) – Lead Builder
    wmsmith1962@yahoo.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
    crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Nima – Bar Managers
    rachel.hundley@gmail.com
    nimashemirani@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD
    srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird – RV Services Manager (with Amethyst)
    mwharri01@gmail.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
    lightupwire@gmail.com
Scooter – BufferZone Manager & SWB Marketing Director
    samedaysignssouth@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler

February 2018 – Directed Ticket Edition
(We won’t do anything to you today… that you won’t beg for again tomorrow)

Special issue…
…which should be read while listening to this hauntingly beautiful cover of- “Creep” (Radiohead), by Julia Westlin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSxi-1Oz1aw

2018 BURNING MAN TICKETS/PASSES (THE DGS)
The DGS (Directed Group Sale) of Bman Tickets (aka Directed Tickets) will be happening VERY soon.  I have been compiling a list of
Spankers who are interested in being considered for these tickets.  The absolute deadline for signing up for DGS tix is Thursday.  
Then this list will be submitted to the Bman Org.  The Actual DGS “SALE” will begin on Wednesday, February 28.

For those who don’t know, “Directed Tickets” are tickets to Burning Man that are allocated to theme camps (and villages), art cars, and
art projects… but not just any theme camps, etc.  They are only offered to those that have a great track-record at Bman (and a good
moop rating).  And these Directed Tix are reserved for key members of the camp/village.  Those people without whom, the camp
wouldn’t be able to be built/function.  As in past years, the Bman Org. has allocated a healthy amount of DGS tickets to Spanky’s… yay!

If you (and/or your partner, friend, wife, husband, mate, b/f, g/f, slave, master, mistress, etc.) want to be considered for Directed Tix to
Bman, let me know NOW!  Keep in mind the following;
READ ALL OF THIS!!!
1-        You must email me (if you haven’t already) to let me know that you want to be considered for a DGS ticket: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.
com
2-        You need to sign-up on the Spanky’s website to be considered for a Spanky’s DGS ticket www.spankyswinebar.com
3-        You must have an up-to-date “burner profile” on the Bman website.  I won’t be able to enter you into the DGS sale if you don’t do
this!  https://profiles.burningman.org/
4-        You must also have an up-to-date account with “Ticketfly” (the Bman ticket vendor).  
http://www.ticketfly.com/
5-        All DGS ticket purchasers must also pay camp dues.  You don’t have to pay dues now… but if we don’t have enough DGS tix, I
give preference to those kick-ass Spankers who have already paid camp dues.  http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html
6-        Asking for a Directed Ticket doesn’t guarantee you will get one.  Directed Tickets are for members of Spanky’s who are
committed to working hard to make our village a success!  But if you DON’T ask me for one by this coming Thursday… you’ll surely
miss the boat.
7-        If you aren’t going to camp at Spanky’s Village, you can’t buy a Spanky’s DGS ticket.
8-        You need to be able to pay for the Bman tickets (and car passes) at the time of the sale.  The DGS begins on Wednesday, Feb.
28th.
9-        Tickets cost $425.00 (plus tax, fees, etc).  Car passes are still $80.00 each.  Make sure you have enough money available on
your credit/debit card to make the purchase!
10-        DGS tickets are offered in pairs.  If you are not purchasing two (one for you, and one for your mate), you will be partnered-up
with another Spanker.  We do this so that we can maximize the number of Directed Tix we get each year.
11-        When Spankers are “paired-up”, one of the pair will purchase the 2 tickets and 1 car pass (the purchaser), and the other (the
partner) will pay the purchaser for their ticket
12-        The “purchaser” can only buy 2 tix and 1 car pass.  This often causes a problem- not enough car passes.  Don’t worry.  We
always get our hands on enough car passes for everyone come summertime.  Every purchaser must buy a car pass (if you don’t need
it, another Spanker will buy it from you).  We need all the car passes we can get our hands on.
13-        If you buy a Directed Ticket through SWB, then decide later that you can’t go to Bman… your ticket MUST be sold to another
Spanker.  Directed Tix HAVE TO BE USED BY THE CAMP TO WHICH THEY WERE ALLOCATED!  Selling your Directed Ticket to
somebody outside of Spanky’s runs the SERIOUS risk of having ALL of Spanky’s Directed tix VOIDED by Bman!  No Shit.  For Realz.  
Not even kidding.
14-        Each year, we have some important Spankers who are “cash poor” at this time of year (seasonal income, tax season, etc), but
always have money in April/May/June.  With that in mind, we are looking for Spankers who can purchase a spare DGS ticket and hang
on to it, until those (presently) cash-poor Spankers can buy the ticket from you.  Please email me if you’re in a position to do this for us.
15-        If you’re selected for the Spanky’s DGS… I will be submitting your name to “Bman Ticketing”.  Then Bman Tickketing will
contact you by email, a few days later, with the final info about the DGS.  Be sure to check the email inbox from the email address that
you used in your Bman “Burner Profile”!
More info about ALL Bman ticket sales here:  https://tickets.burningman.org/

COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE… Further info and clarification about what Spanky’s Village will be this year.  It’s going to be fan-freakin-
tastic.  Trust your Admiral.  He is good.  He is wise.  ;)
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
February 2018 – Part 2
(We would love to serve you… but we’re all tied up right now)

In this issue…
…which should be read while listening to Moby’s remix of OMD’s “Souvenir”:
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHJLX_hctsg

LAST CHANCE TO REQUEST TICKETS IN THE DGS
FURTHER CLARIFICATION ON WHAT SPANKY’S VILLAGE WILL BE THIS YEAR
SWB STAPH
***********************  

LAST CHANCE TO REQUESST TICKETS IN THE DGS
Tomorrow is the deadline Spankers!  If you want to get guaranteed Bman tix, and you’re willing to be a productive member of the village, ya
gotta lemme know… NOW.

The last issue of The Paddler lists the steps you need to take… and explains the DGS.  Click this link and scroll down to the February
“Directed Ticket Edition” of The Paddler:
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html


FURTHER CLARIFICATION ON WHAT SPANKY’S VILLAGE WILL BE THIS YEAR…
After the January Paddler, some people panicked a bit… don’t worry… read on…
        We will still be a placed Theme Camp and Village this year.  But after 10 years, culminating in last years HUGE 10 year anniversary…
Admiral Painjoy needs a bit of a break this year.  So we’re scaling back on some things.
        We will have our original/existing power grid.  See the SWB website (infrastructure page) for more info on power limitations.
        Dragger, Blackbird, and Amethyst plan on organizing additional power for RVs (at extra cost – and separate from Spanky’s power
grid), for those power-hungry brats that need it… or even just want it… sissies ;)  More details on that on the SWB website also.  (Pricing
coming soon)
        Blackbird and Amethyst will still be organizing RV pump-outs and water refills as usual
        We will have a camp shower
        We will have big shade, and our bar, and music (only one bar… and the sound system will be smaller and simpler).
        We will have kink toys… just not ALL of them.  We will have the bondage wall, Spank-O-Matic (rumors abound about a new one, built
by Sky)… maybe more if we can fit them into the truck)
        We will only have one Big-Ass Rental Truck this year… not two… not three.  We want Spanky’s to be easier to set-up and break-down
this year.  So we will be cutting back on the number of structures we bring/build
        There will be no set work-shift schedule this year.  Honor system.  But everyone is still expected to help out with stuff.  
        Everyone is still required (at the end of the week) to help with break-down and MOOP on Sunday/Monday
        Eve will be creating a small kitchen this year… but not nearly as big as last year.  More info on that coming soon.
        We will be cutting back on some of the extras this year (no big welcome packs and complicated placement system, no t-shirts or
medallions or bumper stickers, shortened camp meeting, no namebadges, etc.)   These things are all great… but they consume massive
amounts of my time (and others).  I need a break this year.  We will get back to all those things next year.
        This year, our big shade/bar area will be more like it was in early years.  Here’s what I mean…  

In the early years of Spanky’s, the Big Ass Shade Structure (BASS) was our camp/village’s community space… our kinky living room (if you
will), with a bar, toys, and music.  We would all hang out there (in the shade and breeze) during the day… nurse hangovers, have food and
drinks, tell stories, listen to Morning Painjoy Radio, goof off, have contests, etc.  It was laid back and fun.   At night, we’d turn on the lights,
turn the music a little louder, dance and party, play games, pump up the kink, etc.  

