 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
APRIL/MAY 2009
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Village
(That’s right… we said “Village” bitch!)
Welcome to the first issue for 2009…
Welcome to the Evolution!!!
~Admiral Painjoy~
You are receiving this email because:
#1 - You were camped with us in Spanky’s last year and
we want you back… or…
#2 - We are trying to lure you into our nefarious web… or…
#C - You are a friend of Spanky’s and you want to stay
abreast of whatz going on (hehe… he said breast)… or…
#four – You are a member of one of our new camps… or…
#V – The recent outbreak of sunspots has caused this
email to travel down the wrong tube… in the network
of interweb tubes
APRIL 2009
Only 138 days til Burning Man
(or 3312 hours or 198,720 minutes or 11.9 million shakes of
a lambs tail… give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> Village People
> Medallions for your camp
> Website
> Sign-Ups
> Who’s Signed Up so Far
> Dues
> Workshifts
> The Skunkworks
> Spanky’s wish list
VILLAGE PEOPLE
That’s right, we’re a village, people!
Last year, we were Spanky’s Wine Bar (with three sub-camps;
the burning band, villains & virgins, and DB’s massage/hairwash)
This year we will have those camps, plus…
>The PVM (Positive Vibe Movement)
> Camp Mystic (The were our neighbors last year)
> Hookah Homestead
(maybe more?)
Most of the members of these new camps are based in Florida
(but they all know how to properly work a butterfly ballot)
The PVM crew has a new art/party bus (called the NautiBus)
and there are many awesome fire performers and DJs in the
PVM/Mystic crew. They will be hosting a party on Thursday
night in the Village called “The Evolution of Breaks”. PVM
also will be bringing a big Moroccan tent to the village which
will be home to many pampering delights.
The Hookah Homestead is bringing a tent to the village
wherein there will be hookahs, tobaccos and a nice, chill
atmosphere for the wee hours of the morning. We love the
ambient sunrise sets!
Each of these camps (along with the others) will soon be posting
a more detailed description and history, which will be posted on
the Village website.
Spanky’s is very happy to welcome our new friends into the fold.
MEDALLIONS FOR YOUR CAMP
Our friend Jonathan West (aka Dr. Entomo) is a former member
of Firefly Village and the conGLOMerate Village. Veteran
burners may remember his “dragonfly shower” in the Glom. Well,
it turns out that Jonathan recently started a new business in which
he creates (among other things) medallions. The sort that can be
hung on necklaces (or more apropos to our village, slave collars).
He works with brass, copper and aluminum. He can create different
shapes (not just circles). He can finish in different patinas. They can
be one sided or two sided. Designs can be engraved or raised. And
they are very nice looking (I have a sample in front of me right now
that looks like an antique coin… silver dollar size).
They are near mint quality but with a certain look that can
only be described as “fine burner jewelry”. The prices for the medallions
range from $8-$10 each based on the options selected from above.
Attached to this email are some samples of the sort of things he can do.
Here’s what we should do. First off, let’s design a medallion for Spanky’s
Village. Second, lets design medallions for the other camps too! Then
whomever wants some, can order them thru the Spanky’s website.
Keep in mind that we cannot wait until the last minute to finalize designs
and orders and expect that Jonathan can fill the orders overnight.
We need to create and summit our design ideas as soon as possible
to ensure that Jonathan has ample time to complete them all.
We need to keep our design to detail at a level similar to that of those
depicted in the attachments. Jonathan is happy to provide a 3-d
rendering of design ideas for approval.
I will also look into different slave collars, necklaces, etc that we could
hang our medallions from and I will post that info in the next Paddler.
Once we have all that info, we can place orders. This medallion/collar
stuff is voluntary and is not part of the village dues. I will volunteer to
organize the orders for everyone.
Send all your design ideas to Painjoy at: jimhillas_gc (at) yahoo (dot) com
They should be drawn in detail (or done with a computer program
dwg or dfx) and sent in jpg (or other common) format.
Once we have a few, we will vote on the best ones.
Happy designing!
WEBSITE
We are about a month behind schedule due to malicious gremlins
and evil forces of the universe, but…
The website is up and running and nearly complete.
