Spanky's Wine Bar
“We tried so hard to be adults, but just look at us... just fucking look!!!"
The Paddler
The monthly newsletter for Spanky's Wine Bar
The Paddler
January 2018
The Monthly Newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
(All the news that fits, we print)

In this issue
…which should be read while listening to this Bootie Mashup- “Here Comes the Light” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5ywBl2YA5Y

-        The Admiral’s Rave
-        A Year of Considerable Loss
-        Plans for SWB 2018
-        2018 Burning Man Tickets/Passes (The DGS)
-        The “Spankier Than Thou” game… just for fun
-        LoveBurn! (upcoming event January 26-28)
-        SWB Staph

ADMIRAL’S RAVE
Looking back on what we did last year, all I can say is, Wow… we “knocked it out of the park”!  Our 10th Anniversary was fantastic.  My
thanks go out to everyone.  

The Devil Lives in the Details:
I specifically want to thank Elisha (Mafesto), who created our beautiful, 10th Anniversary namebadges (as I forgot to mention her
herculean efforts during my opening speech on the playa).  Most of you would be surprised at how much effort goes into the details of
Spanky’s (details like a seemingly-simple namebadge).  Being that a standard work-week is 40 hours, how many hours would you
guess goes into the namebadges?  20?  40?  100?  Nope.  Between the conceptualizing, graphic design work, collection of data and
photos, templating and layout, cross-checking, printing and laminating, trimming, adding clasps, shipping, insertion into welcome packs,
and distribution… the namebadge project for 300ish people takes upwards of 200 man/hours (and this work is done in July/Aug… when
we’re all scrambling to get our shit together for the playa).  So the next time you see Mafesto, give her a hug and a Spanky’s High-Five ;)

And the namebadges are but one small detail that made up the dozens and dozens of memorable details in our village this year.  
Everybody who helped create the best Spanky’s yet should give themselves a big pat-on-the-back.  What started as an idea in my twisted
mind, back in 2007 has evolved into a renowned, beloved Burning Man institution.  Thank you all for making my kinky-dream into a
fantastic reality!

Our SWB events filled the BASS to capacity and kicked ass this past year.  I recall, during Spank-dat-Bootie, it was a wind-less night… but
SWB was a huge dust storm, unto itself, from all the dust that was kicked up from all the dancing!  The Festival of Bubastis was a rager
too.  Did anyone else see that pink-pantied-pervert being forced to do unspeakable things on the center stage?  Wild.


A YEAR OF CONSIDERABLE LOSS
Sadly though, 2016/2017 was also a year of mourning for our village.  Homage was paid to many of our fallen playa-compatriots and
family members.  Most notably, fellow Spanker Mungo, our friend Ranger Bourbon, my Step Dad (SWB accountant), and Alex Steneck
(PlayaQ founder, Soss Boss).  The PlayaQ camp came back together to honor Alex with one final Rock Star Dinner, one final Carne
Armada attack, and massive food give-aways.  Thanks to all who worked on the food, the infrastructure, and those events.   The Bman
Founders and other members of First Camp are still singing the praises of PlayaQ and The Carne Armada!  And personally, I have never
seen the PlayaQ do a better, more elaborate Rock Star Dinner.  All hail the Q!  (and fuck you, Soss Boss ;)  Even in death, you’re still
creating new friendships – and making us work our asses off!)  

And, as most of you saw on FB, we lost our dear friend (and Spanker) Sheri LaFurge last month.  Sheri finally succumb to cancer.  Sheri’s
cousin, Lady Victoria, will be organizing a service for Sheri at The Temple this year.  Our hearts are aching.


PLANS FOR SWB 2018
Many rumors have been floating about.  I know this because I started quite a few of them ;)
Two camps (Nothing Camp & Spanky’s) is no longer an option… too hard to get enough Bman tix for Nothing Camp.
So here’s the final game-plan for SWB 2018…

Our 10th Anniversary endeavors yielded more than I’d hoped for in 2017, but it was also a technically difficult and physically laborsome
undertaking for most of us.  Most of us were utterly exhausted by the end.  So this year, we will return to our roots.  We are going to scale-
back in 2018.  I’m sure you’ll all agree that we’ve earned a break in 2018.  We need to shrug the yoke of oppressive responsibility this
year.  Therefore, I will be leading a very simple version of Spanky’s this summer (similar to “Spanky’s Mini-Bar” in 2011).

We will request to be a “placed village”, as usual.  We will still have our BASS, our bar, a small sound-system, and a couple of kink toys.  
We will have our existing power grid (not the huge one from last year), one generator (not four), one rental truck (not four), and a shower.  
We will be doing what we do best.  We’ll be an eclectic, fun, kinky bar.  There will be no set “work-shift” schedule.  There will be no
appetizer program.  No camp kitchen/sanctuary.  No DJ booth.  No kink tent.  No Tunnel of Glove.  Early build and break-down/mooping
will be a breeze (compared to recent years).  Camp dues will go down a bit.  Labor requirements will also go down.  And there will be no
senior-management team… just me.

But that is NOT to say that 2018 will be a lazy free-for-all.  We are not “resting on our laurels”… just scaling back.  There WILL still be work
to do.  There will be project leaders (just not senior management).  Spanky’s will still be entertaining, wine-ing, and abusing the masses
;)  We will all still abide the core values of Spanky’s and Burning Man.  And everyone will still need to “sign up” and pay camp dues.

Sub-camps within Spanky’s are still welcomed to be a part of the village.  They can have some limited power, from the grid.  But aside
from that, they will be completely self-sufficient… doing their own set-up, staffing, break-down, and MOOPing.

P.S. – Don’t get complacent this year… I have grandiose plans for SWB2019!  ;)


2018 BURNING MAN TICKETS/PASSES (THE DGS)
Burning Man Tickets/Passes go on sale soon.   Every year, some of you screw up in the ticket sales.  I’m not sure if you’re ignorant or
apathetic… frankly, I don’t know and I don’t care ;)
Point is… READ ALL THE INFO!  I’m not bailing people out this year.  Fail to prepare = prepare to fail

IMPORTANT TICKET INFO…
1-        You MUST update your Burner Profile (on the Bman website) in order to buy tix in ANY sale.  Do it now, so you don’t forget.  https:
//profiles.burningman.org/
2-        DGS (Directed Group Sale) tickets will probably be available to Spanker’s again this year.  They are reserved for those who are
important to the creation of Spanky’s, running Spanky’s during Bman, breaking-down and MOOPing the village at the end, attending
work/party weekends, etc.
3-        SWB will be applying for DGS tickets/passes (no guarantees that we get them, or how many)
4-        If you want to buy a DGS ticket/pass through Spanky’s, you will need to let me know ASAP… between now and February 12th, via
email: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com  
5-        You can buy up to 2 tickets and 1 car pass in the DGS.  I will be pairing-up those who aren’t paired-up already, as usual, so that
DGS tix don’t go to waste.  If you’re buying 2 tickets, let me know who the 2nd one is for.  Also, let me know if you need a vehicle pass.
6-        Tickets in the DGS (and Main Sale) cost $425.00.  Vehicle passes cost $80.00
7-        You DON’T need to register with Bman for DGS tickets… I (Admiral Painjoy) register you for the DGS with Bman.  (You do need to
register for Bman tix in the Pre Sale and the Main Sale though.)
8-        To get a DGS ticket, you must have already signed up to camp with Spanky’s, on the SWB website:  www.spankyswinebar.com  Go
to the “Sign Up” page.
9-        And priority on DGS tickets goes to those who have already paid Camp Dues

The three other ticket sales that concern us soon are:
1-        The Pre-Sale (Registration is Jan 24-26 – The Sale Date is Jan 31st).  These are the super-expensive tickets that help fund Bman
stuff ($990.00 or $1200.00 each).  If you can afford these… great.  You’re helping Bman and easing the ticket-burden for SWB.
2-        The Main Sale (Registration is March 21 – 23 – The Sale Date is March 28th).  
3-        The Low Income Ticket Program (Registration is Feb 14th – April 16th)
PLEASE READ all the info about Bman ticket sales here:  https://tickets.burningman.org/


THE “SPANKIER THAN THOU” GAME… JUST FOR FUN
No need to reply with results.  This is just for fun.  (Taken from the SWB FB page)… LOL
(one point for each “yes” answer)
___  I have camped with SWB for more than 5 years
___  I have attended Juplaya with SWB
___  I know the correct response to, “Your heart may belong to the man….. “
___  I have been a guest at 3 (or more) other Spankers homes, in the default world
___  I have (at least) one piece of Lucky Bastard’s art on my wall at home
___  I have been to work/party weekends at all 3 Skunkworks… Joey’s, Donny’s, AND Liam’s
___  I know eLeM’s real last name AND how to spell it
___  I have ridden the Orgasmator (for males, I have helped build or break-down the Orgasmator)
___  I camped at the conGLOMerate village (the precursor village to SWB)
___  I have helped set up the BASS
___  I have been fondled (or fondled somebody else) at the Groping Booth (or Tunnel of Glove)
___  I have DJ’d at Spanky’s
___  I have been an eyewitness to an APJ orgasm
___  I have administered spankings with the Spank-O-Matic
___  I have ridden the Teeter Totter of Death AND the Chairway to Heaven tower
___  I have helped APJ with SWB paperwork or SWB projects at his house
___  I have been shackled to the bondage wall at SWB
___  I have danced on one of the SWB stages
___  I have been one of the first 12 Spankers on-playa for Early Build
___  I have been one of the last 12 Spankers on-playa for Break-down and MOOPing
___  I have (or have had) an SWB bumper-sticker on my vehicle
___  I have received a compliment (or other positive feedback) from Mayor Joey
___  I have been an SWB driver (drove an SWB truck… or left the playa to run an SWB errand)
___  I have given an honest description of SWB to my default-world biological family
___  I have served as Camp Bitch at SWB
___  I have argued with Major-D
___  I have had sex with a fellow Spanker, and loved it
___  I have had sex with a fellow Spanker, and regretted it
___  I have ridden on (at least) one of SWB’s art cars
___  I have been on an SWB art car when it broke-down on the playa
___  I have participated in a Carne Armada attack
___  I have given somebody a “Spanky’s High-Five”… off-playa
___  I have dog-eared a copy of the What/Where/When guide, to mark SWB events
___  I have had a full-blown “playa meltdown” at SWB
___  I have helped a fellow Spanker get through a “playa meltdown”
___  I have done an ice-run for SWB
___  I have helped to create art-work for SWB (artistic painting, graphic-design, swag, etc.)
___  I own sex toys that I consider “too nice to bring to Spanky’s”
___  There is a picture of me on the internet wearing an SWB medallion/necklace
___  I feel that “butt plug” is an acceptable answer to most questions
___  I have been personally mentioned in an issue of The Paddler
___  My picture (or my art/project) is on the SWB website
___  I know the two foods that APJ doesn’t like
___  I know two of the foods that Lucky Bastard does like
___  I sometimes think of a fellow Spanker when I masturbate
___  More than half of my current friends are Spankers
___  I have more pics of Spankers on my computer (FB included) than my biological family
___  I can recite (at least) 3 of SWB’s mottos from memory
___  I have had a problem solved for me by either Naked Larry, Gunny, or Fergus
___  I know what Painjoy’s title was before he was “Admiral”


LOVE BURN!
Love Burn is the Florida Regional Burning Man Event.  It’s coming up VERY soon, but it’s not too late to get tix and go!  I believe that
Scooter still has some tix available:  samedaysignssouth@gmail.com or you can get them through the LoveBurn website:
https://theloveburn.com/
Love Burn was created by (and is run by) Spankers Quantum Glen & Prosperity Angel.  It’s held on an island just off Miami.  It’s amazing.  
Myself and other Spankers will be there (but we’re not creating Spanky’s Wine Bar there).  However, Scooter sets up The Buffer Zone
there (this year it will be a full-on spa!)


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – Camp Engineer
dougl@fed-specs.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee
lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Burning Man Ticket Maven
ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Master Fucking Amazing (aka Liam) – Lead Builder
wmsmith1962@yahoo.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Nima – Bar Managers
rachel.hundley@gmail.com
nimashemirani@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD
srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird – RV Services Manager (with Amethyst)
mwharri01@gmail.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
lightupwire@gmail.com
Scooter – BufferZone Manager & SWB Marketing Director
samedaysignssouth@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler

February 2018 – Directed Ticket Edition
(We won’t do anything to you today… that you won’t beg for again tomorrow)

Special issue…
…which should be read while listening to this hauntingly beautiful cover of- “Creep” (Radiohead), by Julia Westlin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSxi-1Oz1aw

2018 BURNING MAN TICKETS/PASSES (THE DGS)
The DGS (Directed Group Sale) of Bman Tickets (aka Directed Tickets) will be happening VERY soon.  I have been compiling a list of
Spankers who are interested in being considered for these tickets.  The absolute deadline for signing up for DGS tix is Thursday.  
Then this list will be submitted to the Bman Org.  The Actual DGS “SALE” will begin on Wednesday, February 28.

For those who don’t know, “Directed Tickets” are tickets to Burning Man that are allocated to theme camps (and villages), art cars, and
art projects… but not just any theme camps, etc.  They are only offered to those that have a great track-record at Bman (and a good
moop rating).  And these Directed Tix are reserved for key members of the camp/village.  Those people without whom, the camp
wouldn’t be able to be built/function.  As in past years, the Bman Org. has allocated a healthy amount of DGS tickets to Spanky’s… yay!