Of course, all burners were welcome in our community space.  But back then, it was like we were sharing OUR space with the citizens of
Black Rock City.  “Welcome to Spanky’s… this is our camp… come join us, want a drink?”… was the vibe.  We would invite passing Burners
into OUR space.  And Spanky’s became a very popular/famous place for Burners to hang out… with Spankers.  This is how we grew our
brand.

Over the years, our BASS and Wine Bar have lost a bit of that vibe.  We now throw BIG parties.  We have BIG events.  We host hot DJs.  It’s
usually pretty loud and raucous.  It’s every night (and many days too).  And it takes a lot of work, planning, money, security, equipment,
supervision, etc. to pull it off.  Don’t get me wrong… this isn’t a bad thing.  I love the big parties.  But we’re starting to lose something…

In recent years, the bar and BASS area has started becoming a place for Burners, where we (Spankers) serve and cater to them… it’s slowly
becoming their space… not OUR shared space.  Spanky’s is becoming a venue.

Nowadays, many Spankers only go to the bar/BASS area when it’s their turn to do their workshifts.  When they want to hang-out, drink, enjoy
themselves, etc., they go to their RV with friends, or Blackbird’s Lair, or my camping area, or, or, or… but they don’t hang out at the BASS/Bar.  
Too hectic, too loud, too chaotic, too many strangers.

This year I’d like to show you all a bit of how it used to be… a glimpse into how it began… and how much fun it is to have our camp be “our
camp”.  You’ll experience more organic events and happenings.  You’ll get to know more Spankers.  You’ll feel a stronger sense of Spanky’s
community, family, and love.  And you’ll be able to meet and interact in a more meaningful way with the Burners that visit Spanky’s.  

And we will still have a couple big events this year.  I know Dragger and Lazer will be hosting The Great Canadian Beaver Eating Contest
again this year… yay!  Lazer will be doing the Electro-Swing Party.  I’ll ask Adrian about doing a slightly more low-key “renegade” MashUp
party (aka Spank Dat Bootie).  But as for the rest of it… well… that’s up to you… to us.  If you have an idea for a fun event, contest, game, etc.
this year, guess what?  The schedule is pretty damn open.  Contact me.  We’ll chat about it.  It’s your camp!  Be part of the creative process.
~Admiral Painjoy~

SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)… knows stuff
      jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
      dougl@fed-specs.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee
      lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven
      ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Master Fucking Amazing (aka Liam) – Builds stuff
      wmsmith1962@yahoo.com
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
      agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
      john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, and stuff like that
      ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
      crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp – Bar Managers and lushes
      rachel.hundley@gmail.com
      tripp3857@comcast.net
Dirty Dan – DJ… weirdo
      djdirtydan@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
      srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
      mwharri01@gmail.com
      izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
      lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
April 2018
“Most welcome bondage, thou art, me thinks, a way to liberty”  
William Shakespeare –Cymbeline – Act 5, Scene 4

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: Ya Hey! by Vampire Weekend (Covered by Phosphorescent):  https://www.
youtube.com/watch?v=xZMcbVAxDm8

        WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
        CAMP DUES
        BMAN TICKET INFO
        RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER – if you don’t read this, you’ll die! (if you do read this, you’ll    still die… you should come to
terms with the fact that you’re mortal, and some day… you’ll die.)
        EARLY-BUILD – WORK ACCESS PASSES
        MOOP
        SWB STAPH
***********************  
WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our Work/Party Weekends.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  We will be having 2
or 3 work/party weekends at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka The Skunkworks… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden
Valley, CA 95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many
hands make light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake,
a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property
with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.

SCHEDULE:
1-        The first one is tentatively scheduled for May 18-20 (Thursday-Sunday)… formal announcement/confirmation will be made soon.
2-        The second one will be August 17-20 (Friday-Monday) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sunday/Monday)… then depart
for the playa on Wednesday for Early-Build.
3-        The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the
truck, re-organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the
most fun, and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!