We are adding more content and more details every week.
Our website is a very useful tool and you can refer to it often.
I am currently working on the workshift sign-up page.
Then I will be adding lots and lots of pics to the site.
If you have any pics you want considered for the site, email
them to Admiral Painjoy.
Here’s the link to the Spanky’s Village website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
SIGNUPS
You are not an official member of the Village until you go to the
website and sign up. If you have camped with us before or if you
are a member of one of our new camps, no approval is needed. If
you are a prospective member, please send Admiral Painjoy an email
so that he can vet you. Signing up is easy and it only takes a few
minutes… and it merely costs you your soul! (bwahahaha)
There is a limited amount of space in the Village for camping, so
sign up right away.
Here’s who has signed up so far:
NAME PLAYANAME – LOCATION – CAMP
Jim H. Painjoy Cali SWB
Tom E. Pope DB Oregon SWB
Bill A. Beach Boy FL PVM
Charlie C. Charlie-in-the-OC Cali SWB
Bruce D. Mr. Guano Cali BBand
Shannon A. Shennanigans Cali SWB
Joey P. Mayor Joey Nev SWB
John B. Birdsong New Orleans BBand
Nancy S. Hooker Clown FL SWB
Inge K. Inge Amsterdam V&V
Cynthia C. SINdy Cali BBand
Regina D. Playa Bitch FL PVM
Trenton P. Catfish Cali SWB
Paul M. Carbon Buildup Oregon BBand
Diane G. Carmen Cali BBand
Barry G. Pooch Cali BBand
Alex V. Sasha Wash V&V (paid dues, but need to sign up)
Anna V. Anna Wash V&V (paid dues, but need to sign up)
Rob C. Carpy Cali BBand
Welcome aboard matees!
VILLAGE DUES
Our village dues help pay for the infrastructure of the village (see
the website for more details). The dues are currently $100.00 per
Village member.
We understand that times are tough for everyone financially, but
without this money, we don’t get to have the village we want. And
our dues are low compared to most other Esplanade villages. And
when you consider the other costs associated with going to Bman
(driving, flying, bman ticket, camping equipment, food, costumes, etc)
the Village dues are the smallest expense.
But, none-the-less, we do have options available. There are payment plans
available to those who are on a weekly/monthly budget. There is also
a “severe hardship case” fund (which is funded by the generosity of
other village members/rockstars who pay more than the prevailing dues rate).
If you need to avail yourself of either of these options, send an email
to Admiral Painjoy. No willing and able “Spanker” should be denied
admittance because they are broke. All emails are kept in the strictest
of confidence.
And please, if you can afford it, pay more than the minimum dues so
that we can have everything and everyone that we want/need on the playa
this year… be a rockstar if you can!
WORKSHIFTS
There are many reasons for workshifts. First and foremost, they spread
the workload over the entire village. Without shifts, a very few people
wind up doing most of the work… and that’s not fair. Many hands make
light work. (And “work” is a relative term, I mean, how much “work” is
it to bring a beautiful person to orgasm?... OK, maybe a bad example)
Second, workshifts assure that our attractions are open and available to
the public when we say they will be. Being an Esplanade village, we are
required to be open for business and interactive most hours of the day
and night. Our toys and bar are what warrant our Esplanade real-estate.
Third, many of our toys and attractions are so much fun, that people get upset
if they don’t get an opportunity to run them. Shifts make sure that everyone
gets a fair shot at them.
Fourth, we are only asking for 8 hours on the playa (aside from set-up and
break down). That leaves 160+ hours of free time to do fuck-all!
And finally, pitching-in makes you feel like you are part of the village and
not just a guest. There are usually great social aspects to the workshifts.
You get to meet your fellow Spankers. You get to meet new and interesting
burners.
Now, I know many of you are thinking that you don’t want to be “tied
down” (wait, bad choice of words), “locked into” (hmmm, not much better)
“strapped to” (I can’t stop!... ok, breathe)… “committed” to particular times
to do things on the playa. This is understandable. After all, this is your
vacation. We understand. We are only asking that you sign up for shifts
and make a good effort to stick to your word. If you are hung over, drunk,
exhausted, etc., just let the “camp bitch” for the day know about it. He
or she will try to fill your work shift. Or, even better, you can find
somebody to swap shifts with.
It may appear that Painjoy is trying to run the camp in a way-too-
organized manner, but fear not. Painjoy is a soft touch, a very sweet and
gentle man, a nice guy (but don’t ever turn your back on him for a second!)
And if you completely and totally refuse to sign up for workshifts (for
religious, political, or psychological reasons), just send Admiral
Painjoy an email and he will work something out with you.
There now… that wasn’t so bad… was it?
THE SKUNKWORKS
It takes a village to build a village. We have scheduled three work/party
weekends at Mayor Joeys ranch in Fallon, NV (aka The Skunkworks).
We work on the toys and the village infrastructure projects during the
daytime… We party hardy at night. These weekends are lotza fun. There
are things for everyone to do. Please join us for a weekend (or two, or
three) if you can. All the needed info is on the website.
The first Skunkworks weekend is June 5 – 7. This weekend was selected
so that Phil could make it… see ya there Phil! ;)
Note: If you are flying-in for a Skunkworks weekend, we will probably
be able to pick you up and drop you off at the Reno airport. Let APJ
know if you require this service.
Also, we will need people to help load trucks on the days just before
bman… and we will need people to help unload after the event.
All volunteers will get laid! Let Painjoy know if you can help when
you signup to join the village.
SPANKY’S WISH LIST
Here is a list of things that we are on the lookout for… either free
or dirt cheap. Keep in mind that these things need to make it to
Mayor Joey’s ranch some time before bman.
> Sofas and chairs for the bar area
> Coffee tables for the bar area
> 4’x4’ OR 2’x4’ lexan or plexiglass panels ½” thick
> Cans of paint
> Paper drinking cups (a gazillion)
> Fabrics
> Large earth augers
More to come soon
That’s all for this issue!
My name is Admiral Painjoy and I just passed my
drug test… man does my dealer have some explaining to do!
“The Paddler”
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Village
(That’s right… we said “Village” bitch!)
Welcome to the first issue for 2009…
Welcome to the Evolution!!!
~Admiral Painjoy~
You are receiving this email because:
#1 - You were camped with us in Spanky’s last year and
we want you back… or…
#2 - We are trying to lure you into our nefarious web… or…
#C - You are a friend of Spanky’s and you want to stay
abreast of whatz going on (hehe… he said breast)… or…
#four – You are a member of one of our new camps… or…
#V – The recent outbreak of sunspots has caused this
email to travel down the wrong tube… in the network
of interweb tubes
APRIL 2009
Only 138 days til Burning Man
(or 3312 hours or 198,720 minutes or 11.9 million shakes of
a lambs tail… give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> Village People
> Medallions for your camp
> Website
> Sign-Ups
> Who’s Signed Up so Far
> Dues
> Workshifts
> The Skunkworks
> Spanky’s wish list
VILLAGE PEOPLE
That’s right, we’re a village, people!
Last year, we were Spanky’s Wine Bar (with three sub-camps;
the burning band, villains & virgins, and DB’s massage/hairwash)
This year we will have those camps, plus…
>The PVM (Positive Vibe Movement)
> Camp Mystic (The were our neighbors last year)
> Hookah Homestead
(maybe more?)
Most of the members of these new camps are based in Florida
(but they all know how to properly work a butterfly ballot)
The PVM crew has a new art/party bus (called the NautiBus)
and there are many awesome fire performers and DJs in the
PVM/Mystic crew. They will be hosting a party on Thursday
night in the Village called “The Evolution of Breaks”. PVM
also will be bringing a big Moroccan tent to the village which
will be home to many pampering delights.
The Hookah Homestead is bringing a tent to the village
wherein there will be hookahs, tobaccos and a nice, chill
atmosphere for the wee hours of the morning. We love the
ambient sunrise sets!
Each of these camps (along with the others) will soon be posting
a more detailed description and history, which will be posted on
the Village website.
Spanky’s is very happy to welcome our new friends into the fold.
MEDALLIONS FOR YOUR CAMP
Our friend Jonathan West (aka Dr. Entomo) is a former member
of Firefly Village and the conGLOMerate Village. Veteran
burners may remember his “dragonfly shower” in the Glom. Well,
it turns out that Jonathan recently started a new business in which
he creates (among other things) medallions. The sort that can be
hung on necklaces (or more apropos to our village, slave collars).
He works with brass, copper and aluminum. He can create different
shapes (not just circles). He can finish in different patinas. They can
be one sided or two sided. Designs can be engraved or raised. And
they are very nice looking (I have a sample in front of me right now
that looks like an antique coin… silver dollar size).
They are near mint quality but with a certain look that can
only be described as “fine burner jewelry”. The prices for the medallions
range from $8-$10 each based on the options selected from above.
Attached to this email are some samples of the sort of things he can do.
Here’s what we should do. First off, let’s design a medallion for Spanky’s
Village. Second, lets design medallions for the other camps too! Then
whomever wants some, can order them thru the Spanky’s website.
Keep in mind that we cannot wait until the last minute to finalize designs
and orders and expect that Jonathan can fill the orders overnight.
We need to create and summit our design ideas as soon as possible
to ensure that Jonathan has ample time to complete them all.
We need to keep our design to detail at a level similar to that of those
depicted in the attachments. Jonathan is happy to provide a 3-d
rendering of design ideas for approval.
I will also look into different slave collars, necklaces, etc that we could
hang our medallions from and I will post that info in the next Paddler.
Once we have all that info, we can place orders. This medallion/collar
stuff is voluntary and is not part of the village dues. I will volunteer to
organize the orders for everyone.
Send all your design ideas to Painjoy at: jimhillas_gc (at) yahoo (dot) com
They should be drawn in detail (or done with a computer program
dwg or dfx) and sent in jpg (or other common) format.
Once we have a few, we will vote on the best ones.
Happy designing!
WEBSITE
We are about a month behind schedule due to malicious gremlins
and evil forces of the universe, but…
The website is up and running and nearly complete.
We are adding more content and more details every week.
Our website is a very useful tool and you can refer to it often.
I am currently working on the workshift sign-up page.
Then I will be adding lots and lots of pics to the site.
If you have any pics you want considered for the site, email
them to Admiral Painjoy.
Here’s the link to the Spanky’s Village website:
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
SIGNUPS
You are not an official member of the Village until you go to the
website and sign up. If you have camped with us before or if you
are a member of one of our new camps, no approval is needed. If
you are a prospective member, please send Admiral Painjoy an email
so that he can vet you. Signing up is easy and it only takes a few
minutes… and it merely costs you your soul! (bwahahaha)
There is a limited amount of space in the Village for camping, so
sign up right away.
Here’s who has signed up so far:
NAME PLAYANAME – LOCATION – CAMP
Jim H. Painjoy Cali SWB
Tom E. Pope DB Oregon SWB
Bill A. Beach Boy FL PVM
Charlie C. Charlie-in-the-OC Cali SWB
Bruce D. Mr. Guano Cali BBand
Shannon A. Shennanigans Cali SWB
Joey P. Mayor Joey Nev SWB
John B. Birdsong New Orleans BBand
Nancy S. Hooker Clown FL SWB
Inge K. Inge Amsterdam V&V
Cynthia C. SINdy Cali BBand
Regina D. Playa Bitch FL PVM
Trenton P. Catfish Cali SWB
Paul M. Carbon Buildup Oregon BBand
Diane G. Carmen Cali BBand
Barry G. Pooch Cali BBand
Alex V. Sasha Wash V&V (paid dues, but need to sign up)
Anna V. Anna Wash V&V (paid dues, but need to sign up)
Rob C. Carpy Cali BBand
Welcome aboard matees!
VILLAGE DUES
Our village dues help pay for the infrastructure of the village (see
the website for more details). The dues are currently $100.00 per
Village member.
We understand that times are tough for everyone financially, but
without this money, we don’t get to have the village we want. And
our dues are low compared to most other Esplanade villages. And
when you consider the other costs associated with going to Bman
(driving, flying, bman ticket, camping equipment, food, costumes, etc)
the Village dues are the smallest expense.