If you (and/or your partner, friend, wife, husband, mate, b/f, g/f, slave, master, mistress, etc.) want to be considered for Directed Tix to
Bman, let me know NOW!  Keep in mind the following;
READ ALL OF THIS!!!
1-        You must email me (if you haven’t already) to let me know that you want to be considered for a DGS ticket: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.
com
2-        You need to sign-up on the Spanky’s website to be considered for a Spanky’s DGS ticket www.spankyswinebar.com
3-        You must have an up-to-date “burner profile” on the Bman website.  I won’t be able to enter you into the DGS sale if you don’t do
this!  https://profiles.burningman.org/
4-        You must also have an up-to-date account with “Ticketfly” (the Bman ticket vendor).  
http://www.ticketfly.com/
5-        All DGS ticket purchasers must also pay camp dues.  You don’t have to pay dues now… but if we don’t have enough DGS tix, I
give preference to those kick-ass Spankers who have already paid camp dues.  http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html
6-        Asking for a Directed Ticket doesn’t guarantee you will get one.  Directed Tickets are for members of Spanky’s who are
committed to working hard to make our village a success!  But if you DON’T ask me for one by this coming Thursday… you’ll surely
miss the boat.
7-        If you aren’t going to camp at Spanky’s Village, you can’t buy a Spanky’s DGS ticket.
8-        You need to be able to pay for the Bman tickets (and car passes) at the time of the sale.  The DGS begins on Wednesday, Feb.
28th.
9-        Tickets cost $425.00 (plus tax, fees, etc).  Car passes are still $80.00 each.  Make sure you have enough money available on
your credit/debit card to make the purchase!
10-        DGS tickets are offered in pairs.  If you are not purchasing two (one for you, and one for your mate), you will be partnered-up
with another Spanker.  We do this so that we can maximize the number of Directed Tix we get each year.
11-        When Spankers are “paired-up”, one of the pair will purchase the 2 tickets and 1 car pass (the purchaser), and the other (the
partner) will pay the purchaser for their ticket
12-        The “purchaser” can only buy 2 tix and 1 car pass.  This often causes a problem- not enough car passes.  Don’t worry.  We
always get our hands on enough car passes for everyone come summertime.  Every purchaser must buy a car pass (if you don’t need
it, another Spanker will buy it from you).  We need all the car passes we can get our hands on.
13-        If you buy a Directed Ticket through SWB, then decide later that you can’t go to Bman… your ticket MUST be sold to another
Spanker.  Directed Tix HAVE TO BE USED BY THE CAMP TO WHICH THEY WERE ALLOCATED!  Selling your Directed Ticket to
somebody outside of Spanky’s runs the SERIOUS risk of having ALL of Spanky’s Directed tix VOIDED by Bman!  No Shit.  For Realz.  
Not even kidding.
14-        Each year, we have some important Spankers who are “cash poor” at this time of year (seasonal income, tax season, etc), but
always have money in April/May/June.  With that in mind, we are looking for Spankers who can purchase a spare DGS ticket and hang
on to it, until those (presently) cash-poor Spankers can buy the ticket from you.  Please email me if you’re in a position to do this for us.
15-        If you’re selected for the Spanky’s DGS… I will be submitting your name to “Bman Ticketing”.  Then Bman Tickketing will
contact you by email, a few days later, with the final info about the DGS.  Be sure to check the email inbox from the email address that
you used in your Bman “Burner Profile”!
More info about ALL Bman ticket sales here:  https://tickets.burningman.org/

COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE… Further info and clarification about what Spanky’s Village will be this year.  It’s going to be fan-freakin-
tastic.  Trust your Admiral.  He is good.  He is wise.  ;)
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
February 2018 – Part 2
(We would love to serve you… but we’re all tied up right now)

In this issue…
…which should be read while listening to Moby’s remix of OMD’s “Souvenir”:
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHJLX_hctsg

LAST CHANCE TO REQUEST TICKETS IN THE DGS
FURTHER CLARIFICATION ON WHAT SPANKY’S VILLAGE WILL BE THIS YEAR
SWB STAPH
***********************  

LAST CHANCE TO REQUESST TICKETS IN THE DGS
Tomorrow is the deadline Spankers!  If you want to get guaranteed Bman tix, and you’re willing to be a productive member of the village, ya
gotta lemme know… NOW.

The last issue of The Paddler lists the steps you need to take… and explains the DGS.  Click this link and scroll down to the February
“Directed Ticket Edition” of The Paddler:
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html


FURTHER CLARIFICATION ON WHAT SPANKY’S VILLAGE WILL BE THIS YEAR…
After the January Paddler, some people panicked a bit… don’t worry… read on…
        We will still be a placed Theme Camp and Village this year.  But after 10 years, culminating in last years HUGE 10 year anniversary…
Admiral Painjoy needs a bit of a break this year.  So we’re scaling back on some things.
        We will have our original/existing power grid.  See the SWB website (infrastructure page) for more info on power limitations.
        Dragger, Blackbird, and Amethyst plan on organizing additional power for RVs (at extra cost – and separate from Spanky’s power
grid), for those power-hungry brats that need it… or even just want it… sissies ;)  More details on that on the SWB website also.  (Pricing
coming soon)
        Blackbird and Amethyst will still be organizing RV pump-outs and water refills as usual
        We will have a camp shower
        We will have big shade, and our bar, and music (only one bar… and the sound system will be smaller and simpler).
        We will have kink toys… just not ALL of them.  We will have the bondage wall, Spank-O-Matic (rumors abound about a new one, built
by Sky)… maybe more if we can fit them into the truck)
        We will only have one Big-Ass Rental Truck this year… not two… not three.  We want Spanky’s to be easier to set-up and break-down
this year.  So we will be cutting back on the number of structures we bring/build
        There will be no set work-shift schedule this year.  Honor system.  But everyone is still expected to help out with stuff.  
        Everyone is still required (at the end of the week) to help with break-down and MOOP on Sunday/Monday
        Eve will be creating a small kitchen this year… but not nearly as big as last year.  More info on that coming soon.
        We will be cutting back on some of the extras this year (no big welcome packs and complicated placement system, no t-shirts or
medallions or bumper stickers, shortened camp meeting, no namebadges, etc.)   These things are all great… but they consume massive
amounts of my time (and others).  I need a break this year.  We will get back to all those things next year.
        This year, our big shade/bar area will be more like it was in early years.  Here’s what I mean…  

In the early years of Spanky’s, the Big Ass Shade Structure (BASS) was our camp/village’s community space… our kinky living room (if you
will), with a bar, toys, and music.  We would all hang out there (in the shade and breeze) during the day… nurse hangovers, have food and
drinks, tell stories, listen to Morning Painjoy Radio, goof off, have contests, etc.  It was laid back and fun.   At night, we’d turn on the lights,
turn the music a little louder, dance and party, play games, pump up the kink, etc.  

Of course, all burners were welcome in our community space.  But back then, it was like we were sharing OUR space with the citizens of
Black Rock City.  “Welcome to Spanky’s… this is our camp… come join us, want a drink?”… was the vibe.  We would invite passing Burners
into OUR space.  And Spanky’s became a very popular/famous place for Burners to hang out… with Spankers.  This is how we grew our
brand.

Over the years, our BASS and Wine Bar have lost a bit of that vibe.  We now throw BIG parties.  We have BIG events.  We host hot DJs.  It’s
usually pretty loud and raucous.  It’s every night (and many days too).  And it takes a lot of work, planning, money, security, equipment,
supervision, etc. to pull it off.  Don’t get me wrong… this isn’t a bad thing.  I love the big parties.  But we’re starting to lose something…

In recent years, the bar and BASS area has started becoming a place for Burners, where we (Spankers) serve and cater to them… it’s slowly
becoming their space… not OUR shared space.  Spanky’s is becoming a venue.

Nowadays, many Spankers only go to the bar/BASS area when it’s their turn to do their workshifts.  When they want to hang-out, drink, enjoy
themselves, etc., they go to their RV with friends, or Blackbird’s Lair, or my camping area, or, or, or… but they don’t hang out at the BASS/Bar.  
Too hectic, too loud, too chaotic, too many strangers.

This year I’d like to show you all a bit of how it used to be… a glimpse into how it began… and how much fun it is to have our camp be “our
camp”.  You’ll experience more organic events and happenings.  You’ll get to know more Spankers.  You’ll feel a stronger sense of Spanky’s
community, family, and love.  And you’ll be able to meet and interact in a more meaningful way with the Burners that visit Spanky’s.  

And we will still have a couple big events this year.  I know Dragger and Lazer will be hosting The Great Canadian Beaver Eating Contest
again this year… yay!  Lazer will be doing the Electro-Swing Party.  I’ll ask Adrian about doing a slightly more low-key “renegade” MashUp
party (aka Spank Dat Bootie).  But as for the rest of it… well… that’s up to you… to us.  If you have an idea for a fun event, contest, game, etc.
this year, guess what?  The schedule is pretty damn open.  Contact me.  We’ll chat about it.  It’s your camp!  Be part of the creative process.
~Admiral Painjoy~

SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)… knows stuff
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
dougl@fed-specs.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee
lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven
ashcraaj@yahoo.com
Master Fucking Amazing (aka Liam) – Builds stuff
wmsmith1962@yahoo.com
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, and stuff like that
ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp – Bar Managers and lushes
rachel.hundley@gmail.com
tripp3857@comcast.net
Dirty Dan – DJ… weirdo
djdirtydan@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
mwharri01@gmail.com
izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
April 2018
“Most welcome bondage, thou art, me thinks, a way to liberty”  
William Shakespeare –Cymbeline – Act 5, Scene 4

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: Ya Hey! by Vampire Weekend (Covered by Phosphorescent):  https://www.
youtube.com/watch?v=xZMcbVAxDm8

        WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
        CAMP DUES
        BMAN TICKET INFO
        RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER – if you don’t read this, you’ll die! (if you do read this, you’ll    still die… you should come to
terms with the fact that you’re mortal, and some day… you’ll die.)
        EARLY-BUILD – WORK ACCESS PASSES
        MOOP
        SWB STAPH
***********************  
WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our Work/Party Weekends.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  We will be having 2
or 3 work/party weekends at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka The Skunkworks… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden
Valley, CA 95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many
hands make light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake,
a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property
with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.

SCHEDULE:
1-        The first one is tentatively scheduled for May 18-20 (Thursday-Sunday)… formal announcement/confirmation will be made soon.
2-        The second one will be August 17-20 (Friday-Monday) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sunday/Monday)… then depart
for the playa on Wednesday for Early-Build.
3-        The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the
truck, re-organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the
most fun, and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!

AIRPORT/BARDELLO WORK WEEKENDS
Many of you have noticed that Liam and Donna have been hosting “non-Spanky’s” work weekends as well.  Here’s the story regarding
that;
Liam is working on getting the contract to build a large part of the Burning Man Airport this year (structures, power, a/c, etc).  He and
Donna have a crew that are gearing up for this.  And since the airport is out near the trash fence at Bman (and they will need to maintain
the structures/equipment during the event) they are planning on building a camp out near the airport as well.
These “airport work weekends” are not related to Spanky’s work weekends, but of course, Spankers are welcomed to come help, if so
inclined.

CAMP DUES
Please pay your camp dues ASAP, if you haven’t already.  This is the time of year when we pay for some of the big-ticket items like
generators, rental trucks, construction supplies, etc.  Dues can be paid on the SWB website or you can mail a check.  More info here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html

BMAN TICKET INFO
Still don’t have a Bman ticket?  I may be able to help.  (See the Bman website for more info on tickets, deadlines, and definitions) https:
//tickets.burningman.org/
The DGS ticket sale and the Main Sale are now done.  But all hope is not lost…
1-        You can still purchase the “Limited $1200.00” tickets, directly from Bman, if you’re able to afford them.  
2-        Low Income Tickets are still available (if you qualify).  The deadline for application is April 16th
3-        There is one more general ticket sale in July/August called the “OMG Last Chance” sale
4-        STEP is opening April 25th (Bman’s Secure Ticket Exchange Program)
5-        There may be another DGS ticket sale in the summer for SWB
6-        Spanky’s still has a few DGS tickets available from the first sale, but these are special tickets and are only for certain Spankers…  
•        There are Spankers who qualify for DGS tickets that didn’t have money (or weren’t yet signed-up in Jan/Feb, when the sale
happened).  So a few Spankers graciously purchased a spare ticket for those who weren’t ready.
•        DGS tickets are ONLY for Spankers that are truly committed to helping to build, run, break-down, and MOOP.  Hard workers!
•        DGS tickets are for Spankers ONLY!  You may not camp elsewhere if you purchase a DGS ticket
•        DGS tickets can’t be re-sold outside of SWB.  If for some reason you decide to not go to Bman (or camp elsewhere), your DGS ticket
MUST be sold back to a Spanker-in-need of a ticket
•        Contact me (Admiral Painjoy) if you want to purchase one of these spare DGS tickets: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER
RV Pumping and Fresh Water Re-Fills:
(prices should be close to the same as last year – exact prices coming in next issue)

Mark H (aka Blackbird) and Rod H (his trusty partner, Amethyst) are the Spankers who coordinate the RV pumpings, fresh-water refills,
and dedicated RV Power.  The cut-off date for securing/paying for these services is a couple months out… but these services MUST be
paid in advance.

These services are provided by vendors, for a fee (“United Site Services” does the pump outs – “YoYo Water Supply” does the water
refills, “cAMP-power” does the dedicated RV electricity).  These fees are collected well in advance of Bman.
Pump-outs and fresh-water refill costs will be posted in the next Paddler.  Dedicated RV electric costs vary according to your needs (see
below).

If you are in an RV at Bman, getting these services is a VERY good idea.  It’s really hard to get through the week without at least one
pump-out and water refill, especially if you have more than one person in your RV, or if you’re on-playa for more than seven days.

Email Blackbird now if you need these RV services on the playa:  mwharri01@gmail.com
You will need to know the day(s) you want pumpings/refills, and the approx. size of your holding tanks.  He will give you more info on how
the process works.  You can pay by check or PayPal.

RV Power in SWB:
We do have power in Spanky’s Village, but the primary reason for this is running our bar, sound system, lighting, our many attractions,
sub-camps, etc.  But we will have limited power available for a limited number of RVs, yurts, and tents.  But there are restrictions and
limitations (i.e. not enough power for running your A/C).  Please refer to the website for more details:  http://www.jimhillas.
org/infrastructure.html


Here’s more info (from Dragger) about electrical power options in Spanky’s:
RV "cAMP power" 2018

Option 1:  Camp in the SWB “general camping area” and share 15Amp circuits — fine for charging your cell phone, batteries, (and on
most RVs), powering lights, and other misc. small things (but not Air Conditioners)…. And 100% gluten-free!