AIRPORT/BARDELLO WORK WEEKENDS
Many of you have noticed that Liam and Donna have been hosting “non-Spanky’s” work weekends as well.  Here’s the story regarding
that;
Liam is working on getting the contract to build a large part of the Burning Man Airport this year (structures, power, a/c, etc).  He and
Donna have a crew that are gearing up for this.  And since the airport is out near the trash fence at Bman (and they will need to maintain
the structures/equipment during the event) they are planning on building a camp out near the airport as well.
These “airport work weekends” are not related to Spanky’s work weekends, but of course, Spankers are welcomed to come help, if so
inclined.

CAMP DUES
Please pay your camp dues ASAP, if you haven’t already.  This is the time of year when we pay for some of the big-ticket items like
generators, rental trucks, construction supplies, etc.  Dues can be paid on the SWB website or you can mail a check.  More info here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html

BMAN TICKET INFO
Still don’t have a Bman ticket?  I may be able to help.  (See the Bman website for more info on tickets, deadlines, and definitions) https:
//tickets.burningman.org/
The DGS ticket sale and the Main Sale are now done.  But all hope is not lost…
1-        You can still purchase the “Limited $1200.00” tickets, directly from Bman, if you’re able to afford them.  
2-        Low Income Tickets are still available (if you qualify).  The deadline for application is April 16th
3-        There is one more general ticket sale in July/August called the “OMG Last Chance” sale
4-        STEP is opening April 25th (Bman’s Secure Ticket Exchange Program)
5-        There may be another DGS ticket sale in the summer for SWB
6-        Spanky’s still has a few DGS tickets available from the first sale, but these are special tickets and are only for certain Spankers…  
•        There are Spankers who qualify for DGS tickets that didn’t have money (or weren’t yet signed-up in Jan/Feb, when the sale
happened).  So a few Spankers graciously purchased a spare ticket for those who weren’t ready.
•        DGS tickets are ONLY for Spankers that are truly committed to helping to build, run, break-down, and MOOP.  Hard workers!
•        DGS tickets are for Spankers ONLY!  You may not camp elsewhere if you purchase a DGS ticket
•        DGS tickets can’t be re-sold outside of SWB.  If for some reason you decide to not go to Bman (or camp elsewhere), your DGS ticket
MUST be sold back to a Spanker-in-need of a ticket
•        Contact me (Admiral Painjoy) if you want to purchase one of these spare DGS tickets: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER
RV Pumping and Fresh Water Re-Fills:
(prices should be close to the same as last year – exact prices coming in next issue)

Mark H (aka Blackbird) and Rod H (his trusty partner, Amethyst) are the Spankers who coordinate the RV pumpings, fresh-water refills,
and dedicated RV Power.  The cut-off date for securing/paying for these services is a couple months out… but these services MUST be
paid in advance.

These services are provided by vendors, for a fee (“United Site Services” does the pump outs – “YoYo Water Supply” does the water
refills, “cAMP-power” does the dedicated RV electricity).  These fees are collected well in advance of Bman.
Pump-outs and fresh-water refill costs will be posted in the next Paddler.  Dedicated RV electric costs vary according to your needs (see
below).

If you are in an RV at Bman, getting these services is a VERY good idea.  It’s really hard to get through the week without at least one
pump-out and water refill, especially if you have more than one person in your RV, or if you’re on-playa for more than seven days.

Email Blackbird now if you need these RV services on the playa:  mwharri01@gmail.com
You will need to know the day(s) you want pumpings/refills, and the approx. size of your holding tanks.  He will give you more info on how
the process works.  You can pay by check or PayPal.

RV Power in SWB:
We do have power in Spanky’s Village, but the primary reason for this is running our bar, sound system, lighting, our many attractions,
sub-camps, etc.  But we will have limited power available for a limited number of RVs, yurts, and tents.  But there are restrictions and
limitations (i.e. not enough power for running your A/C).  Please refer to the website for more details:  http://www.jimhillas.
org/infrastructure.html


Here’s more info (from Dragger) about electrical power options in Spanky’s:
RV "cAMP power" 2018

Option 1:  Camp in the SWB “general camping area” and share 15Amp circuits — fine for charging your cell phone, batteries, (and on
most RVs), powering lights, and other misc. small things (but not Air Conditioners)…. And 100% gluten-free!