But, none-the-less, we do have options available. There are payment plans
available to those who are on a weekly/monthly budget. There is also
a “severe hardship case” fund (which is funded by the generosity of
other village members/rockstars who pay more than the prevailing dues rate).
If you need to avail yourself of either of these options, send an email
to Admiral Painjoy. No willing and able “Spanker” should be denied
admittance because they are broke. All emails are kept in the strictest
of confidence.
And please, if you can afford it, pay more than the minimum dues so
that we can have everything and everyone that we want/need on the playa
this year… be a rockstar if you can!
WORKSHIFTS
There are many reasons for workshifts. First and foremost, they spread
the workload over the entire village. Without shifts, a very few people
wind up doing most of the work… and that’s not fair. Many hands make
light work. (And “work” is a relative term, I mean, how much “work” is
it to bring a beautiful person to orgasm?... OK, maybe a bad example)
Second, workshifts assure that our attractions are open and available to
the public when we say they will be. Being an Esplanade village, we are
required to be open for business and interactive most hours of the day
and night. Our toys and bar are what warrant our Esplanade real-estate.
Third, many of our toys and attractions are so much fun, that people get upset
if they don’t get an opportunity to run them. Shifts make sure that everyone
gets a fair shot at them.
Fourth, we are only asking for 8 hours on the playa (aside from set-up and
break down). That leaves 160+ hours of free time to do fuck-all!
And finally, pitching-in makes you feel like you are part of the village and
not just a guest. There are usually great social aspects to the workshifts.
You get to meet your fellow Spankers. You get to meet new and interesting
burners.
Now, I know many of you are thinking that you don’t want to be “tied
down” (wait, bad choice of words), “locked into” (hmmm, not much better)
“strapped to” (I can’t stop!... ok, breathe)… “committed” to particular times
to do things on the playa. This is understandable. After all, this is your
vacation. We understand. We are only asking that you sign up for shifts
and make a good effort to stick to your word. If you are hung over, drunk,
exhausted, etc., just let the “camp bitch” for the day know about it. He
or she will try to fill your work shift. Or, even better, you can find
somebody to swap shifts with.
It may appear that Painjoy is trying to run the camp in a way-too-
organized manner, but fear not. Painjoy is a soft touch, a very sweet and
gentle man, a nice guy (but don’t ever turn your back on him for a second!)
And if you completely and totally refuse to sign up for workshifts (for
religious, political, or psychological reasons), just send Admiral
Painjoy an email and he will work something out with you.
There now… that wasn’t so bad… was it?
THE SKUNKWORKS
It takes a village to build a village. We have scheduled three work/party
weekends at Mayor Joeys ranch in Fallon, NV (aka The Skunkworks).
We work on the toys and the village infrastructure projects during the
daytime… We party hardy at night. These weekends are lotza fun. There
are things for everyone to do. Please join us for a weekend (or two, or
three) if you can. All the needed info is on the website.
The first Skunkworks weekend is June 5 – 7. This weekend was selected
so that Phil could make it… see ya there Phil! ;)
Note: If you are flying-in for a Skunkworks weekend, we will probably
be able to pick you up and drop you off at the Reno airport. Let APJ
know if you require this service.
Also, we will need people to help load trucks on the days just before
bman… and we will need people to help unload after the event.
All volunteers will get laid! Let Painjoy know if you can help when
you signup to join the village.
SPANKY’S WISH LIST
Here is a list of things that we are on the lookout for… either free
or dirt cheap. Keep in mind that these things need to make it to
Mayor Joey’s ranch some time before bman.
> Sofas and chairs for the bar area
> Coffee tables for the bar area
> 4’x4’ OR 2’x4’ lexan or plexiglass panels ½” thick
> Cans of paint
> Paper drinking cups (a gazillion)
> Fabrics
> Large earth augers
More to come soon
That’s all for this issue!
My name is Admiral Painjoy and I just passed my
drug test… man does my dealer have some explaining to do!
JimHillas.Org Spanky's Village
"We won't do anything to you that you won't beg for again tomorrow"
"We won't do anything to you that you won't beg for again tomorrow"
| Paddler Archives (past issues of the village newsletter) |
JUNE 2009
The Paddler
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Village
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
“Your heart may belong to The Man… but your
ASS belongs to Spanky’s”
You are receiving this email because:
1- You are a spanker… or…
2- You are a spankee… or…
3- You are awesome!... or…
4- We found your email address on the men’s room wall of Bruno’s Bar & Grill in Gerlach
JUNE 2009
Only 100 days til Burning Man
(or 2400 hours or 144,00 minutes or 8.64 million shakes of
a beaver tail… give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> Village Status
> Spanky’s on-playa Events
> SWB medallions and necklaces
> Skunkworks - June 5-7
> Sign-ups and Dues
> Spanky’s Wish List
VILLAGE STATUS
“It takes a child to raise a village”.
~Admiral Painjoy~ (child)
Yes my fellow Spankers, we are still Spanky’s Village. Technically we were a village last year also (SWB, BBand, DBs and V&V). However,
most of the PVM and Hookah Homestead crew will be doing their own camp this year. They will try to acquire space near us.
Meanwhile, Spanky’s steams forward. It’s looking as if Spanky’s will be a bit larger than last year. More people, more toys, more events,
more fun. We are switching into high gear now that the summer months are upon us. (Low gear was lying face down on the carpet drooling.
We hope that high gear is a bit more energetic)
I wish you all could see the vision I have in my mind of what Spanky’s is going to be this year. If only half of it comes to fruition, we are going to
be one of the best camps on the playa. You should all be getting all kinds of crazy, excited, jazzed up by now. This is it. We are going to blow
away our minds, our neighbors, and everyone who experiences Spanky’s. When people talk about their life-changing BM experiences, they
will be talking about US!
SPANKY’S ON-PLAYA EVENTS
In addition to last year’s events (the LBD parade, the ShirtCocker’s Ball, the Best Buttz contest, the V&V party and MPR) we will be expanding
and adding the following:
* The Best Buttz contest will be expanding to include girl-buttz (yum!)
* The Burning Band will be leading the revival of the Weird Underwear
Brigade Remember to pack you wildest and most creative (or even
home-made) unmentionables for this zany parade. (Anyone caught wearing
tightie-whities will be beaten… errr… umm… NOT beaten. Damn, this is a
tough group to motivate!)
* Admiral Painjoy will be hosting a “mash-up” party on Monday
night at 11pm. What’s a “mash-up” you ask? Contrary to popular belief
it has nothing to do with squashing potatoes between Piano Wench’s breasts.
Mash-ups are a genre of music where songs are created by the merging/mixing of two
or more existing songs.
* Villains & Virgins, Burning Band, and perhaps PVM and Mystic will
also be hosting parties (themes, days and times TBA)
* Inappropriate yoga class(es) hosted by V&V (day/time TBA)
* Whipped Dreams and the Whippit Olympics (classified top secret)
MEDALLIONS AND NECKLACES
The last “Paddler” included a request for medallion designs. I received a grand total of zero… phuking zero! Have you all lost your creative
mojo??? We need some ideas to choose from! (Actually, I did receive a few designs, but they all included images of Hayseed’s penis, and
unfortunately the machinery our fabricator uses isn’t capable of engraving in such small detail!... sorry Hayseed, I couldn’t resist… I know, pot
calling the kettle black)
Email some designs people! Go to the http://www.jimhillas.org/medallioncollar.html for examples of what our friend Jonathan can make for
us. They are really quite impressive!
Also, see the pics of the great “bullet and bead” necklaces Mayor Joey is making for us.
He has assured us that these beads are new and clean and not from his private “bead” collection.
And if you want medallions for your individual camps, Jonathan can do that also. Minimum order is 20 medallions (in increments of 5).
Medallions and necklaces are optional and not included in your dues. The necklaces are $10 each and the medallions are $8. But the first
step is creating some designs.
SKUNKWORKS (SPANKY’S WORK/PARTY WEEKEND)
Calling all left coasters!!!!!!!!!! Join your fellow Spankers in the land of guns, casinos and hookers!
Our first work/party weekend is June 5-7 (next weekend). If you live on the west coast, you should be there. No excuses. I don’t care if your
Chihuahua has separation anxiety or that is the weekend you scheduled for your hysterectomy, you should be there! Plus, Mayor Joey’s ranch
is situated on a huge plot of secluded desert which is great for our Saturday night party (and is also great for hiding the bodies… evil laugh).