Option 2:  Run your own RVs onboard-generator (if it has one) when you want to use the A/C, microwave, or other high-power items

Option 3: Buy dedicated power
For RVs in the "cAMP-power" area, you will have two RV options, which are similar to what you find in an RV park:

A.      30Amp service for $450.00, good for one Air Conditioner RVs (actually a single-pole 30A circuit breaker dedicated to your RV and
appropriate cords and adapters to connect to your RV).
B.     50Amp service for $650.00, good for two Air Conditioner RVs (actually a double-pole, 30A or 50A circuit breaker dedicated to your RV
and appropriate cords and adapters to connect to your RV).

What you need to know about LOLA power:
1.      No guarantees.  This is Burning Man and we spend lots of money just to try to get this together at 4000’ elevation, in high
temperatures, wind, and dust.  You know this, so what you pay for is our best efforts to deliver this power to you—no refunds.  In EVERY
year, we have problems with our generators and most of the time, we are able to fix them.
2.     We plan to operate 18 hours per day, but that may be significantly more or less, depending on what happens (remember, it IS
Burning Man)
3.     Payment must be made in full when you make Pump-Out and Water commitments through Blackbird (the SWB RV-Services
Coordinator)
4.   NOTE: If you sign-up for RV power, you will be placed/camped in the "cAPM power" area, near camp Lola —we don’t plan to run RV
power cables throughout all of Spanky's Village... far too expensive.
5     Questions?  Contact Blackbird at mwharri01@gmail.com.  If he can't answer your question, he'll forward it to me.
~Dragger~   


EARLY BUILD (WORK ACCESS PASSES)
These were called Early Arrival Passes (EAPs) in past years; now they are called Work Access Passes (WAPs).  

The gates to Bman don’t officially open until Sunday, Aug. 26th, but…

Every year, Spanky’s gets a limited number of WAPs from the Bman Org.  You can’t get into Bman before Aug 26th without a WAP.  These
WAPs are for people who want to come early and help build Spanky’s.  I don’t know how many we will be getting this year.  I won’t know
until July… but if you’re interested, and need to know soon, for logistical reasons (booking flights, renting RVs, etc), you can request a
WAP now.

“Early Build” is an honor, and a lot of work… and lots of fun too.  It’s pretty cool being on the playa and watching the city being built.  After
the final pre-burn work/party weekend, we will be loading the big-ass truck on Monday, Aug 20th, then departing The Kinky Mountain
Farm on Wednesday morning, Aug 22nd.  On Wednesday night, we hit the playa running…and we work and build and organize and
decorate and, and, and… until it’s done.  If we have everything built in time (Saturday), we will host a “soft opening party” on Saturday
night, to “work out the kinks” for Bman’s opening the following day.

I select “Early Arrivals” based on a few factors:
1-        Your past track record with SWB
2-        How early can you arrive?  Helping us load and driving out will us nearly assures you a WAP.   (Arriving on Friday or Saturday, just
before Bman opens, isn’t much help)
3-        Your skill set… how handy are you?  Construction skills are great, but we need all types of people to do a multitude of tasks
4-        You are a sexy young female, willing to make all of APJs fantasies come true ;)


MOOP
MOOP (Matter Out Of Place, for you newbies) is the Burning Man term for trash, litter, and well, frankly anything that doesn’t naturally
belong on the playa (i.e. dust, tiny rocks, and the corpses of our enemies).  Playa Restoration and the Placement Team just sent an
email to Christopher Robbin and I, congratulating us on our improved MOOP rating in 2017… so yay!  Good job Spankers!  But there is
still room for improvement in 2018.  So please, take the time to read this:
https://burningman.org/event/preparation/leaving-no-trace/ (click on each bullet point/link at the right side of the webpage, and read away!)


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC (head mutha fuckka in charge)… knows stuff
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
rachel.hundley@gmail.com
tripp3857@comcast.net
rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak
djdirtydan@gmail.com
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
mwharri01@gmail.com
izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
May 2018
“I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation… but never missed it.”   ~Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: Tom Lehrer’s The Masochism Tango: https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=TytGOeiW0aE

        A NOTE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
        WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS (SCHEDULE CHANGE – PLUS VEGAS BABY!)
        CAMP DUES
        DGS BURNING MAN TICKETS (they’re special!)
        RV SERVICES
        SWB STAPH
***********************  

A NOTE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
Bonjour Spankers!
Sorry for any delays in responses to any of you.  Suddenly, I’m swamped with real-world work.  I’m currently in Pennsylvania helping my
Mom get her house ready for sale.  Poor cell signal here… and WiFi problems too.  So I’m at Starbucks now… I’m white, so I probably
won’t get kicked out ;)

I’m doing a short version (lol) of The Paddler today, because I’m pressed for time.  But please know, I have been receiving your Bman
ticket requests and your inquiries regarding other matters.  I’ll be back home (and in my office) later this week, and will get back to all of
you then.

Again, sorry for the delays.

WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
SCHEDULE CHANGE!!!

Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our Work/Party Weekends.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  We will be having 3
work/party weekends at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka The Skunkworks… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley,
CA 95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands
make light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake,
a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property
with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.

SCHEDULE:
The May 18-20th work/party weekend at Liam & Donna’s has been postponed… APJ has a work conflict.   It is now scheduled for June
29th-July 1st (Fri-Sun)
 HOWEVER – Dragger will be hosting an SWB (& Lola) work/party weekend at the end of this
 Month (Memorial Day weekend… in Vegas baby!)  Here are the details from Dragger:
Work party 25-28 May 2018 – Las Vegas
LOLA/SWB/Peculiar Children – Attend for all or part of the event…

Venue
Dragger’s RV (LOLA) is parked at a farm in Pahrump, NV (an hour-fifteen from Vegas) with 20 chickens, 3 geese (one sitting on an egg),
20 sheep, a goat, 15 pigs (not counting Dragger) 6 horses and some dogs.  Warehouse about 5 miles away is where the work will occur.  

Locations: (text Dragger to find out where they’re currently working upon your arrival 410.353.4976) –
Dragger’s warehouse – 931 Fehrs Way  Pahrump, NV 89060 (Across Hwy 160 from First Souther Baptist Church)
Dragger’s farm – 1311 Mae Road, Pahrump, NV  89060

MAYBE Dragger can assist with air travel.

Friday
Meet up when you can

Saturday
Work our asses off sorting mostly burn stuff, convincing Dragger to part with Burn projects he has coveted for 5 years or more, building
bike racks, rebuilding structures, electrical component layout and refurb (for those of the electrical persuasion) assessing need for new
poles for structures, making runs to Goodwill and the dump.  
Late afternoon:  Load up in the Big Pink bus or its larger cousin if needed and be driven to and around Vegas for debauchery, maybe a
show, sushi and general fun.  Back by midnight to 2PM in Pahrump.  

Sunday
More work at the warehouse.
Evening:  Fresh lamb barbeque at the farm cooked by JC and Tom in LOLA’s yard

Monday AM
Move LOLA into warehouse
Depart

OTHER WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
The next one will be August 17-20 (Fri-Mon) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sun/Mon)… then depart for the playa on
Wednesday for Early-Build.
The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the truck, re-
organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the most fun, and
a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


CAMP DUES
Please pay your camp dues ASAP, if you haven’t already.  This is the time of year when we pay for some of the big-ticket items like
generators, rental trucks, construction supplies, etc.  Dues can be paid on the SWB website or you can mail a check.  More info here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html


DGS BURNING MAN TICKETS – (THEY’RE SPECIAL)
This is mostly for the virgins and newer Burners…
DGS Tickets (Directed Group Sale ticket) are not ordinary Burning Man tickets… they are special… and they are not for everyone.  Here’s a
bit of Bman history;

In 2011, Bman “sold out” (during the Main Sale) for the first time in its history.  When this happened, the Bman Org. was blind-sided by a
serious problem.  As most of you know, Burning Man isn’t like most events/festivals.  Bman is created by those who attend.  

When the event “sold out”, the organizers soon found out that many of the “key people” didn’t get tickets!  Without these key people (who
create art, volunteer to create infrastructure, build/run theme camps, etc), Bman wasn’t going to happen in 2011!!!  And this was the birth-
point of the DGS.

Thankfully, Bman had a few thousand tickets remaining for a second “Last Chance” sale of Bman tickets in 2011.  They made a decision
to sell all of these remaining tickets to those key people.  They called these “Directed Tickets”.  And thus… Bman 2011 was saved.

Every year since then, Bman has had a special tickets sale, called the Directed Group Sale (DGS), to ensure that the key players of the
Bman event are able to plan, build, create, volunteer, etc.  This is a great program.  It ensures that the event happens each year.  Bman
Org volunteers (like DPW, Center Camp, BRC Rangers, etc) are sure to get tix.  So are the builders of fantastic art projects and art cars.  
And so are Theme Camps/Villages… like Spanky’s.

Soooooo… here’s my point.  DGS tickets are special and they are for special Burners.  DGS tix are not a sneaky back-door way to get
Bman tickets.  DGS tix are for those who want to be part of something amazing and wonderful at Bman… and are willing to put in the work
to make that “something” happen.  In this case, it’s Spanky’s Wine Bar.

Since 2011, SWB has always been granted an ample amount of DGS tickets by the Bman Org.  This is because SWB is valued by the
Bman Org and the citizens of Black Rock City.  We work hard.  We do a good job.  We put on a good show.  We clean-up well at the end of
the event.

Those of you who have been asking for tickets… please realize that if you’re selected to purchase DGS tix, they come with a caveat.  You
are expected to help out in a meaningful way.  You are committing to helping build the camp, run the attractions of the camp, maintain the
infrastructure of the camp, break down the camp, and/or clean-up (MOOP) at the very end.  Also, those who are able, are expected to come
to work/party weekends before and after the event.

I will be making my selections this coming weekend for those who will get DGS tix.  Y’all will get emails with info about how to buy your
tickets… and who you’re buying them from.  If you don’t get selected for DGS, don’t fret.  There are still more options.  More on that in the
next issue of The Paddler.

RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER
(info below from Blackbird & Amethyst)
Hello my good Spankers, well it’s that time of year again to get your shit together.
If you have an RV and want your grey/black water pumped… if you want your potable water replenished and NEW this year we are offering
dedicated power for all you power hungry fuckers…
…this can be done, on the playa (at Burning Man)…
                                         ...but it has to be paid for in advance!

Amethyst a.k.a. Rod Hill will again be our beautiful on-site Service Manager to treat you well and will be escorting our vendors to service
your RV’s.

2018 SERVICE PRICES

$110 per pump out of grey/black water.
$1.75 per gallon for potable water fill-up.

Dedicated RV power for the week is our NEW service offered this year
$450 for 30Amp dedicated RV power, good for one Air Conditioner RV’s
$650 for 50Amp dedicated RV power, good for two Air Conditioner RV’s

From Amethyst: All on-site requests for unscheduled / non-prepaid pump-outs are up to you, to be around camp, find and solicit a Service
Technician (pump-out dude) who will accept your cash and gratuitous gifts to provide you service if they have capacity and time.  If you
need to add another pump-out to your existing order while on-site, Blackbird will accept your order and $110 cash. All other on-site pump-
out requests to SWB RV Services can happen if you seductively insist and ask Blackbird very, very nicely, he will accept your cash at the
shitty bargain price of $130 per pump-out to help support the camp budget. Remember, the benefit we provide for you dear RV Spankers
with pre-paid orders, you do not have to be around camp and at your RV to handle services yourself, and so you can enjoy more Burning
Man. Yay!!!

So here how it works:

1) Email Blackbird (Mark Harrison) at mwharri01@gmail.com with SWB RV SERVICES in the subject line if you want these shitty services.
Orders are being taken now until June 20th.

Include in your email: (copy and paste as needed)
# number of pump-outs you’d like ____
# number of times you want water replenished ____
Date(s) you want a pump out
______________________________________________
Date(s) you want water replenished
______________________________________________
# gallon size capacity of your FRESH water tanks(s) _____
# gallon size capacity of your BLACK and GREY water tanks(s)   _____
~ which (if any) power you want _______Amp

2) Blackbird will confirm the total you owe for all services via email and send you an invoice.

3) Promptly send your payment for your invoice by PayPal or Check

Blackbird is set-up to take payments on PayPal with mwharri01@gmail.com
You can also mail a check payable to:          Mark Harrison
                                                                           4432 Bell St.
                                                                           KCMO 64111
Be sure to write SWB RV SERVICES in the subject line of check.

Collecting your payment for RV services starts immediately so payment to our vendors is completed by June 20th.

*** PLEASE DON’T DELAY! Operators are standing by***


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – zarkin’ frood
 Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
 dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
 lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
 agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
 john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
 ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
 crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
 rachel.hundley@gmail.com
 tripp3857@comcast.net
 rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
 djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
 srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
 mwharri01@gmail.com
 izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
 lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
June 2018
“There are no good girls gone bad… just bad girls found out”
~Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: Father Funk’s remix of Ray Charles’ “I got a woman”:  https://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=3H02jYkxSdk

        A NOTE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
        WORK/PARTY WEEKEND – June 29-July 1 (fri-sun)
        4th OF JUPLAYA!
        CAMP DUES
        BURNING MAN TICKETS
        2018 SWB CAMP EVENTS
        RV SERVICES
        SWB STAPH
***********************  

A NOTE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL
First… a big THANK YOU to all those who traveled to Vegas to help with Dragger’s work/party weekend.  It looks like y’all got a lot
accomplished.  And the FB pics seem to show that a decent level of debauchery took place as well ;)  Info on the next work/party
weekend is below.

Also, this weekend marks the unofficial start to summer… yay!  Winter seemed like it wouldn’t end this year (fuckin’ Obama!)  So now is
the time to start getting organized for Burning Man (and Spanky’s!)  Go over the packing list… book your flights… reserve your post-burn
rooms… get your camping gear cleaned and organized… and please… wash those sex toys, dammit ;)  

SWB NEWBIES… make sure you’ve read all the info on the SWB website.  This is très important!  Plus the info in the past issues of
The Paddler.  And if you’re a total newbie to Bman… make sure to read this:  https://burningman.org/event/preparation/first-timers-
guide/


WORK/PARTY WEEKEND (June 29 – July 1) fri-sun
Send me an email if you’ll be attending:  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our “Work/Party Weekends”.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  Our remaining
work/party weekends will be at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley, CA
95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands
make light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a
lake, a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the
property with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.  Leave No Trace!

The next one will be August 17-20 (Fri-Mon) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sun/Mon)… then depart for the playa on
Wednesday for Early-Build.

The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the truck, re-
organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the most fun,
and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


4th OF JUPLAYA -  July 4-8 (wed-sun)
If you’ve never been to the playa when it isn’t Bman, this “non-event” is a real treat.  In my opinion, it’s just a good as Bman.  The vast,
stark, and romantic vastness of the Black Rock Desert is much more vivid and breathtaking when you’re not in the confines of the
Bman trash fence, surrounded by flashy theme camps, loud music, and huge structures.  

“4th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days.  You can drive fast (But be careful!  It’s easy to roll your vehicle
at high speed).  You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs.  You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc).  There
are some small theme camps and art cars.  Very few cops.  Lots of random parties.  Vast open space.  Cool burners.  

You can explore the outer reaches of the playa, the whole Black Rock Desert, High Rock Canyon, the emigrant trails, and Soldier
Meadows.  There’s usually a fireworks show put on by the town of Gerlach.  Those attending Juplaya tend to camp in small groups…
scattered ALL OVER the vast playa.  This makes for interesting party-hopping at night ;)

We will be setting up a very small version of Spanky’s there.  We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator fuel, etc.  
($50-ish per person)

If you want to join us for Juplaya, email me: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

We will probably head up to the playa on Wednesday morning, July 4th… and depart early on Sunday, July 8th.  But you can show up
any time.  Playa location TBD.



CAMP DUES
Please pay your camp dues ASAP, if you haven’t already.  This is the time of year when we pay for some of the big-ticket items like
generators, rental trucks, construction supplies, etc.  Dues can be paid on the SWB website or you can mail a check.  More info here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html


BMAN TICKETS
Let me remind everyone…
Every year so far, all Spankers who wanted Bman tickets… got them.
And another reminder…
Don’t try to buy tix on Craigslist, StubHub, or any other after-market source.  It’s almost always a scam.  Every year, some desperate
Spanker doesn’t heed my advice… and they lose a bunch of money.

I’m nearly finished allocating the first round of DGS tix.  If you still need a ticket, I haven’t forgotten about you (probably).  Those who still
need tix should have already entered STEP.   Also, we may have a second DGS (no guarantees, but they have given us a few more in
past years).  And the OMG Last Chance sale is coming up in July.  And I have an uncanny knack for finding tix.  And sometimes
Spankers bail out, and have to sell their tix.  So you see, there are still lots of options for finding tix.  Don’t panic.

One final thing…
I don’t mind busting my ass finding tix for Spankers.  But I only do that for Spankers who are enthusiastic about being part of the
camp/village.  Those who are willing to help build/run things/break-down/moop/etc.  
Spanky’s isn’t a way to get tix… it’s a way to enhance Bman (and a fine one, at that!)


CAMP EVENTS
We will be toning down the big events this year.  We’re going back to a more organic party scene at SWB, like in our early years.  This
means that we are kinda “reclaiming our party space” under the Big Ass Shade Structure (BASS).

We will be scheduling fewer “well known” DJs, and instead doing a lot of the DJing ourselves.  Everyone in SWB is welcomed to be a
DJ, and you don’t even need experience.  You merely need an iPod, iPhone, computer, or other MP3 player… and a playlist.  DJ Dirty
Dan or DJ Milk can show you how to properly use the system.  If you want to reserve a DJ time slot, send an email to djdirtydan@gmail.
com

If you’re interested in hosting an Event at SWB…. Great!  Just contact me and let me know your idea.  Our BASS area is a great venue
for themed parties, classes, workshops, and other events. NOTE: If you want your event listed in the Bman “WhatWhereWhen Guide”,
you need to let me know in the next two weeks!  Keep in mind, that if you say you’re running an event, you need to DO IT… don’t flake!

Right now, our only scheduled events are “Spank Dat Bootie” with DJ Adrian on Tuesday night (8pm-2am)… and Ryan (aka Lazer) will
be doing our annual “Electro-Swing Soire” on Thursday night.  Aside from that, the schedule is pretty clear.


RV SERVICES AND VILLAGE POWER
(info below from Blackbird & Amethyst)

DEADLINE – June 20th!

Hello my good Spankers, well it’s that time of year again to get your shit together.
If you have an RV and want your grey/black water pumped… if you want your potable water replenished and NEW this year we are
offering dedicated power for all you power hungry fuckers…
…this can be done, on the playa (at Burning Man)…
                                          ...but it has to be paid for in advance!

Amethyst a.k.a. Rod Hill will again be our beautiful on-site Service Manager to treat you well and will be escorting our vendors to service
your RV’s.

2018 SERVICE PRICES

$110 per pump out of grey/black water.
$1.75 per gallon for potable water fill-up.

Dedicated RV power for the week is our NEW service offered this year
$450 for 30Amp dedicated RV power, good for one Air Conditioner RV’s
$650 for 50Amp dedicated RV power, good for two Air Conditioner RV’s

From Amethyst: All on-site requests for unscheduled / non-prepaid pump-outs are up to you, to be around camp, find and solicit a
Service Technician (pump-out dude) who will accept your cash and gratuitous gifts to provide you service if they have capacity and
time.  If you need to add another pump-out to your existing order while on-site, Blackbird will accept your order and $110 cash. All other
on-site pump-out requests to SWB RV Services can happen if you seductively insist and ask Blackbird very, very nicely, he will accept
your cash at the shitty bargain price of $130 per pump-out to help support the camp budget. Remember, the benefit we provide for you
dear RV Spankers with pre-paid orders, you do not have to be around camp and at your RV to handle services yourself, and so you can
enjoy more Burning Man. Yay!!!

So here how it works:

1) Email Blackbird (Mark Harrison) at mwharri01@gmail.com with SWB RV SERVICES in the subject line if you want these shitty
services.
Orders are being taken now until June 20th.

Include in your email: (copy and paste as needed)
# number of pump-outs you’d like ____
# number of times you want water replenished ____
Date(s) you want a pump out
______________________________________________
Date(s) you want water replenished
______________________________________________
# gallon size capacity of your FRESH water tanks(s) _____
# gallon size capacity of your BLACK and GREY water tanks(s)   _____
~ which (if any) power you want _______Amp

2) Blackbird will confirm the total you owe for all services via email and send you an invoice.

3) Promptly send your payment for your invoice by PayPal or Check

Blackbird is set-up to take payments on PayPal with mwharri01@gmail.com
You can also mail a check payable to:          
Mark Harrison
4432 Bell St.
Kansas City, MO 64111
Be sure to write SWB RV SERVICES in the subject line of check.

Collecting your payment for RV services starts immediately so payment to our vendors is completed by June 20th.

*** PLEASE DON’T DELAY! Operators are standing by***



SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – zarkin’ frood
  Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
  dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
  lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
  agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
  john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
  ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
  crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
  rachel.hundley@gmail.com
  tripp3857@comcast.net
  rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
  djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
  srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
  mwharri01@gmail.com
  izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
  lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
June 2018 – Part 2
“I used to be Snow White…but I drifted”
~yet another QUOTE… by Mae West~

In this MINI-issue……which should be read while listening to: Porter Robinson’s “Sea of Voices” https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=lSooYPG-5Rg

        REMINDER - WORK/PARTY WEEKEND – June 29-July 1 (fri-sun)
        4th OF JUPLAYA! – MORE DETAILS
        WHAT/WHERE/WHEN GUIDE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE

Welcome to summertime Spankers!  I’ll be “out west” starting at the end of this month.  I can’t wait to see a whole bunch of you!  
~Admiral Painjoy~

I’ll be at Liam & Donna’s (The Kinky Mountain Farm) for the work/party weekend (June 29th – July 1st).
Then I’ll be in the Reno area (July 2nd – July 3rd).  
Then at 4th of Juplaya in The Black Rock Desert (July 4th – 8th).  
Then back to Laim & Donna’s (July 8th – 9th)


WORK/PARTY WEEKEND (June 29 – July 1) fri-sun
Send me an email if you’ll be attending:  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our “Work/Party Weekends”.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  Our remaining
work/party weekends will be at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley, CA
95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands make
light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake,
a river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property
with the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.  Leave No Trace!

The next one (after the June one) will be August 17-20 (Fri-Mon) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sun/Mon)… then depart for
the playa on Wednesday for Early-Build.

The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload the truck, re-
organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the most fun,
and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


4th OF JUPLAYA -  July 4-8 (wed-sun)… RSVP now!
I’m trying to get our final head-count, so let me know if you’re coming: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

Some Burners say that, “You’re not a real Burner if you’ve never been to the Black Rock Desert when it’s not Burning Man”.

Our SWB camping location will be at “The spot where they will build The Man” (weeks later).  And we’re limiting our camp-size to 40
people, so RSVP now.

To get there, you’ll drive through Gerlach (keeping right onto Hwy 34 after town).  The playa should now be on your right.  There are
several entrances to the playa.  You should drive onto the playa at the “12 mile” entrance (which is around 4 miles past the playa entrance
that you would normally take to get into Bman).  Then drive ENE (east-northeast… or a little bit left of “directly across the playa”) for
approximately 3 miles, on the open playa.  That’s roughly where we will be.  There is NO CELL SERVICE on the playa, so know where
you’re going ahead of time.

If you’ve never been to the playa when it isn’t Bman, this “non-event” is a real treat.  In my opinion, Juplaya is just a good as Bman (but
different).  The vast, stark, and romantic vastness of the Black Rock Desert is much more vivid and breathtaking when you’re not in the
confines of the Bman trash fence, surrounded by flashy theme camps, loud music, and huge structures.  

“4th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days.  You can drive fast (but be careful!  It’s easy to roll your vehicle at
high speed).  You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs.  There’s a shooting range near Frog Pond (please observe all safety
precautions with firearms!).  You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc).  There are some small theme camps and
art cars.  Very few cops.  Lots of random parties.  Vast open space.  Cool burners.  

You can explore the outer reaches of the playa, the whole Black Rock Desert, High Rock Canyon, the emigrant trails, and Soldier
Meadows.  There’s usually a fireworks show put on by the town of Gerlach.  Those attending Juplaya tend to camp in small groups…
scattered ALL OVER the vast playa.  This makes for interesting party-hopping at night ;)

We will be setting up a small version of Spanky’s there…a small shade structure, small gennie, sound system, some lighting, the bar,
and maybe a toy or two.  We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator fuel, etc.  ($50-ish per person)

NOTE:  RVs are fine, but there are no RV services there (greywater dumps or freshwater refills).
Also, there are no porto-potties, so us tenters… we do this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnwUmjeWfuI

We will probably head up to the playa on Wednesday morning, July 4th… and depart early on Sunday, July 8th.  But you can head up to
join us on Friday, if you can’t get the weekdays off from work.

Questions about Juplaya?… email me!


BURNING MAN WHAT/WHERE/WHEN GUIDE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE
The WWWguide is the booklet you receive at the Greeters Station upon entering Burning Man.  It lists the big events at the Theme Camps
of Bman.  If you want to host an event at SWB, please email me ASAP, so we can go over logistics and details.
NOTE: Just doing a DJ set doesn’t count for the WWWguide (there’s a different Bman listing for that, called The Rockstar Librarian listing,
and that happens in August).

If you’re hosting an significant event at Spanky’s Village this year (Electro-Swing Soire, Beaver Eating Contest, Ice Cream Social, etc.) and
you want it listed in the Bman WWWguide… you must submit it to Bman yourself this year.

You MUST do this at EXACTLY 12pm (noon) Pacific-time, on June 27th.  You do it by logging into your Burner Profile.  Bman only accepts
the first 1500 submissions, so you have to do it at exactly noon, and do it quickly.  The printed version of the WWWguide has a limit of 150
characters for the “description of the event”, so you should have that ready to cut/paste prior to logging on at noon.  You should list your
event location as “Spanky’s Village (and Wine Bar)”

More details here:
https://journal.burningman.org/2018/06/black-rock-city/participate-in-brc/playa-events-whatwherewhen-opens-for-2018-submissions-on-
june-27/


HugKissSpank,
~Admiral Painjoy~
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
July 2018 – Part 1
“she’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success…wrong by wrong”
~yet another QUOTE… by Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: “Hell” by The Tiger Lillies:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGAPhn8YDuw
        STILL NEED BMAN TICKETS & VEHICLE PASSES?
        WAPs (Work Access Passes – aka Early Build)
        WANNA PLAY SOME MUSIC AT SWB?
        MORE SWB EVENTS… YAY!
        AFTER BMAN – THE GSR (The Grand Sierra Resort & Casino)
        SWB STAPH
        RECAP of the PAST ISSUE of the PADDLER….
***REMINDER - WORK/PARTY WEEKEND – June 29-July 1 (fri-sun)
***4th OF JUPLAYA! – MORE DETAILS
***WHAT/WHERE/WHEN GUIDE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE


Shit’s getting’ real now Spankers!  Only 58-ish days until “build week” for Spanky’s/Bman!  
And our first big work/party is coming up this weekend (free orgasms to all who attend… no seriously…help yourself!)  Details below.
And Juplaya is right around the corner too.  Looking like we’ll have a good turn-out!

Bman tickets are starting to arrive in our mailboxes. (BTW – the artwork you see on all the Bman tickets was created by Spanky’s very own
Mark Harrison (Blackbird).  This is the second time that the Bman Org. has selected his artwork for the Bman tickets.  That’s quite an
honor.  Way to go Blackbird!

Reminder:   If you’re buying/selling spare Bman tickets/passes to another Spanker, please make your payments and do the shipping
promptly!  And don’t use regular mail... use a trackable method, like FedEx or UPS.  If you’re having ticket problems, please contact Red
Queen (our SWB Ticket Maven) at: ashcraaj@yahoo.com


STILL NEED BMAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES?
It’s time for me to reconcile the books.  Please email me right now if you still need to purchase a Bman ticket and/or vehicle pass.  Also, let
me know if you found a ticket/pass, and no longer need one, so I can scratch you off my list.  I want to make sure that my records are up-to-
date.  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

Reminder:  Don’t Panic.  Just like every year in the past, everyone that needs a Bman ticket will get one.  This is the time of year when
tickets magically become available for purchase.

Also, there’s on final Bman Ticket Sale coming up at the end of the month… The “OMG Sale”.  Registration for this sale is July 25 (noon) –
July 27 (noon).  And the actual sale is on August 1st (noon Pacific Time).  It’s first-come/first-served, so you need to be at your computer,
ready to buy, at exactly noon, to stand a chance of getting tix.  You can also merely buy a vehicle pass in this sale.  Read all the info here:  
https://tickets.burningman.org/

WAPs (Work Access Passes – aka Early Build)
These were called Early Arrival Passes (EAPs) in past years; now they are called Work Access Passes (WAPs).  

The gates to Bman don’t officially open until Sunday, Aug. 26th, but…

Every year, Spanky’s gets a limited number of WAPs from the Bman Org.  You can’t get into Bman before Aug 26th without a WAP.  These
WAPs are for people who want to come early and help build Spanky’s.  I don’t know how many we will be getting this year.  I won’t know
until July… but if you’re interested, let me know now (if you haven’t already)

“Early Build” is an honor, and a lot of work… and lots of fun too.  It’s pretty cool being on the playa and watching the city being built.  After the
final pre-burn work/party weekend, we will be loading the big-ass truck on Sunday, Aug 19th, then departing The Kinky Mountain Farm on
Tuesday afternoon, Aug 21st (or Wednesday morning, Aug 22nd, if we’re behind schedule.)  Upon arrival, we hit the playa running…and we
work and build and organize and decorate and, and, and… until it’s done.  If we have everything built in time (Saturday), we will host a “soft
opening party” on Saturday night, to “work out the kinks” for Bman’s opening the following day.

I select “Early Arrivals” based on a few factors:
1-        Your past track record with SWB
2-        How early can you arrive?  Helping us load and driving out will us nearly assures you a WAP.   (Arriving on Friday or Saturday, just
before Bman opens, isn’t much help)
3-        Your skill set… how handy are you?  Construction skills are great, but we need all types of people to do a multitude of tasks
4-        You are a sexy young female, willing to make all of APJs fantasies come true ;)


WANNA PLAY SOME MUSIC AT SWB?
Are you an aspiring DJ?  Or do you merely have a playlist on your iPod that you’d like to share with us?  Maybe a recorded, favorite stand-up
comedy bit?  Or 30 minutes of Japanese Polka music?  Or maybe you want to play some music live… on your guitar, harmonica, cello, or
didgeridoo (just kidding, if you bring a didgeridoo I’m gonna beat you with it).  Get in touch with our Lead DJ and Entertainment Coordinator;
DJ Dirty Dan – djdirtydan@gmail.com   He’ll answer your questions and try to find a time-slot for ya!

MORE SWB EVENTS… YAY!
As stated in past issues of The Paddler, we’re scaling back a bit this year, on the BIG events and DJs.  SWB is “taking back our BASS/Bar
area”.  So this is the year for Spankers to shine!

If you’d like to organize/host and event, do it!  It doesn’t need to be a big deal.  It could be as simple as a game of “Truth or Dare”, or “Never
Have I Ever”, or a “Trivia Contest”, or a “Dirty Book Reading”… whatever.  If you have an idea, contact me and we’ll chat about it;  
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

TWO RECENTLY ADDED EVENTS:
1-        The Seattle Crew just added a new event for Thursday at 5pm, called the “Bear/Snake/Eagle Game”.  Kinda like
Rock/Paper/Scissors, but friggin hilarious!

2-        I’m doing an event on Monday evening; Circus Porkus – A Three Hour Tour…  
“Join Admiral Painjoy for a Themed Art Tour of Bman aboard Boss Hogg (and other art cars).  You must be dressed in circus attire to
attend! (Silly Clown, Evil Clown, Lion Tamer, Lion, Tiger, Bear, Trapeze Artist, etc). We will be pumping out APJs Circus (evil clown) music
and Porcine music during the tour (we’ll make that Hogg squeal!)  Sunset departure.”

AFTER BMAN – THE GSR
The GSR (Grand Sierra Resort & Casino) in Reno is the After-Burn hotel of choice for Spanky’s.  On the whole, it’s the best one in Reno
(huge pool, good restaurants/buffet, nice rooms, good gaming, burner-friendly, great parking… and everyone wins money and gets laid –
okay, maybe not the last two, but possibly!)

Rooms are selling out quickly, so act now.  The GSR is offering discounts to Burners.  When making your reservations, use offer code
“BURN18”.  Room rates, with this code, start at $62/night.  Call the GSR at 1-800648-5080 or book online at: https://www.grandsierraresort.
com/

Also, “Thievery Corporation” is performing at the GSR (Burner Show) on Tuesday night.  Tickets start at $29.50: https://www1.ticketmaster.
com/event/170054B8C49F7412

SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – zarkin’ frood
    Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
    dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee who says she’s not going this year 
    lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
    agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
    john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
    ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
    crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp & Piano Wench – Bar Managers
    rachel.hundley@gmail.com
    tripp3857@comcast.net
    rblackraven@gmail.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
    djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
    srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
    mwharri01@gmail.com
    izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
    lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted


RECAP-RECAP-RECAP-RECAP-RECLAP-RECARP-REPACK-REPENT (the end is near)

WORK/PARTY WEEKEND (June 29 – July 1) fri-sun
Send me an email if you’ll be attending:  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our “Work/Party Weekends”.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  Our remaining
work/party weekends will be at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley, CA
95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands make
light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake, a
river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property with
the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.  Leave No Trace!

The next one (after the June one) will be August 17-20 (Fri-Mon) just prior to Bman (we load the big truck on Sun/Mon)… then depart for the
playa on Wednesday for Early-Build.

IMPORTANT; The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload
the truck, re-organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the
most fun, and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


4th OF JUPLAYA -  July 4-8 (wed-sun)… RSVP now!
I’m trying to get our final head-count, so let me know if you’re coming: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

Some Burners say that, “You’re not a real Burner if you’ve never been to the Black Rock Desert when it’s not Burning Man”.

Our SWB camping location will be at “The spot where they will build The Man” (weeks later).  And we’re limiting our camp-size to 40 people,
so RSVP now.

To get there, you’ll drive through Gerlach (keeping right onto Hwy 34 after town).  The playa should now be on your right.  There are several
entrances to the playa.  You should drive onto the playa at the “12 mile” entrance (which is around 4 miles past the playa entrance that you
would normally take to get into Bman).  Then drive ENE (east-northeast… or a little bit left of “directly across the playa”) for approximately 3
miles, on the open playa.  That’s roughly where we will be.  There is NO CELL SERVICE on the playa, so know where you’re going ahead
of time.  (set your gps before leaving)

If you’ve never been to the playa when it isn’t Bman, this “non-event” is a real treat.  In my opinion, Juplaya is just a good as Bman (but
different).  The vast, stark, and romantic vastness of the Black Rock Desert is much more vivid and breathtaking when you’re not in the
confines of the Bman trash fence, surrounded by flashy theme camps, loud music, and huge structures.  

“4th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days.  You can drive fast (but be careful!  It’s easy to roll your vehicle at
high speed).  You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs.  There’s a shooting range near Frog Pond (please observe all safety
precautions with firearms!).  You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc).  There are some small theme camps and art
cars.  Very few cops.  Lots of random parties.  Vast open space.  Cool burners.  

You can explore the outer reaches of the playa, the whole Black Rock Desert, High Rock Canyon, the emigrant trails, and Soldier
Meadows.  There’s usually a fireworks show put on by the town of Gerlach.  Those attending Juplaya tend to camp in small groups…
scattered ALL OVER the vast playa.  This makes for interesting party-hopping at night ;)

We will be setting up a small version of Spanky’s there…a small shade structure, small gennie, sound system, some lighting, the bar, and
maybe a toy or two.  We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator fuel, etc.  ($50-ish per person)

NOTE:  RVs are fine, but there are no RV services there (greywater dumps or freshwater refills).
Also, there are no porto-potties, so us tenters… we do this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnwUmjeWfuI

We will probably head up to the playa on Wednesday morning, July 4th… and depart early on Sunday, July 8th.  But you can head up to join
us on Friday, if you can’t get the weekdays off from work.

Questions about Juplaya?… email me!



BURNING MAN WHAT/WHERE/WHEN GUIDE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE
This Wednesday!
The WWWguide is the booklet you receive at the Greeters Station upon entering Burning Man.  It lists the big events at the Theme Camps
of Bman.  If you want to host an event at SWB, please email me ASAP, so we can go over logistics and details.
NOTE: Just doing a DJ set doesn’t count for the WWWguide (there’s a different Bman listing for that, called The Rockstar Librarian listing,
and that happens in August).

If you’re hosting an significant event at Spanky’s Village this year (Electro-Swing Soire, Beaver Eating Contest, Ice Cream Social, etc.) and
you want it listed in the Bman WWWguide… you must submit it to Bman yourself this year.

You MUST do this at EXACTLY 12pm (noon) Pacific-time, on June 27th.  You do it by logging into your Burner Profile.  Bman only accepts
the first 1500 submissions, so you have to do it at exactly noon, and do it quickly.  The printed version of the WWWguide has a limit of 150
characters for the “description of the event”, so you should have that ready to cut/paste prior to logging on at noon.  You should list your
event location as “Spanky’s Village (and Wine Bar)”

More details here:
https://journal.burningman.org/2018/06/black-rock-city/participate-in-brc/playa-events-whatwherewhen-opens-for-2018-submissions-on-
june-27/


HugKissSpank,
~Admiral Painjoy~
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
July 2018 – Part 2
“Too much of a good thing…can be wonderful”
~yet another QUOTE… by Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: “When I Jerk Off” by Red Peters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGnChJTGzfc
        PLAYA REPORT
        WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS
        STILL NEED BMAN TICKETS & VEHICLE PASS?
        WAPs & SATURDAY ARRIVALS
        THE ULTIMATE BURNING MAN PACKING LIST
        FLYING IN FROM AFAR – RESOURCES
        WORKSHIFTS, VOLUNTEERING, AND CAMP BITCHES
        RV MATING & RIDESHARES
        SWB STAPH

Hi Spankers.  The heat is on!  I’ve been working at a break-neck pace recently, so if I haven’t responded to your email/voicemail/msg/etc.
for a few days… please remind me.

I also have a very sad announcement.  Last weekend, Spanky’s lost a legend… and I lost one of my best friends.  Joe Pettegrew (aka
Mayor Joey) had been devastated recently with several health issues… primarily Parkinson’s Disease. He finally succumb to the illness
last Saturday.

I was fortunate to be able to visit with Joey and Laura three weeks ago in Fallon, NV (along with fellow Spankers; Christopher Booth, Olivia
Laino, and her daughter Sylvia). It was obvious that the disease had its claws in Joey. It was a bittersweet visit. It wasn’t easy to see my
friend, unable to get out of bed, and struggling with his mental faculties. But I am glad I was able to see him on last time.

Joey was my friend, and compatriot for 20 years. His home is the original “Skunkworks” for my camps at Burning Man (Spanky’s Wine Bar
and The conGLOMerate Village). Together, Joey and I had the ability to turn crazy ideas into fantastic reality. He was a legend. Joey was
also one of the leaders of The Burning Band (He loved you guys and gals so much!).  Joey was the designer/builder of such amazing toys
as; The Chairway to Heaven tower, The Teeter Totter of Death, the Spank-O-Matic, and many more..

We will have a memorial service at Spanky’s Wine Bar, in a few weeks… followed by a procession to the Temple. I’ll share the details
about the services in the next Paddler.
And I’ll share more about Joey soon, but for now all I can say is…
I will miss my friend, so much. My heart hurts.



PLAYA REPORT
A wonderful time was had by all who attended 4th of Juplaya.  The weather was perfect.  The shenanigans were aplenty.  Frog Pond was
wet, naked, and warm.  And Spanky’s was the place to be for partying, music, and dancing!  Juplaya was a bit smaller this year, due to the
4th landing on a Wednesday this year, and people not being able to get extra days off work.  But that’s not bad… Frog Pond wasn’t
mobbed with people…yay!

But the best news is… the condition of the playa itself.  It is firm, hard, dry, and there are very few dust mounds or “playa serpents”.  There’
s a good chance that we will have a less dusty year, than normal, this year… woot!  One bit of bad news… crickets… there were lots of
crickets (hopefully they’ll be gone by the time we get there).

WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS (Aug 17-20) fri-mon AND POST-BURN!
Send me an email if you’ll be attending:  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Spanky’s prepares for Burning Man at our “Work/Party Weekends”.  We organize, clean, build, paint, plan, and… party!  Our remaining
work/party weekends will be at The Kinky Mountain Farm (aka… aka Liam & Donna’s place – 5111 Marshall Rd, Garden Valley, CA
95633).  All Spankers who live in the western USA are expected to attend at least one of these work/party weekends.  Many hands make
light work.

The Kinky Mountain Farm is an idyllic place for our work/party weekends.  It’s an active farm with a variety of animals, open space, a lake, a
river, lots of shade, huge bonfire area, hot tub, privacy, and camping space for RVs and tents.  Everyone is asked to treat the property with
the utmost respect.  This is Liam and Donna’s home, and they are very graciously allowing us to use it.  Leave No Trace!

IMPORTANT; The final one is right after Bman, Sept 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday).  This one is the most important!  This is when we unload
the truck, re-organize, clean, and store all of our equipment.  Last year, attendance was pitiful!  Let’s make up for it this year.  It’s also the
most fun, and a great way to extend the magic of Bman for a few more days… the last hurrah!


STILL NEED BMAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES?
Once again… It’s time for me to reconcile the books.  Please email me right now if you still need to purchase a Bman ticket and/or vehicle
pass.  Also, let me know if you needed one, but found a ticket/pass, and no longer need one, so I can scratch you off my list.  And also,
remind me if you have a ticket and/or vehicle pass for sale.  I want to make sure that my records are up-to-date.  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

Reminder:  Don’t Panic.  Just like every year in the past, everyone that needs a Bman ticket will get one.  This is the time of year when
tickets magically become available for purchase.  It might be last-minute though.

Also, there’s on final Bman Ticket Sale coming up… The “OMG Sale”.  Registration for this sale started yesterday! July 25 (noon) – July 27
(noon).  Register through your Burner Profile: https://profiles.burningman.org/
And the actual sale is on August 1st (noon Pacific Time).  The sale is first-come/first-served, so you need to be at your computer, ready to
buy, at exactly noon, in order to stand a chance of getting tix.  You can also merely buy a vehicle pass in this sale.  Read all the info here:  
https://tickets.burningman.org/

NOTE:  There wasn’t a 2nd DGS ticket sale for SWB this year, so….
THERE ARE STILL A FEW SPANKERS WHO NEED TIX.  SO IF YOU HAVEN’T PURCHASED A TICKET IN A PREVIOUS SALE (even if you
have a ticket already), YOU CAN HELP OUT A SPANKER BY ENTERING THE OMG SALE!  IF YOU’RE SUCCESSFUL, WE WILL FIND A
BUYER FOR THE TICKET(S) YOU GET IN THE OMG SALE.  Thanks!

WAPs & SATURDAY ARRIVALS
As is the case every year, there weren’t Work Access Passes (WAPs – formerly known as Early Arrival Passes) for everyone that wanted
them.  There is now a waiting list.  If you made the cut, you should be getting an email from me by the end of this week.  NOTE:  If you’re
getting a WAP, it will be emailed to you in mid-August… then you print it yourself.

However, I still have quite a few “Saturday Arrival Passes”.  These allow you to enter Bman as early as Saturday morning (Aug 25th) at 12:
01am (think… late, late, Friday night).  Bman offers these to Theme Camps for two reasons.  
1-        To help with the final touches on Early Build  2-
2-        To alleviate the size of the gate-line on Sunday (when Bman officially opens).

If you’re interested in getting in early on Saturday, send me an email with “Saturday Arrival” in the subject line.  Be sure to let me know the
full names of everyone that will be arriving with you.  jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

THE ULTIMATE BURNING MAN PACKING LIST
Even the most seasoned Burners should use this packing list…complete with explanations and tips.  http://www.jimhillas.org/packinglist.
html

FLYING IN FROM AFAR – RESOURCES
Many Spankers come from places far away… so they fly into Reno.  That means they have to cram everything they need for Bman into two-
or-three suitcases.  That’s means tough decisions have to be made.  Plus, there are certain things you just can’t fly with, such as propane
canisters for stoves/lanterns/etc, or bikes, or 25 gallons of water…. So… what to do???

Food/Supply – Stores in Reno/Fernley (Fernley is off I-80, just east of Wadsworth (the Bman exit))
(Burner Express Bus stops at Walmart (if you’ve purchased a ticket to ride the BEB)
Home Depot, Reno – 6590 S. Virginia St. (South Reno – Closes 10pm – Sunday 8pm)
Home Depot, Reno – 5125 Summit Ridge Ct (West Reno, just off I-80 – Closes 10pm, Sunday 8pm)
Walmart, Reno (w/ food) – 2524 2nd St. (one block north of the Grand Sierra Resort & Casino – Closes at midnight)
Walmart, Reno (w/ food) - 4855 Kietzke Ln (further south, but less crowded – near Trader Joes and Whole Foods – Closes at midnight)
Trader Joes, Reno - 5035 S McCarran Blvd (Closes at 10pm)
Whole Foods, Reno - 6139 S Virginia St (Closes at 10pm)
Costco, Reno – 2200 Harvard Way (Closes M-F 8:30pm – Sat 7pm – Sun 6pm)
Walmart, Fernley – 1550 E. Newlands Rd (open 24 hrs)
Lowe’s Home Center, Fernley – 375 Stanley Drive East (closes at 9pm – 8pm Sunday)
Raleys Supermarket, Fernely - 1400 US Highway 95A North (closes at 11pm)

Coolers – Make one of your pieces of checked luggage a cooler!  Put a soft/collapsible duffle-bag inside it, along with a bunch of other stuff
(clothes, etc).  When you get to Reno, put the clothes, etc in the duffle bag, and now you have an empty cooler for Bman.

Bikes – Buy a used one on the way up 447 in Nixon, Empire, or Gerlach.  Most of these vendors will buy it back at a greatly reduced cost
after Bman.  Cheap new bikes are also available at Walmart.
Also, Burning Man has the “yellow bike” program:  https://journal.burningman.org/2013/08/black-rock-city/survive-and-thrive/everything-you-
ever-wanted-to-know-and-some-things-you-really-didnt-about-yellow-bikes/

Water – (figure on 3 gallons per day, minimum) - Important video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S1dgosnLaY
All the grocery stores in Reno/Fernley sell water in 1 gallon (sometimes 2.5 gallon) jugs.  Walmart carries empty 5-7 gallon jugs too.

Jugs and water are also for sale in Gerlach (the town just before Bman) – Near the corner of Short St. and Diablo Dr. (you’ll see signs)
Hours from last year were:
Mon - Wed (pre-bman) 9am-6pm
Thur (pre-bman) 9am-8pm
Fri-Sun (pre-bman) 8am-midnight
Mon – Tue (during bman) 9am-8pm
Wed (during bman) 9am-6pm
They fill up empty water jugs.  They also sell water jugs, water is free if you buy jugs.  They also fill up RV tanks.
Prices are around $0.50 per gallon.  Cash only, but there’s an ATM on site.

SWB Guest Kitchens – There are many Spankers who don’t mind sharing their stoves, microwaves, pot, pans, etc with fellow Spankers
who flew in for the event.  Feel free to ask any of us that have RVs or big tent/kitchen set-ups.  HOWEVER… make sure you clean
everything perfectly and put it all back in its place when you’re done!  Be a good guest.  
NOTE: Not everyone is okay with letting you use their stuff, or come in their RV though.  If you get denied, don’t take it personally.  Just ask
someone else.

Tents, Sleeping Bags, Air Mattresses – You can try to borrow from a fellow Spanker… Ask on the SWB FB page.  Sometimes Spankers
have spare equipment.  Otherwise, buy in Reno or Fernley.  Maybe a Spanker will store your stuff for next year?

Showers – Spanky’s has camp showers.  You need to bring your own water though.  3-5 gallons is okay for a shower, if you use the water
sparingly (turn shower off when lathering, that sort of thing).  Please don’t ask RVers to use their showers… RVs have limited water.  
Water is like gold in the desert.

Toilets – There are port-o-potties all over Bman.  We even have a dozen or so right across the street from Spanky’s!  Please don’t ask
RVers to use their toilets.

Cool blinky/glowy stuff and Burner Clothes – “Light Up World” – Our very own Quantum Glen and Prosperity Angel (fellow Spankers) have
two booths set up outside of Bman (one in Empire, NV… one in Gerlach, NV).  Stop by and pick up some last minute supplies!  https:
//lightupworld.com/

Consider going in on a storage unit with others if you’ll be coming back year after year.  There are storage units for rent in Empire, Fernley,
Spark, Reno, etc).  After you buy your Bman stuff, store it there during the off-season… so you don’t have to buy it again next year.

WORKSHIFTS, VOLUNTEERING, AND CAMP BITCHES
Even though we don’t have scheduled workshifts this year, we all still need to do the work.  Here is a listing of the jobs available at SWB
this year (not all from the SWB website are available this year), and the people who are in charge of each catagory:
Dominatrix/Master (Lady Victoria and Lazy Bar Slut)
Bar Tender (Lady Raven and Tripp)
Bar Back (Lady Raven and Tripp)
Masseuse (Dragger and Quantum Glen)
LNT Staff (TBD)
Security (Chaz and Niloc)
Stage Dancers (TBD)
DJ (Dirty Dan)
Fire Performers (TBD)
Assistant Ice Runners (Winter)
Spank-O-Matic Operator (and Assistant)
Floater - Handyman/woman (Dano)
Please find the Camp Bitch to volunteer for workshifts while you’re at Spanky’s.  If you need more info on certain jobs, there are
descriptions on the SWB website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/workshifts.html
Also, the camp specialists are listed at the bottom of this newsletter.  Feel free to email them with questions.

RV MATING & RIDESHARES
Rod H. (aka Amethyst) is our Rideshare & RV Mating Coordinator.  Here’s some info from Amethyst….

“What is RV mating? Well kids, when two RVs love each other very, very much...

But seriously, if you have spot(s) open for an RV mate, or would like to join an RV crew, or are willing to have a fellow Spanker(s) road trip
with you or would like to get picked up for a road trip to the Playa or return to the default world, email Rod (Amethyst) at izcre8ive@yahoo.
com Rod will coordinate connecting hosts with mates and riders with drivers.

Want an RV Mate?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) where you are originating from, 3) your dates of Playa arrival and exodus, 4) how many RV
mate spot(s) you have, 5) picture(s) of your ship on wheels. No other details are needed about your amazing RV accommodations or
admission rituals and costs, you will provide the list of luxuries, oddities and costs directly to your potential RV mate(s).

Want to offer a Rideshare?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) how many Rideshare spot(s) you have, 3) where you are originating from , 4) picture of your
vehicle and 5) the dates you are starting your trek to and from the Playa and/or Reno. No other details about your sweet ride, safe word or
fares, you can brag it up with your possible captive who will need to endure your taste in music.

Want to be an RV Mate?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) dates you are planning to arrive on the Playa and return to the default world and 3) casting
couch picture. If you also need a Rideshare, include the Rideshare information below in same email.

Want to get a Rideshare?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) where you are originating from and/or heading to after exodus, 3) date(s) you are able to get
picked up and/or ejected to the default world, and 4) head shot of you on a car hood.

After I help you connect, I leave your threesome or more and you do your seductive negotiating and arrange any exchange of payment. All
mating arrangements and Rideshare agreements are settled between hosts and mates, drivers and riders.
Check Spanky's Facebook for status on supply and demand for these services and other updates.”
Rod (Amethyst)
izcre8ive@yahoo.com

And since we’re on the subject of RVs… here’s some RV tips/info that Eve (aka Dirty Bird) put together for all you RVers out there;
http://www.jimhillas.org/rvtips.html


That’s all for July….two more issues of The Paddler coming in August!
HugKissSpank,
Admiral Painjoy


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – zarkin’ frood
     Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons
     dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Radio Star
     ashcraaj@yahoo.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Kool & Knowledgeable Chickadee
     lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
     tahoesherpa@yahoo.com
Winter – Ice Queen
     winter_woman17@yahoo.com
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – RV power guy who wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
     agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
     john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, music, Eros Tangere, and stuff like that
     ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
     crbooth@martianwind.com
Lady Raven (Rachel) & Tripp - Bar Managers
     rachel.hundley@gmail.com
     tripp3857@comcast.net
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
     djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
     srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
     mwharri01@gmail.com
     izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
     lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
August 2018 – Part 1
“A Hard man is good to find”
~yet another QUOTE… by Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: “C’era Una Volt il West” by Ennio Morricone (theme song from the movie Once Upon
a Time in the West… one of my favorite songs to listen to while driving up Hwy 447 to Burning Man): https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=40rmHENoGsk

        THE ADMIRAL’S RANT
        MEMORIAL SERVICES
        BURNING MAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES
        SWB UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
        ONE RV AVAILABLE FOR RENT
        ELECTRICAL POWER
        WHAT TO DO UPON ARRIVAL AT SPANKY’S
        VILLAGE MAP
        APPETIZER PROGRAM
        EMERGENCY COMMUNICATION WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD
        LAW ENFORCEMENT AT BURNING MAN
        RV MATING & RIDESHARES
        RV TIPS
        SWB STAPH


THE ADMIRAL’S RANT
3 days until I start my 3000 mile, cross-country drive.  9 days until the work/party weekend starts.  13 days until early-build starts on the playa.  
18 days until the gates officially open for Burning Man.  Feeling pressed for time?  I sure am!

My rant mostly has to do with Spankers not reading stuff.  In particular, the SWB website and the newsletter (The Paddler).  Those two things
will answer 99% of your questions.  Not only that, but you’re supposed to read them dammit!  Vital info is there.  If you don’t read this stuff, you’
ll die (Okay, maybe you won’t die… but you’ll fuck up your burn, and other people’s too)

I don’t mind getting phone calls and messages with questions, but I do mind it if the questions were already answered on the website or in
the newsletter (The Paddler).  Every minute counts for me right now.  There’s still a ton of stuff I need to do to get this camp/village ready for
showtime.  Please check the SWB website and The Paddler before asking questions (past issues of The Paddler are posted on the
website)  www.spankyswinebar.com

So here’s the deal… if you contact me with a question that you should have already known the answer to… you will have to pay a fine.  The
fine is 3 slices of perfectly cooked bacon (well-done please…crisp but not blackened).  Fines will be paid on the playa.  Mornings are best,
but I’ll eat bacon any time, really ;)

Another part of my rant has to do with the time-of-day that you all try to contact me.  I’m on east-coast time right now.  And because of work
(being “on-call” 24/7), I can’t turn my phone off at night.  Every time I get a call or text, my phone wakes me up.  Please, please, please don’t
call or text after 11pm… unless it’s an emergency, that can’t wait until morning, send an email instead.  Thanks.  And don’t forget the time-
zone differences.

And the last part of the rant has to do with being prepared.  Every year, a few Spankers forget to bring crucial things… like their Burning Man
ticket, or car pass, or WAP, or medications, or their phone, or ID, or, or…

There is a solution to this problem.  There is a packing list on the SWB website.  It’s very comprehensive.  Copy and print it!  Use it as a
checklist when you’re packing.  Check off things once they are packed.  Look at it carefully before you leave for Bman!!!  Tape it to your door so
you’re sure to see it just before you leave your home.

And one final note:  At this time of year, I am so, so, so, busy… and I get so, so, so many messages/emails/texts/etc, that sometimes your
message might accidentally go unanswered.  If that happens… message me again if you don’t hear back from me within 24 hrs.

Rant over… (I will continue my deep breathing now)


MEMORIAL SERVICES
A celebration to honor Mayor Joey – Tuesday morning “coffee klatch” 9am-11am
As most of you heard already, Joe Pettegrew (aka Mayor Joey) passed away on July 21st.   Joey had been battling health issues over the past
years, but the big one was Parkinson’s disease.  The Parkinson’s diagnosis came last year, and that’s what finally ended his amazing life.  

Mayor Joey was my right-hand man during most of my tenure as leader of both Spanky’s and the conGLOMerate village.  The original
“Skunkworks” was his and Laura’s ranch in Fallon, NV (where we used to have all our work/party weekends, and stored all our camp stuff
during the off-season).  Mayor Joey was a legend in the Burning Man community… and he was my dear friend.
      