Option 2:  Run your own RVs onboard-generator (if it has one) when you want to use the A/C, microwave, or other high-power items

Option 3: Buy dedicated power
For RVs in the "cAMP-power" area, you will have two RV options, which are similar to what you find in an RV park:

A.      30Amp service for $450.00, good for one Air Conditioner RVs (actually a single-pole 30A circuit breaker dedicated to your RV and
appropriate cords and adapters to connect to your RV).
B.     50Amp service for $650.00, good for two Air Conditioner RVs (actually a double-pole, 30A or 50A circuit breaker dedicated to your RV
and appropriate cords and adapters to connect to your RV).

What you need to know about LOLA power:
1.      No guarantees.  This is Burning Man and we spend lots of money just to try to get this together at 4000’ elevation, in high
temperatures, wind, and dust.  You know this, so what you pay for is our best efforts to deliver this power to you—no refunds.  In EVERY
year, we have problems with our generators and most of the time, we are able to fix them.
2.     We plan to operate 18 hours per day, but that may be significantly more or less, depending on what happens (remember, it IS
Burning Man)
3.     Payment must be made in full when you make Pump-Out and Water commitments through Blackbird (the SWB RV-Services
Coordinator)
4.   NOTE: If you sign-up for RV power, you will be placed/camped in the "cAPM power" area, near camp Lola —we don’t plan to run RV
power cables throughout all of Spanky's Village... far too expensive.
5     Questions?  Contact Blackbird at mwharri01@gmail.com.  If he can't answer your question, he'll forward it to me.
~Dragger~   


EARLY BUILD (WORK ACCESS PASSES)
These were called Early Arrival Passes (EAPs) in past years; now they are called Work Access Passes (WAPs).  

The gates to Bman don’t officially open until Sunday, Aug. 26th, but…

Every year, Spanky’s gets a limited number of WAPs from the Bman Org.  You can’t get into Bman before Aug 26th without a WAP.  These
WAPs are for people who want to come early and help build Spanky’s.  I don’t know how many we will be getting this year.  I won’t know
until July… but if you’re interested, and need to know soon, for logistical reasons (booking flights, renting RVs, etc), you can request a
WAP now.

“Early Build” is an honor, and a lot of work… and lots of fun too.  It’s pretty cool being on the playa and watching the city being built.  After
the final pre-burn work/party weekend, we will be loading the big-ass truck on Monday, Aug 20th, then departing The Kinky Mountain
Farm on Wednesday morning, Aug 22nd.  On Wednesday night, we hit the playa running…and we work and build and organize and
decorate and, and, and… until it’s done.  If we have everything built in time (Saturday), we will host a “soft opening party” on Saturday
night, to “work out the kinks” for Bman’s opening the following day.

I select “Early Arrivals” based on a few factors:
1-        Your past track record with SWB
2-        How early can you arrive?  Helping us load and driving out will us nearly assures you a WAP.   (Arriving on Friday or Saturday, just
before Bman opens, isn’t much help)
3-        Your skill set… how handy are you?  Construction skills are great, but we need all types of people to do a multitude of tasks
4-        You are a sexy young female, willing to make all of APJs fantasies come true ;)


MOOP
MOOP (Matter Out Of Place, for you newbies) is the Burning Man term for trash, litter, and well, frankly anything that doesn’t naturally
belong on the playa (i.e. dust, tiny rocks, and the corpses of our enemies).  Playa Restoration and the Placement Team just sent an
email to Christopher Robbin and I, congratulating us on our improved MOOP rating in 2017… so yay!  Good job Spankers!  But there is
still room for improvement in 2018.  So please, take the time to read this:
https://burningman.org/event/preparation/leaving-no-trace/ (click on each bullet point/link at the right side of the webpage, and read away!)


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)… knows stuff
       jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
       dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
       lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
       agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
       john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
       ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
       crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
       rachel.hundley@gmail.com
       tripp3857@comcast.net
       rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak
       djdirtydan@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
       srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
       mwharri01@gmail.com
       izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
       lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted