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MAY 2008 - Issue #2
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
MAY 2008
Only 98 days til Burningman
(or 14 weeks or 2352 hours or 141,120 minutes or 8,467,200 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> The ever-growing monster that is “Spanky’s Website”
> New Peeps
> Camp Power Grid & BFG fund
> Camp Dues
> Spanky’s Chat List
> Wine name/label ideas
> Call for Best Buttz Judges
> New Events
****************************************************************
SPANKY’S WEBSITE
Admiral Painjoy was adrift at sea last month and had loads of free time to drink
rum and work on the website.
The site has become… well… in a word… more-super-happi-kewl-erific. The pics
on the site are nearly all mouse-overs.
There are links hidden everywhere. It has become a, crazy steam of the Admiral’s
interweb consciousness and a useful camp tool as well as a great way to waste a few hours of
your day.
Plus… you can sign up there! (and pay dues too)
****************************************************************
NEW PEEPS
The past month has seen a lotta action. We have two groups merging with us
in Spanky’s Wine Bar…
The first group is the infamous “Burning Band”… huzzah!!!
The BBanders have been good friends of the Admiral for many years.
The BBand has been providing musical accompaniment to (and hosting) events
on the playa since the late 1940s.
The have also lead some of the greatest parades at Burningman,
including the Weird Underwear Brigade and the LBD (Little Black Dress) Parade.
More info on Burning Band events and participation coming soon.
The second group merging with SWB are the “Villains and Virgins” camp.
A group of bi-coastal, bi-lingual, bi-sected, bi-cycling, bi-nary, bi-…
(you’re just dying for me to say bi-sexual, aren’t ya?... well, that’s none of yer
beeswax!)
Lead by Phil A., Myk and KP (who many of you know from the PlayaQ),
the Villains and Virgins will host an event at Spanky’s as well as adding
to the nightly excitement of our bondage wall and toys.
More info on the V&V event coming soon
New Peeps that signed up in Spanky’s Wine Bar in the past month are:
Quantum Glen (Florida)
Don S (Calif)
Paco & Kat Walker (Calif)
Lisa Marie eLeM (Florida)
Charlie C (Calif)
Carmen & Pooch (Calif – Bband)
Waterfall (Florida)
Pope Dirty Bastard (Oregon)
Ronni-la (Calif – Bband)
Schel & Tracy (FL/Oregon)
Phil A (Florida – V&V)
Myk L (Florida – V&V)
KP (Florda – V&V)
Candice (Calif – V&V)
Geoff with a G (Seattle – Bband)
Elise W (Florida)
Kingsize & Funsize
Welcome newcummers… you’re heart may belong to the Man…
But your ASS belongs to SPANKY’S!
***************************************************************
POWER GRID & BFG FUND
It’s beginning to look like we could have enough money/people to rent a Big Fuckin
Generator (BFG) and use our old conGLOMerate village service panel and power
grid… if we get some additional donations
There is now a place on the website to donate toward the BFG fund.
If you are able to donate anything above and beyond your minimum dues
(ten bucks, a hundred bucks, a thousand bucks) you will be blessed with great
karma on the playa.
The benefits of a BFG are…
> There will be power (25kw or more) for the whole camp (nearly 24/7)
> Diesel is less dangerous than gasoline
> The diesel XQs are considerably more quiet than the noisy Coleman 5kws we
currently have (I used to camp right near the XQ in the Glom and the humming
sound lulled me to sleep and drowned out the ambient Bman noise)
> We don’t need to build soundproofing boxes
> They don’t need to be refueled every two/three hours
> They don’t overheat
> We can get diesel fuel deliveries on the playa
> We already have a power grid built for this purpose
> There will be outdoor rated plugs throughout the camp
> We will still have a 5kw Coleman and a solar 500w as a backup
The drawbacks…
> The genny and the diesel fuel cost more
> We will need much more fuel
> We need to find somebody to pick up and drop off the genny from the rental
place (prolly Reno, Sparks or Fallon, NV). If you can help with this, contact
Admiral Painjoy.
***************************************************************
CAMP DUES
Don’t forget, camp dues go up on June 1st. But please pay above the minimum
if you can.
Many people have signed up, but have not yet paid dues. Y’all are
probably waiting for the dues to go up on June 1st so you can donate more…
that’s so sweet, but you don’t have to wait. We can take more now!
You can pay extra by check of course…
OR you can pay 2x dues, 3x dues, etc at the camp dues area of the
Dues/Budget page where you’ll see the “PayPal Payments” button…
OR you can donate any amount at the BFG fund
“PayPal Donate” button (Top right of the Dues/Budget page of the website).
Minimum dues go up July 1st and August 1st also.
Here’s the link to the website again:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
***************************************************************
THE YAHOOGROUPS CHAT LIST
This is the place where we talk about our camp this year. We brainstorm ideas, get to know each
other, make decisions about the camp, tell dirty jokes, etc. If you wanna be a part of this, join the
group.
Click the link below to join the chat list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
Right now, the chat list is slow, but as we get closer to the event, it will be quite
chatty. You can sign off (or switch to “digest”) at any time if it gets to be too much
for ya.
If you prefer not to be on the list, you will receive this monthly newsletter to keep you up to date on
what’s going on, however, your voice will not be heard with regard to new ideas, changes,
decisions, etc.
************************************************************
WINE LABEL & NAME IDEAS
The wines donated to the bar will have new wine labels attached. We need ideas for new names
for the wines. They should be humorous, silly, disgusting, whatever. We need name ideas and
art for the labels.
Please submit ideas on the chat list, or email directly to Admiral Painjoy
Also, If anyone has access to cheap printer labels (full page size or 10 per page…
contact APJ
***********************************************************
WE NEED JUDGES FOR THE BEST BUTTZ CONTEST
On Thursday afternoon at Spanky’s we will be hosting the “Bad Boyz of Burningman Best Buttz
Contest”. We need judges to assess the asses and the performances. Buttz will be judged in
the following categories:
> Nicest Butt
> Reddest Butt
> Most Artistic Butt
> Best Ass Shankin’
Judges must be female and a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar. Bribes from contestants may be
accepted by the judges!
Interested in being a judge? Sign up on the website.
**********************************************************
NEW CAMP EVENTS
There are some new things goin on in camp…
> The Shirt-Cocker’s Ball
> The Little Black Dress Parade
> Hello Camp
Go to the website and click on “Events” for more details!
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
**********************************************************
That’s it for this issue… stay tuned for more fun and excitement in June!
Next month… the budget.
apj
“It was already on fire when I got here”
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral Painjoy at:
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
MAY 2008
Only 98 days til Burningman
(or 14 weeks or 2352 hours or 141,120 minutes or 8,467,200 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> The ever-growing monster that is “Spanky’s Website”
> New Peeps
> Camp Power Grid & BFG fund
> Camp Dues
> Spanky’s Chat List
> Wine name/label ideas
> Call for Best Buttz Judges
> New Events
****************************************************************
SPANKY’S WEBSITE
Admiral Painjoy was adrift at sea last month and had loads of free time to drink
rum and work on the website.
The site has become… well… in a word… more-super-happi-kewl-erific. The pics
on the site are nearly all mouse-overs.
There are links hidden everywhere. It has become a, crazy steam of the Admiral’s
interweb consciousness and a useful camp tool as well as a great way to waste a few hours of
your day.
Plus… you can sign up there! (and pay dues too)
****************************************************************
NEW PEEPS
The past month has seen a lotta action. We have two groups merging with us
in Spanky’s Wine Bar…
The first group is the infamous “Burning Band”… huzzah!!!
The BBanders have been good friends of the Admiral for many years.
The BBand has been providing musical accompaniment to (and hosting) events
on the playa since the late 1940s.
The have also lead some of the greatest parades at Burningman,
including the Weird Underwear Brigade and the LBD (Little Black Dress) Parade.
More info on Burning Band events and participation coming soon.
The second group merging with SWB are the “Villains and Virgins” camp.
A group of bi-coastal, bi-lingual, bi-sected, bi-cycling, bi-nary, bi-…
(you’re just dying for me to say bi-sexual, aren’t ya?... well, that’s none of yer
beeswax!)
Lead by Phil A., Myk and KP (who many of you know from the PlayaQ),
the Villains and Virgins will host an event at Spanky’s as well as adding
to the nightly excitement of our bondage wall and toys.
More info on the V&V event coming soon
New Peeps that signed up in Spanky’s Wine Bar in the past month are:
Quantum Glen (Florida)
Don S (Calif)
Paco & Kat Walker (Calif)
Lisa Marie eLeM (Florida)
Charlie C (Calif)
Carmen & Pooch (Calif – Bband)
Waterfall (Florida)
Pope Dirty Bastard (Oregon)
Ronni-la (Calif – Bband)
Schel & Tracy (FL/Oregon)
Phil A (Florida – V&V)
Myk L (Florida – V&V)
KP (Florda – V&V)
Candice (Calif – V&V)
Geoff with a G (Seattle – Bband)
Elise W (Florida)
Kingsize & Funsize
Welcome newcummers… you’re heart may belong to the Man…
But your ASS belongs to SPANKY’S!
***************************************************************
POWER GRID & BFG FUND
It’s beginning to look like we could have enough money/people to rent a Big Fuckin
Generator (BFG) and use our old conGLOMerate village service panel and power
grid… if we get some additional donations
There is now a place on the website to donate toward the BFG fund.
If you are able to donate anything above and beyond your minimum dues
(ten bucks, a hundred bucks, a thousand bucks) you will be blessed with great
karma on the playa.
The benefits of a BFG are…
> There will be power (25kw or more) for the whole camp (nearly 24/7)
> Diesel is less dangerous than gasoline
> The diesel XQs are considerably more quiet than the noisy Coleman 5kws we
currently have (I used to camp right near the XQ in the Glom and the humming
sound lulled me to sleep and drowned out the ambient Bman noise)
> We don’t need to build soundproofing boxes
> They don’t need to be refueled every two/three hours
> They don’t overheat
> We can get diesel fuel deliveries on the playa
> We already have a power grid built for this purpose
> There will be outdoor rated plugs throughout the camp
> We will still have a 5kw Coleman and a solar 500w as a backup
The drawbacks…
> The genny and the diesel fuel cost more
> We will need much more fuel
> We need to find somebody to pick up and drop off the genny from the rental
place (prolly Reno, Sparks or Fallon, NV). If you can help with this, contact
Admiral Painjoy.
***************************************************************
CAMP DUES
Don’t forget, camp dues go up on June 1st. But please pay above the minimum
if you can.
Many people have signed up, but have not yet paid dues. Y’all are
probably waiting for the dues to go up on June 1st so you can donate more…
that’s so sweet, but you don’t have to wait. We can take more now!
You can pay extra by check of course…
OR you can pay 2x dues, 3x dues, etc at the camp dues area of the
Dues/Budget page where you’ll see the “PayPal Payments” button…
OR you can donate any amount at the BFG fund
“PayPal Donate” button (Top right of the Dues/Budget page of the website).
Minimum dues go up July 1st and August 1st also.
Here’s the link to the website again:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
***************************************************************
THE YAHOOGROUPS CHAT LIST
This is the place where we talk about our camp this year. We brainstorm ideas, get to know each
other, make decisions about the camp, tell dirty jokes, etc. If you wanna be a part of this, join the
group.
Click the link below to join the chat list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
Right now, the chat list is slow, but as we get closer to the event, it will be quite
chatty. You can sign off (or switch to “digest”) at any time if it gets to be too much
for ya.
If you prefer not to be on the list, you will receive this monthly newsletter to keep you up to date on
what’s going on, however, your voice will not be heard with regard to new ideas, changes,
decisions, etc.
************************************************************
WINE LABEL & NAME IDEAS
The wines donated to the bar will have new wine labels attached. We need ideas for new names
for the wines. They should be humorous, silly, disgusting, whatever. We need name ideas and
art for the labels.
Please submit ideas on the chat list, or email directly to Admiral Painjoy
Also, If anyone has access to cheap printer labels (full page size or 10 per page…
contact APJ
***********************************************************
WE NEED JUDGES FOR THE BEST BUTTZ CONTEST
On Thursday afternoon at Spanky’s we will be hosting the “Bad Boyz of Burningman Best Buttz
Contest”. We need judges to assess the asses and the performances. Buttz will be judged in
the following categories:
> Nicest Butt
> Reddest Butt
> Most Artistic Butt
> Best Ass Shankin’
Judges must be female and a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar. Bribes from contestants may be
accepted by the judges!
Interested in being a judge? Sign up on the website.
**********************************************************
NEW CAMP EVENTS
There are some new things goin on in camp…
> The Shirt-Cocker’s Ball
> The Little Black Dress Parade
> Hello Camp
Go to the website and click on “Events” for more details!
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
**********************************************************
That’s it for this issue… stay tuned for more fun and excitement in June!
Next month… the budget.
apj
“It was already on fire when I got here”
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral Painjoy at:
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
JimHillas.Org Spanky's Wine Bar
APRIL 2008 - Issue #1
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
APRIL 2008
Only 150 days til Burningman
That’s 5 months
(or 21 weeks or 3600 hours or 216,000 minutes or 12,960,000 seconds!)
In this month’s infomercial:
> What Spanky’s is all about
> Website is open for business
> Yahoogroup chat list
> Wine name/label ideas?
> Call for “Best Buttz Contest” judges
> New members
******************************************************************
A MESSAGE FROM THE ADMIRAL
“Aye maytees! Ye rumors are true! Batten down yer hatches and swab yer poop-decks… Aft’r 3
years adrift on the open seas of the playa, Painjoy’s leadin’ a Burningman camp a’gin. Olde
Salts, Wenches, landlubbers and peg-boys alike shall be welcomed to raise glasses and flog
asses with yer lovin’ Admiral at the playa’s newest port-of-call… Spanky’s Wine Bar”
~Admiral Painjoy~
******************************************************************
WHAT SPANKY’S IS ALL ABOUT
A typical day at Spanky’s Wine Bar could be:
> Wake up and enjoy to the MPR (Morning Painjoy Radio) show whilst sipping coffee
> Rush to the bathroom because coffee is a diarrhetic
> Shower… apply sunscreen
> Have a cocktail and listen to insane, bizarre stories at the bar
> Eat some appetizers
> Dance
> Have another cocktail
> Take a nap with that sexy burner you just met at the bar
> Wake up and make some feeble, awkward attempts at sex
> Back to the bar for more appetizers… oh, and a cocktail
> View floggings and spankings of sexy burners
> Wander aimlessly (with a cocktail)
> Try to learn to spin poi
> Take two aspirins and nurse your new black eye (guys: consider a protective
cup for next time)
> Cocktail
> See what sort of antics your campmates are doing with the camp toys
> Eat dinner and discuss the subtle art of flaming enemas with campmates
> Begin assembling your costume for the night’s adventures
> Get frustrated because you can’t find that crucial part of your costume
> Get high
> Ask people if they have extra AAA batteries for your blinky thing
> Cocktail at the bar while you wait for everyone that was slower than you
> Appetizer
> Hitch a ride on an over-crowded art car (try to ignore the creeky sounds and the fact
that the car was built from found parts by a stoned guy that wears a blue tutu)
> Get totally lost for three hours because the art car left the Opulent Temple without you
> Find camp again and have a cocktail… and a cold appetizer you found in the fingers of
somebody passed out at the bar
> Try out the Spank-O-Matic machine
> Ponder changing your Burningman name
> Discuss grandiose plans for next year with friends at the bar
> Try to find out who that sexy guy/girl is with the riding crop and the ass-less chaps
> Dance badly
> Go to your tent to take a ten minute nap
> Wake up late the next morning
> Lather, rinse, repeat
(of course, individual results may vary)
Basically, it’s as if the Glom, The Q and Nothing Camp collided… Glom-lite, if you will.
The goal here is to have a camp that provides the most bang for the buck, with less effort than in
the past.
Spanky’s Wine Bar is going to be a laid-back “booze and bondage” camp with a cool bar and fun
playa toys. Spanky’s will not have set work shifts. Our bar and toys are open for business when
we feel like it. If nobody wants to tend bar or run the toys… so be it!... we will close up shop and
go out and enjoy the playa.
Spanky’s will also be a lower cost camp than the Glom or the PlayaQ. But this means that there
will be fewer amenities as well. No big power grid, no camp meals, no big cranes to rent and no
“chairway to heaven” tower. And we will not be home to a multitude of different themed camps…
just one camp with one theme.
**********************************************************
WEBSITE IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS
Here’s the url for the website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
There you will find all the details about the camp. You can sign-up, pay your dues and create a
bio and submit a pic to be posted on the site. Also, our toys, bar, structures, events, budget, etc.
are described there as well. Once you get there, save the url in “your favorites” so you don’t have
to type that long-ass url string every time you go there.
Explore the site… there are many secrets hidden within… links, mouse-over pics, etc. Plus, the
site changes and new members come on board all the time. Questions or comments about the
site should be directed to:
jimhillas_gc (at) yahoo (dot) com
***************************************************************
THE YAHOOGROUPS CHAT LIST
This is the place where we talk about our camp this year. We brainstorm ideas, get to know
each other, make decisions about the camp, tell dirty jokes, etc. If you wanna be a part of this,
join the group.
Click the link below to join the chat list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
If you prefer not to be on the list, you will receive this monthly newsletter to keep you up to date on
what’s going on, however, your voice will not be heard with regard to new ideas, changes,
decisions, etc.
************************************************************
WINE LABEL & NAME IDEAS
The wines donated to the bar will have new wine labels attached. We need ideas for new
names for the wines. They should be humorous, silly, disgusting, whatever. We need name
ideas and art for the labels.
Please submit ideas to the chat list, or email directly to Admiral Painjoy (art and/or photos
should be in .pjg format)
***********************************************************
WE NEED JUDGES FOR THE BEST BUTTZ CONTEST
On Thursday afternoon at Spanky’s we will be hosting the “Bad Boyz of Burningman Best Buttz
Contest”. We need judges to assess the asses and the performances. Buttz will be judged in
the following categories:
> Nicest Butt
> Reddest Butt
> Most Artistic Butt
> Best Ass Shankin’
Judges must be female and a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar. Bribes from contestants may be
accepted by the judges!
Interested in being a judge?
Email Admiral Painjoy at jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
**********************************************************
NEW MEMBERS
Well, the website opened just a few days ago and we now have 7 official members of Spanky’s
Wine Bar. They are:
> Admiral Painjoy
> Carbon Buildup
> Hooker Clown
> Mayor Joey
> Playmate
> Princess Jen
> Taximan
At this rate, by August, we should have 1258 campers!
Wanna join this debauchery? I know you do!
Click here to learn more
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
**********************************************************
That’s it for this issue… stay tuned for more fun and excitement in May!
apj
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral Painjoy at:
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
APRIL 2008
Only 150 days til Burningman
That’s 5 months
(or 21 weeks or 3600 hours or 216,000 minutes or 12,960,000 seconds!)
In this month’s infomercial:
> What Spanky’s is all about
> Website is open for business
> Yahoogroup chat list
> Wine name/label ideas?
> Call for “Best Buttz Contest” judges
> New members
******************************************************************
A MESSAGE FROM THE ADMIRAL
“Aye maytees! Ye rumors are true! Batten down yer hatches and swab yer poop-decks… Aft’r 3
years adrift on the open seas of the playa, Painjoy’s leadin’ a Burningman camp a’gin. Olde
Salts, Wenches, landlubbers and peg-boys alike shall be welcomed to raise glasses and flog
asses with yer lovin’ Admiral at the playa’s newest port-of-call… Spanky’s Wine Bar”
~Admiral Painjoy~
******************************************************************
WHAT SPANKY’S IS ALL ABOUT
A typical day at Spanky’s Wine Bar could be:
> Wake up and enjoy to the MPR (Morning Painjoy Radio) show whilst sipping coffee
> Rush to the bathroom because coffee is a diarrhetic
> Shower… apply sunscreen
> Have a cocktail and listen to insane, bizarre stories at the bar
> Eat some appetizers
> Dance
> Have another cocktail
> Take a nap with that sexy burner you just met at the bar
> Wake up and make some feeble, awkward attempts at sex
> Back to the bar for more appetizers… oh, and a cocktail
> View floggings and spankings of sexy burners
> Wander aimlessly (with a cocktail)
> Try to learn to spin poi
> Take two aspirins and nurse your new black eye (guys: consider a protective
cup for next time)
> Cocktail
> See what sort of antics your campmates are doing with the camp toys
> Eat dinner and discuss the subtle art of flaming enemas with campmates
> Begin assembling your costume for the night’s adventures
> Get frustrated because you can’t find that crucial part of your costume
> Get high
> Ask people if they have extra AAA batteries for your blinky thing
> Cocktail at the bar while you wait for everyone that was slower than you
> Appetizer
> Hitch a ride on an over-crowded art car (try to ignore the creeky sounds and the fact
that the car was built from found parts by a stoned guy that wears a blue tutu)
> Get totally lost for three hours because the art car left the Opulent Temple without you
> Find camp again and have a cocktail… and a cold appetizer you found in the fingers of
somebody passed out at the bar
> Try out the Spank-O-Matic machine
> Ponder changing your Burningman name
> Discuss grandiose plans for next year with friends at the bar
> Try to find out who that sexy guy/girl is with the riding crop and the ass-less chaps
> Dance badly
> Go to your tent to take a ten minute nap
> Wake up late the next morning
> Lather, rinse, repeat
(of course, individual results may vary)
Basically, it’s as if the Glom, The Q and Nothing Camp collided… Glom-lite, if you will.
The goal here is to have a camp that provides the most bang for the buck, with less effort than in
the past.
Spanky’s Wine Bar is going to be a laid-back “booze and bondage” camp with a cool bar and fun
playa toys. Spanky’s will not have set work shifts. Our bar and toys are open for business when
we feel like it. If nobody wants to tend bar or run the toys… so be it!... we will close up shop and
go out and enjoy the playa.
Spanky’s will also be a lower cost camp than the Glom or the PlayaQ. But this means that there
will be fewer amenities as well. No big power grid, no camp meals, no big cranes to rent and no
“chairway to heaven” tower. And we will not be home to a multitude of different themed camps…
just one camp with one theme.
**********************************************************
WEBSITE IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS
Here’s the url for the website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
There you will find all the details about the camp. You can sign-up, pay your dues and create a
bio and submit a pic to be posted on the site. Also, our toys, bar, structures, events, budget, etc.
are described there as well. Once you get there, save the url in “your favorites” so you don’t have
to type that long-ass url string every time you go there.
Explore the site… there are many secrets hidden within… links, mouse-over pics, etc. Plus, the
site changes and new members come on board all the time. Questions or comments about the
site should be directed to:
jimhillas_gc (at) yahoo (dot) com
***************************************************************
THE YAHOOGROUPS CHAT LIST
This is the place where we talk about our camp this year. We brainstorm ideas, get to know
each other, make decisions about the camp, tell dirty jokes, etc. If you wanna be a part of this,
join the group.
Click the link below to join the chat list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
If you prefer not to be on the list, you will receive this monthly newsletter to keep you up to date on
what’s going on, however, your voice will not be heard with regard to new ideas, changes,
decisions, etc.
************************************************************
WINE LABEL & NAME IDEAS
The wines donated to the bar will have new wine labels attached. We need ideas for new
names for the wines. They should be humorous, silly, disgusting, whatever. We need name
ideas and art for the labels.
Please submit ideas to the chat list, or email directly to Admiral Painjoy (art and/or photos
should be in .pjg format)
***********************************************************
WE NEED JUDGES FOR THE BEST BUTTZ CONTEST
On Thursday afternoon at Spanky’s we will be hosting the “Bad Boyz of Burningman Best Buttz
Contest”. We need judges to assess the asses and the performances. Buttz will be judged in
the following categories:
> Nicest Butt
> Reddest Butt
> Most Artistic Butt
> Best Ass Shankin’
Judges must be female and a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar. Bribes from contestants may be
accepted by the judges!
Interested in being a judge?
Email Admiral Painjoy at jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
**********************************************************
NEW MEMBERS
Well, the website opened just a few days ago and we now have 7 official members of Spanky’s
Wine Bar. They are:
> Admiral Painjoy
> Carbon Buildup
> Hooker Clown
> Mayor Joey
> Playmate
> Princess Jen
> Taximan
At this rate, by August, we should have 1258 campers!
Wanna join this debauchery? I know you do!
Click here to learn more
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
**********************************************************
That’s it for this issue… stay tuned for more fun and excitement in May!
apj
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral Painjoy at:
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
JUNE 2008 - Issue #3
Well, Summer is upon us…
Well, Summer is upon me at least.
No, seriously, I went to a stripclub and picked up
this dancer named Summer and she’s “upon” me
right now.
‘Git off me biatch… I’m tryin to type a newsletter!’
Hi Spankers, potential spankers, friends and government spys!
Admiral Painjoy here with your monthly injection…
Only 80 days til Burningman
(or 11 weeks or 1920 hours or 115,200 minutes or 6,912,000 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> For a good time, call Gennie… 867-5309
> The Skunkworks July 18th – 20th
> The Meat Fleet sails again
> Raccoon Costumes
> Early Playa Arrivals
> Shirt-Cocker’s Ball (new description/invites)
> The Ultimate Bman Packing List
> New Spankers
> The Budget
********************************************
BFG Update
Gennie I got your number
I’m gunna make you mine
Gennie don’t change your number
867-5309
Well… actually OUR Gennie number is 30
(30% that is… oh, and by Gennie, I mean generator)
Thanks to the generous donations of many of our “Spankers”
we are nearly 1/3 of the way to the amount of money we need to
rent the BFG (Big F*cking Generator) for the camp this year!
Keep those donations coming in campers… we need to be at
100% by mid-August.
********************************************
The Skunkworks (and the “Think Pink” party)
That is the name of Mayor Joeys ranch in the desert outside of
Fallon, Nevada. That is also where we will be holding our July
18th – 20th work weekend. We have a few things to build; a camp
shower, a bar, a camp sign and a bondage wall (that we will have to
also test, of course!). Plus we need to refurbish some of our existing
toys.
And we will also be testing Mayor Joey’s latest toy… “The Burn Your
Own Man” machine. (Read: wood-chipper meets flamethrower!!!)
If you have the means, please attend this fun work/party weekend!
We will also be having our “Think Pink” (pink themed) party on Sat.
night.
All the details are on the website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html
Send me an email if you wanna cum work and play:
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
*********************************************
The Carne Armada! Arrrrrrr!
Lead by Admiral Painjoy, the Carne Armada will set sail to attack on
Tuesday afternoon this year. And our theme for the attack will again
be ‘Swashbuckling Pirates of the High Playa Seas”… So bring a Pirate
costume if you wanna participate! All Spanker’s are encouraged to join
the Armada. Sign ups will begin in July.
But some of you may not know about the Carne Armada. It began three
“burns” ago in the PlayaQ camp… here’s the description we’ve used for
the past couple of years:
What is the Carne Armada?
In the spirit of the Burning Man gift economy, (and because we are clinically insane!) the “PlayaQ”
(the famous mulit-sensory, performance art,
gourmet BBQ camp) is taking its show on the road (or the high seas of the playa… as it were)
Just before sunset (on Tuesday) the obscene cuisine for which the Q has become famous, will
be delivered to a well deserving, pre-selected (and unsuspecting) Burning Man camp via our art
car armada. Our elite meat will be accompanied by wait-staff, concubines/bones as well as
music, booze, bar-staff and a crew of “Carne Armada Dancers and Performers”.
Our objective is to rapidly overwhelm our victim’s senses, appetites and imaginations… then
vanish, as quickly as we appeared, without a trace… leaving them dumbfounded and
overwhelmed. If done properly, in the aftermath, our victims should be left deliriously happy,
buzzed, disoriented and in a state of sensory over-stimulation.
The Carne Armada (or “the Meat Fleet”… if you will) shall consist of a vittles ship (food transport),
a few warships loaded with sexy seamen and sea women (wait staff, dancers,
concubines/bones), and a tender ship in tow (bar & bartender). This armada will be equipped to
keep our food hot, our booze frosty, our music loud and our 30 minute party raging. Joining each
Armada run will be an assortment of additional ships from other camps, all adding to our
“Gourmet Food-Themed Party”.
What Happens when the Carne Armada Attacks?
Imagine if you will…
You are one of the builders of The Temple. You are swinging a hammer in the afternoon sun
trying to get The Temple finished. It’s hot. You’re thirsty and hungry. In the distance you hear
music. It’s getting closer. You see art cars approaching from every direction. As they near, you
hear the music better… Wagner… Flight of the Valkeries.
There is a very strange looking character on the lead ship. He is dressed as some sort of Navy
Admiral… gone horribly wrong. The other cars are loaded with sexy women and men in a variety
of uniforms… Some resembling food service positions, other more provocative in nature.
The cars pull up from all sides, surrounding their intended victims. The music stops. A PA
system blares, “Temple builders… you are under attack! For all the hard work you do… this party’
s for you!!!” Wagner is replaced by a bad-ass, kickin’ house beat. Girls and guys with frosty
shots, beers and wine hop off the cars and dance up to you and your co-workers. Others
dressed as Arabian slave girls/guys ask you if you want a massage! (Um… sure!) You notice
others are pulling out large plates of food… the kind of food that your cliff-bar, ramen noodle
eating-self has been dreaming of each night.
Elegantly dressed (or undressed) “waiters and waitresses” start serving food off trays loaded
with artistically garnished gourmet cuisine. Your waitress describes each exotic morsel as you
dine. (Did she say Filet Mignon in Blue Cheese Alfredo sauce??? Wild pheasant and cognac
sausage? Panang Curry Sauce!?!?) A pair stunning and provocative dancers pour a bit of
Cabernet down your gullet as they grind on you… then dance away. Another server brings rack of
lamb, a bar tender brings a Daiquiri Freezer Pop (how the hell did they freeze alcohol out
here?!?). Another dancer, another culinary delight. (Have I died? Is this heaven?) More booze,
the playa is spinning...
The DJ is saying something about a camp called “The Q”. More food. More drink. More
dancing. (What time is it? What was I doing? Where am I?!?!) Then you feel the fingernails of
your masseuse gently brush your cheek as she scampers onto a departing ship… and poof…
they’re gone. It’s all gone. Holy Fuck!!!! What just happened??? Fading into the distance you
hear Copeland’s “Fanfare for the Common Man”…
That is a Carne Armada attack!
*****************************************************
Time to Dust Off the Old Raccoon Costume
Anyone got any raccoon costumes lying around?
(I seem to have left mine somewhere in the black hills of old South Dakota)
Anyone know a cheap place to buy, oh say, eight coon costumes?
Or at least raccoon masks? We need em to go
“cooning” on the playa this year. For a description of “cooning” go to the
Events page on the SWB website.
Contact Admiral Painjoy if you have any leads on Raccoon costumes:
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
**********************************************
Early Arrivals on the Playa
Many people are asking, already, about arriving early on the playa (before
Bman officially opens). Here’s the deal…
I will be allowed to have a few people come early to help me set up Spanky’s.
I will be on the playa late Friday night (8/22). I will need seven others
to help build the camp on Saturday and Sunday (8/23 & 8/24).
I will be creating the list of early arrivals in early August. Don’t ask to be
on the list unless you are willing to work.
Conversely, staying late on the playa is not only allowed, it is encouraged.
Stay until Tue or Wed (9/2 or 9/3) if you want to help clean up the playa.
***********************************************
Shirt-Cocker’s Ball
A better description (and invitations) for the Shirt-Cocker’s Ball…
(note: the invites below are not formatted)
BELOW ARE THE INVITES WE WILL
GIVE OUT TO ALL THE SHIRT-COCKERS WE SEE ON
THE PLAYA
Hey Mr. Shirt-Cocker!
You are cordially invited to attend Burningman’s first ever…
“Shirt-Cocker’s Ball”
For People who truly love balls
Wednesday at 5pm at Spanky’s Wine Bar
<Insert playa address>
This event will be nuts! Two hours of fun and light hearted humor. We
organized his ball as both a celebration and a condemnation of the elusive
playa-beast known as the “shirt-cocker”. Whether you stand tall or just
hang out with us, you may win one of many prizes awarded in different
categories (Best Shirt, Best Cock, Funniest Overall Appearance, etc). So join
us! Represent! Show your pride! Show us you’ve got balls! There will be a
myriad of lovely ladies in attendance as admirers (and mockers) of shirt-
cockers. If this event is the raging success we think it will be, we will host
one every year… and collectively, they will be know as “the shirt-cocker’s
balls”!
There will be music and dancing. Limited beer, wine and cocktail wieners
will be served (feel free to BYOB). And be sure to wear sunglasses (and
maybe a nice ribbon for the little guy) for plausible deniability as there will
be a group photo taken for the Burningman archives. Be a part of
Burningman history… or you’re just another dick!
BELOW ARE THE INVITES WE WILL
GIVE TO ANY FEMALES WE WANT TO ATTEND THE
SHIRT-COCKERS BALL
Would you like to attend (or possibly be a judge at) the most reee-dick-ulous
event on the playa?!?!?
You know those dorky guys who parade around the playa wearing a shirt...
and NOTHING else???
Well ladies, Wednesday is their day to shine (and your day to smile, smirk,
giggle and point)… at the first annual…
“Shirt-Cocker’s Ball”
Are you a mocker of shirt-cockers?
This event is both a celebration and a condemnation. And four of these shirt-
cockers will win a prize! Show your support for the men with no support.
The “shirt-cockers” will be proudly displaying the long (and not-so-long)
standing tradition of shirt-cocking and celebrating the (questionable) beauty
of the male sex organs... While at the same time, they stand the chance of
being mocked and ridiculed by females. All ladies in attendance are
welcomed to be judges for this most hysterical and reee-dick-ulous of events.
Have you ever wanted to openly ridicule these wagging willies of the playa?
Does the thought of pointing and laughing without fear of reprisal sound
devilishly fun? Or do you just enjoy having a crowd of captive male organs
hanging around like fresh (or possibly dried) fruit waiting to be plucked?
Wanna turn the tables on those ogling guys that gawk during Critical Tits?
Then be at Spanky's on Wednesday evening and have a ball (or several)! We
will provide score cards, rulers and magnifying glasses to the judges.
Contestants will be judged in the following categories: (and the guys, just by
being there, are entered into ALL categories!) Best Shirt, Best Cock,
Funniest overall appearance and Smallest Wiener on the Playa (extra points
awarded for shirt-cockin’ with sockin’) Limited beer, wine and cocktail
wieners will be served.
WEDNESDDAY 5pm at SPANKY’S WINE BAR <Insert Playa Address>
And please remember to follow our strict “no touching” policy… oh, wait,
we don’t have one!
*******************************************
Click on the link below for The Ultimate Burningman Packing List
http://www.jimhillas.org/packinglist.html
*******************************************
New Spankers this Month
Johnson, Kimmy (Oregon)
Owens, Leona (Cali)
Lippencott, Doug (Cali)
Black, Rachel (NV)
Buchanan, Sharon (FL)
Fletcher, Keith (location unknown ???)
Murray, Todd (location unknown ???)
Van Mastrigt, Jeroen (Amsterdam)
Harman, Paul (NJ)
Lecuona, Adriana (FL)
Wilkens, Brett (Cali)
Kuijper, Inge (Amsterdam)
Schopen, Rob (CA)
Haschenburger, Tom (CO)
Shelton, John (Cali)
Cervelli, Johnathon (Cali)
Welcome to the ASSylum, you lovable little freaks!
The camp is at nearly 50 spankers as of June 1st.
**************************************
SPANKY’S WINE BAR
Estimated 2008 BUDGET
ITEM PROJECTED
Generator $2200.00
Diesel Fuel $1200.00
Gasoline $ 100.00
Bar (structure) $ 200.00
Bar (supplies) $ 500.00
Shower $ 350.00
BASS $ 100.00
Lighting $ 500.00
Camp Sign $ 300.00
Spank-O-Matic repairs $ 50.00
OrgASSmatron repairs $ 50.00
Power Grid repairs $ 100.00
Ice for the bar $ 600.00
Event prizes $ 200.00
Raccoon masks/costumes $ 240.00
Office supplies $ 200.00
LNT & Cleaning supplies $ 50.00
Name Badges $ 160.00
PayPal fees $ 150.00
Misc. $ 500.00
TOTAL $7750.00
***************************************
OK, that’s it, I’ve typed enough for one day!
Stay tuned for next months infomercial when the
scores can really change!
apj
“It was already on fire when I got here”
Well, Summer is upon us…
Well, Summer is upon me at least.
No, seriously, I went to a stripclub and picked up
this dancer named Summer and she’s “upon” me
right now.
‘Git off me biatch… I’m tryin to type a newsletter!’
Hi Spankers, potential spankers, friends and government spys!
Admiral Painjoy here with your monthly injection…
Only 80 days til Burningman
(or 11 weeks or 1920 hours or 115,200 minutes or 6,912,000 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> For a good time, call Gennie… 867-5309
> The Skunkworks July 18th – 20th
> The Meat Fleet sails again
> Raccoon Costumes
> Early Playa Arrivals
> Shirt-Cocker’s Ball (new description/invites)
> The Ultimate Bman Packing List
> New Spankers
> The Budget
********************************************
BFG Update
Gennie I got your number
I’m gunna make you mine
Gennie don’t change your number
867-5309
Well… actually OUR Gennie number is 30
(30% that is… oh, and by Gennie, I mean generator)
Thanks to the generous donations of many of our “Spankers”
we are nearly 1/3 of the way to the amount of money we need to
rent the BFG (Big F*cking Generator) for the camp this year!
Keep those donations coming in campers… we need to be at
100% by mid-August.
********************************************
The Skunkworks (and the “Think Pink” party)
That is the name of Mayor Joeys ranch in the desert outside of
Fallon, Nevada. That is also where we will be holding our July
18th – 20th work weekend. We have a few things to build; a camp
shower, a bar, a camp sign and a bondage wall (that we will have to
also test, of course!). Plus we need to refurbish some of our existing
toys.
And we will also be testing Mayor Joey’s latest toy… “The Burn Your
Own Man” machine. (Read: wood-chipper meets flamethrower!!!)
If you have the means, please attend this fun work/party weekend!
We will also be having our “Think Pink” (pink themed) party on Sat.
night.
All the details are on the website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html
Send me an email if you wanna cum work and play:
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
*********************************************
The Carne Armada! Arrrrrrr!
Lead by Admiral Painjoy, the Carne Armada will set sail to attack on
Tuesday afternoon this year. And our theme for the attack will again
be ‘Swashbuckling Pirates of the High Playa Seas”… So bring a Pirate
costume if you wanna participate! All Spanker’s are encouraged to join
the Armada. Sign ups will begin in July.
But some of you may not know about the Carne Armada. It began three
“burns” ago in the PlayaQ camp… here’s the description we’ve used for
the past couple of years:
What is the Carne Armada?
In the spirit of the Burning Man gift economy, (and because we are clinically insane!) the “PlayaQ”
(the famous mulit-sensory, performance art,
gourmet BBQ camp) is taking its show on the road (or the high seas of the playa… as it were)
Just before sunset (on Tuesday) the obscene cuisine for which the Q has become famous, will
be delivered to a well deserving, pre-selected (and unsuspecting) Burning Man camp via our art
car armada. Our elite meat will be accompanied by wait-staff, concubines/bones as well as
music, booze, bar-staff and a crew of “Carne Armada Dancers and Performers”.
Our objective is to rapidly overwhelm our victim’s senses, appetites and imaginations… then
vanish, as quickly as we appeared, without a trace… leaving them dumbfounded and
overwhelmed. If done properly, in the aftermath, our victims should be left deliriously happy,
buzzed, disoriented and in a state of sensory over-stimulation.
The Carne Armada (or “the Meat Fleet”… if you will) shall consist of a vittles ship (food transport),
a few warships loaded with sexy seamen and sea women (wait staff, dancers,
concubines/bones), and a tender ship in tow (bar & bartender). This armada will be equipped to
keep our food hot, our booze frosty, our music loud and our 30 minute party raging. Joining each
Armada run will be an assortment of additional ships from other camps, all adding to our
“Gourmet Food-Themed Party”.
What Happens when the Carne Armada Attacks?
Imagine if you will…
You are one of the builders of The Temple. You are swinging a hammer in the afternoon sun
trying to get The Temple finished. It’s hot. You’re thirsty and hungry. In the distance you hear
music. It’s getting closer. You see art cars approaching from every direction. As they near, you
hear the music better… Wagner… Flight of the Valkeries.
There is a very strange looking character on the lead ship. He is dressed as some sort of Navy
Admiral… gone horribly wrong. The other cars are loaded with sexy women and men in a variety
of uniforms… Some resembling food service positions, other more provocative in nature.
The cars pull up from all sides, surrounding their intended victims. The music stops. A PA
system blares, “Temple builders… you are under attack! For all the hard work you do… this party’
s for you!!!” Wagner is replaced by a bad-ass, kickin’ house beat. Girls and guys with frosty
shots, beers and wine hop off the cars and dance up to you and your co-workers. Others
dressed as Arabian slave girls/guys ask you if you want a massage! (Um… sure!) You notice
others are pulling out large plates of food… the kind of food that your cliff-bar, ramen noodle
eating-self has been dreaming of each night.
Elegantly dressed (or undressed) “waiters and waitresses” start serving food off trays loaded
with artistically garnished gourmet cuisine. Your waitress describes each exotic morsel as you
dine. (Did she say Filet Mignon in Blue Cheese Alfredo sauce??? Wild pheasant and cognac
sausage? Panang Curry Sauce!?!?) A pair stunning and provocative dancers pour a bit of
Cabernet down your gullet as they grind on you… then dance away. Another server brings rack of
lamb, a bar tender brings a Daiquiri Freezer Pop (how the hell did they freeze alcohol out
here?!?). Another dancer, another culinary delight. (Have I died? Is this heaven?) More booze,
the playa is spinning...
The DJ is saying something about a camp called “The Q”. More food. More drink. More
dancing. (What time is it? What was I doing? Where am I?!?!) Then you feel the fingernails of
your masseuse gently brush your cheek as she scampers onto a departing ship… and poof…
they’re gone. It’s all gone. Holy Fuck!!!! What just happened??? Fading into the distance you
hear Copeland’s “Fanfare for the Common Man”…
That is a Carne Armada attack!
*****************************************************
Time to Dust Off the Old Raccoon Costume
Anyone got any raccoon costumes lying around?
(I seem to have left mine somewhere in the black hills of old South Dakota)
Anyone know a cheap place to buy, oh say, eight coon costumes?
Or at least raccoon masks? We need em to go
“cooning” on the playa this year. For a description of “cooning” go to the
Events page on the SWB website.
Contact Admiral Painjoy if you have any leads on Raccoon costumes:
jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com
**********************************************
Early Arrivals on the Playa
Many people are asking, already, about arriving early on the playa (before
Bman officially opens). Here’s the deal…
I will be allowed to have a few people come early to help me set up Spanky’s.
I will be on the playa late Friday night (8/22). I will need seven others
to help build the camp on Saturday and Sunday (8/23 & 8/24).
I will be creating the list of early arrivals in early August. Don’t ask to be
on the list unless you are willing to work.
Conversely, staying late on the playa is not only allowed, it is encouraged.
Stay until Tue or Wed (9/2 or 9/3) if you want to help clean up the playa.
***********************************************
Shirt-Cocker’s Ball
A better description (and invitations) for the Shirt-Cocker’s Ball…
(note: the invites below are not formatted)
BELOW ARE THE INVITES WE WILL
GIVE OUT TO ALL THE SHIRT-COCKERS WE SEE ON
THE PLAYA
Hey Mr. Shirt-Cocker!
You are cordially invited to attend Burningman’s first ever…
“Shirt-Cocker’s Ball”
For People who truly love balls
Wednesday at 5pm at Spanky’s Wine Bar
<Insert playa address>
This event will be nuts! Two hours of fun and light hearted humor. We
organized his ball as both a celebration and a condemnation of the elusive
playa-beast known as the “shirt-cocker”. Whether you stand tall or just
hang out with us, you may win one of many prizes awarded in different
categories (Best Shirt, Best Cock, Funniest Overall Appearance, etc). So join
us! Represent! Show your pride! Show us you’ve got balls! There will be a
myriad of lovely ladies in attendance as admirers (and mockers) of shirt-
cockers. If this event is the raging success we think it will be, we will host
one every year… and collectively, they will be know as “the shirt-cocker’s
balls”!
There will be music and dancing. Limited beer, wine and cocktail wieners
will be served (feel free to BYOB). And be sure to wear sunglasses (and
maybe a nice ribbon for the little guy) for plausible deniability as there will
be a group photo taken for the Burningman archives. Be a part of
Burningman history… or you’re just another dick!
BELOW ARE THE INVITES WE WILL
GIVE TO ANY FEMALES WE WANT TO ATTEND THE
SHIRT-COCKERS BALL
Would you like to attend (or possibly be a judge at) the most reee-dick-ulous
event on the playa?!?!?
You know those dorky guys who parade around the playa wearing a shirt...
and NOTHING else???
Well ladies, Wednesday is their day to shine (and your day to smile, smirk,
giggle and point)… at the first annual…
“Shirt-Cocker’s Ball”
Are you a mocker of shirt-cockers?
This event is both a celebration and a condemnation. And four of these shirt-
cockers will win a prize! Show your support for the men with no support.
The “shirt-cockers” will be proudly displaying the long (and not-so-long)
standing tradition of shirt-cocking and celebrating the (questionable) beauty
of the male sex organs... While at the same time, they stand the chance of
being mocked and ridiculed by females. All ladies in attendance are
welcomed to be judges for this most hysterical and reee-dick-ulous of events.
Have you ever wanted to openly ridicule these wagging willies of the playa?
Does the thought of pointing and laughing without fear of reprisal sound
devilishly fun? Or do you just enjoy having a crowd of captive male organs
hanging around like fresh (or possibly dried) fruit waiting to be plucked?
Wanna turn the tables on those ogling guys that gawk during Critical Tits?
Then be at Spanky's on Wednesday evening and have a ball (or several)! We
will provide score cards, rulers and magnifying glasses to the judges.
Contestants will be judged in the following categories: (and the guys, just by
being there, are entered into ALL categories!) Best Shirt, Best Cock,
Funniest overall appearance and Smallest Wiener on the Playa (extra points
awarded for shirt-cockin’ with sockin’) Limited beer, wine and cocktail
wieners will be served.
WEDNESDDAY 5pm at SPANKY’S WINE BAR <Insert Playa Address>
And please remember to follow our strict “no touching” policy… oh, wait,
we don’t have one!
*******************************************
Click on the link below for The Ultimate Burningman Packing List
http://www.jimhillas.org/packinglist.html
*******************************************
New Spankers this Month
Johnson, Kimmy (Oregon)
Owens, Leona (Cali)
Lippencott, Doug (Cali)
Black, Rachel (NV)
Buchanan, Sharon (FL)
Fletcher, Keith (location unknown ???)
Murray, Todd (location unknown ???)
Van Mastrigt, Jeroen (Amsterdam)
Harman, Paul (NJ)
Lecuona, Adriana (FL)
Wilkens, Brett (Cali)
Kuijper, Inge (Amsterdam)
Schopen, Rob (CA)
Haschenburger, Tom (CO)
Shelton, John (Cali)
Cervelli, Johnathon (Cali)
Welcome to the ASSylum, you lovable little freaks!
The camp is at nearly 50 spankers as of June 1st.
**************************************
SPANKY’S WINE BAR
Estimated 2008 BUDGET
ITEM PROJECTED
Generator $2200.00
Diesel Fuel $1200.00
Gasoline $ 100.00
Bar (structure) $ 200.00
Bar (supplies) $ 500.00
Shower $ 350.00
BASS $ 100.00
Lighting $ 500.00
Camp Sign $ 300.00
Spank-O-Matic repairs $ 50.00
OrgASSmatron repairs $ 50.00
Power Grid repairs $ 100.00
Ice for the bar $ 600.00
Event prizes $ 200.00
Raccoon masks/costumes $ 240.00
Office supplies $ 200.00
LNT & Cleaning supplies $ 50.00
Name Badges $ 160.00
PayPal fees $ 150.00
Misc. $ 500.00
TOTAL $7750.00
***************************************
OK, that’s it, I’ve typed enough for one day!
Stay tuned for next months infomercial when the
scores can really change!
apj
“It was already on fire when I got here”
July 2008 - Issue #4
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
For past issues, click here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html
You are receiving this email because you either
signed up as a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar,
OR
You make the mistake of giving your email
address to the notorious Admiral Painjoy
and he is trying to shanghai you into indentured
servitude! (or maybe he just wants to keep you
abreast of the goings-on of his camp)
<hehehe… he said breast>
Spanky’s Website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
Join the Yahoo Chatgroup:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
JULY 2008
Only 53 days til Burningman
(or 7 weeks or 1272 hours or 76,320 minutes or 4,579,200 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> Sign up time! (and the unknown placement of swb)
> Skunkworks (Top Secret – Your Eyes Only)
> Half a Gennie
> SWB seeks High Exalted Raccoon Poobah
> Camp/Bar lighting, couches, carpet, cushy things
> RFP - Shirtcocker and Best Butt T-shirt designs
> Additions to The Ultimate Bman Packing List
> New Spankers
> Name Badges???
> Spanky’s Sign – thanks Joel! (plus shameless plug for Coolight)
********************************************
SIGN UP TIME
If you’ve been hedging about signing up at Spanky’s…
nowz da time!
Go to the website after you read this and commit to the fun.
Spanky’s is going to be the bestest, most funericic camp on
the Esplanade (if we get placed there… we won’t know for
sure until August 1st. That’s when the Bman placement team
makes it’s announcements regarding who gets placed where.)
I asked for placement on the Esplanade at 4:30 or 7:30.
BTW… we are now listed on the Bman site:
http://www.burningman.com/themecamps/08_camp_vill_s.html
********************************************
SKUNKWORKS (work/party weekend)
The weekend of July 18-20 is our weekend to create
our toys and to party like pink desert rats! The event
takes place at Mayor Joeys ranch in Fallon, Nevada.
If you can come…
I need a headcount. Here’s who I have so far:
Jim Hillas
Mayor Joey & Laura
Nancy Shafer
Doug Lippencott
Barry Goyette
Diane Goyette
Rachel Black
Don Syrek
Frank Walker?
Kathy Walker?
Rocky Mullin & Leah?
Tom Eskridge?
Things we will be working on:
- (repairing?)Building the bar
- Repairing the BASS
- Building the camp shower
- Building (and testing) the bondage wall
- Testing the “burn your own man” machine
- Refurbishing the Spank-o-matic and Orgasmatron
- Other stuff
“Paint the town and trip the light fantastic!”
Also, anyone who is driving to Skunkworks… Bring paint!
If you have any cans of paint lying around in your garage,
attic, shed, etc., bring em. Doesn’t matter what color or
sheen the paint is, we can use it. And if you have any lighting
you can lend/donate to the camp, bring that too. We are
looking for spotlights, dj lights/effects, rope-lite and strobe lights.
Ooooh, and sofas, barstools and cushy things too! (see other
info below)
All of the camping, directions and work/party info you need can be
reviewed at:
http://www.jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html
If there’s anything I didn’t cover, or if you have any other
questions… email me.
*******************************************
HALF a GENNIE
We are past the half way point on gennie $$$!
Those of you who have made donations… Big-Thanks!!!!
Extra spankings for you ;)
I put down the deposit on our BFG (big f**king generator) today!
I will be a 25,000 watt diesel XQ (extra quiet), which should serve
all of our needs (if we don’t all crank our AC units at once)
And… it will be delivered to the playa by the rental company!
Also, we will not need to haul diesel fuel out to the playa either.
I have made arrangements for diesel delivery every other day on
the playa. No more need for hauling 55 gallon drums, transfer pumps,
fuel containment systems, etc.
If you haven’t made a donation to the BFG fund… every dollar helps!
Even if you can only afford $20.00… it helps.
You can donate via PayPal on this page:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html
Also… Big Props to Playmate and Princess. They are bringing out
a solar power system to help supplement our wattage needs…
GO GREEN!
********************************************
SWB SEEKS HIGH EXALTED RACCOOM POOBAH
I still haven’t had much luck locating inexpensive raccoon costumes
or masks. Would somebody like to volunteer to take this off my
plate? We need around 8 masks (or costumes… or a mix of both)
for our “Cooning” raids. See this page for a description:
http://www.jimhillas.org/events.html
*********************************************
CAMP/BAR LIGHTING, COUCHES, CARPET, CUSHY THINGS
Part of keeping the camp dues low this year was the plan of trying
to re-use and recycle our existing stuff… and to procure donations.
We want our bar to be an inviting (and well lit) place for our
guests to hang out. If you have an old sofa you can bring to the
playa (or to the Skunkworks), please let me know. Beanbag chairs,
inflatables, bar stools, etc are also needed.
This also goes for any type of lighting (spotlights, work lights,
DJ lighting, strobe lights, etc).
This also also goes for carpeting for our bar area.
Check at your local garage sales too!
*****************************************
RFP – SHIRCOCKER & BEST BUTT T-SHIRT DESIGNS
OK you creative types. We are going to give out T-Shirts to
the winners of these two events. Go to this page for the details
of the events:
http://www.jimhillas.org/events.html
I Have the shirts, computer program and transfers to make the
shirts… but I want to give you guyz the opportunity to design
the shirts. Email me your ideas!
And… we still need names and label designs for our wine bottles.
*****************************************
ADDITIONS TO THE ULTIMATE BMAN PACKING LIST
> Nose Douche! (aka Nasal Rinse) see website: http://www.walgreens.
com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100095&navAction=jump&navCount=0&id=prod2598807
> One Little Black Dress (for the LBD parade)
> Fetish or Formal Attire for Bartending/Spanking
> Extention cords and splitters if you want to plug anything
into the power grid (you probably wont be more than 100 ft.
from an outlet)
***************************************
NEW SPANKERS
Welcome aboard to the following suckers…. errr…
I mean Spankers.
Syrek, Valerie (Cali)
Dietrich, John (Ariz)
Silverman, Jeri (NY)
Nethercott, Melissa (Vegas)
Crist, Vicki (Vegas)
Flannagan, Moira (New Orleans)
Fitzpatrick, Nicole (Cali)
Birdsong, John (New Orleans)
Fielder, Todd (Boston)
Imbrescia, Jan (Cali)
***************************************
NAME BADGES
Anyone interested in creating fun name badges for the
members of SWB? They sure are great to have!
I have money in the budget for the materials and
I can put you in touch with somebody who has done
it before. They can help you with the design, layout,
production method, etc. All you need is a computer
and a printer.
***************************************
SPANKY’S CAMP SIGN!!!
Thanks to the efforts of Taximan and Playmate
and Elise and Princess we now have a great camp
sign!
The letters are backlit and everything! Kickass!
And for those of you who don’t know… our friend,
fellow burner and campmate, Joel Wylan (taximan)
is a purveyor of ELwire and ELwire products.
He owns “Coolight”. Check out the website:
http://www.coolight.com/Default.asp
Surf the site… buy some stuff!
************************************
OK, that’s all for this issue. Remember, if you wait
til tomorrow to sign up, you’ll be one day older when
you do!
apj
“It was already on fire when I got here”
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral
Painjoy at: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
For past issues, click here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html
You are receiving this email because you either
signed up as a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar,
OR
You make the mistake of giving your email
address to the notorious Admiral Painjoy
and he is trying to shanghai you into indentured
servitude! (or maybe he just wants to keep you
abreast of the goings-on of his camp)
<hehehe… he said breast>
Spanky’s Website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
Join the Yahoo Chatgroup:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
JULY 2008
Only 53 days til Burningman
(or 7 weeks or 1272 hours or 76,320 minutes or 4,579,200 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> Sign up time! (and the unknown placement of swb)
> Skunkworks (Top Secret – Your Eyes Only)
> Half a Gennie
> SWB seeks High Exalted Raccoon Poobah
> Camp/Bar lighting, couches, carpet, cushy things
> RFP - Shirtcocker and Best Butt T-shirt designs
> Additions to The Ultimate Bman Packing List
> New Spankers
> Name Badges???
> Spanky’s Sign – thanks Joel! (plus shameless plug for Coolight)
********************************************
SIGN UP TIME
If you’ve been hedging about signing up at Spanky’s…
nowz da time!
Go to the website after you read this and commit to the fun.
Spanky’s is going to be the bestest, most funericic camp on
the Esplanade (if we get placed there… we won’t know for
sure until August 1st. That’s when the Bman placement team
makes it’s announcements regarding who gets placed where.)
I asked for placement on the Esplanade at 4:30 or 7:30.
BTW… we are now listed on the Bman site:
http://www.burningman.com/themecamps/08_camp_vill_s.html
********************************************
SKUNKWORKS (work/party weekend)
The weekend of July 18-20 is our weekend to create
our toys and to party like pink desert rats! The event
takes place at Mayor Joeys ranch in Fallon, Nevada.
If you can come…
I need a headcount. Here’s who I have so far:
Jim Hillas
Mayor Joey & Laura
Nancy Shafer
Doug Lippencott
Barry Goyette
Diane Goyette
Rachel Black
Don Syrek
Frank Walker?
Kathy Walker?
Rocky Mullin & Leah?
Tom Eskridge?
Things we will be working on:
- (repairing?)Building the bar
- Repairing the BASS
- Building the camp shower
- Building (and testing) the bondage wall
- Testing the “burn your own man” machine
- Refurbishing the Spank-o-matic and Orgasmatron
- Other stuff
“Paint the town and trip the light fantastic!”
Also, anyone who is driving to Skunkworks… Bring paint!
If you have any cans of paint lying around in your garage,
attic, shed, etc., bring em. Doesn’t matter what color or
sheen the paint is, we can use it. And if you have any lighting
you can lend/donate to the camp, bring that too. We are
looking for spotlights, dj lights/effects, rope-lite and strobe lights.
Ooooh, and sofas, barstools and cushy things too! (see other
info below)
All of the camping, directions and work/party info you need can be
reviewed at:
http://www.jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html
If there’s anything I didn’t cover, or if you have any other
questions… email me.
*******************************************
HALF a GENNIE
We are past the half way point on gennie $$$!
Those of you who have made donations… Big-Thanks!!!!
Extra spankings for you ;)
I put down the deposit on our BFG (big f**king generator) today!
I will be a 25,000 watt diesel XQ (extra quiet), which should serve
all of our needs (if we don’t all crank our AC units at once)
And… it will be delivered to the playa by the rental company!
Also, we will not need to haul diesel fuel out to the playa either.
I have made arrangements for diesel delivery every other day on
the playa. No more need for hauling 55 gallon drums, transfer pumps,
fuel containment systems, etc.
If you haven’t made a donation to the BFG fund… every dollar helps!
Even if you can only afford $20.00… it helps.
You can donate via PayPal on this page:
http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html
Also… Big Props to Playmate and Princess. They are bringing out
a solar power system to help supplement our wattage needs…
GO GREEN!
********************************************
SWB SEEKS HIGH EXALTED RACCOOM POOBAH
I still haven’t had much luck locating inexpensive raccoon costumes
or masks. Would somebody like to volunteer to take this off my
plate? We need around 8 masks (or costumes… or a mix of both)
for our “Cooning” raids. See this page for a description:
http://www.jimhillas.org/events.html
*********************************************
CAMP/BAR LIGHTING, COUCHES, CARPET, CUSHY THINGS
Part of keeping the camp dues low this year was the plan of trying
to re-use and recycle our existing stuff… and to procure donations.
We want our bar to be an inviting (and well lit) place for our
guests to hang out. If you have an old sofa you can bring to the
playa (or to the Skunkworks), please let me know. Beanbag chairs,
inflatables, bar stools, etc are also needed.
This also goes for any type of lighting (spotlights, work lights,
DJ lighting, strobe lights, etc).
This also also goes for carpeting for our bar area.
Check at your local garage sales too!
*****************************************
RFP – SHIRCOCKER & BEST BUTT T-SHIRT DESIGNS
OK you creative types. We are going to give out T-Shirts to
the winners of these two events. Go to this page for the details
of the events:
http://www.jimhillas.org/events.html
I Have the shirts, computer program and transfers to make the
shirts… but I want to give you guyz the opportunity to design
the shirts. Email me your ideas!
And… we still need names and label designs for our wine bottles.
*****************************************
ADDITIONS TO THE ULTIMATE BMAN PACKING LIST
> Nose Douche! (aka Nasal Rinse) see website: http://www.walgreens.
com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100095&navAction=jump&navCount=0&id=prod2598807
> One Little Black Dress (for the LBD parade)
> Fetish or Formal Attire for Bartending/Spanking
> Extention cords and splitters if you want to plug anything
into the power grid (you probably wont be more than 100 ft.
from an outlet)
***************************************
NEW SPANKERS
Welcome aboard to the following suckers…. errr…
I mean Spankers.
Syrek, Valerie (Cali)
Dietrich, John (Ariz)
Silverman, Jeri (NY)
Nethercott, Melissa (Vegas)
Crist, Vicki (Vegas)
Flannagan, Moira (New Orleans)
Fitzpatrick, Nicole (Cali)
Birdsong, John (New Orleans)
Fielder, Todd (Boston)
Imbrescia, Jan (Cali)
***************************************
NAME BADGES
Anyone interested in creating fun name badges for the
members of SWB? They sure are great to have!
I have money in the budget for the materials and
I can put you in touch with somebody who has done
it before. They can help you with the design, layout,
production method, etc. All you need is a computer
and a printer.
***************************************
SPANKY’S CAMP SIGN!!!
Thanks to the efforts of Taximan and Playmate
and Elise and Princess we now have a great camp
sign!
The letters are backlit and everything! Kickass!
And for those of you who don’t know… our friend,
fellow burner and campmate, Joel Wylan (taximan)
is a purveyor of ELwire and ELwire products.
He owns “Coolight”. Check out the website:
http://www.coolight.com/Default.asp
Surf the site… buy some stuff!
************************************
OK, that’s all for this issue. Remember, if you wait
til tomorrow to sign up, you’ll be one day older when
you do!
apj
“It was already on fire when I got here”
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral
Painjoy at: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
JULY 2008 - Issue #5
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
“This will all end in tears”
For past issues, click here: (please read the past
issues if you just joined spanky’s… there will be
a test… bring a #2 pencil!)
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html
You are receiving this email because you either
signed up as a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar,
OR
You are keeping tabs on us… like some kind of
weird and evil Burning Man spy!
Spanky’s Website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
Join the Yahoo Chatgroup:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
JULY 2008 part 2… “Son of July”
Only 30 days til Burning Man
(or 4 weeks or 720 hours or 43,200 minutes or 2,592,000 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> Last chance for cheap sign-ups!
> Skunkworks progress report
> Camp Events at 5:00pm
> Tent Stakes from Tarpman (a rare medium, well done!)
> “I can only geeve ya 64% power Cap’n” (BFG update)
> eLeM is our High Exalted Raccoon Poobah
> Camp/Bar lighting, couches, carpet, cushy things
> My Baby Takes the Morning Train
> Additions to The Ultimate Bman Packing List
> Can I camp next to my best friend ‘Playa-kissmonster-gurl’?
> Carne Armada Sign-ups
> New Spankers
> Name Badges
> iPods & CDs
> Submit your beer/wine/appetizer info… now bitch!
> Skunkworks after-party.
********************************************
LAST CHANCE FOR CHEAP SIGN-UPS
We still haven’t achieved our general camp budget, so…
Camp dues go up to $100.00 on August 1st for anyone who
hasn’t signed up yet.
We have room in Spanky’s for up to 40 more campers.
If we don’t meet our budget goals, one of three things happens…
1 – We charge each camper a little more money
OR
2 – We trim our expenses
OR
3 – We spend all the money on whiskey and hookers
********************************************
SKUNKWORKS PROGRESS REPORT
(and the next skunkworks weekend)
I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news…
The bad news is… Out of the dozen (or so) people that
said they could meet us at Joey’s, only 4 showed up.
<insert evil snarl here>
The good news is… The four Spankers that did show up
worked their tails off and got some fantastic work done!
(despite the 95 degree heat!) And Mayor Joey had a couple
of local friends that helped out too.
Here’s the status on the items we wanted to complete:
The Bar: (95% complete)
We re-built the largest section of the bar. Now it’s longer
and deeper (like me!). The new bar is still “U” shaped, but the front
section is now 12’ long and 3’ deep (allowing for more
dancers on the bartop). The bar is now painted “playa
color” and the random graffiti has begun. We still need to
create a new enclosure in the bar for the sound system controls.
The BASS: (100% complete)
We checked all the shade panels and hardware. Sadly, the
BASS was not stored properly by the last people who used it.
The shade panels are still usable, but probably only have one
or two years of life left in them. Most of the hardware was in
good shape. We purchased some steel tubing and modified it
to create some new A-frame supports to replace the broken ones.
The Camp Shower: (50% complete)
We built the wood frame and post system for the shower. We
still need to adjust the framing a bit, purchase and install the
decking and walls, and install the plumbing. (We gave up on
the idea of building a jaccuzzi that runs of the shower’s grey
water… so instead, we will pump the drain water to a drinking
fountain to mess with the newbies…<insert evil laugh here>)
(yes… I’m kidding)
The Bondage Wall: (90% complete)
Both of the walls for the double-sided bondage wall were framed.
We then covered them with padding and fake, imitation naugha-hide
(thus preserving the lives of several innocent naughas!)
We still need to trim the walls, install the hardware and base support
and paint the exposed wood. (We also need to spank some people real
bad… or spank some real bad people!)
The Burn-Your-Own-Man Machine: (20% complete)
Joey built some containment screens for the BYOM.
We still need somebody to tow the “wood chipper” thingy from
Sacramento to Fallon.
The Spank-O-Matic: (30% complete)
The machine was inspected (at our local Spank-O-Matic dealership)
and new parts were purchased.
Joey will work on the SOM over the next few weeks.
It was decided that the SOM should be set on a raised platform of
some sort this year for better audience viewing. We will mount it
on a stationary flat-bed trailer. APJ will bring the trailer. We need
to decorate it. (We thought of mounting it to a moving trailer, but
all the test subject died a horrible death with exposed, red asses!)
The Orgasmatron: (90% complete)
We reinforced the box and the staircase. We installed a new top on
the box, padded it, covered the padding with pretty fabric and then
encased it with clear plastic for easy cleaning. We painted the box
and the staircase. We also began the lettering on the box. Doug L.
purchased a 10’x20’ shade structure which he is going to lend the camp
as a privacy structure for the Orgasmatron. Doug is also going to
decorate the structure and provide lighting for it. We still need to
upholster the shin pads and mount them atop the box. And we need
to re-mount the seat on the vibratron table. (If I say ‘box’ or ‘mount’
one more time, I’m gunna have to cover my computer with clear
plastic!)
The SWB Camp Sign: (70% complete)
We received and inspected the sign lettering that Joel shipped to
Fallon… it looks way kewl!!! We cut the plywood backing for the
letters and primed it. We built the steel post frame to elevate
and secure the sign. We also purchased earth-auger stakes and
ratchet straps to secure the structure. We still need to paint the sign
silver and mount/test the letters. We also want to mount a couple of
lights atop the sign posts that will point down/back on the bondage wall
and the SOM. (Oops, I said ‘mount again… Oooh, ahhh ug! Zzzzzzz…)
The Teeter Totter of Death: (95% complete)
Mayor Joey is trying to swing transportation for the TToD. If he can
afford it, we will bring this toy to the playa and place it across the
Esplanade from camp (if we get esplanade). This toy was not previously
listed, but can now be viewed on the website on the “Toys” page. It
teeters and totters you to a height of nearly 20 feet as it spins!
We replaced the broken seat. It still needs to be painted.
(Death not 100% guaranteed!)
We are going to do another Skunkworks weekend in August.
We need to decide between the weekend of August 9th or August 16th.
We will also do final prep and loading of the trailers at Skunkworks
on Saturday Aug 23rd.
APJ will send an email soon to determine who can make it when.
*******************************************
CAMP EVENTS at 5pm
All of our camp events have been listed on the Bman website
and have been accepted for entry in the “What, Where, When”
guide that is given out upon entry to the event. The WWW guide
only allows for 140 characters in the description entries,
so they were edited to fit.
And I made some small adjustments to the event times. Now all
of our events begin at 5pm. This was done for simplicity sake.
(Crap! Now breakfast is at 5pm… I may have to rethink this!)
Our events are:
Sun 5pm-? – The Erection Party - for those who build SWB (not in WWW)
Tues 5pm-7pm – The Carne Armada
Wed 5pm-6pm – The Bad Boyz of Bman Best Buttz Contest
Thurs 5pm-6pm – The Shirt-Cocker’s Ball
Thurs 5pm-10pm – The Velvet Vixen Party
Fri 5pm-6:30pm – The LBD Parade
Mon 5pm-? – The Skunkworks After-Party (not in WWW)
Event descriptions on the Bman website are here:
http://playacal.burningman.com/day.php?date=20080826
********************************************
REBAR STAKES FROM TARPMAN
Great rebar stakes for tents, shade structures, etc. for $2.99 ea. (plus shipping)
I bought 8 stakes from this guy. They are perfect for Bman.
They are 18” long rebar (1/2” diameter) with a steel ring welded near the top.
They are also pointed on the other end for easier ‘playa penetration’ (that sounded
dirty!)
His name is Wayne (aka Tarpman) and he sells them on Ebay:
http://cgi.ebay.com/18-X1-2-REBAR-HEAVY-DUTY-STEEL-STAKE-TENT-
CANOPY_W0QQitemZ110273114267QQihZ001QQcategoryZ36120QQssPageNameZW
DVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
If the link is no longer valid, just search “rebar stakes” on Ebay.
*********************************************
BFG UPDATE
Thanks to the donations of many generous Spankers, we
are 64% of the way to being able to pay for our Big F*ckin
Generator and fuel (unless fuel prices go up, but Dubya
assures me that they wont!)… but we ain’t there yet.
We can only get there by enlisting more Spankers or by
donations from existing Spankers. If you have friends that
you think are SWB material, get them in touch with your Admiral.
We have $2000.00 in donations
We need $3125.00 for the gennie and the fuel
Without additional campers or donations, this could mean around
$18.00 more per person… but this number is decreasing every
week. Help us decrease it if you can… with some moolah or some
new, sexy spankers! (or both!)
********************************************
eLeM is our HIGH EXALTED RACCOON POOBAH
All hail Lisa Marie!!! She is our new HEXRAPOO! We have a dozen
el-cheapo raccoon masks for our Cooning expeditions. You should
also bring black pants and black shirts for the endevours… or even
furry coats/pants if’n ya got em. eLeM will be searching for more
masks and will help coordinate the attacks. Mmmmmm… beer!
Cooning description here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/events.html
*********************************************
CAMP/BAR LIGHTING, COUCHES, CARPET, CUSHY THINGS
Part of keeping the camp dues low this year was the plan of trying
to re-use and recycle our existing stuff… and to procure donations.
We want our bar to be an inviting (and well lit) place for our
guests to hang out. If you have an old sofa you can bring to the
playa (or to the Skunkworks), please let me know. Beanbag chairs,
inflatables, bar stools, etc are also needed.
This also goes for any type of lighting (spotlights, work lights,
DJ lighting, strobe lights, etc).
This also, also goes for carpeting for our bar area.
Check at your local garage sales too!
*****************************************
MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN
We will vote soon to determine if SWB is going to continue this
evil (and hilarious) tradition.
Here’s the story…
In 2006, there was a camp next to us. At 8:00am they blasted the
horrible song “My Baby Takes the Morning Train” by Sheen Easton.
The instant the song started, everyone in their camp got out of their tents
and RVs and began dancing wildly. They danced around their camp.
They danced on top of their RVs. It was loud. It was annoying. But
it was also kinda funny. And right after the song ended, they all went
back to sleep (or whatever)
Then on Tues morning at 8:00 they did the same thing… and Wed…
and Thurs…
By Friday, many from our camp joined them in this wonderful
insanity.
Last year, (2007) we continued the tradition.
Here’s the catch. Our neighbors will be very annoyed by this at first
if we do it. But there’s safety in numbers. So if we decide to do this…
we all have to commit to it. I mean really commit! If we all
participate, it will it have the humorous effect that is intended.
The vote will take place on the SWB yahoo chat list, so if you want
your vote to count… get on the list (link at the top of this email)
*****************************************
ADDITIONS TO THE ULTIMATE BMAN PACKING LIST
> Your donation of 3 cases of beer or 1 case of wine
> Your donation of 1 appetizer to share with your campmates
> Cooning clothes… if yer gunna Coon! (see above)
For the full list, click here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/packinglist.html
***************************************
CAMPER PLACEMENT IN SWB
(aka – “Can I camp right next to my friend Playa-kissymonster-gurl”?)
I have had a few people ask about their personal RV (or tent) placement in
camp. Everyone wants to camp right next to their friends. I can’t guarantee
that. The best way to make that happen is to arrive on the playa at the same
time they do. But there’s more… sometimes we need to place people (especially
RVs) in strategic locations based on many factors.
Here is an exerpt from one of my responses regarding this matter.
It explains the Admiral’s philosophy on the matter:
Not only are there logistical reasons for strategic RV & tent placement, (such as; arrival
times, wind breaks, sound dampeners, defining camp boundaries, ease of servicing the
RV, etc.) there are also social aspects to consider.
(And don't worry... this may sound rigid at first but it gets more flexible at the end… sadly,
just like me!)
As a long time burner and seven year veteran of leading camps and villages I have
noticed a few sociological patterns. (none of these will be great revelations... LOL)
In general:
1- people are lazy
2- people are shy
3- people are apt to form cliques
4- the British monarchy breeds retards
Part of my job as camp leader is to break people free of these sociological quirks. I
make efforts to have everyone socialize. “We're gunna have so much fucking fun we're
gunna be whistling zipity-do-da out of our assholes!” (OK... I'm stealing Chevy Chase's
lines)
Here's how it usually goes down without any external influence:
When friends camp right next to each other, they tend to arrange their tents/RVs in a circle
or U shape or some other configuration that appears (to outsiders) to be exclusive. They
don't do this on purpose... it's just human nature to want to create a nice semi-private
space to share with your closest friends. It's also human nature to want to be near to
your friends... those with whom you are comfortable... those with whom you have a history.
But... when this happens, the following also tends to happen too...
People wake up in the morning and step out of their tent/rv into their comfortable little
circle of friends. They have coffee, breakfast, whatever..., they bullshit with their friends,
plan the day, nap, go on an excursion with those same friends, come back to their circle,
tell stories, jokes, have cocktails and so on. Next thing ya know... days have gone by and
these people have hardly come out of their little circle of friends.
In the PlayaQ two years ago, Alex (camp leader) had everyone camp according to the
region of the country in which they lived. And while that was very accommodating and
cozy, it also created 4 cliques. The playaQ had a "center camp" area, but hardly ever got
used. Instead, 4 "mini-center-camps" emerged and there was little intermingling of the
regions. There were many people in the playaQ that camped in the same camp all week
and never really met.
By discouraging these camping cliques, it forces people to leave the safety of their own
tent/rv area and wander over to Spanky's center camp to meet their friends (and the rest
of the Spankers) at the bar/lounge area under the Big Ass Shade Structure (which is the
size of a small house).
This simple act works like a social catalyst. People are now placed in a situation where
they more easily overcome their shyness and/or laziness. They meet people, they begin
to form new friendships, they feel like they are part of something bigger.... and they are.
And... the best part... all that fun bullshitting, planning, the stories, the jokes, drinks, food,
etc. are shared. (am I sounding like a communist yet?) And don't forget the MPR show. I
love a big audience!
Also, whenever our Spanky's center camp is "hopping" with lotsa people, fun
conversation, laughter, good music, drinking, eating, etc.... it attracts "customers" to the
bar. This brings more new potential friends into the mix. More fun, more spankings,
more sexy, more party, more bman!
And... when these little cliques form (or camping families, as I call them) They tend to
slowly grow over the years. Then they start breeding amongst themselves. And after
twenty or forty years... I'm the leader of a village full of inbred mongoloids. (bet you were
wondering how I was gunna tie the British monarchy into this, huh?)
OK, now here comes the flexible part... With all that other stuff being said, I do
understand the need to spend time with your closest friends... the need to have intimate
or private time with them. So I will do my best to keep you and your friends close to one
another. I will have a camp map drawn up shortly after we get our placement on Aug.
1st. At that time, we can work out details and bat around RV & tent placement ideas.
(In addition to spitting up friends, we will also be splitting up couples this year. If you have
a hot wife or girlfriend, we will be taking her away from you for others to enjoy! Sorry, it’s
not
my fault. I don’t make the rules… Oh wait, yes I do) <insert more evil laughter>
****************************************
CARNE ARMADA SIGN-UPS
Coming to the website on August 1st.
****************************************
NEW SPANKERS
They come from all corners of the country… and even from across the pond
just to join in the mayhem!
Self, Mark (England)
Peckham, Oliver (England)
Matt (Walker's friend – Cali)
Shannon (Walker's friend – Cali)
Hayes, Tyler (New Orleans)
McCloud, Chris (?)
Favale, David (NY)
May, Richard (Cali)
Fate, Liz (Philly)
Welcome to Spanky’s you lovable freaks!!!
***************************************
NAME BADGES
Phil A. (of Villians & Virgins fame) has graciously volunteered
his intern to create SWB camp namebadges!!! Thanks Phil
(and intern). The badges will be the clip-on type
(where the actual badge slips into a clear plastic holder with a clip).
These can easily be clipped to your camelback, your clothes or
your nipple or any small patch of hair (in the event of nudity).
They identify you (in case you forget). They identify your
stuff (in case you leave your stuff somewhere). They tell others
where to bring you in case you pass out! (kinda like a human
luggage tag!)
Here’s what you all need to do. Email Phil the following info:
1- The name you want on your namebadge
2- A title or rank or quote you want to appear below your name
3- A photo
If you neglect to send any of this info, we are not responsible for
what appears on your namebadge! The cut-off date for badge
info is Aug 11th. After that, if we haven’t received your info
we will make your namebadge with whatever self-deprecating
crap we think is funny!
Email your info to Phil at:
phil@vitruvianventures.com
*************************************
iPODs and CDs
Our bar will have iPod capability. If you want to play some
music when the system if free, find the Admiral and he will
show you how to use it. If you want to play CDs, you must
also bring a small ‘disposable’ CD player (cheap walkman style).
The playa eats CD players. They only last 1-3 days in the dust…
maybe a bit longer if kept in a plastic bag.
Please don’t use the sound system without permission and
instruction. It’s easy to blow the speakers if you don’t know
what you’re doing. The speakers cost a lot of money!
Note: APJ reserves the right to veto music if it’s f*ckin up the
camp vibe. Arguments regarding music will be dealt with on
the bondage wall.
***************************************
SUBMIT YOUR BEER/WINE/APPY INFO
Go to the “Spankers” page on the website.
http://www.jimhillas.org/thespankers.html
Everyone is listed alphabetically according to their playa (or first) names.
If I haven’t gotten your beer/wine/appy info, there are question marks
next to your name. If that is the case… you are bad! Very, very bad!!!
Email me your beer/wine and appetizer info biatch!
We need a few “butt” related appys to serve during the Best
Buttz contest on Thursday afternoon… Butt steak tidbits…
Pork buns… Rump roast sandwiches… you get the idea.
***************************************
SKUNKWORKS AFTER PARTY (and prep pad)
On Sunday, Aug 31st, we begin to break-down camp on the playa.
On Monday, Sept 1st, we load up the trailers and haul our toys back
to the Skunkworks (Mayor Joey’s ranch in Fallon, NV). Where we
clean and store the toys until next year. This only takes a couple of
hours with a good number of people.
The Skunkworks is only two exits east of the Bman exit on I-80,
then 20 minutes south. Skunkworks is the perfect prep/decomp
place for before/after Bman. The town of Fallon has everything
you need to prep for the playa (or decompress)… good supermarket,
Walmart, restaurants, hotels (with pool), lumberyard, casinos, carwash
and a Lowe’s in Fernley… on the way to the playa from Fallon.
The drive from Skunkworks to the Reno airport takes about one
hour. You can sleep at Skunkworks (tent/rv) before and/or after
the playa if’n ya wanna and catch a real shower.
On Monday night (sept 1st) we will have our SWB after-party.
This will be a chance to have one last hurrah with our campmates,
say goodbye, final spankings, consume any leftover substances,
howl at the moon and get naked (Skunkworks is secluded).
Please attend! It’s a time honored tradition.
**************************************
My name is Admiral Painjoy and I approved this message!
apj
“It was already on fire when I got here”
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral
Painjoy at: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
“This will all end in tears”
For past issues, click here: (please read the past
issues if you just joined spanky’s… there will be
a test… bring a #2 pencil!)
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html
You are receiving this email because you either
signed up as a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar,
OR
You are keeping tabs on us… like some kind of
weird and evil Burning Man spy!
Spanky’s Website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
Join the Yahoo Chatgroup:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
JULY 2008 part 2… “Son of July”
Only 30 days til Burning Man
(or 4 weeks or 720 hours or 43,200 minutes or 2,592,000 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> Last chance for cheap sign-ups!
> Skunkworks progress report
> Camp Events at 5:00pm
> Tent Stakes from Tarpman (a rare medium, well done!)
> “I can only geeve ya 64% power Cap’n” (BFG update)
> eLeM is our High Exalted Raccoon Poobah
> Camp/Bar lighting, couches, carpet, cushy things
> My Baby Takes the Morning Train
> Additions to The Ultimate Bman Packing List
> Can I camp next to my best friend ‘Playa-kissmonster-gurl’?