Mayor Joey designed and built the iconic toys and contraptions that Spanky’s (and the conGLOMerate village) were famous for, such as;
The original Spank-O-Matic machine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj3U0woN0bs
The Teeter Totter of Death https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7enf6A8gp6M and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR85OeaiCX0  
The Chairway to Heaven tower https://gallery.burningman.org/search/?q=jim+hillas
The original Orgasmatron (if you search YouTube for “Mayor Joey in his Element” you’ll find a video that Joey uploaded, showing, among
other things, the original Orgasmatron)

He also built some other older, lesser-known gadgets and attractions, like; The bar’s pneumatic can crusher, the “Bad Goat Box”, the Burn-
Your-Own-Man machine, the Glass Firefalls, the Sunlight Photo Booth, the Rack & Roll machine, and The Slammer…which was a fucking
machine that never quite worked right, lol… this is a must-see video (perhaps the funniest/greatest video on YouTube): https://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=Xc2QDnGm9S4

Joey was a fantastic dreamer, designer, and builder.  Joey was also one of the founding members of the playa-famous Burning Band.  Many
of you remember him playing his trumpet during our annual Little Black Dress parade on the playa.

Many of my (and others) fondest memories of Joey were the times we spent with him in our little morning coffee klatches on the playa.  We’d
all sit around a shady area in camp.  We’d all tell our playa-tales and default-world tales…Joey’s were usually doozies.  We’d laugh our
asses off.  We’d plan and scheme.  We’d mock the Bman “yahoos”…Joey’s nickname for Sparkle Ponies, Bros, Party Animals, and the like.  
We would drink our coffee (Joey would likely be downing beer or vodka by this time…lol) and snack on some food.  And we would enjoy the
morning sun as it warmed the playa.

So, in the spirit of those memories…
Spanky’s Wine Bar will be hosting a memorial service for Joey on Tuesday from 9am-11am.  The service will be very similar to those
morning coffee klatches.  All are welcome to join, from camps far and wide.  We can all share our stories, memories, pass around photos,
and such.  After the service, we will have a procession to The Temple and write our missives, leave photos, etc.

NOTE:  We would like to know if some Spankers can donate some breakfast-ish snacks to the service and assist Eve with the coffee/food
serving (we need RVers with coffee makers to help keep the coffee flowing).  Joey had many friends in the Burning Man community, so we
can expect quite a few guests under the BASS for the event.
NOTE:  If anyone has an RV couch/bed that Laura can sleep on Monday and Tuesday nights, please let me know.  She is coming to the playa
solely for the purpose of attending the memorial service for her beloved man Joey.

Sheri LaFurge – Tuesday morning 11:30, at The Temple
After we have all had our time at The Temple for Mayor Joey… we will move to the other side of The Temple and honor our friend and fellow
Spanker, Sheri LaFurge.  Sheri passed away this past December.  Here is a re-posting of the announcement I made then…

From December 11, 2017:
Our friend and fellow Spanker, Sheri LaFurge, passed away this morning.  She finally succumb to the bile duct cancer that she had been
battling for years.  Roughly a year ago, we got some short-lived good news when the cancer went into remission, but several months ago, it
came back… and that latest, terrible diagnosis was resolute.  Sheri opted to forego more rounds of brutal treatments because she wanted to
have a more comfortable and peaceful end-of-life.

Sheri is at peace now.  I am very happy that she came into our lives, and shared her love, warmth, and passions with us.  She was our friend
and playa-compatriot.

For many years, Sheri had dreamt of going to Burning Man.  And in 2015 (after her cousin, Lady Victoria, had camped with us for the first time)
she told Sheri her tales of the playa…and of her new friends at Spanky’s.  Sheri now wanted to go more than ever.  At that time, Sheri was
already battling cancer, so making this happen was going to be a challenge.  Lady Victoria told me about Sheri and her dream of coming to
Burning Man.  We both immediately got to work on tackling the logistics of making it happen.

Sheri was able to get her wish… she joined us at Burning Man in 2016, and officially became a Spanker.  During that burn, I got to spend a
good amount of time with Sheri.  It’s always fun travelling around the playa with a newbie.  You get to see them, wide-eyed and awestruck, as
they view the largess that is Burning Man; the vast playa, and all of the improbable wonders peppered on its harsh, dry surface.  This was
doubly so with Sheri.  It was very special for me.

From time to time, during the event, I inquisitively mused to Sheri, “So, what do you think?”   And despite the art, massive installations, art
cars, music, playa, etc. (which were obviously blowing her mind), the first part of her response was always about how wonderful all these
“burners” are… especially the ones in her camp… us.  That melted my heart.  Sheri adored all of you.  The gift that Lady Victoria provided to
Sheri was more-so a gift to all of us.

Larry Harvey – Founder of Burning Man:  Tuesday at high noon at the Temple.
Well, since we’re there…  (sorry for the ironic humor)
After we pay our respect to Sheri, please join us as we mourn the passing of Larry Harvey.  As the creator of Burning Man, we all owe Larry a
huge amount of gratitude.  If it were not for him, most of us wouldn’t know each other.  If it weren’t for him, most of us wouldn’t have ever
found such and amazing event that would evolve our lives in such magical ways.

Below are some thoughts I posted on FB shortly after Larry passed away on April 27th of this year…
I met Larry for the first time around 20 years ago.  It was my second year at Burning Man.  I was a passenger on an art car (Captain Pepper's
Living Room) and we rolled up on a large group of people listening to some guy speak.  We came to a stop and listened.

After a few minutes, a Burner sitting next to me told me that the guy speaking was Larry... the guy who created the event. I couldn't tell you
what the speech was about, because I only caught the last couple minutes of it. But I felt compelled to introduce myself, after he was done
talking.

Back then, I didn't have a playa-name yet, so I meekly said, "Hi Larry, my name's Jim. Thank you for creating my personal Utopia. You've
restored my faith in humanity." He responded by asking me, "Why do you consider this Utopia?". To which I responded, "This is the first place
on Earth that I've felt comfortable being myself... my honest, unguarded self".

Over the early years, Larry and I ran into each other from time-to-time. Back then, he remembered my face, but not my name... which is
understandable. When I teamed up with Alex (Soss Boss) and the PlayaQ crew, I had many more encounters with Larry. Soss, myself and
the PlayaQ were doing "Carne Armada" attacks on Bman Org. camps, other Theme Camps, and BBQing for Bman events off-playa (like the
Newbie Burner event in GG Park in SF... and the "How It Is" meetings at Bman HQ in SF). Soss Boss had hung the playa-name "Admiral
Painjoy" on me, and it stuck. And then one day it happened... Larry finally remembered my name! "Hey Painjoy... how ya doing?" It may seem
a bit silly, but I felt so honored.

For the past 10 years-or-so, I'd run into Larry on the playa, or at Bman events, and we'd sit and chat for a bit. I wouldn't say that we were good
friends, but he always was happy to see me, and took the time to shoot-the-shit with me. Larry and I were good acquaintances.

When Larry passed away this year. I was, of course, very sad... but also, I was filled with regret. I regret that I never told him what he (and his
legacy...Burning Man) had done for me.

Over the years at Bman my life has changed... it has evolved. Bman has made me happier, wiser, more worldly, more compassionate, and a
better leader. Bman has inspired and fanned the flames of my creativity. In the milieu of Black Rock City, I took it upon myself to use Larry's
creation as my own personal venue to create Spanky's Wine Bar... something that I am very proud of, and has grown to become a well-known
and celebrated camp at Bman, filled with wonderfully diverse and amazing people.

Because of Larry, I have hundreds of new friends in my life. And because Bman has inspired me (and my fellow Spankers) so much, we
have fostered a sort of "tree of friendships" that has grown exponentially over the years. There are so many connections/friendships that
would never have happened, were it not for me... and in turn, Larry. And I'm merely a cog in the giant wheel that is Burning Man. There are
countless other "me's" out there, who have created, lead, fostered, and championed Larry's legacy.

I wish I had told him that. But as I write this, I realize that I don't need to feel regret... I did tell him. I told him on the first day we met. I thanked
him for creating my own personal Utopia.

Rest in peace Larry Harvey... and Thank You. You created a movement, and an international community. Your legacy will live on... in all of us.
Long live The Hat!


BURNING MAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES
Once again… please let me know if you still need a ticket or vehicle pass.  I need to reconcile the books.

We just had a couple of Spankers bail  :(
This means we have a couple of DGS tix available for Spankers who are still in need.  Email me ASAP!  NOTE: These tix MUST be used by
people camping at Spanky’s who will pay camp dues.


SWB UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
As mentioned above, we had a couple Spankers bail at the last minute.  Those Spankers are Lady Raven and Sean.  Lady Raven was our
head Bar Manager at Spanky’s, (along with Tripp).  She and Sean will be sorely missed this year.  That left an opening in the SWB
Management roster, so I am pleased to announce…

Red Queen (aka Amanda) is stepping in to fill the role of Co-Bar Manager with Tripp.  If you’re interested in Bartending, she and Tripp are the
one’s to see.  Red Queen has tons of experience at our bar.  I have every confidence in her leadership.  Please treat her and Tripp with love
and respect.


ONE RV AVAILABLE FOR RENT
Dano (fellow Spanker) has one RV left for rent.  It’s a beauty.  $4200.00 delivered to your SWB RV spot!
Contact him at tahoesherpa@yahoo.com if you’re interested.


ELECTRICAL POWER
We’re talking the 120V kind, like magically comes out of the walls, or out of sockets on the ground in Spanky’s.

Since the beginning of Spanky’s, we’ve had a power grid to meet our electrical needs, with the excess power available to Spankers on a
limited basis.  This year we will have two completely independent power grids with two separate generators:

A)        SPANKY’S POWER GRID - The other is the camp grid.  Power will be distributed for sound, lights, Spanky’s attractions, etc.  In
addition, power that’s left over will be distributed to our residential areas with outlet boxes on red plywood octagons.    Every Spanker is
welcomed to plug into this grid, but there are some very significant limitations.  You should know:

B)        DRAGGER’S RV POWER GRID - One grid is for people who want to use the air conditioning in their RVs without running their own
generators.  This is a service that’s independent from Spanky’s, and the vendor is Dragger.  Connecting to this grid required extra pre-
payment, and the cut-off date was a couple of months ago.  Further information about connecting to and using this grid is being provided by
Dragger directly to his customers.


1)  You may be as much as 75 feet from an outlet.  You should bring two (2) medium duty extension cords, one each 25- and 50-foot, and you
should bring a plug-strip.  Use a felt-tip permanent marker to put your name or initials on everything.

2)  To help control costs (and for a short period of some blessed silence), we typically will run the generator from around 9 AM until 2 AM
every day.  If you have medical equipment that needs 24/7 power, let us know ASAP and we’ll see if we can help.

3) In most cases, two or three RVs will be sharing a 15-Amp circuit on the Spanky’s grid.  This should allow everyone to run their refrigerators
during the day and take care of other incidental loads (but not air conditioning).  You’ll may also be able to run your microwave oven, but that’s
not guaranteed.  (This paragraph does not apply to people getting power from Dragger.)

4) Your refrigerator will run from propane at night.  Speaking of magic – propane makes flame, and result is cold refrigerator.  Complete
magic.  Just be sure your propane tank is full before you hit the playa, or the magic will stop when the tank hits empty, and your heater won’t
work very well either.  Power from the Spanky’s grid will keep the refrigerator cold during the day without using propane.

5)  YOU CAN’T RUN AN AIR CONDITIONER FROM SPANKY’S GRID.  Don’t even try – you will probably trip a circuit breaker, you’ll piss off the
other people on your branch circuit who will also lose power when you trip the breaker, you may damage your air conditioner, and there’s a
good chance you’ll melt your power adapter.   Instead, if your RV has a generator, you’ll need to use it to power your air conditioner (unless
you are a Dragger customer).  Check with your RV provider to find out how to switch from external 117 V power (“shore power”) to the internal
generator.  If you didn’t sign up with Dragger for his power grid, and your RV doesn’t have a generator, you’ll need to bring your own 2.4 kW or
greater generator if you want to run your air conditioner.  Even if you were able to run an A/C from Spanky’s grid in the past, that won’t work
this year.  If you’re going to be using your internal generator, make sure you top off your gas tank in Gerlach on the way in.  Your generator will
stop running at about 1/4 tanks, rather than run you completely dry, just to be sure you’ve got enough gas to get to a station.

6)  You will need to bring an adapter to get from the power cord on your RV to a regular residential “Edison” outlet.  Make sure you get one
with your rental, or stop by Walmart or Camping World and pick one up for $10.  Without an appropriate adapter, you won’t be able to connect
to the Spanky’s grid.

7)  If you’re in an RV, we’ll try to have someone come by and do a check-out with you on power after you arrive.  Be sure to tell your placer if
you have any questions or concerns to be sure you promptly get that visit.

8)  SWB power is also provided to tent campers for lights, coffee pots, phone chargers and the like.  #1 applies – bring a couple of extension
cords and a plug strip, marked so you’ll get them back.


WHAT TO DO UPON ARRIVAL AT SPANKY’S
It’s critically important that you park in the area shown as “Check-in Parking” when you arrive, or if that is full, on one of our internal roads.

Please, Please, Please, don’t try to determine your own location from the map and self-place.  And don’t ask the first Spanker you see to help
you find the location of your camp.  Things change, and the final map on the website may not match the reality of Black Rock City (especially if
Placement throws us a curve when we check-in with them).  Sometimes dimensions provided for RVs aren’t accurate.  Slides on RVs can
affect their width.  Sequencing in a block can be impacted by order of arrival.  We typically need to place RVs next to each other as they arrive,
rather than dropping someone in the middle of a block with openings on either side.  In short, there are a lot of factors that could have an
impact on your placement.  If you do end up getting moved from what’s shown on the map, it probably won’t be very far, but far enough that if
you set up camp where you think the map says you should be, that could be a big problem (requiring you to relocate).