Plus I think we have all the tools to do your surgery free of charge!
There will be plenty for everyone to do… construction, painting, welding, underwater basket weaving, etc.
If you need directions, simply go to the FBI’s Most Wanted list, click on Mayor Joey’s mug shot and select “Last known location”. Or just go to
http://jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html
There are Spankers coming from all directions, so rideshares are definitely an option. So are Reno airport pickups. RSVP today to let me
know you are coming. (I know that Doug (Major D) is looking for somebody to share travel expenses… he departs on Friday from the LA area)
SIGN-UPS AND DUES
A great big Thank You to all who have singed up and paid your dues! Those who have not, please do so ASAP. The cost of dues goes up
each month because we need money early. Paying your dues in August doesn’t help us now when we need to pay for things like the
generator, the new shade panels for the BASS, construction materials for the work party weekends, etc. So please, jump onto the website
and sign-up and pay your dues… then you can go back to surfing www.awkwardboners.com afterwards.
Click here to pay your dues: http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html
SPANKY’S WISH LIST
Here is a list of things that we are on the lookout for… either free
or dirt cheap. Keep in mind that these things need to make it to
Mayor Joey’s ranch some time before bman.
> Sofas, bar stools and chairs for the bar area
> Coffee tables for the bar area
> 4’x4’ OR 2’x4’ clear lexan or plexiglass panels ½” thick
> Cans of paint (any colors)
> Paper drinking cups (one or two gazillion)
> Fabric
> Large earth augers (we need LARGE augers. The actual size of the Earth will not be
changing.)
> Orange “trash fencing” and T-stakes
> Two shrubberies of different heights to create a two-level effect with a little path
running down the middle…
THIS SECTION INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK (or is it?)
You are a clever little hacker, aren’t you!
That’s all for this issue!
Spank you very much!
apj
The Paddler
The monthly newsletter for Spanky’s Village
http://www.jimhillas.org/spankyswinebar.html
“Your heart may belong to The Man… but your
ASS belongs to Spanky’s”
You are receiving this email because:
1- You are a spanker… or…
2- You are a spankee… or…
3- You are awesome!... or…
4- We found your email address on the men’s room wall of Bruno’s Bar & Grill in Gerlach
JUNE 2009
Only 100 days til Burning Man
(or 2400 hours or 144,00 minutes or 8.64 million shakes of
a beaver tail… give or take)
In this month’s infomercial:
> Village Status
> Spanky’s on-playa Events
> SWB medallions and necklaces
> Skunkworks - June 5-7
> Sign-ups and Dues
> Spanky’s Wish List
VILLAGE STATUS
“It takes a child to raise a village”.
~Admiral Painjoy~ (child)
Yes my fellow Spankers, we are still Spanky’s Village. Technically we were a village last year also (SWB, BBand, DBs and V&V). However,
most of the PVM and Hookah Homestead crew will be doing their own camp this year. They will try to acquire space near us.
Meanwhile, Spanky’s steams forward. It’s looking as if Spanky’s will be a bit larger than last year. More people, more toys, more events,
more fun. We are switching into high gear now that the summer months are upon us. (Low gear was lying face down on the carpet drooling.
We hope that high gear is a bit more energetic)
I wish you all could see the vision I have in my mind of what Spanky’s is going to be this year. If only half of it comes to fruition, we are going to
be one of the best camps on the playa. You should all be getting all kinds of crazy, excited, jazzed up by now. This is it. We are going to blow
away our minds, our neighbors, and everyone who experiences Spanky’s. When people talk about their life-changing BM experiences, they
will be talking about US!
SPANKY’S ON-PLAYA EVENTS
In addition to last year’s events (the LBD parade, the ShirtCocker’s Ball, the Best Buttz contest, the V&V party and MPR) we will be expanding
and adding the following:
* The Best Buttz contest will be expanding to include girl-buttz (yum!)
* The Burning Band will be leading the revival of the Weird Underwear
Brigade Remember to pack you wildest and most creative (or even
home-made) unmentionables for this zany parade. (Anyone caught wearing
tightie-whities will be beaten… errr… umm… NOT beaten. Damn, this is a
tough group to motivate!)