> Carne Armada Sign-ups
> New Spankers
> Name Badges
> iPods & CDs
> Submit your beer/wine/appetizer info… now bitch!
> Skunkworks after-party.
********************************************
LAST CHANCE FOR CHEAP SIGN-UPS
We still haven’t achieved our general camp budget, so…
Camp dues go up to $100.00 on August 1st for anyone who
hasn’t signed up yet.
We have room in Spanky’s for up to 40 more campers.
If we don’t meet our budget goals, one of three things happens…
1 – We charge each camper a little more money
OR
2 – We trim our expenses
OR
3 – We spend all the money on whiskey and hookers
********************************************
SKUNKWORKS PROGRESS REPORT
(and the next skunkworks weekend)
I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news…
The bad news is… Out of the dozen (or so) people that
said they could meet us at Joey’s, only 4 showed up.
<insert evil snarl here>
The good news is… The four Spankers that did show up
worked their tails off and got some fantastic work done!
(despite the 95 degree heat!) And Mayor Joey had a couple
of local friends that helped out too.
Here’s the status on the items we wanted to complete:
The Bar: (95% complete)
We re-built the largest section of the bar. Now it’s longer
and deeper (like me!). The new bar is still “U” shaped, but the front
section is now 12’ long and 3’ deep (allowing for more
dancers on the bartop). The bar is now painted “playa
color” and the random graffiti has begun. We still need to
create a new enclosure in the bar for the sound system controls.
The BASS: (100% complete)
We checked all the shade panels and hardware. Sadly, the
BASS was not stored properly by the last people who used it.
The shade panels are still usable, but probably only have one
or two years of life left in them. Most of the hardware was in
good shape. We purchased some steel tubing and modified it
to create some new A-frame supports to replace the broken ones.
The Camp Shower: (50% complete)
We built the wood frame and post system for the shower. We
still need to adjust the framing a bit, purchase and install the
decking and walls, and install the plumbing. (We gave up on
the idea of building a jaccuzzi that runs of the shower’s grey
water… so instead, we will pump the drain water to a drinking
fountain to mess with the newbies…<insert evil laugh here>)
(yes… I’m kidding)
The Bondage Wall: (90% complete)
Both of the walls for the double-sided bondage wall were framed.
We then covered them with padding and fake, imitation naugha-hide
(thus preserving the lives of several innocent naughas!)
We still need to trim the walls, install the hardware and base support
and paint the exposed wood. (We also need to spank some people real
bad… or spank some real bad people!)
The Burn-Your-Own-Man Machine: (20% complete)
Joey built some containment screens for the BYOM.
We still need somebody to tow the “wood chipper” thingy from
Sacramento to Fallon.
The Spank-O-Matic: (30% complete)
The machine was inspected (at our local Spank-O-Matic dealership)
and new parts were purchased.
Joey will work on the SOM over the next few weeks.
It was decided that the SOM should be set on a raised platform of
some sort this year for better audience viewing. We will mount it
on a stationary flat-bed trailer. APJ will bring the trailer. We need
to decorate it. (We thought of mounting it to a moving trailer, but
all the test subject died a horrible death with exposed, red asses!)
The Orgasmatron: (90% complete)
We reinforced the box and the staircase. We installed a new top on
the box, padded it, covered the padding with pretty fabric and then
encased it with clear plastic for easy cleaning. We painted the box
and the staircase. We also began the lettering on the box. Doug L.
purchased a 10’x20’ shade structure which he is going to lend the camp
as a privacy structure for the Orgasmatron. Doug is also going to
decorate the structure and provide lighting for it. We still need to
upholster the shin pads and mount them atop the box. And we need
to re-mount the seat on the vibratron table. (If I say ‘box’ or ‘mount’
one more time, I’m gunna have to cover my computer with clear
plastic!)
The SWB Camp Sign: (70% complete)
We received and inspected the sign lettering that Joel shipped to
Fallon… it looks way kewl!!! We cut the plywood backing for the
letters and primed it. We built the steel post frame to elevate
and secure the sign. We also purchased earth-auger stakes and
ratchet straps to secure the structure. We still need to paint the sign
silver and mount/test the letters. We also want to mount a couple of
lights atop the sign posts that will point down/back on the bondage wall
and the SOM. (Oops, I said ‘mount again… Oooh, ahhh ug! Zzzzzzz…)
The Teeter Totter of Death: (95% complete)
Mayor Joey is trying to swing transportation for the TToD. If he can
afford it, we will bring this toy to the playa and place it across the
Esplanade from camp (if we get esplanade). This toy was not previously
listed, but can now be viewed on the website on the “Toys” page. It
teeters and totters you to a height of nearly 20 feet as it spins!
We replaced the broken seat. It still needs to be painted.
(Death not 100% guaranteed!)
We are going to do another Skunkworks weekend in August.
We need to decide between the weekend of August 9th or August 16th.
We will also do final prep and loading of the trailers at Skunkworks
on Saturday Aug 23rd.
APJ will send an email soon to determine who can make it when.
*******************************************
CAMP EVENTS at 5pm
All of our camp events have been listed on the Bman website
and have been accepted for entry in the “What, Where, When”
guide that is given out upon entry to the event. The WWW guide
only allows for 140 characters in the description entries,
so they were edited to fit.
And I made some small adjustments to the event times. Now all
of our events begin at 5pm. This was done for simplicity sake.
(Crap! Now breakfast is at 5pm… I may have to rethink this!)
Our events are:
Sun 5pm-? – The Erection Party - for those who build SWB (not in WWW)
Tues 5pm-7pm – The Carne Armada
Wed 5pm-6pm – The Bad Boyz of Bman Best Buttz Contest
Thurs 5pm-6pm – The Shirt-Cocker’s Ball
Thurs 5pm-10pm – The Velvet Vixen Party
Fri 5pm-6:30pm – The LBD Parade
Mon 5pm-? – The Skunkworks After-Party (not in WWW)
Event descriptions on the Bman website are here:
http://playacal.burningman.com/day.php?date=20080826
********************************************
REBAR STAKES FROM TARPMAN
Great rebar stakes for tents, shade structures, etc. for $2.99 ea. (plus shipping)
I bought 8 stakes from this guy. They are perfect for Bman.
They are 18” long rebar (1/2” diameter) with a steel ring welded near the top.
They are also pointed on the other end for easier ‘playa penetration’ (that sounded
dirty!)
His name is Wayne (aka Tarpman) and he sells them on Ebay:
http://cgi.ebay.com/18-X1-2-REBAR-HEAVY-DUTY-STEEL-STAKE-TENT-
CANOPY_W0QQitemZ110273114267QQihZ001QQcategoryZ36120QQssPageNameZW
DVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
If the link is no longer valid, just search “rebar stakes” on Ebay.
*********************************************
BFG UPDATE
Thanks to the donations of many generous Spankers, we
are 64% of the way to being able to pay for our Big F*ckin
Generator and fuel (unless fuel prices go up, but Dubya
assures me that they wont!)… but we ain’t there yet.
We can only get there by enlisting more Spankers or by
donations from existing Spankers. If you have friends that
you think are SWB material, get them in touch with your Admiral.
We have $2000.00 in donations
We need $3125.00 for the gennie and the fuel
Without additional campers or donations, this could mean around
$18.00 more per person… but this number is decreasing every
week. Help us decrease it if you can… with some moolah or some
new, sexy spankers! (or both!)
********************************************
eLeM is our HIGH EXALTED RACCOON POOBAH
All hail Lisa Marie!!! She is our new HEXRAPOO! We have a dozen
el-cheapo raccoon masks for our Cooning expeditions. You should
also bring black pants and black shirts for the endevours… or even
furry coats/pants if’n ya got em. eLeM will be searching for more
masks and will help coordinate the attacks. Mmmmmm… beer!
Cooning description here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/events.html
*********************************************
CAMP/BAR LIGHTING, COUCHES, CARPET, CUSHY THINGS
Part of keeping the camp dues low this year was the plan of trying
to re-use and recycle our existing stuff… and to procure donations.
We want our bar to be an inviting (and well lit) place for our
guests to hang out. If you have an old sofa you can bring to the
playa (or to the Skunkworks), please let me know. Beanbag chairs,
inflatables, bar stools, etc are also needed.
This also goes for any type of lighting (spotlights, work lights,
DJ lighting, strobe lights, etc).
This also, also goes for carpeting for our bar area.
Check at your local garage sales too!
*****************************************
MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN
We will vote soon to determine if SWB is going to continue this
evil (and hilarious) tradition.
Here’s the story…
In 2006, there was a camp next to us. At 8:00am they blasted the
horrible song “My Baby Takes the Morning Train” by Sheen Easton.
The instant the song started, everyone in their camp got out of their tents
and RVs and began dancing wildly. They danced around their camp.
They danced on top of their RVs. It was loud. It was annoying. But
it was also kinda funny. And right after the song ended, they all went
back to sleep (or whatever)
Then on Tues morning at 8:00 they did the same thing… and Wed…
and Thurs…
By Friday, many from our camp joined them in this wonderful
insanity.
Last year, (2007) we continued the tradition.
Here’s the catch. Our neighbors will be very annoyed by this at first
if we do it. But there’s safety in numbers. So if we decide to do this…
we all have to commit to it. I mean really commit! If we all
participate, it will it have the humorous effect that is intended.
The vote will take place on the SWB yahoo chat list, so if you want
your vote to count… get on the list (link at the top of this email)
*****************************************
ADDITIONS TO THE ULTIMATE BMAN PACKING LIST
> Your donation of 3 cases of beer or 1 case of wine
> Your donation of 1 appetizer to share with your campmates
> Cooning clothes… if yer gunna Coon! (see above)
For the full list, click here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/packinglist.html
***************************************
CAMPER PLACEMENT IN SWB
(aka – “Can I camp right next to my friend Playa-kissymonster-gurl”?)
I have had a few people ask about their personal RV (or tent) placement in
camp. Everyone wants to camp right next to their friends. I can’t guarantee
that. The best way to make that happen is to arrive on the playa at the same
time they do. But there’s more… sometimes we need to place people (especially
RVs) in strategic locations based on many factors.
Here is an exerpt from one of my responses regarding this matter.
It explains the Admiral’s philosophy on the matter:
Not only are there logistical reasons for strategic RV & tent placement, (such as; arrival
times, wind breaks, sound dampeners, defining camp boundaries, ease of servicing the
RV, etc.) there are also social aspects to consider.
(And don't worry... this may sound rigid at first but it gets more flexible at the end… sadly,
just like me!)
As a long time burner and seven year veteran of leading camps and villages I have
noticed a few sociological patterns. (none of these will be great revelations... LOL)
In general:
1- people are lazy
2- people are shy
3- people are apt to form cliques
4- the British monarchy breeds retards
Part of my job as camp leader is to break people free of these sociological quirks. I
make efforts to have everyone socialize. “We're gunna have so much fucking fun we're
gunna be whistling zipity-do-da out of our assholes!” (OK... I'm stealing Chevy Chase's
lines)
Here's how it usually goes down without any external influence:
When friends camp right next to each other, they tend to arrange their tents/RVs in a circle
or U shape or some other configuration that appears (to outsiders) to be exclusive. They
don't do this on purpose... it's just human nature to want to create a nice semi-private
space to share with your closest friends. It's also human nature to want to be near to
your friends... those with whom you are comfortable... those with whom you have a history.
But... when this happens, the following also tends to happen too...
People wake up in the morning and step out of their tent/rv into their comfortable little
circle of friends. They have coffee, breakfast, whatever..., they bullshit with their friends,
plan the day, nap, go on an excursion with those same friends, come back to their circle,
tell stories, jokes, have cocktails and so on. Next thing ya know... days have gone by and
these people have hardly come out of their little circle of friends.
In the PlayaQ two years ago, Alex (camp leader) had everyone camp according to the
region of the country in which they lived. And while that was very accommodating and
cozy, it also created 4 cliques. The playaQ had a "center camp" area, but hardly ever got
used. Instead, 4 "mini-center-camps" emerged and there was little intermingling of the
regions. There were many people in the playaQ that camped in the same camp all week
and never really met.
By discouraging these camping cliques, it forces people to leave the safety of their own
tent/rv area and wander over to Spanky's center camp to meet their friends (and the rest
of the Spankers) at the bar/lounge area under the Big Ass Shade Structure (which is the
size of a small house).
This simple act works like a social catalyst. People are now placed in a situation where
they more easily overcome their shyness and/or laziness. They meet people, they begin
to form new friendships, they feel like they are part of something bigger.... and they are.
And... the best part... all that fun bullshitting, planning, the stories, the jokes, drinks, food,
etc. are shared. (am I sounding like a communist yet?) And don't forget the MPR show. I
love a big audience!
Also, whenever our Spanky's center camp is "hopping" with lotsa people, fun
conversation, laughter, good music, drinking, eating, etc.... it attracts "customers" to the
bar. This brings more new potential friends into the mix. More fun, more spankings,
more sexy, more party, more bman!
And... when these little cliques form (or camping families, as I call them) They tend to
slowly grow over the years. Then they start breeding amongst themselves. And after
twenty or forty years... I'm the leader of a village full of inbred mongoloids. (bet you were
wondering how I was gunna tie the British monarchy into this, huh?)
OK, now here comes the flexible part... With all that other stuff being said, I do
understand the need to spend time with your closest friends... the need to have intimate
or private time with them. So I will do my best to keep you and your friends close to one
another. I will have a camp map drawn up shortly after we get our placement on Aug.
1st. At that time, we can work out details and bat around RV & tent placement ideas.
(In addition to spitting up friends, we will also be splitting up couples this year. If you have
a hot wife or girlfriend, we will be taking her away from you for others to enjoy! Sorry, it’s
not
my fault. I don’t make the rules… Oh wait, yes I do) <insert more evil laughter>
****************************************
CARNE ARMADA SIGN-UPS
Coming to the website on August 1st.
****************************************
NEW SPANKERS
They come from all corners of the country… and even from across the pond
just to join in the mayhem!
Self, Mark (England)
Peckham, Oliver (England)
Matt (Walker's friend – Cali)
Shannon (Walker's friend – Cali)
Hayes, Tyler (New Orleans)
McCloud, Chris (?)
Favale, David (NY)
May, Richard (Cali)
Fate, Liz (Philly)
Welcome to Spanky’s you lovable freaks!!!
***************************************
NAME BADGES
Phil A. (of Villians & Virgins fame) has graciously volunteered
his intern to create SWB camp namebadges!!! Thanks Phil
(and intern). The badges will be the clip-on type
(where the actual badge slips into a clear plastic holder with a clip).
These can easily be clipped to your camelback, your clothes or
your nipple or any small patch of hair (in the event of nudity).
They identify you (in case you forget). They identify your
stuff (in case you leave your stuff somewhere). They tell others
where to bring you in case you pass out! (kinda like a human
luggage tag!)
Here’s what you all need to do. Email Phil the following info:
1- The name you want on your namebadge
2- A title or rank or quote you want to appear below your name
3- A photo
If you neglect to send any of this info, we are not responsible for
what appears on your namebadge! The cut-off date for badge
info is Aug 11th. After that, if we haven’t received your info
we will make your namebadge with whatever self-deprecating
crap we think is funny!
Email your info to Phil at:
phil@vitruvianventures.com
*************************************
iPODs and CDs
Our bar will have iPod capability. If you want to play some
music when the system if free, find the Admiral and he will
show you how to use it. If you want to play CDs, you must
also bring a small ‘disposable’ CD player (cheap walkman style).
The playa eats CD players. They only last 1-3 days in the dust…
maybe a bit longer if kept in a plastic bag.
Please don’t use the sound system without permission and
instruction. It’s easy to blow the speakers if you don’t know
what you’re doing. The speakers cost a lot of money!
Note: APJ reserves the right to veto music if it’s f*ckin up the
camp vibe. Arguments regarding music will be dealt with on
the bondage wall.
***************************************
SUBMIT YOUR BEER/WINE/APPY INFO
Go to the “Spankers” page on the website.
http://www.jimhillas.org/thespankers.html
Everyone is listed alphabetically according to their playa (or first) names.
If I haven’t gotten your beer/wine/appy info, there are question marks
next to your name. If that is the case… you are bad! Very, very bad!!!
Email me your beer/wine and appetizer info biatch!
We need a few “butt” related appys to serve during the Best
Buttz contest on Thursday afternoon… Butt steak tidbits…
Pork buns… Rump roast sandwiches… you get the idea.
***************************************
SKUNKWORKS AFTER PARTY (and prep pad)
On Sunday, Aug 31st, we begin to break-down camp on the playa.