After parking in the “Check-In Parking” area, walk over near the BASS and go do the check-in with an “SWB Placer”.  Placers this year are:
Admiral Painjoy (Jim), eLeM (Lisa Marie), Shark Bait (Rachel), Sky (John McCarty), and Major-D (Doug).  If anyone else tries to help you park
in your spot, they aren’t working with the latest and most complete information, and there’s a good chance they’ll help you park in a place
where you’ll need to relocate, once a placer gets involved.

It's never fun to tell people they have to move, especially after someone has driven all night and no placer was available at 4 AM.  If this is you,
just park on an internal road and go to sleep.  We’ll get you into the right place in the morning.


VILLAGE MAP
For your viewing pleasure… the Spanky’s Village Map is now posted on the website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/campmap.html
Contact Major-D with any questions:  dougl@fed-specs.com

APPETIZER PROGRAM
In past years, Spanky’s has had a wonderful appetizer program…info here: http://www.jimhillas.org/guidelines.html
This year, the Appetizer Program is voluntary.  But I suggest y’all do it.  It’s a great way to meet your fellow Spankers.  Plus, if we all do it, there’
s usually food being served somewhere in camp.
PLUS… It would be great if some food could be served during the Memorial Services on Tuesday morning.  Please coordinate with Eve on
this; eve.vargas@farmersinsurance.com


EMERGENCY COMMUNICATION WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD
If everything goes according to plan, we should have reliable WiFi at Spanky’s for those who need/want it.  See Major-D or Red Queen for
more info and help.  Regular cell service was also available last year for part of the event, but it was pretty sketchy.

Now if you don’t like the idea of outside communications, that’s ok… just pretend it doesn’t exist.  However, if you need to check emails, get
on the interwebz, even skype, they should all be working.    You can also give your friends, biz associates, family, etc. this e-mail address and
phone number to send messages for emergencies and urgent situations:

messages@spankyswinebar.com       (714) 408-1388

Someone will check both every day, and if a message comes in we’ll get it to you.


LAW ENFORCEMENT AT BURNING MAN
This is a “must read”…
https://burners.me/2017/08/09/how-to-deal-with-cops-at-burning-man-2017/


RV MATING & RIDESHARES
Rod H. (aka Amethyst) is our Rideshare & RV Mating Coordinator.  Here’s some info from Amethyst…

“What is RV mating? Well kids, when two RVs love each other very, very much...

But seriously, if you have spot(s) open for an RV mate, or would like to join an RV crew, or are willing to have a fellow Spanker(s) road trip
with you or would like to get picked up for a road trip to the Playa or return to the default world, email Rod (Amethyst) at izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Rod will coordinate connecting hosts with mates and riders with drivers.

Want an RV Mate?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) where you are originating from, 3) your dates of Playa arrival and exodus, 4) how many RV mate
spot(s) you have, 5) picture(s) of your ship on wheels. No other details are needed about your amazing RV accommodations or admission
rituals and costs, you will provide the list of luxuries, oddities and costs directly to your potential RV mate(s).

Want to offer a Rideshare?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) how many Rideshare spot(s) you have, 3) where you are originating from , 4) picture of your
vehicle and 5) the dates you are starting your trek to and from the Playa and/or Reno. No other details about your sweet ride, safe word or
fares, you can brag it up with your possible captive who will need to endure your taste in music.

Want to be an RV Mate?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) dates you are planning to arrive on the Playa and return to the default world and 3) casting couch
picture. If you also need a Rideshare, include the Rideshare information below in same email.

Want to get a Rideshare?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) where you are originating from and/or heading to after exodus, 3) date(s) you are able to get
picked up and/or ejected to the default world, and 4) head shot of you on a car hood.

After I help you connect, I leave your threesome or more and you do your seductive negotiating and arrange any exchange of payment. All
mating arrangements and Rideshare agreements are settled between hosts and mates, drivers and riders.
Check Spanky's Facebook for status on supply and demand for these services and other updates.”
Rod (Amethyst)
izcre8ive@yahoo.com


RV TIPS
And since we’re on the subject of RVs… here’s some RV tips/info that Eve (aka Dirty Bird) put together for all you RVers out there;
http://www.jimhillas.org/rvtips.html


That’s all for July….two more issues of The Paddler coming in August!
HugKissSpank,
Admiral Painjoy

NOTE:  There will be one more pre-Bman issue of The Paddler coming soon!


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Da Man
      Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner & other stuff and
things
      dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of the Bar
      ashcraaj@yahoo.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Executive Director of Stuff
      lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
      tahoesherpa@yahoo.com
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (kitchen services)
      eve.vargas@farmersinsurance.com
Winter – Ice Queen
      winter_woman17@yahoo.com
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – RV power guy who wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
      agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
      john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, sharks with lasers attached to their heads, music, Eros Tangere, other stuff
      ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
      crbooth@martianwind.com
Red Queen (Amanda) & Tripp - Bar Managers
      ashcraaj@yahoo.com
      tripp3857@comcast.net
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Serendipity Kitty (Lady Victoria) – Lead Mistresses (MOD Squad)
      oliviarosexxx@yahoo.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
      djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
      srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
      mwharri01@gmail.com
      izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
      lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted
The Paddler
The Monthly Newsletter for
Spanky’s Wine Bar
August 2018 – Part 2
“I USED TO BE SNOW WHITE…BUT I DRIFTED”
~yet another QUOTE… by Mae West~

In this issue……which should be read while listening to: Goin’ Home, by Dan Auerbach: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fQ8WNjrxOY

        PLAYA REPORT
        “ENHANCED” LAW ENFORCEMENT OPERATIONS IN PROGRESS
        BURNING MAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES
        ONE RV AVAILABLE FOR RENT
        WHAT TO DO UPON ARRIVAL AT SPANKY’S
        MANDATORY MONDAY MEETING AT SWB
        VILLAGE MAP
        AFTERBURN WORK/PARTY WEEKEND
        SWB STAPH


PLAYA REPORT
Howdy El Spankerinos!  Admiral Painjoy here, reporting to you from sunny Nevada.  The weather is here… wish you were beautiful ;)

Early build is under way, despite the fact that Major-D’s RV blew it’s engine an hour into his drive from the LA area to Bman (he made it to
Tahachapi, then had to be towed back home).  But fear not.  He’s doing all the things necessary to get himself up to the playa soon…and
we’re doing our best to layout the village, build, and place things without his expert guidance.  We can do this because of all the hard work
he did on creating a masterful/accurate village map in the months leading up to Bman.  Be sure to show Doug some love when you see
him on the playa.  

The weather report is great… but a little chilly at night.  The 10 day forecast calls for daytime highs in the 80s/90s and nighttime lows in the
50s to high 40s.  Don’t forget to pack a good coat!
And the playa surface is good too.  Very hard packed.  Very few dunes and playa-snakes.  I don’t wanna jinx it, but it looks like the dust may
not be too bad this year.

The Early Build crew is hard at work on creating your home for the upcoming week at Spanky’s/Bman.  They will all be suffiently exhausted
by the time most of you get there.  You can show your appreciation to these bad-ass, dedicated Spankers when you get there by giving them
a well-deserved back massage, some bacon, foot massage, oral sex, whatever ;)

And the best way to show thanks to all of us who worked so hard, prepping and creating your camp, at the Work/Party weekends, and on-
playa for Early Build…
Do you part to help run the village during the event!  Volunteer for workshifts, such as; bartending, bar-backing, stage dancing, Spank-O-
Matic operator, Mistress, LNT staff, camp ambassador/carnival barker, ice runner, masseuse, security, fire performer, etc.  REMEMBER…
all Spankers are expected to volunteer for at least 12 hrs of workshifts over the course of the event.  There are no sign-ups this year, just see
the daily Camp Bitch for assignments.  Job descriptions are on the SWB website: http://www.jimhillas.org/workshifts.html

AND REMEMBER… We ALL stay on-playa until the end.  We ALL help break down the camp.  We ALL do the MOOP sweeps on Monday
morning.  Then we ALL leave the playa together.  
The only way out of this is if you paid “freeloader” dues.


“ENHANCED” LAW ENFORCEMENT OPERATIONS IN PROGRESS
The rumors are true.  The tribal police in the Wadsworth/Nixon area of Hwy 447 are being EXTREMELY STRICT about all traffic laws and
vehicle laws.  They ain’t kidding around.  And if they pull you over, they are making every effort to search your vehicle and use drug-sniffing
dogs.   

Make sure your vehicles are in perfect working order (All lights working, all reg/tags good, license plate unobstructed, etc.)  And make sure
you drive perfectly too (stay under the speed limit, don’t swerve over the yellow line, use turn signals, etc).

If you do get pulled over, be polite and respectful.  And know your rights.  It’s never a good idea to voluntarily give up your constitutional
rights.  Read more here:
https://burners.me/2017/08/09/how-to-deal-with-cops-at-burning-man-2017/


BURNING MAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES
Once again… please let me know if you still need a ticket or vehicle pass.  I need to reconcile the books.

We just had a couple of Spankers that had to cancel at the last minute  :(
This means we have a couple of DGS tix available for Spankers who are still in need.  Email me ASAP!  NOTE: These tix MUST be used by
people camping at Spanky’s who will pay camp dues and help out with the camp!



ONE RV AVAILABLE FOR RENT
Dano (fellow Spanker) has one RV left for rent.  It’s a beauty.  Price lowered from $4200.00 to $3500.00 delivered to the playa… to your SWB
RV spot!
Contact him at tahoesherpa@yahoo.com if you’re interested.


WHAT TO DO UPON ARRIVAL AT SPANKY’S
It’s critically important that you park in the area shown as “Check-in Parking” when you arrive, or if that is full, on one of our internal roads.

Please, Please, Please, don’t try to determine your own location from the map and self-place.  And don’t ask the first Spanker you see to
help you find the location of your camp.  Things change, and the final map on the website may not match the reality of Black Rock City
(especially if Placement throws us a curve when we check-in with them).  Sometimes dimensions provided for RVs aren’t accurate.  Slides
on RVs can affect their width.  Sequencing in a block can be impacted by order of arrival.  We typically need to place RVs next to each other
as they arrive, rather than dropping someone in the middle of a block with openings on either side.  In short, there are a lot of factors that
could have an impact on your placement.  If you do end up getting moved from what’s shown on the map, it probably won’t be very far, but far
enough that if you set up camp where you think the map says you should be, that could be a big problem (requiring you to relocate).

After parking in the “Check-In Parking” area, walk over near the BASS and go do the check-in with an “SWB Placer”.  Placers this year are:
Admiral Painjoy (Jim), eLeM (Lisa Marie), Shark Bait (Rachel), Sky (John McCarty), and Major-D (Doug).  If anyone else tries to help you park
in your spot, they aren’t working with the latest and most complete information, and there’s a good chance they’ll help you park in a place
where you’ll need to relocate, once a placer gets involved.

It's never fun to tell people they have to move, especially after someone has driven all night and no placer was available at 4 AM.  If this is
you, just park on an internal road and go to sleep.  We’ll get you into the right place in the morning.


MANDATORY MONDAY MEETING AT SWB
We will be having our annual Village-wide, mandatory meeting on Monday, Aug 27th at 5pm under the Big Ass Shade Structure at Spanky’s.  
This is the Welcome Meeting, run by yours-truly, Admiral Painjoy.  Everyone in Spanky’s must attend this meeting (unless you haven’t arrived
on-playa yet).

At the Welcome Meeting, APJ will be relaying important info to everyone and introducing you all to some of the key people in Spanky’s.  The
meeting should last approximately one hour.  Bring your camp chair and water.

VILLAGE MAP
For your viewing pleasure… the UPDATED Spanky’s Village Map is now posted on the website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/campmap.html
Contact Major-D with any questions:  dougl@fed-specs.com


AFTERBURN WORK/PARTY WEEKEND
After Bman, we have our MOST IMPORTANT work/party weekend.  PLEASE ATTEND!!!
It’s at Liam & Donna’s place, the Kinky Mountain Farm (5111 Marshall Rd.  Garden Valley, CA 95633).
The big rental truck will be arriving on Monday (Labor Day) or Tuesday after Bman.
The truck needs to be unloaded, and then cleaned, cleaned, cleaned, so that we can return it to Uhaul as if it never went to the playa!  
Over the following days (Wed-Sun) we will clean, organize, pack up, and store all our camp stuff for the off-season.

MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK.  Last year the turn-out was pathetic.  If that happens again this year, I might have to reconsider doing
Spanky’s in the future.  Make my decision easy… come help!  A few days at the Kinky Mountain Farm is a great way to decompress after
Burning Man.  And it’s also really nice to see your fellow Spankers one more time before saying goodbye and going back to our default lives.

Looking forward to seeing all your dusty, smiling faces in a few days!
HugKissSpank,
Admiral Painjoy


SWB STAPH
Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Da Man
       Jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner & other stuff and
things
       dougl@fed-specs.com
Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of the Bar
       ashcraaj@yahoo.com
eLeM (Lisa Marie) – Executive Director of Stuff
       lunar.lemon@gmail.com
Dano – Lead builder and guy with a hammer
       tahoesherpa@yahoo.com
Eve – Mistress of Morsels (kitchen services)
       eve.vargas@farmersinsurance.com
Winter – Ice Queen
       winter_woman17@yahoo.com
Dragger – Camp Lola Leader – RV power guy who wields lightning bolts (eeeek!)
       agelessracing@hotmail.com
Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks
       john@luxdynamics.com
Lazer – Cool Lights, sharks with lasers attached to their heads, music, Eros Tangere, other stuff
       ryan@newrule.com
Christopher Robbin – LNT Coordinator
       crbooth@martianwind.com
Red Queen (Amanda) & Tripp - Bar Managers
       ashcraaj@yahoo.com
       tripp3857@comcast.net
Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Serendipity Kitty (Lady Victoria) – Lead Mistresses (MOD Squad)
       oliviarosexxx@yahoo.com
Dirty Dan – DJ… freak… event planner
       djdirtydan@gmail.com
Magic Man – Camp Dentist (retired), Yogi, and Hauler of Big-Ass-Heavy-Gennies
DocMoc (Mark) – Healthcare Specialist – Camp MD and bad influence
       srfmrt@gmail.com
Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (they bathe often)
       mwharri01@gmail.com
       izcre8ive@yahoo.com
Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things
       lightupwire@gmail.com

Art Cars:
Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D
Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole) – John M. (Sky)
The Magic Carpet – Twisted