| Spanky's Wine Bar The camp that takes a "tongue-in-cheek" approach to wine connoisseurs, while taking a sexy, "paddle-to-cheek" approach to the human anatomy and a "stuff-your-cheeks" approach to gastronomy. |
JimHillas.Org Spanky's Wine Bar
"We won't do anything to you that you won't beg for again tomorrow"
"We won't do anything to you that you won't beg for again tomorrow"
| WARNING!!! This web page contains adult content, is very offensive, and could burn out your retinas. This site is for the exclusive viewing of the members of Spanky's and their invited guests. If you ain't one of them two things... Scram!... Nosey little phuker! |
| Are you a fan of Beaujolais and Bondage? Do you drink Fetzer with your Floggings? Adult Cabaret with your Cabernet? Do you like a little Whine with your Wine? |
| Spanky's is brought to you by the infamous Admiral Painjoy. (See: Dashing and handsome gentleman pictured above) He is responsible for the content of this website... However, he's usually pretty phucked up when he works on the site. If you find any errors or you see an image you feel should be removed from the site, feel free to contact the Admiral. But be forewarned, he probably wont fix the problem... he'll just giggle uncontrollably and pass out. |
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| USE THE BUTTONS BELOW TO NAVIGATE THROUGH THE WEBSITE These ones... down here |
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| to the Spanky's Village website! You win a complimentary spanking. (please assume the position) |
| Burningman 2012 )'( )'( )'( )'( )'( )'( "The first step to recovery, is acquiring a problem" ~Admiral Painjoy~ |
.Ola El Spankos! As most of you know, the Bman Org earmarked the remaining 10K tickets for crucial Bman volunteers, art projects, art cars and theme camps. I submitted our application to the BMorg last week... and I recently heard back from my friend "Scar" from the placement team. The phone meeting went something like this... Painjoy: "Hello" Scar: "Hi Admiral, it's Scar from Burningman" Painjoy: "Oh, Hi Scar. You'd better be calling me with good news" Scar: "Well, no. I'm afraid the news isn't so good. Spanky's was not pre-selected and you didn't get allocated any Bman tickets" Painjoy: "Wanna bet?" Scar: "What?" Painjoy: "You obviously don't remember our little trip to Thailand... remember? You and the gay midget... and the donkey? It would be a shame if people found out about that." Scar: <long pause> "What I meant to say was... Congratulations! Spanky's HAS been pre-selected!!" Painjoy: "And?" <another long pause> "Hee Haw, Hee Haw" Scar: "And you HAVE been allocated some Burningman tickets too!" Painjoy: "Ahhh... now we're communicating. How many tickets?" Scar: "Ummm... 20?" Painjoy: "You know I got the whole midget/donkey scene on video, right?" Scar: "Painjoy, you're a bastard!" Painjoy: "How many tickets?" Scar: "30?" Painjoy: "I think we have a bad phone connection. Certainly not as clear as the video" Scar: "I said, um, 40 tickets" Painjoy: "I'll cut you, bitch" Scar: "Okay, okay... 50 Burningman tickets!" Painjoy: "You're such a good negotiator Scar. Now let's talk about placement. Where will Spanky's be placed this year?" Scar: "We have you slotted for 8:30 and the 'H' street" Painjoy: "I'm sure the girls of Spanky's will love to hear that... you know, the 'Spanky's Strap-On Team'"? Scar: "Welcome back to the Esplanade Admiral" Painjoy: "That's more like it. Good day sir" Scar: "What about the vid..." Painjoy: "I SAID, GOOD DAY" <click> Okay, maybe the phone conversation didn't really go exactly like that. It was a little more like... Scar calling me and telling me that SWB got pre-selected, we have been allocated 50 tickets and we will probably be placed on the Esplanade. Then I jumped for joy, came in my pants and thanked him profusely. In either case, SWB is da bomb bitches!!! <can I get a "hell yeah"> So... here's the dealio on the 50 Bman tickets. They are top-tier tickets ($390.00 each). I will be given some kind of "secret code number" that will be used by the 50 selected Spankers to purchase these allocated tickets directly from Bman. This will happen some time in the next few weeks. 50 tickets may sound like a lot, but it doesn't nearly get us to our goals. We need 150 Spankers to make our budget this year... 40 have tickets already... 