On Monday, Sept 1st, we load up the trailers and haul our toys back
to the Skunkworks (Mayor Joey’s ranch in Fallon, NV). Where we
clean and store the toys until next year. This only takes a couple of
hours with a good number of people.
The Skunkworks is only two exits east of the Bman exit on I-80,
then 20 minutes south. Skunkworks is the perfect prep/decomp
place for before/after Bman. The town of Fallon has everything
you need to prep for the playa (or decompress)… good supermarket,
Walmart, restaurants, hotels (with pool), lumberyard, casinos, carwash
and a Lowe’s in Fernley… on the way to the playa from Fallon.
The drive from Skunkworks to the Reno airport takes about one
hour. You can sleep at Skunkworks (tent/rv) before and/or after
the playa if’n ya wanna and catch a real shower.
On Monday night (sept 1st) we will have our SWB after-party.
This will be a chance to have one last hurrah with our campmates,
say goodbye, final spankings, consume any leftover substances,
howl at the moon and get naked (Skunkworks is secluded).
Please attend! It’s a time honored tradition.
**************************************
My name is Admiral Painjoy and I approved this message!
apj
“It was already on fire when I got here”
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral
Painjoy at: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
August 2008 - Issue #6
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
For past issues, click below: (please read the past
issues if you just joined Spanky’s… or you will
most likely contract a rare disease and die a terrible,
slow, painful death.)
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html
You are receiving this email because you either
signed up as a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar,
OR
Admiral Painjoy takes great pleasure in flooding
your inbox with burningspam!
Spanky’s Website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
Join the Yahoo Chat Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
AUGUST 2008
Only 21 days til Burning Man
(or 3 weeks or 480 hours or 28,800 minutes or 1,728,000 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> SWB placement and Internal Camper Placements
> Early Arrivals on the playa
> SWB personal name badges (deadline 8/15)
> Skunkworks II Aug 15-17th (welders wanted)
> Dues and BFG report
> RVs and RV space available
> Rebar Info
> Carne Armada Sign-up…. arrrrr maytees!
> Bondage Wall video
> Stuff We Still Need
> My Baby Takes the Morning Train
> Ultimate Bman Packing List
> New Spankers
> iPods & CDs
> Submit your beer/wine/appetizer info… now bitch!
> Skunkworks after-party.
> COGs and COUGs
********************************************
SWB PLACEMENT AND INTERNAL CAMPER PLACEMENT
There has been a considerable amount of speculation about
what sexual favors I performed to get our Esplanade placement.
To that, I can only reply… come to my tent on the playa for
a demonstration.
OK… here it is… our exact placement:
We have been given 5:00 and Esplanade
The corner lot (west side) closest to Center Camp
We have 150 feet of Esplanade frontage
And our camp extends 400 feet back (to the “A” street)
Considering that I only asked for 140x300 you seriously might
want to come by my tent for a demonstration…
I’m quite good… really. ;)
(Actually, the truth is, the previous owners missed a few mortgage
payments and I got this great piece of property at a BRC foreclosure
sale. The local real estate prices are plummeting.
Now’s the time to buy!)
Our neighbors on the Esplanade are Thunderdome - Death
Guild, Illumination Village, KSVERT radio 106.5 and the
Red Nose District… and Mystic Camp is behind us on A street.
(and there’s some guy camped near us that creates vegan,
hindu babies from sequestered carbon emissions that are
guaranteed to grow up to be clerks at whole foods)
I’m currently calculating our camp cartographic chart…
(I’m also working on our camp map) One thing I need to
finish the map is everyone’s arrival/departure day on the playa.
If you didn’t submit this info when you signed up, do it now.
If your dates have changed, lemme know. If you have important
placement needs, lemme know.
I will do my best to keep you near your friends…. but no promises.
(Oh, and please note that this year, due to devout religious beliefs,
we will be splitting the camp by gender. Absolutely no contact
or co-mingling between sexes will be permitted… didn’t I mention
this when you signed up? There will be a tall, electrified,
barbed-wire fence separating men and women. Well, have fun everyone!
And finally… Mapping and placing individual campers is a difficult and
complex job (performed by professionally trained monkeys and/or drunken
Admirals). First draft should be posted to the website in a few daze.
********************************************
EARLY ARRIVALS ON THE PLAYA
All burners are allowed to enter Burning Man after 12:01am
Monday, August 25th (or late Sunday night, if you look at it
that way). Some people from Spanky’s Wine Bar will be
allowed to enter Bman earlier than that… but only if you
specifically arrive early to help set up our camp. I requested a
dozen “early arrival passes”. I don’t know if they will grant
us all 12 (I will know soon).
I will be at Mayor Joey’s ranch (skunkworks) on Thurs 8/22.
We will need help finishing projects, packing, loading trucks, etc
on Thurs/Fri and DEFINITELY Sat morning.
I will be the first “Spanker” in camp (Friday 8/22). I will be there
for the generator delivery and to do camp measuring/mapping
I don’t need anyone else until Mayor Joey arrives with the
camp toys and infrastructure supplies on Saturday. Then the
set-up begins.
If you want to arrive early, consider this… A person who can
be at Mayor Joeys on Sat morning to help load and be on the
playa Sat. afternoon is MUCH more valuable than a person
who can only arrive on Sunday. These Saturday people will be
my first choices for early arrivals.
Early arrivals will be rewarded for their efforts with a Sunday
night “Erection Party”.
Please re-submit you early arrival requests and let me know if
you can come to Mayor Joey’s on Fri or Sat… if you can only
come to the playa on Sat… or if you can come to the playa on
Sun. Nobody will be at Mayor Joey’s on Sat afternoon or Sunday.
*******************************************
SWB PERSONAL NAME BADGES
Personal SWB name badges are currently being made by our
fellow Spanker, Phil Asquith (I don’t know if he’s a villain or
a virgin… but he’s one)
The process for submitting your info and pics for name badges
has changed a bit. Simply go to the SWB website and click the
link in the upper right hand corner of the page (under the words;
JimHillas.Org) and follow the instructions.
The cut-off date for submitting your info is Friday, Aug 15th.
After that, we make your badge with whatever info/pic we want
to… trust me… you don’t want that!
*******************************************
SKUNKWORKS II
There will be another work/party weekend at Mayor Joey’s
ranch the weekend of Aug 15-17th. If you can attend, please do!
And Mayor Joey could use a person with welding skills!
Call me and let me know if you can make it.
APJ (Jim Hillas) 916.337.5353
********************************************
DUES AND BFG REPORT
We are getting really, really close on the BFG fund. The cost
for the gennie and diesel fuel is $3125.00. ($23.95 was the rental
cost of the gennie… the rest is fuel!... kiddin’)
Thanks to the generous, voluntary donations of soooo many
Spankers, we now have $2635.00!!!! (less some paypal fees)
So we are only around $500.00 shy of our goal.
We are also still a bit shy of our estimated ‘camp dues’ budget, which
means that we still need some more Spankers.
We comfortably have room for 15-20 more campers.
(We can handle up to 300 more if they don’t mind being
run through the ‘Burn Your Own Man’ Machine.)
*********************************************
RVs AND RV SPACE AVAILABLE
KP has two extra RVs reserved in Reno. One is 30’ and one is 27’.
They both cost $2700.00 and can sleep four (or six tight). Also,
there is a space or two in an all girl RV (yes, YOU must be a girl too!)
These spaces are available at $700.00 each.
Contact KP at: kpcote@mac.com
*********************************************
REBAR INFO
There is still time to buy those cool rebar stakes from “Tarpman”
for $2.99 each plus shipping. Just go to Ebay and search the words
“rebar stakes”. But do it soon, cuz they take about 8 days to ship.
Also, Charlie-in-the-OC (fellow Spanker) has created a couple of
“rebar drivers” that he will be bringing to the playa. These are great
for avoiding nasty injuries while hammering in your rebar. When
you are setting up your personal structures, ask Charlie or APJ to
borrow one of these.
See the “infrastructure” page on the website for more info and pics.
And don’t forget to bring something to cover the protruding
ends of your stakes (tennis balls, plastic bottles, doll heads,
dildos, Nerf footballs, dead raccoons, alive-but-well-sedated
raccoons, etc.) so that we don’t have any foot injuries in camp.
And finally, here’s some good advice from our friend Billy Sharpstick
on rebar removal and tent stakes:
“I made a rebar removal tool that works well if you are using rebar that
doesn't have those nice loops attached.
Use a large washer that’s big enough to fit over the rebar loosely… at least 1/8" larger.
Check Home Depot for a 5/8’ large square “fender washer”
I drilled a hole about 3/32" in the side of the washer and made a loop
of steel cable about 10" long(20" total length of cable). Join with an aircraft crimp connector
or cable clamp.
To use, just slip the washer over the rebar, all the way to the ground. use
a large pipe, 2x4 or other suitable lever and a couple chunks of wood as
a fulcrum. Slip the lever into the loop and pull it out of the ground. (watch
your eyes for flying playa)
Beats using vicegrips!
(for small residential tents i don't use rebar anymore. i figure if the
wind is so strong that it requires rebar to keep a tent down, it will
probably rip it loose anyway. i use those 10 or 12 inch galvanized nails
for corner stakes and a rope looped overhead and my tent is usually fill
of heavy crap anyway.)”
billy sharpstick
********************************************
CARNE ARMADA
If you’ve done a CA attack before, I’m sure you’re gunna
do it again. If you’ve never done one before… Most people
say it was the most fun they’ve ever had on the playa.
Full description and Sign-ups are now open on the website!
Click this link:
http://www.jimhillas.org/carnearmada.html
*********************************************
BONDAGE WALL VIDEO
While at Skunkworks last month, we built the bondage wall.
Mayor Joey got some good footage of the new wall being
tested. He posted it to youtube. Go to the “toys” page of the
website, scroll down to the pic of the old bondage wall and
click the link below if you’re a pervert and you wanna view
the video footage! (no full nudity, but still, pretty hard-core)
********************************************
STUFF WE STILL NEED
(REPOST) Part of keeping the camp dues low this year was the plan of trying
to re-use and recycle our existing stuff… and to procure donations.
We want our bar to be an inviting (and well lit) place for our
guests to hang out. If you have an old sofa you can bring to the
playa (or to the Skunkworks), please let me know. Beanbag chairs,
inflatables, bar stools, etc are also needed.
This also goes for any type of lighting (spotlights, work lights,
DJ lighting, strobe lights, etc).
This also, also goes for carpeting for our bar area.
Check at your local garage sales too!
*****************************************
MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN
Voting is still open to determine if SWB is going to continue this
evil (and hilarious) tradition.
Here’s the story…
In 2006, there was a camp next to us. At 8:00am they blasted the
horrible song “My Baby Takes the Morning Train” by Sheen Easton.
The instant the song started, everyone in their camp got out of their tents
and RVs and began dancing wildly. They danced around their camp.
They danced on top of their RVs. It was loud. It was annoying. But
it was also kinda funny. And right after the song ended, they all went
back to sleep (or whatever)
Then on Tues morning at 8:00 they did the same thing… and Wed…
and Thurs…
By Friday, many from our camp joined them in this wonderful
insanity.
Last year, (2007) we continued the tradition.
Here’s the catch. Our neighbors will be very annoyed by this at first
if we do it. But there’s safety in numbers. So if we decide to do this…
we all have to commit to it. I mean really commit! If we all
participate, it will it have the humorous effect that is intended.
The vote is NOW taking place on the SWB yahoo chat list, so if you want
your vote to count… get on the list (link at the top of this email)
*****************************************
ADDITIONS TO THE ULTIMATE BMAN PACKING LIST
> Pirate costume for the Carne Armada attack
For the full list, click here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/packinglist.html
***************************************
NEW SPANKERS
Spanning the globe to give you a constant variety
of sports… our new Spankers this week are:
Germi, Camille (Cali)
Griffin, Laura (Nevada)
Nemo?
Blattel, Eleanor (Cali)
Hamiliton, Barbara (Florida)
Brunelli, Tiffany (Cali)
Bhatnagar, Mayur (London)
Saul, Mark ?
Berys, Brenda (NYC)
KPs Slaves ?
Dew, David (AZ)
Welcome to Spanky’s you lovable freaks!!!
***************************************
iPODs and CDs
(REPOST) Our bar will have iPod capability. If you want to play some
music when the system if free, find the Admiral and he will
show you how to use it. If you want to play CDs, you must
also bring a small ‘disposable’ CD player (cheap walkman style).
The playa eats CD players. They only last 1-3 days in the dust…
maybe a bit longer if kept in a plastic bag.
Please don’t use the sound system without permission and
instruction. It’s easy to blow the speakers if you don’t know
what you’re doing. The speakers cost a lot of money!
Note: APJ reserves the right to veto music if it’s f*ckin up the
camp vibe. Arguments regarding music will be dealt with on
the bondage wall.
***************************************
SUBMIT YOUR BEER/WINE/APPY INFO
(REPOST) Go to the “Spankers” page on the website.
http://www.jimhillas.org/thespankers.html
Everyone is listed alphabetically according to their playa (or first) names.
If I haven’t gotten your beer/wine/appy info, there are question marks
next to your name. If that is the case… you are bad! Very, very bad!!!
Email me your beer/wine and appetizer info biatch!
We need a few “butt” related appys to serve during the Best
Buttz contest on Thursday afternoon… Butt steak tidbits…
Pork buns… Rump roast sandwiches… you get the idea.
***************************************
SKUNKWORKS AFTER PARTY (and prep pad)
On Sunday, Aug 31st, we begin to break-down camp on the playa.
On Monday, Sept 1st, we load up the trailers and haul our toys back
to the Skunkworks (Mayor Joey’s ranch in Fallon, NV). Where we
clean and store the toys until next year. This only takes a couple of
hours with a good number of people.
The Skunkworks is only two exits east of the Bman exit on I-80,
then 20 minutes south. Skunkworks is the perfect prep/decomp
place for before/after Bman. The town of Fallon has everything
you need to prep for the playa (or decompress)… good supermarket,
Walmart, restaurants, hotels (with pool), lumberyard, casinos, carwash
and a Lowe’s in Fernley… on the way to the playa from Fallon.
The drive from Skunkworks to the Reno airport takes about one
hour. You can sleep at Skunkworks (tent/rv) before and/or after
the playa if’n ya wanna and catch a real shower.
On Monday night (Sept 1st) we will have our SWB after-party.
This will be a chance to have one last hurrah with our campmates,
say goodbye, final spankings, consume any leftover substances,
howl at the moon and dance naked (Skunkworks is secluded).
Please attend! It’s a time honored tradition.
**************************************
COGs & COUGs
It isn’t often that I am totally serious about anything…
but I am serious about this…
Spanky’s Wine Bar is a camp that is overtly sexual in nature.
We have a bondage wall, a spanking machine and an orgasm
machine. Our camp goal is to provide sexy FUN to our
customers (and to ourselves as well). But the key word is
“fun”. Our camp, by it’s very nature, walks a razor’s edge.
We all need to make sure that the vibe at SWB remains positive
at all times.
Everyone burn the phrase “SAFE, SANE AND CONSENTUAL”
into your brains. We always ask permission and silence is not
consent.
If I see anyone forcing others into participating
in any of our events or using our toys, I will not tolerate it. This
could be grounds for ejection from the camp.
This also goes for persistent “COG and COUG” behavior.
COG stands for “creepy old guy”. COUG is short for “cougar”.
There is no age minimum for this behavior… and everyone
has the potential for acting this way (given the right circumstances
and a bit too much to drink)… even yours truly!
So we need to “police” each other’s behavior. And we need to be
accepting of our campmates advice if they tap us on the shoulder
and politely let us know if we are acting badly.
Remember… No means NO!
But… Yes means YES.
(and Ocho means Eight, but we’ll cover that in next week’s class)
Here’s a few examples of what I’m talking about:
> Dancing naked on the bar is not only allowed… it’s encouraged.
But copping a feel without permission or lewd comments are not
allowed. We want dancers be able to have fun up there and feel
safe.
> Smacking a customer’s ass and saying “Welcome to Spanky’s”
is not cool… Saying “Welcome to Spanky’s” and holding your
hand up (as if ready to spank) and saying “May I?” would be better.
> While working the bondage wall… yanking a bound person’s
pants down… un-cool. Whispering “are you OK with nudity”
and getting a “yes” prior to doing that… okee dokee!
> Constantly ogling people with a zombie-like look on your face… bad.
Walking up to people with a smile and saying, “Hi, I’m so-and-so.