* Admiral Painjoy will be hosting a “mash-up” party on Monday
night at 11pm. What’s a “mash-up” you ask? Contrary to popular belief
it has nothing to do with squashing potatoes between Piano Wench’s breasts.
Mash-ups are a genre of music where songs are created by the merging/mixing of two
or more existing songs.
* Villains & Virgins, Burning Band, and perhaps PVM and Mystic will
also be hosting parties (themes, days and times TBA)
* Inappropriate yoga class(es) hosted by V&V (day/time TBA)
* Whipped Dreams and the Whippit Olympics (classified top secret)
MEDALLIONS AND NECKLACES
The last “Paddler” included a request for medallion designs. I received a grand total of zero… phuking zero! Have you all lost your creative
mojo??? We need some ideas to choose from! (Actually, I did receive a few designs, but they all included images of Hayseed’s penis, and
unfortunately the machinery our fabricator uses isn’t capable of engraving in such small detail!... sorry Hayseed, I couldn’t resist… I know, pot
calling the kettle black)
Email some designs people! Go to the http://www.jimhillas.org/medallioncollar.html for examples of what our friend Jonathan can make for
us. They are really quite impressive!
Also, see the pics of the great “bullet and bead” necklaces Mayor Joey is making for us.
He has assured us that these beads are new and clean and not from his private “bead” collection.
And if you want medallions for your individual camps, Jonathan can do that also. Minimum order is 20 medallions (in increments of 5).
Medallions and necklaces are optional and not included in your dues. The necklaces are $10 each and the medallions are $8. But the first
step is creating some designs.
SKUNKWORKS (SPANKY’S WORK/PARTY WEEKEND)
Calling all left coasters!!!!!!!!!! Join your fellow Spankers in the land of guns, casinos and hookers!
Our first work/party weekend is June 5-7 (next weekend). If you live on the west coast, you should be there. No excuses. I don’t care if your
Chihuahua has separation anxiety or that is the weekend you scheduled for your hysterectomy, you should be there! Plus, Mayor Joey’s ranch
is situated on a huge plot of secluded desert which is great for our Saturday night party (and is also great for hiding the bodies… evil laugh).
Plus I think we have all the tools to do your surgery free of charge!
There will be plenty for everyone to do… construction, painting, welding, underwater basket weaving, etc.
If you need directions, simply go to the FBI’s Most Wanted list, click on Mayor Joey’s mug shot and select “Last known location”. Or just go to
http://jimhillas.org/skunkworks.html
There are Spankers coming from all directions, so rideshares are definitely an option. So are Reno airport pickups. RSVP today to let me
know you are coming. (I know that Doug (Major D) is looking for somebody to share travel expenses… he departs on Friday from the LA area)
SIGN-UPS AND DUES
A great big Thank You to all who have singed up and paid your dues! Those who have not, please do so ASAP. The cost of dues goes up
each month because we need money early. Paying your dues in August doesn’t help us now when we need to pay for things like the
generator, the new shade panels for the BASS, construction materials for the work party weekends, etc. So please, jump onto the website
and sign-up and pay your dues… then you can go back to surfing www.awkwardboners.com afterwards.
Click here to pay your dues: http://www.jimhillas.org/duesbudget.html
SPANKY’S WISH LIST
Here is a list of things that we are on the lookout for… either free
or dirt cheap. Keep in mind that these things need to make it to
Mayor Joey’s ranch some time before bman.
> Sofas, bar stools and chairs for the bar area
> Coffee tables for the bar area
> 4’x4’ OR 2’x4’ clear lexan or plexiglass panels ½” thick
> Cans of paint (any colors)
> Paper drinking cups (one or two gazillion)
> Fabric
> Large earth augers (we need LARGE augers. The actual size of the Earth will not be
changing.)
> Orange “trash fencing” and T-stakes
> Two shrubberies of different heights to create a two-level effect with a little path
running down the middle…
THIS SECTION INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK (or is it?)
You are a clever little hacker, aren’t you!
That’s all for this issue!
Spank you very much!
apj