50 more tickets only makes 90 Spankers. More tickets will surface, some of you may get tickets through STEP and Low Income and I may allow some "fresh meat" into the village as well. Low Income applications begin TODAY at noon pacific time! STEP begins on Friday. I suggest y'all get on it... SWB still doesn't have enough tix. I already know which "key Spankers" will be offered some of the tickets, but there will be some left over. These will be offered to Spankers that are committing to "go the extra mile" for the village this year. My top priority this year is reliable transportation methods. We need people with pick-up trucks, flat-bed trailers, tow hitches, box trucks, panel trucks, etc. to get our stuff to-and-from the playa. We need a generator towed to-and-from the playa (probably from Reno or Fallon). We need people that can help load-up the equipment in Fallon, set-up early on the playa, load-up after bman (mon/tues), and unload/clean-up in Fallon after Bman. Spankers that can provide that type of work/equipment will be given top priority on tickets. My second priority is people that will be "work horses" on the playa. People that LOVE being part of SWB and will always be helping out the village (with the events, toys, infrastructure, bar, mistresses, LNT, etc). Spanky's is very fortunate to have been pre-selected and allotted Bman tix... let's show our appreciation by putting on a great show this year!! And finally... our budget. Spanky's has a large projected budget this year ($18,000). Our budget is listed on the "dues" page of the website (www.spankyswinebar.com). We also have a few important Spankers for whom the recession has hit very hard. Ticket consideration may be given to people willing to help out with budget shortfalls and/or assisting indigent Spankers with their dues/ticket shortfalls. Contact me privately if you can help. Here's the process. The first thing y'all need to do is "sign up" as a Spanker on the website (if you haven't yet). Mention in the comments section of the "sign up form" that you need a ticket... and tell me what your situation is and how you will help the village. Also, sign up for the Spanky's yahoogroup chat list (on the swb homepage, scroll down and click the yahoo link). I will be emailing or phoning you soon after. Also, I have no problem saying "no". If you're a lazy sparkle pony... don't bother me with your desperate ticket bribes and empty promises. All that being said... we should all be very proud of what Spanky's has done at Burningman!!! Our past performances have warranted the preferential treatment we are getting this year. Way to go bruthas and sistas!!!! Now back to your regularly scheduled perversions, apj |
| LETTER TO ALL SPANKERS SENT BY ADMIRAL PAINJOY ON MARCH 5TH... Re: BMAN TICKETS FOR SWB Hi Spankers, More info on the Bman tickets... I will be getting an email from Scar (our Bman placer) on or before March 13th. This email will have a secret code(s) that members of Spanky's can use to buy their Bman tickets (directly from Bman... not from me - Painjoy). Once I get this email (and the codes), we only have a week to purchase the tickets. They are $390.00 each plus handling. That means that anyone interested must be prepared to pay for them, on or before March 20th. Scar told me that you can purchase more than one ticket on a credit card (so that couples, etc don't get screwed over). You can also use a credit card that isn't in your name (family member, friend, etc). If any of you are able to buy multiple tickets... and then sell them to Spankers that can't purchase their ticket right now, let me know right away. I want to make sure that everyone that needs a ticket can get one. Remember, we have a limited number of tickets. You need to have signed up on the SWB website to be considered for a ticket. I am prioritizing by the criterion mentioned in the last email (posted on the website). The website is www.spankyswinebar.com To sign up, click the "Join Spankys" button. Be sure to mention in the "comments" section of the sign-up form, how you will be contributing to the camp/village. This is very important. It is how I will determine who gets tickets. Merely a phone message or email is not enough... you have to sign up on the website. If you do purchase a ticket through the SWB/Bman ticket system, I will be keeping track of it all. If a Spanker, for some reason, winds up not needing their ticket in the future, the ticket will be sold to the next Spanker in line. Please don't pay your SWB camp dues until you know you are approved, and know you have a ticket on the way. apj |