Welcome to Spanky’s. Let me know if I can get you anything
or if you want to participate”… good
Our camp is about fun, fetish and fantasy (and wine!). And Bman
is a great venue for exploring these things. If there is some kind of
sexy performance you want to do and you’re unsure if it’s cool… just
run it by me first. I’m sure we can find a way to make it happen
and still keep it (somewhat) tasteful, fun and perhaps even humorous.
**************************************
My name is Admiral Painjoy… remember to have you pet Llama
spayed or neutered!
apj
“You’re not f*ckin’ doin’ it right!”
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral Painjoy
at: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Wine Bar
For past issues, click below: (please read the past
issues if you just joined Spanky’s… or you will
most likely contract a rare disease and die a terrible,
slow, painful death.)
http://www.jimhillas.org/paddler.html
You are receiving this email because you either
signed up as a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar,
OR
Admiral Painjoy takes great pleasure in flooding
your inbox with burningspam!
Spanky’s Website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
Join the Yahoo Chat Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankyswinebar/
AUGUST 2008
Only 21 days til Burning Man
(or 3 weeks or 480 hours or 28,800 minutes or 1,728,000 seconds…
give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> SWB placement and Internal Camper Placements
> Early Arrivals on the playa
> SWB personal name badges (deadline 8/15)
> Skunkworks II Aug 15-17th (welders wanted)
> Dues and BFG report
> RVs and RV space available
> Rebar Info
> Carne Armada Sign-up…. arrrrr maytees!
> Bondage Wall video
> Stuff We Still Need
> My Baby Takes the Morning Train
> Ultimate Bman Packing List
> New Spankers
> iPods & CDs
> Submit your beer/wine/appetizer info… now bitch!
> Skunkworks after-party.
> COGs and COUGs
********************************************
SWB PLACEMENT AND INTERNAL CAMPER PLACEMENT
There has been a considerable amount of speculation about
what sexual favors I performed to get our Esplanade placement.
To that, I can only reply… come to my tent on the playa for
a demonstration.
OK… here it is… our exact placement:
We have been given 5:00 and Esplanade
The corner lot (west side) closest to Center Camp
We have 150 feet of Esplanade frontage
And our camp extends 400 feet back (to the “A” street)
Considering that I only asked for 140x300 you seriously might
want to come by my tent for a demonstration…
I’m quite good… really. ;)
(Actually, the truth is, the previous owners missed a few mortgage
payments and I got this great piece of property at a BRC foreclosure
sale. The local real estate prices are plummeting.
Now’s the time to buy!)
Our neighbors on the Esplanade are Thunderdome - Death
Guild, Illumination Village, KSVERT radio 106.5 and the
Red Nose District… and Mystic Camp is behind us on A street.
(and there’s some guy camped near us that creates vegan,
hindu babies from sequestered carbon emissions that are
guaranteed to grow up to be clerks at whole foods)
I’m currently calculating our camp cartographic chart…
(I’m also working on our camp map) One thing I need to
finish the map is everyone’s arrival/departure day on the playa.
If you didn’t submit this info when you signed up, do it now.
If your dates have changed, lemme know. If you have important
placement needs, lemme know.
I will do my best to keep you near your friends…. but no promises.
(Oh, and please note that this year, due to devout religious beliefs,
we will be splitting the camp by gender. Absolutely no contact
or co-mingling between sexes will be permitted… didn’t I mention
this when you signed up? There will be a tall, electrified,
barbed-wire fence separating men and women. Well, have fun everyone!
And finally… Mapping and placing individual campers is a difficult and
complex job (performed by professionally trained monkeys and/or drunken
Admirals). First draft should be posted to the website in a few daze.
********************************************
EARLY ARRIVALS ON THE PLAYA
All burners are allowed to enter Burning Man after 12:01am
Monday, August 25th (or late Sunday night, if you look at it
that way). Some people from Spanky’s Wine Bar will be
allowed to enter Bman earlier than that… but only if you
specifically arrive early to help set up our camp. I requested a
dozen “early arrival passes”. I don’t know if they will grant
us all 12 (I will know soon).
I will be at Mayor Joey’s ranch (skunkworks) on Thurs 8/22.
We will need help finishing projects, packing, loading trucks, etc
on Thurs/Fri and DEFINITELY Sat morning.
I will be the first “Spanker” in camp (Friday 8/22). I will be there
for the generator delivery and to do camp measuring/mapping
I don’t need anyone else until Mayor Joey arrives with the
camp toys and infrastructure supplies on Saturday. Then the
set-up begins.
If you want to arrive early, consider this… A person who can
be at Mayor Joeys on Sat morning to help load and be on the
playa Sat. afternoon is MUCH more valuable than a person
who can only arrive on Sunday. These Saturday people will be
my first choices for early arrivals.
Early arrivals will be rewarded for their efforts with a Sunday
night “Erection Party”.
Please re-submit you early arrival requests and let me know if
you can come to Mayor Joey’s on Fri or Sat… if you can only
come to the playa on Sat… or if you can come to the playa on
Sun. Nobody will be at Mayor Joey’s on Sat afternoon or Sunday.
*******************************************
SWB PERSONAL NAME BADGES
Personal SWB name badges are currently being made by our
fellow Spanker, Phil Asquith (I don’t know if he’s a villain or
a virgin… but he’s one)
The process for submitting your info and pics for name badges
has changed a bit. Simply go to the SWB website and click the
link in the upper right hand corner of the page (under the words;
JimHillas.Org) and follow the instructions.
The cut-off date for submitting your info is Friday, Aug 15th.
After that, we make your badge with whatever info/pic we want
to… trust me… you don’t want that!
*******************************************
SKUNKWORKS II
There will be another work/party weekend at Mayor Joey’s
ranch the weekend of Aug 15-17th. If you can attend, please do!
And Mayor Joey could use a person with welding skills!
Call me and let me know if you can make it.
APJ (Jim Hillas) 916.337.5353
********************************************
DUES AND BFG REPORT
We are getting really, really close on the BFG fund. The cost
for the gennie and diesel fuel is $3125.00. ($23.95 was the rental
cost of the gennie… the rest is fuel!... kiddin’)
Thanks to the generous, voluntary donations of soooo many
Spankers, we now have $2635.00!!!! (less some paypal fees)
So we are only around $500.00 shy of our goal.
We are also still a bit shy of our estimated ‘camp dues’ budget, which
means that we still need some more Spankers.
We comfortably have room for 15-20 more campers.
(We can handle up to 300 more if they don’t mind being
run through the ‘Burn Your Own Man’ Machine.)
*********************************************
RVs AND RV SPACE AVAILABLE
KP has two extra RVs reserved in Reno. One is 30’ and one is 27’.
They both cost $2700.00 and can sleep four (or six tight). Also,
there is a space or two in an all girl RV (yes, YOU must be a girl too!)
These spaces are available at $700.00 each.
Contact KP at: kpcote@mac.com
*********************************************
REBAR INFO
There is still time to buy those cool rebar stakes from “Tarpman”
for $2.99 each plus shipping. Just go to Ebay and search the words
“rebar stakes”. But do it soon, cuz they take about 8 days to ship.
Also, Charlie-in-the-OC (fellow Spanker) has created a couple of
“rebar drivers” that he will be bringing to the playa. These are great
for avoiding nasty injuries while hammering in your rebar. When
you are setting up your personal structures, ask Charlie or APJ to
borrow one of these.
See the “infrastructure” page on the website for more info and pics.
And don’t forget to bring something to cover the protruding
ends of your stakes (tennis balls, plastic bottles, doll heads,
dildos, Nerf footballs, dead raccoons, alive-but-well-sedated
raccoons, etc.) so that we don’t have any foot injuries in camp.
And finally, here’s some good advice from our friend Billy Sharpstick
on rebar removal and tent stakes:
“I made a rebar removal tool that works well if you are using rebar that
doesn't have those nice loops attached.
Use a large washer that’s big enough to fit over the rebar loosely… at least 1/8" larger.
Check Home Depot for a 5/8’ large square “fender washer”
I drilled a hole about 3/32" in the side of the washer and made a loop
of steel cable about 10" long(20" total length of cable). Join with an aircraft crimp connector
or cable clamp.
To use, just slip the washer over the rebar, all the way to the ground. use
a large pipe, 2x4 or other suitable lever and a couple chunks of wood as
a fulcrum. Slip the lever into the loop and pull it out of the ground. (watch
your eyes for flying playa)
Beats using vicegrips!
(for small residential tents i don't use rebar anymore. i figure if the
wind is so strong that it requires rebar to keep a tent down, it will
probably rip it loose anyway. i use those 10 or 12 inch galvanized nails
for corner stakes and a rope looped overhead and my tent is usually fill
of heavy crap anyway.)”
billy sharpstick
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CARNE ARMADA
If you’ve done a CA attack before, I’m sure you’re gunna
do it again. If you’ve never done one before… Most people
say it was the most fun they’ve ever had on the playa.
Full description and Sign-ups are now open on the website!
Click this link:
http://www.jimhillas.org/carnearmada.html
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BONDAGE WALL VIDEO
While at Skunkworks last month, we built the bondage wall.
Mayor Joey got some good footage of the new wall being
tested. He posted it to youtube. Go to the “toys” page of the
website, scroll down to the pic of the old bondage wall and
click the link below if you’re a pervert and you wanna view
the video footage! (no full nudity, but still, pretty hard-core)
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STUFF WE STILL NEED
(REPOST) Part of keeping the camp dues low this year was the plan of trying
to re-use and recycle our existing stuff… and to procure donations.
We want our bar to be an inviting (and well lit) place for our
guests to hang out. If you have an old sofa you can bring to the
playa (or to the Skunkworks), please let me know. Beanbag chairs,
inflatables, bar stools, etc are also needed.
This also goes for any type of lighting (spotlights, work lights,
DJ lighting, strobe lights, etc).
This also, also goes for carpeting for our bar area.
Check at your local garage sales too!
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MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN
Voting is still open to determine if SWB is going to continue this
evil (and hilarious) tradition.
Here’s the story…
In 2006, there was a camp next to us. At 8:00am they blasted the
horrible song “My Baby Takes the Morning Train” by Sheen Easton.
The instant the song started, everyone in their camp got out of their tents
and RVs and began dancing wildly. They danced around their camp.
They danced on top of their RVs. It was loud. It was annoying. But
it was also kinda funny. And right after the song ended, they all went
back to sleep (or whatever)
Then on Tues morning at 8:00 they did the same thing… and Wed…
and Thurs…
By Friday, many from our camp joined them in this wonderful
insanity.
Last year, (2007) we continued the tradition.
Here’s the catch. Our neighbors will be very annoyed by this at first
if we do it. But there’s safety in numbers. So if we decide to do this…
we all have to commit to it. I mean really commit! If we all
participate, it will it have the humorous effect that is intended.
The vote is NOW taking place on the SWB yahoo chat list, so if you want
your vote to count… get on the list (link at the top of this email)
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ADDITIONS TO THE ULTIMATE BMAN PACKING LIST
> Pirate costume for the Carne Armada attack
For the full list, click here:
http://www.jimhillas.org/packinglist.html
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NEW SPANKERS
Spanning the globe to give you a constant variety
of sports… our new Spankers this week are:
Germi, Camille (Cali)
Griffin, Laura (Nevada)
Nemo?
Blattel, Eleanor (Cali)
Hamiliton, Barbara (Florida)
Brunelli, Tiffany (Cali)
Bhatnagar, Mayur (London)
Saul, Mark ?
Berys, Brenda (NYC)
KPs Slaves ?
Dew, David (AZ)
Welcome to Spanky’s you lovable freaks!!!
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iPODs and CDs
(REPOST) Our bar will have iPod capability. If you want to play some
music when the system if free, find the Admiral and he will
show you how to use it. If you want to play CDs, you must
also bring a small ‘disposable’ CD player (cheap walkman style).
The playa eats CD players. They only last 1-3 days in the dust…
maybe a bit longer if kept in a plastic bag.
Please don’t use the sound system without permission and
instruction. It’s easy to blow the speakers if you don’t know
what you’re doing. The speakers cost a lot of money!
Note: APJ reserves the right to veto music if it’s f*ckin up the
camp vibe. Arguments regarding music will be dealt with on
the bondage wall.
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SUBMIT YOUR BEER/WINE/APPY INFO
(REPOST) Go to the “Spankers” page on the website.
http://www.jimhillas.org/thespankers.html
Everyone is listed alphabetically according to their playa (or first) names.
If I haven’t gotten your beer/wine/appy info, there are question marks
next to your name. If that is the case… you are bad! Very, very bad!!!
Email me your beer/wine and appetizer info biatch!
We need a few “butt” related appys to serve during the Best
Buttz contest on Thursday afternoon… Butt steak tidbits…
Pork buns… Rump roast sandwiches… you get the idea.
***************************************
SKUNKWORKS AFTER PARTY (and prep pad)
On Sunday, Aug 31st, we begin to break-down camp on the playa.
On Monday, Sept 1st, we load up the trailers and haul our toys back
to the Skunkworks (Mayor Joey’s ranch in Fallon, NV). Where we
clean and store the toys until next year. This only takes a couple of
hours with a good number of people.
The Skunkworks is only two exits east of the Bman exit on I-80,
then 20 minutes south. Skunkworks is the perfect prep/decomp
place for before/after Bman. The town of Fallon has everything
you need to prep for the playa (or decompress)… good supermarket,
Walmart, restaurants, hotels (with pool), lumberyard, casinos, carwash
and a Lowe’s in Fernley… on the way to the playa from Fallon.
The drive from Skunkworks to the Reno airport takes about one
hour. You can sleep at Skunkworks (tent/rv) before and/or after
the playa if’n ya wanna and catch a real shower.
On Monday night (Sept 1st) we will have our SWB after-party.
This will be a chance to have one last hurrah with our campmates,
say goodbye, final spankings, consume any leftover substances,
howl at the moon and dance naked (Skunkworks is secluded).
Please attend! It’s a time honored tradition.
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COGs & COUGs
It isn’t often that I am totally serious about anything…
but I am serious about this…
Spanky’s Wine Bar is a camp that is overtly sexual in nature.
We have a bondage wall, a spanking machine and an orgasm
machine. Our camp goal is to provide sexy FUN to our
customers (and to ourselves as well). But the key word is
“fun”. Our camp, by it’s very nature, walks a razor’s edge.
We all need to make sure that the vibe at SWB remains positive
at all times.
Everyone burn the phrase “SAFE, SANE AND CONSENTUAL”
into your brains. We always ask permission and silence is not
consent.
If I see anyone forcing others into participating
in any of our events or using our toys, I will not tolerate it. This
could be grounds for ejection from the camp.
This also goes for persistent “COG and COUG” behavior.
COG stands for “creepy old guy”. COUG is short for “cougar”.
There is no age minimum for this behavior… and everyone
has the potential for acting this way (given the right circumstances
and a bit too much to drink)… even yours truly!
So we need to “police” each other’s behavior. And we need to be
accepting of our campmates advice if they tap us on the shoulder
and politely let us know if we are acting badly.
Remember… No means NO!
But… Yes means YES.
(and Ocho means Eight, but we’ll cover that in next week’s class)
Here’s a few examples of what I’m talking about:
> Dancing naked on the bar is not only allowed… it’s encouraged.
But copping a feel without permission or lewd comments are not
allowed. We want dancers be able to have fun up there and feel
safe.
> Smacking a customer’s ass and saying “Welcome to Spanky’s”
is not cool… Saying “Welcome to Spanky’s” and holding your
hand up (as if ready to spank) and saying “May I?” would be better.
> While working the bondage wall… yanking a bound person’s
pants down… un-cool. Whispering “are you OK with nudity”
and getting a “yes” prior to doing that… okee dokee!
> Constantly ogling people with a zombie-like look on your face… bad.
Walking up to people with a smile and saying, “Hi, I’m so-and-so.
Welcome to Spanky’s. Let me know if I can get you anything
or if you want to participate”… good
Our camp is about fun, fetish and fantasy (and wine!). And Bman
is a great venue for exploring these things. If there is some kind of
sexy performance you want to do and you’re unsure if it’s cool… just
run it by me first. I’m sure we can find a way to make it happen
and still keep it (somewhat) tasteful, fun and perhaps even humorous.
**************************************
My name is Admiral Painjoy… remember to have you pet Llama
spayed or neutered!
apj
“You’re not f*ckin’ doin’ it right!”
To be removed from the mailing list for Spanky’s Wine Bar, send an email to Admiral Painjoy
at: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com saying ‘take me off this crazy list”